OK....I'll play nice this time. Here is a healthy base recipe for a main course or as a side dish. It's extremely low in carbs and lower calories than the alternative.
Cauliflower Rice:
I head of cauliflower
Tbs or so of olive oil
salt and pepper
whatever other spices you want to add
Grate the washed and cut up cauliflower in a food processor (until about the size of rice) or grate with a hand grater (using the medium holes). It can get messy using the hand grater....just sayin'

I stick with the food processor.
Cover a cookie sheet with paper towels and spread the "riced" cauliflower out and cover with paper towels. Refrigerate it for about 15 minutes. This will help draw out moisture so that it firms up when it cooks.
Heat the oil (or to be even healthier you could use an olive oil or butter flavored Pam spray) over medium heat. Add the "rice" and season with your spice mix. Stirfry for about 5 - 8 minutes until it just stars to get browned.
Per serving: 85 calories; 1 gram protein; 8 grams fat; 5 grams saturated fat; 4 grams carbohydrate; 2 grams fiber; 20 milligrams cholesterol
The fat can be lowered simply by substituting the olive oil.
Sometimes I use it as a base to add sauteed shrimp (healthy) or chicken breast (healthy) or even a creole version by adding green pepppers, onions, turkey sausage, diced tomatoes and creole spices. Yum.
Another version I do is to sub a small amount of sesame oil and add low-sodium soy sauce, green onions, water chestnuts, mushrooms and whatnot for a fried rice version.
Cauliflower really stinks when you cut it up and drain the moisture. You might think that something is spoiling in the fridge...don't worry....it's just the cauliflower....it will taste sooooooooooo much better when you cook it.