Some WDW trips not for family?

[mom2rtk]

Are the kids paying for it? If not, I don't see the problem.

Kids are not guaranteed a vacation to whatever destination they desire to visit. If they want to go somewhere else, they can do that when they have a job and can pay for it.

 

[Bonniec]

Hey Jimmy -

Actually there is no contradiction in my post.

There wasn't one in mine either, and since I live here, my views aren't just because it's Disney and this is Disboards.

When I grew up, my parents took us camping every single year. I hate camping and still do. When I was old enough to stay home, I did so. I wanted to go to Europe. I've never looked back on my time and thought...geez my parents were so selfish for not taking me to Europe. But I do look back and appreciate the fact that I got to do it at all....I just wouldn't do it again.



ETA:

In 20 years of vacationing with my parents, I was never once consulted on where we would be vacationing. Once I was old enough to stay home, either alone or with an agreeing grandparent, that option was available. But, my parents (and I, now that I'm an adult) believed that whoever was footing the bill, gets to decide where to go. Even when we travel together now, if they are paying, I'm just grateful for the free trip!

Said perfectly!

 

[waynesgirl]

Bless y'all's hearts...as my grandma used to say when she wanted to make light of the situation.

I have been "spoken to" on the boards for allowing my DS6 to decide where we stay or eat- or my DD15 to help decide. My daughter isn't nuts about WDW anymore, but she has to go, or stay home and do nothing. She chooses WDW. My DS, 6, is of the mind frame of going to WDW forever.

My DH and I go to WDW a lot- some trips aren't even on my siggie line. We love it. But, my kids also go with their grands to Myrtle Beach, Savannah, Panama City, to the local parks and such-so they aren't hurting for fun time.
Once we get to WDW, we always have a great family time- even when there were 5 and we were stuffed into a room like sardines.

However, my kids also get a choice of a big vacation on their 16th bdays. If they choose not to go somewhere nice, it's their choice. My DD wants Italy or California next year- she's just waiting to see which she likes better by next Jan. so I can start planning.

I might not be a great parent for going to WDW every year with them, but if they hated it, they could stay home- they know that. But WDW has the BEST customer service, the convenience, and the overall happiness wrapped up in it so I can concentrate on my children closer than in other countries or cities where I have to plan, search, drive, be wary of pickpockets and crazy people (yeah, I know at WDW too but it is A LOT less). That could be why a lot of parents go that route- I have better fun when I can relax and enjoy the laughter of my kids, even if they are grouchy sometimes.

 

[susieq76]

I don't consult my kids and I won't. They have been to Mexico, on several cruises, up and down the east coast and to Nashville in the past few years. Wherever we decide to go, we make sure it is family friendly (we aren't taking them to Vegas) and go. They don't have a say. Next year we're taking them to cabin on the Hudson for a week and visiting Saratoga and Lake George. If they would rather do something else... well, too bad. This is the family vacation we as parents decided on.

 

[Allison]

Here's the thing-Don't project what is right for your family onto someone else's family.

 

[Bonniec]

Here's the thing-Don't project what is right for your family onto someone else's family.

The tag fairy should put that under your name. That's the best line ever said on the Dis

 

[Nancyg56]

I just don't think it's fair to force the family to take their vacation to the same place every year for 15 years if the kids have lost interest. That defeats the whole purpose of a family vacation.

I agree. I understand that as parents we get to decide out budget, our time-frame and our destination. I did that when my own children were younger. There is no way I could have afforded a Disney Trip more than the one time we took them. We took them where we could afford to go and that meant within driving distance. With that said, I never would have continued to vacation in the same place time after time knowing that the kids were not enjoying it. There are so many places to see and experience that I would have found plenty of family friendly opportunities to spend our vacation time.

Are the kids paying for it? If not, I don't see the problem.

I knew someone who would never vacation anywhere else but Disney. Her kids have never gone to any other vacation destination. No water parks, no theme parks. No beach...except the one time my sis Il and I took them. Mom told me that they wanted to go other places but she did not. Disney or no vacation. I don't know, I get that I pay for vacations but I would never feel good about having a family vacation revolve around only my wants.

Actually to all of those who keep saying that we don't know the issues...that's not true. As I said in the original post I'm know them well. They have plenty of money. The mom is just obsessed with WDW so she won't budge. She's living out her dreams on every trip. The rest just have no say.

The woman I know is like that. Her girls are almost adults now and I see that she has wasted an opportunity to expose them to new experiences while enjoying them at the same time.

I understand and agree, to a point, that parents pay and decide where to take family vacations. But what I don't get is the mentality that one would want to take their kids to the same place year after year after year.

When I was little, we went on a variety of trips. Sure, we went back to some places. But the whole point of vacations in my parents mind was to provide a source of new experiences, sites, places and people.

And this whole, "It is my way or the highway(funny to think of in terms of vacations)" mentality seems ridiculous past a certain age with kids. Sure, your 2 year old should not be adding her input, but you couldn't care less where and what your 12 year old wants to experience? That seems rather odd.

So I do understand where these kids are coming from. And I don't think that they are brats for wanting a different vacation experience after doing the disney thing for SO many years.

