Somebody say something funny.............

[paigevz]

Okay, my dad used to tell this one when I was growing up.

Once there was a little old country church, and the preacher wanted something to wake up his parishioners, who seemed to be falling asleep in his sermons. So, he had some hay hauled up into the loft of the church, and seated a local boy on the ledge, giving him instructions to throw down some hay whenever he asked, but to keep out of sight.

So, the preacher started preaching, and when the congregation started nodding off, he yelled, "Lord! If what I say is true, then send down some hay from heaven!" And the little boy threw down some hay.

The people were much amazed and looked at their leader with more admiration and attention than ever before.

So he continued to preach, and whenever the congregation would get restless or sleepy, he'd ask for more hay and it would thump down.

Finally, he was just wrapping up, and congratulating himself on how well he'd done, when he thought to have one last hurrah.

Spreading both his arms to the roof of the church, he bellowed, "AND IF YOU BLESS THIS CHURCH ABOVE ALL OTHERS, LORD, THROW DOWN MORE HAY!"

There was silence. The people looked up, and then the little boy popped his face over the ledge and said, "God ain't got no more hay!"

Well, it was funny when I was 8.

 

[scraptoons]

Okay, my dad used to tell this one when I was growing up.

Once there was a little old country church, and the preacher wanted something to wake up his parishioners, who seemed to be falling asleep in his sermons. So, he had some hay hauled up into the loft of the church, and seated a local boy on the ledge, giving him instructions to throw down some hay whenever he asked, but to keep out of sight.

So, the preacher started preaching, and when the congregation started nodding off, he yelled, "Lord! If what I say is true, then send down some hay from heaven!" And the little boy threw down some hay.

The people were much amazed and looked at their leader with more admiration and attention than ever before.

So he continued to preach, and whenever the congregation would get restless or sleepy, he'd ask for more hay and it would thump down.

Finally, he was just wrapping up, and congratulating himself on how well he'd done, when he thought to have one last hurrah.

Spreading both his arms to the roof of the church, he bellowed, "AND IF YOU BLESS THIS CHURCH ABOVE ALL OTHERS, LORD, THROW DOWN MORE HAY!"

There was silence. The people looked up, and then the little boy popped his face over the ledge and said, "God ain't got no more hay!"

Well, it was funny when I was 8.

Gotta tell that to my preacher!!

He probably would even tell it to the whole congregation before he starts his sermon.

 

[paigevz]

Okay, here's the one for Angel.............don't know if she's coming back or not tonight, so I'm gonna go on and post it.

 

[Tiffer]

Okay, here's the one for Angel.............don't know if she's coming back or not tonight, so I'm gonna go on and post it.

Ok, that one REALLy made me LOL..I can totally picture my mom doing that!

 

[scraptoons]

I just can't get the funnies going tonight.

Guess I'm a little to wind fried and tired tonight.

We went to a softball game and weiner roast all outdoors, in a solid block of time.

About 5 hours.

The weiner roast had nothing to do with this morning, in case you are wondering.

 

[paigevz]

I just can't get the funnies going tonight.

Guess I'm a little to wind fried and tired tonight.

We went to a softball game and weiner roast all outdoors, in a solid block of time.

About 5 hours.

The weiner roast had nothing to do with this morning, in case you are wondering.

Thanks for clarifying, I WAS wondering.............

 

[Shugardrawers]

weenies werr roasted this ornin ga dn I misdded it?

 

[Narnian_Princess]

Ooh, paigevz's post made me remember another joke I heard years ago.

~ A cowboy was looking for a horse to buy. He heard about a man outside of town who was selling a horse for a good price, so he decided to check it out. He got there and examined the horse, which was in excellent shape. The cowboy asked if he could take a short ride on the horse to check him out; and when the man who was selling the horse said yes, the cowboy swung himself into the saddle.
"Giddyap!" he said. Nothing happened. He tried again. "Giddyap!" Still nothing. "What's the matter with this horse?" the cowboy asked angrily.
"Oh, nothing's the matter with him," answered the man. "I'm a preacher, so I've trained him to go when I say 'Praise the Lord' and stop when I say 'Amen'."
Interesting, thought the cowboy. So he tried it. "Praise the Lord!" The horse started to move! After riding about 15 feet down the road and back, he said "Amen!" and the horse stopped. "I'll take him!" he said.
The next day the cowboy was riding along in the desert on his new horse and decided to see just how fast the horse could run. So he kicked the horse into a gallop and sat back to enjoy the ride. Suddenly, he noticed that he was fast approaching a very large cliff with no way to avoid it. "Whoa, whoa!" he cried to the horse. Nothing happened, of course. The cowboy knew he would soon be plunging off of a cliff! So he hung onto the saddlehorn, squeezed his eyes tightly shut and said a quick prayer. "God, I know I ain't been such a good person but I hope You'll forgive me and take me to Heaven. Amen." At that, the horse skidded to a stop. The cowboy opened his eyes and found that the horse had stopped less than a foot from the edge of the cliff. Dizzy with vertigo from looking at the sheer drop and relief at having been miraculously saved, the grateful cowboy yelled, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

