Sometimes a tantrum is just a tantrum!

[Sophie_2003]

Hello,

I have been reading these boards for a few weeks, planning our last-minute trip (this Friday, yay!).

I read so much about not overplanning or scheduling the kids, don't keep them up too late, etc, as well as people mentionning kids throw fits and tantrums because they are "obviously overtired"...

Let me stand up as one of a countless moms of a temperemental three and a half year old, who sometimes throws tantrums JUST BECAUSE. Not because she is tired, overstimulated, overfed, underfed, thirsty, etc. One minute everything is great, the next...not so much!

So, if you see me in the parks next week, and you see my fiery redhead launching into a fit of rage...sometimes it happens JUST BECAUSE!!!

Just my 2 cents!

 

[ksumn1]

My 4 yr old is one who has tantrums when she's tired. So, if it's past bedtime........Hold on, the tantrum traina a-coming!!! But I do agree that many kids throw tantrums for all the reasons you just said. Or none of them. I've had a tantrum or two myself, just because. At least the red hair gives you a little bit of an explanation "You know what they say about those redheads" My DD's blonde, so I can't use that one!!

 

[coreyjune12]

Hello,

I have been reading these boards for a few weeks, planning our last-minute trip (this Friday, yay!).

I read so much about not overplanning or scheduling the kids, don't keep them up too late, etc, as well as people mentionning kids throw fits and tantrums because they are "obviously overtired"...

Let me stand up as one of a countless moms of a temperemental three and a half year old, who sometimes throws tantrums JUST BECAUSE. Not because she is tired, overstimulated, overfed, underfed, thirsty, etc. One minute everything is great, the next...not so much!

So, if you see me in the parks next week, and you see my fiery redhead launching into a fit of rage...sometimes it happens JUST BECAUSE!!!

Just my 2 cents!

LOL! For a minute there, I had to check and make sure I didn't post this in my sleep! Very well said!!!

 

[Honeymooner04]

Amen!

"Just because" is the only excuse I can give my toddler when she throws a tantrum 20 minutes after she woke up from a 2 hour nap. And this is at home, under normal circumstances. If it happens at home than you can probably be assured it's going to happen at some point in Disney. So, if you see me at the park next week and my dd is throwing a tantrum, it's probably another "just because" one! Although for some reason, maybe the Disney magic, my dd pulls out her BEST behaviour at the parks. Don't ask me why but every trip we have taken my husband and I always wonder "Who is this kid?"

Have a great trip!

 

[teresajoy]

Woops, sorry Corey!

I didn't realize that my son had signed into his account while I was away from the computer!

It was actually me that posted the above comment, not Corey.

 

[LilGMom]

Very well said!! Sometimes a tantrum can simply be nothing more than a child being told "No you can not run down a crowded sidewalk while screaming your head off" and then that turns into a tantrum. "No you can not have that other person's ice cream" can turn into a tantrum (for adults too ). I've seen as many tantrums and hissy fits from adults as I have from kids. My two year old can throw a serious one whenever he darn well feels like it and there are times when I honestly have no idea why he is throwing one.

 

[Aliceacc]

I agree.

Sometimes completely angelic kids will launch into a full blown tantrum because the sprinkles fell off the ice cream or because the lollipop was purple, not red. It's not always a sign of bad parenting or bad planning.

Was it Freud who said "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

They're called "children" for a reaon. We can't (and shouldn't want to) ask them to behave as rational adults.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Yep. It is the nature of small children to challenge boundaries... And to react to them!

 

[larklynn]

Small children we told dd9 no stuffed animals at the zoo saturday and you would have thought we said you are grounded for a month although she just didn't want to talk to anyone. Normally she is not a big tantrum kid either.

 

[Gillian]

Thank you for saying that!

My DD is very sensitive and will get hysterical when told "No." And I don't mean bad no, it could be any no. My mother used to think DD didn't like her because she cried whenever grandma said no. Now we know she does it to everyone.

And she burst into tears (with screaming) when my boss told her, in a barely stern voice, to stop writing on the windowsill. You'd have thought she was stung by a hornet!

 

[Sophie_2003]

1) ths dress she wants to wear is dirty (and she would wear the same dress days and days in a row)

2) the rice TOUCHED the meat on her plate

3) Anytime Mommy says NO at Walmart, the grocery store, the dollar store (which happens a lot...!)

4) Anytime mommy says NO for ice cream for breakfast

5) currently, at any birthday party where (gasp!) there are no gifts for her...


OTOH, whenever somebody else (daycare, babysitter) is with her, the tantrum monster is totally dormant!!!

 

[MissionMouse]

Tandrums are normal in the development of a child but they just don't happen without any meaning or correlation...parental understanding is key. Tantrums are a form of communication...and don't have to be seen as something negative.

