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[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I know whst makes dh tick its my indapendce he hates the fact that with eatch passing day my mom is teaching and giving me tools to be more independent I am getting further in life then I ever thought I would

Our relationship started creepy more like caregiver taker but now that i am doing for myself more then I thought I could now he feels forced to get a job now that i can do day to day things by myself and he does not belive he can he thinks employers are always going to find excuses not to hire him

 

[disykat]

Congrats on your growing independence!

Has he considered a job in the caretaking field? We have been so blessed by the people who work in my parent's senior residential community. Many of them started with having experience with caregiving within their own families. Talk about a job that makes a difference in people's lives! My dad loves it when they hire a male, and there are a few great men there, but very few apply. At their place there are custodial and maintenance staff, food servers, aides, and medical aides as well as numerous other positions. All of them make a difference with what they do every single day.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Congrats on your growing independence!

Has he considered a job in the caretaking field? We have been so blessed by the people who work in my parent's senior residential community. Many of them started with having experience with caregiving within their own families. Talk about a job that makes a difference in people's lives! My dad loves it when they hire a male, and there are a few great men there, but very few apply. At their place there are custodial and maintenance staff, food servers, aides, and medical aides as well as numerous other positions. All of them make a difference with what they do every single day.

I will talk to him about it he has problems standing for long periods due to his own physical disability is there a job where he can sit if needed

 

[disykat]

That is harder since most are pretty physical jobs. They do have people that man the front desks though. The people at my parent's place keep pretty busy manning phones, answering questions etc. but night staff is slower and they mostly serve a security function. They often have them doing things like folding napkins for the dining room, putting together schedules, etc. on their down time.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

My prediction is correct my mom is making dh get a job come January

 

[low-key]

relationships are always evolving, hang in therre Im sure without him as not as nearly romantic as you think

 

[disneychrista]

I know your DH has disabilities. Does your area have services that can help your DH in getting employment that is suitable for him?

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I know your DH has disabilities. Does your area have services that can help your DH in getting employment that is suitable for him?

He does wuifly for a job coach

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

relationships are always evolving, hang in therre Im sure without him as not as nearly romantic as you think

I am sorry i did not understand your post

 

[low-key]

I am sorry i did not understand your post

I cant read my writing either

 

[tarheelmjfan]

My prediction is correct my mom is making dh get a job come January

Tink, I don't know how to say this, but this post doesn't sound good to me. It sounds like you're going down a negative path where your marriage is concerned. Your recent posts kind of sound like you've decided you're DH has to do what your Mom & you want or you're moving on. I think lowkey was basically saying you may regret that decision. It's not easy to find someone who respects you & loves you for who you are.

ETA: @low-key, please feel free to correct me, if I misinterpreted your post.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Tink, I don't know how to say this, but this post doesn't sound good to me. It sounds like you're going down a negative path where your marriage is concerned. Your recent posts kind of sound like you've decided you're DH has to do what your Mom & you want or you're moving on. I think lowkey was basically saying you may regret that decision. It's not easy to find someone who respects you & loves you for who you are.

ETA: @low-key, please feel free to correct me, if I misinterpreted your post.

I hear you I have been a wet blanket and I need to be a better wife

Its so hard when he turns down every suggestion I give him I am not trying to boss him around I am trying to help him

He kerps saying he is board

He says school is not his thing i am fine with that

I have been looking hi and low for a gym he would be happy with no luck

So as of January he is going to look for a job or find a hobby because he is obviously board

I dont know how I would feel if dh was not in my life my emotions are all over the place right now

 

[ronandannette]

My prediction is correct my mom is making dh get a job come January

How exactly can your mother make him do anything?

 

[disneychrista]

Why not until January? Why isn't he looking now, at least on the hobby / something to fill his time.

I get being bored. I work FT Monday - Friday but weekends are pretty boring, as I don't have much to do. So I have to find things to fill my time.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I hear you I have been a wet blanket and I need to be a better wife

Its so hard when he turns down every suggestion I give him I am not trying to boss him around I am trying to help him

He kerps saying he is board

He says school is not his thing i am fine with that

I have been looking hi and low for a gym he would be happy with no luck

So as of January he is going to look for a job or find a hobby because he is obviously board

I dont know how I would feel if dh was not in my life my emotions are all over the place right now

I didn't mean to say you haven't been a good wife. Please, don't take my post that way. It wasn't my intention to make you feel bad.

Based on what you've posted recently, it appears you may be considering moving on without your DH. If that's the case, I hope you give that a lot of thought & don't let anyone influence your decision. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret in the future.

You say your DH is physically disabled. Does he draw disability?

What makes you think he's bored? Has he said he's unhappy with his life?

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

How exactly can your mother make him do anything?

She is a force of nature once my gym hosted this couples work out and I was bummed that th would not be there but she convinced him to go last minute

Why not until January? Why isn't he looking now, at least on the hobby / something to fill his time

I get being bored. I work FT Monday - Friday but weekends are pretty boring, as I don't have much to do. So I have to find things to fill my time.

He is in school till then

I didn't mean to say you haven't been a good wife. Please, don't take my post that way. It wasn't my intention to make you feel bad.

Based on what you've posted recently, it appears you may be considering moving on without your DH. If that's the case, I hope you give that a lot of thought & don't let anyone influence your decision. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret in the future.

You say your DH is physically disabled. Does he draw disability?

What makes you think he's bored? Has he said he's unhappy with his life?

thanks I have the hardest will be vacuum ing but I am lobbying for a lighter vacuum for Christmas and the cat box and feeding the cats can't stand the smell it cat food

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Glad they nvited the term sleep on it because I cant imagine life without dh

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Like i said pervous post cant imagine live with out dh

But any time a friend recommends I try something new to improve my quality of life he ask why do i want to go though the trouble

 

[disneychrista]

But any time a friend recommends I try something new to improve my quality of life he ask why do i want to go though the trouble

It must be tough when your partner is set in their ways and doesn't see a need for change. I know it has been suggested and it sounds like it might be difficult to do but have you sat down with your DH and tried to find something you can do together that not only improves each of your quality of life but strengthens your marriage. As an outsider, with no real experience in being in a real relationship, I'd say in part your husband is afraid that if you continue to gain independence you will no longer be happy in your marriage and leave him.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

It must be tough when your partner is set in their ways and doesn't see a need for change. I know it has been suggested and it sounds like it might be difficult to do but have you sat down with your DH and tried to find something you can do together that not only improves each of your quality of life but strengthens your marriage. As an outsider, with no real experience in being in a real relationship, I'd say in part your husband is afraid that if you continue to gain independence you will no longer be happy in your marriage and leave him.

We are going to counciling together at the rnd of the month but like you said he is set in his ways for what ever reason i strive for growth

My live motto is when you stop growing you stop living

As well as tinkerbell i am.known to be a sponge always on the look out for more information