 

[paigevz]

weenies werr roasted this ornin ga dn I misdded it?

Yes, my friend, and so did I apparently................

 

[scraptoons]

Ooh, paigevz's post made me remember another joke I heard years ago.

~ A cowboy was looking for a horse to buy. He heard about a man outside of town who was selling a horse for a good price, so he decided to check it out. He got there and examined the horse, which was in excellent shape. The cowboy asked if he could take a short ride on the horse to check him out; and when the man who was selling the horse said yes, the cowboy swung himself into the saddle.
"Giddyap!" he said. Nothing happened. He tried again. "Giddyap!" Still nothing. "What's the matter with this horse?" the cowboy asked angrily.
"Oh, nothing's the matter with him," answered the man. "I'm a preacher, so I've trained him to go when I say 'Praise the Lord' and stop when I say 'Amen'."
Interesting, thought the cowboy. So he tried it. "Praise the Lord!" The horse started to move! After riding about 15 feet down the road and back, he said "Amen!" and the horse stopped. "I'll take him!" he said.
The next day the cowboy was riding along in the desert on his new horse and decided to see just how fast the horse could run. So he kicked the horse into a gallop and sat back to enjoy the ride. Suddenly, he noticed that he was fast approaching a very large cliff with no way to avoid it. "Whoa, whoa!" he cried to the horse. Nothing happened, of course. The cowboy knew he would soon be plunging off of a cliff! So he hung onto the saddlehorn, squeezed his eyes tightly shut and said a quick prayer. "God, I know I ain't been such a good person but I hope You'll forgive me and take me to Heaven. Amen." At that, the horse skidded to a stop. The cowboy opened his eyes and found that the horse had stopped less than a foot from the edge of the cliff. Dizzy with vertigo from looking at the sheer drop and relief at having been miraculously saved, the grateful cowboy yelled, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

 

[paigevz]

Good one NP!

Scrappy...........it's too darn early for being frosted...........who frosted you????

 

[scraptoons]

Maybe Hiway can PM you with the weiner story. I don't remember all the exact words. It was a wee bit long, but funny.

 

[scraptoons]

Good one NP!

Scrappy...........it's too darn early for being frosted...........who frosted you????

Somebody on the Good Morning thread, sorry but I can't remember. I'll PM you a frosting.

 

[paigevz]

Somebody on the Good Morning thread, sorry but I can't remember. I'll PM you a frosting.

Scrappy.........it's too EARLY....................

 

[scraptoons]

Scrappy.........it's too EARLY....................

 

[paigevz]

Aw, gee, don't cry............I'll save it. I can't have it and my Thanksgiving in at the same time...............

 

[scraptoons]

Aw, gee, don't cry............I'll save it. I can't have it and my Thanksgiving in at the same time...............

Ha Ha. I thought it was too early too. Haven't had Turkey yet, for crying out loud.

But what the heck. I figured I probably wouldn't get another frosting opportunity again.

I'm getting sleepy. You reckon I should go to bed soon?

 

[paigevz]

Ha Ha. I thought it was too early too. Haven't had Turkey yet, for crying out loud.

But what the heck. I figured I probably wouldn't get another frosting opportunity again.

I'm getting sleepy. You reckon I should go to bed soon?

Um, no. Why? Sleeping is boring and a waste of good DIS time.............

 

[Narnian_Princess]

Um, no. Why? Sleeping is boring and a waste of good DIS time.............

Exactly! Why would I want to sleep when I can get my butt numb and eyes sore by sitting in front of the computer for hours?

 

[scraptoons]

So....you guys think I should put on some more coffee and ?