It does take some work on the part of the parent to understand the root cause of your child's tantrum since temperaments vary dramatically.

- Lack of attention (positive attendtion vs. negative, plus reinformcement)
- Tired
- Frustrated (don't understand)
- Hungry
- Uncomfortable
- Perception of fairness
- Understand of want
- Lack of autonomy (seek control and independence) - let them have a voice or decision...small stuff...want to ride this ride or that ride, orange juice or milk

The list goes on and on

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

So, if you see me in the parks next week, and you see my fiery redhead launching into a fit of rage...sometimes it happens JUST BECAUSE!!!

Oh yes - I've got one of those ... ALSO a fiery redhead!

Hope you have a great trip!

 

[esk]

I know there will be tantrums...just a question of when....So if anyone sees a 6 year old boy or 2 year old girl standing in a random corner of WDW in December, please don't assume we are the cruelest parents in the world. We're just giving them some "alone" time to get themselves back together.

3 years ago, we put DS (3 at the time) "facing the wall" outside the Spaceship Earth ride exit at Epcot, while he had a mini tantrum. We stood about 10 feet away, just waiting for him to cool down, and yet the people walking by were making comments like "how can they do that? That is so cruel" and "that poor little boy. I'm sure he's just overtired" and even "who put their kid in the corner at DISNEY for xxx sake".

 

[GEM]

The biggest (and only, really) tantrum that my little guy ever had at Disney was over a cookie that, literally, crumbled. He was three years old and we had purchased a cookie for him at the Main Street Bakery and, when he bit into it, it broke into four or five pieces. He came unglued! He screamed and wailed and ranted and raved for a good 10 minutes over that broken cookie - all while I was desperately trying to console him, reason with him, distract him, bribe him, etc. We had waited until we were already outside the gate to give it to him, so we couldn't jut go back in and get another one. He just wailed and cried and carried on over his "broken" cookie until he was done. And, no, he wasn't tired. He wasn't hungry or hot or over-stimulated. It was our second day in the parks and he'd had a very good night's sleep. We'd only been at the Magic Kingdom for about 2 hours. He wasn't any of those things that people like to say causes children (especially other people's children) to have a melt-down. He was just really, really, really ticked off about that stupid cookie.

Yes, sometimes a tantrum is just a tantrum - not a sign post for poor parenting!

 

[jamesmommy]

3 years ago, we put DS (3 at the time) "facing the wall" outside the Spaceship Earth ride exit at Epcot, while he had a mini tantrum. We stood about 10 feet away, just waiting for him to cool down, and yet the people walking by were making comments like "how can they do that? That is so cruel" and "that poor little boy. I'm sure he's just overtired" and even "who put their kid in the corner at DISNEY for xxx sake".

You should see the looks that I get when I tell DS4 if he doesn't behave I will take him home. Folks think that it is either an idle threat (of course she isn't gonna take him home), or that I am cruel (who fusses at a child at Disney, he is just tired, cranky, hungry, ect.). Guess what, we live an hour away and do day visits only, I will turn around and take him home if he is too fussy. He is also on the spectrum, and sometimes has tantrums "just because".

We haven't been to Epcot in a few months now, because of the tantrums we know he will throw (and has thrown), upon finding out he can't ride Spaceship Earth.

 

[~Brandy~]

My husband and I have this conversation a lot. It's easy to judge other parents as you walk by and don't really know what's going on, and heck, maybe some of them DID push their kids to go go go all day in the hot sun with no rest and not enough water, but I know my kids can wake up from their afternoon nap, have a snack, then proceed into a tantrum because the straw on the juice box is bent or Spongebob isn't on. While my kids are generally better when well rested and recently fed, they can still melt down over what seems like nothing to us. (They're 3.5 and 2.)

 

[fan_of_small_world]

Being the mom of a 5-year-old and an almost 9-year-old, the only "look" I'll give parents of a child having a tantrum is the one that says, "I've been in your shoes too." I've even discreetly offered a lollipop to a grandmom with a screaming toddler who was searching for something, anything, to distract him, and nothing was working.

 

[Aliceacc]

I do that too... other people's stuff is ALWAYS better than whatever mom has. Kids love stickers too

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I do that too... other people's stuff is ALWAYS better than whatever mom has.

Very true!

I remember that one incident because we had just gotten off an airplane, and I had lollipops since they seem to help my kids when their ears hurt taking off and landing. I'm always carrying stuff with me to keep the kids from getting bored, so we've shared many a coloring book, crayon pack, sticker sheet, etc. Not to mention the tissues and baby wipes that come in handy. (I wish I was that organized everywhere else, lol!)