When I was a kid we went almost no where. I still remember our one big family vacation and while it was far from perfect it was really great. My parents paid for what they could afford and I understood that. My sister and I were thrilled to go anywhere, we usually stayed home.

I think that is a far cry from "I can afford A B and C. My children would love B or C but I pay so I get to choose. I refuse to consider that they have a voice in where we go, I want C so we go to C!"


I think that when parents place their desires over those of the children time and again there is something a little selfish in that. There is a big difference between a kid deciding vacation destinations for the family and parents finding a way to manage that demand and children who have voiced that they would love to go anywhere else and a parent insisting that they do not count, she pays and they go where she wants to go.

Would you use that same logic if a child did not want to eat lobster each time you went out but you paid so no choices allowed? After all that kid is lucky they go out to eat?

 

[JimmyV]

In 20 years of vacationing with my parents, I was never once consulted on where we would be vacationing.

I don't consult my kids and I won't.

I guess we were just lucky then. Dad would gather us all in the living room and we would have a "family conference" and talk about what we would like to do. Of course, he ultimately had single vote veto power over everything. But we were consulted. Our opinions were given weight, and a decision was made. The family unit was not a democracy. But it wasn't a dictatorship either. More like a parlimentary monarchy. I have held true to this tradition with my family. It works very well for us. Funny story, which is emblematic of this thread. After many, many years of consecutive trips to WDW, we started taking vacations over seas and around the country. My daughter got to go to Australia, Italy, France, California (yes, with DL and DCA visits included!), and last year, when we had our vacation conference, she said: "Dad. Don't get me wrong. I love the travel that we do and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But this year, I'd like to go back to WDW and I'd like to bring my best friend who has never been. And so we did.

Which leads us to.....

Here's the thing-Don't project what is right for your family onto someone else's family.

I won't tell others that their "I'm paying for it, so we will do as I say" method is ridiculous, and I would hope for the same courtesy in reverse.

 

[lustergirl]

Gee: who would of known this would of turned into a parenting advice thread? Oh wait a minute, forget for a minute there I was on the "disboards".

 

[eliza61]

I just don't think it's fair to force the family to take their vacation to the same place every year for 15 years if the kids have lost interest. That defeats the whole purpose of a family vacation.

I didn't read all the responses and this is just my take on it.

At some point your kids turn into independant beings. I know it sucks and I know every one longs for the "good old days" when they were babies but when you break it down, they are supposed to do that. My kids also for the most part "done with Disney". they enjoy it occasionaly but at 21 there is ohter stuff my son would rather do. I'm totally cool with that.

For my family, we make time all year long. one of my sons is still home so with him is fairly easy. This weekend we are headed into Center City Philly to do the JayZ made in America festival. That's our family time, I don't need a specific week or place to make that happen. Thanksgiving my other son will be home from college so that will be our family time, probably spent at the outlet mall shopping.

Sorry, It seems like parents here spend so much time "pining" for the good ole days. Your kids are supposed to grow up and move on.

 

[gtpoohbear]

I guess I have a hard time with the idea that since the parents are paying for a vacation, the kids shouldn't get any say in it. The kids are part of the family too, of course they aren't paying for it, but I would think that part of the reason that the parents are willing to pay for it is because they want their kids to have a good time and make good memories.

I mean, do you not let the kids have a say in anything you spend money on just because the money isn't "theirs"? What about the clothes they wear, or the food they eat, or the sports they play? Do you just pick all that stuff out for them even if they hate what you pick, because, hey it's your money, they should just keep their mouth shut and be grateful you are keeping them alive? I don't know any parents that do that, so I don't see why vacations are any different. Sure they can't always have what they want, but they should at least get a say.

In our family, we take turns each year picking our big vacation. I pick one year, DH picks the next, DD the next, and when DS is old enough he'll get a pick as well. Of course we all talk together about where we want to stay exactly, and what activities we want to do. It is a FAMILY vacation, so the whole family is involved in the planning process.

 

[eliza61]

I guess I have a hard time with the idea that since the parents are paying for a vacation, the kids shouldn't get any say in it. The kids are part of the family too, of course they aren't paying for it, but I would think that part of the reason that the parents are willing to pay for it is because they want their kids to have a good time and make good memories.

I mean, do you not let the kids have a say in anything you spend money on just because the money isn't "theirs"? What about the clothes they wear, or the food they eat, or the sports they play? Do you just pick all that stuff out for them even if they hate what you pick, because, hey it's your money, they should just keep their mouth shut and be grateful you are keeping them alive? I don't know any parents that do that, so I don't see why vacations are any different. Sure they can't always have what they want, but they should at least get a say.

In our family, we take turns each year picking our big vacation. I pick one year, DH picks the next, DD the next, and when DS is old enough he'll get a pick as well. Of course we all talk together about where we want to stay exactly, and what activities we want to do. It is a FAMILY vacation, so the whole family is involved in the planning process.

I think there is a middle ground. My sons could pick their clothes but if I didn't think what they picked was appropriate you best believe they weren't wearing in. For example, the trend with teen boys was wearing your jeans south of your backside. My sons know, I'll burn every last pair of jeans you own and let you walk around in your skivees before I let you look like a thug.

My niece (who we are raising) has the same rules. NO you don't not get to wear hoochie mama clothes. no you do not get to wear skin tight shirts with your "girls" hanging out.

So yes, there are some decisions about their lives I still make. Now I do get input into where they'd like to go. My son wants to go to Egypt, sorry that ain't happening.

Plenty of times we have said we are going XYZ for vacation and left it at that. my kids are pretty easy, they simply like having fun and we know their likes and dislikes.

 

[gtpoohbear]

I think there is a middle ground. My sons could pick their clothes but if I didn't think what they picked was appropriate you best believe they weren't wearing in. For example, the trend with teen boys was wearing your jeans south of your backside. My sons know, I'll burn every last pair of jeans you own and let you walk around in your skivees before I let you look like a thug.

My niece (who we are raising) has the same rules. NO you don't not get to wear hoochie mama clothes. no you do not get to wear skin tight shirts with your "girls" hanging out.

So yes, there are some decisions about their lives I still make. Now I do get input into where they'd like to go. My son wants to go to Egypt, sorry that ain't happening.

Plenty of times we have said we are going XYZ for vacation and left it at that. my kids are pretty easy, they simply like having fun and we know their likes and dislikes.

Well sure there has to be middle ground, it's not like DD could say that she picked Australia for her vacation year, and we'd be off and running, lol! The choice has plenty of limitations, just like anything.

And you said that you know your kids likes and dislikes, and as long as you are taking that into consideration then that's really the same thing. i just don't get why parents would continually drag their kids someplace they hated, and justify it by saying it was their money.

 

[gator girl]

Sounds like SOMEone needs to discover the joys of an adults-only trip...

 

[Stacy's a freak]

While I see the OP's point, since when do kids get a say in where the family goes on vacation? When they pay for it, then they can say where they go. Otherwise, suck it up buttercup.

Ditto!!

 

[skullsplitter]

I can understand where the kids are coming from. Every year my parents took us to the beach and stayed in the same couple of hotels. It was eventually just boring. When I was a teen I had the option of staying home and I took it. I didn't demand to stay home and I didn't demand to go somewhere else. I can see where even going to Disney every year could be a bore for a teen.

I do agree with those that say the parents have the final say on where to go. We do ask our kids where they want to go, but they understand that we have the final say and the final pay.

 

[dawnhaze]

The parents should leave the kids with a relative and go on vacation alone. That was always my option as a kid when I didn't like where mom and dad wanted to go on summer vacation. I never wanted to go visit Michigan or some camping site in the middle of nowhere, so they let me stay with grandma and grandpa.

The kids might change their tune after they miss a couple of vacations. Or, they'll genuinely enjoy not having to go to Disney, and everyone's happy.

 

[JimmyV]

The parents should leave the kids with a relative and go on vacation alone. That was always my option as a kid when I didn't like where mom and dad wanted to go on summer vacation. I never wanted to go visit Michigan or some camping site in the middle of nowhere, so they let me stay with grandma and grandpa.

The kids might change their tune after they miss a couple of vacations. Or, they'll genuinely enjoy not having to go to Disney, and everyone's happy.

I suppose that this is one way to handle it. But I'm not sure the "should" part of this is fair. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Personally, I like spending vacations with my child. And it is especially fun when everyone is happy. So I would strive for a compromise. So the "should leave the kids" recommendation simply wouldn't work on me. And I'll bet this is true for others as well.

 

[Andtototoo]

I think it comes down to asking, "What is the goal of our family vacation?" and what is the definition of "vacation?"

My parents' goal was to have fun doing stuff they wanted to do away from home in X with us in tow. They therefore considered the "family vacations" they designed for themselves to be a rousing success. My sister and I loathed our "family vacations" and repeatedly asked to stay home with our grandparents than visit X again. No go. We had to participate because it was "family" time.

As adults, we both see that our parents were operating under three misapprehensions:
1. If they liked something, then we would too. They just had to keep exposing X to us. Over and over and over. To the exclusion of other options. The fact that it didn't work in 18 years meant that they just needed to keep trying OR that we were both willfully stubborn and were refusing to ADMIT we liked it when we really did.

2. Being an adult and the "head" of a social unit means you always get your way and never have to consider the needs and wants of others.

3. Being together as a family while not at home equals a good time for all.

As adults, time has not given us rose-colored glasses about those trips -- we do not have fond memories of them. When as an adult I went to Grand Cayman and bought the requisite postcard from "Hell" there, I sent it to my sister and she responded back with, "Wait. Did you lose your mind and go back to X?" I have a child and chose to design "family vacations" differently from my parents. Our family vacation choices are such that each vacation is a mix of what each of us wants to do. (For the stuff my dh and I like to do as individual adults, we go on separate vacations. If we couldn't afford to take separate vacations, then we would wait until she left home to do so.) My dd, like us, has very fond memories of our family vacations and I therefore consider our family vacations to have met our goals.

 

[goofy Jr. 88]

Now I know why there are so many pages to this thread.
Instead of going to WDW every year, you could always take the family to DL in California.