so your feelings on a teen's baby shower?

[Ceila]

Then what is is telling her? Do you throw a party every time you tell a friend you support them? Gee your out of work I want to help you and buy your kid Tennis shoes but lets have a party for me to do it?

You can tell her you support her by taking her to the Dr's or sending her a note. Offering to babysit, Do you have to celebrate? Do you have to have a party to do all this? Actually the money for the party should go to paying for the DR or for the Diapers. You want to truly support her.

By throwing a party for HER, again the baby doesn't care, you are telling her what she did is special and wonderful and great.

No, people are telling her that her baby will be special and wonderful and great. And using the shower money for paying for the doctor??

There are some really bitter people on this thread.

 

[Robinrs]

No, people are telling her that her baby will be special and wonderful and great. And using the shower money for paying for the doctor??

There are some really bitter people on this thread.

Bitter is such a NICE word....

 

[cabanafrau]

Hypothetically, if you're talking about a pregnant teen whose parents will provide assistance, shelter, support until said teen becomes 20 and is able to receive a very sizeable trust, sizeable enough to insure that mother can support herself and her child for a decade or better, enough to allow her to attend college while affording daycare for the child, would it be okay for her parents to throw a welcome baby celebration? Friends and family wouldn't be called upon to provide necessities for baby, however most might choose to pick up some cute baby clothes, books, etc. and they would be congratulating the new mother on her beautiful baby. The pregnancy was not planned & she will not be marrying the father. Heck, she even got pregnant hooking up with a guy she just met at a party & hasn't been able to contact to tell he's a father.

Is it okay to celebrate this baby?

 

[Hannathy]

No, people are telling her that her baby will be special and wonderful and great. And using the shower money for paying for the doctor??

There are some really bitter people on this thread.

sure why not? They have to get paid? a party is a want not a need. Needs should come first. Who do you suggest pay it? Or is this 15 yr old self supporting?

Why would bitter be a good word, you think people who don't want to go to a shower are bitter? bitter about what they didn't have a teen pregnancy?

 

[S. C.]

 

[cjbcam]

Hi new baby! You have a teen mother so you don't deserve to be celebrated. Sorry

This is what a lot of people are basically saying. I feel sad and this is exactly why the statistics are what they are.

 

[luvsJack]

Then what is is telling her? Do you throw a party every time you tell a friend you support them? Gee your out of work I want to help you and buy your kid Tennis shoes but lets have a party for me to do it?

You can tell her you support her by taking her to the Dr's or sending her a note. Offering to babysit, Do you have to celebrate? Do you have to have a party to do all this? Actually the money for the party should go to paying for the DR or for the Diapers. You want to truly support her.

By throwing a party for HER, again the baby doesn't care, you are telling her what she did is special and wonderful and great.

Since this particular shower was given by friends, it is my guess it is telling her "we are there for you". Simple as that. Maybe they want to show their friend that she is still a part of the group.

You seriously think the price of a cake and some plates and napkins will cover a dr. visit?

You have no clue if the girl is out of work, you are making assumptions. And shower gifts aren't always expensive things that are not needed.

A shower is not telling her that what she did is wonderful or special. That is a ridiculous assumption. It may say that EVERY baby is wonderful and special. And that is true.

I mean good Lord, lets not give a "guilty" teen age girl some cake and punch, they may ALL want some!

 

[luvsJack]

Again, your words not mine, you are making inferences. I didn't mention making others want a pregnancy, nor that a teen can't make the choice. Paying is an issue, a sad reality in our country, true statistics don't lie.

The child should be given the option of all choices, but not rewarded. Yes a party for the mom is a type of reward, well maybe reward isn't the right word, but that's what it appears to be. Sorry but choices often stink in our world, and having to mark such hard ones is tough, let alone being influenced by others.

What part of the shower being for the baby do you not quiet understand? Its a BABY shower with gifts for the BABY.

She should have all choices and they should be HER'S and HER'S alone.

What influences are you talking about?

 

[Andtototoo]

Hi new baby! You have a teen mother so you don't deserve to be celebrated. Sorry

This is what a lot of people are basically saying. I feel sad and this is exactly why the statistics are what they are.

The baby does not know or care if it's being celebrated.

 

[skylizard]

Bitter is such a NICE word....

 

[Burnedout]

Lol, that cake and punch must be far better quality than what I've seen served around here at showers to pay for a dr appt.

You all crack me up. No shower for a student because others might get the idea it is glamorous or because that money should go to a dr appt.

Anyone so preachy would not be called on by anyone I've encountered for support.

 

[Hannathy]

There are some really bitter people on this thread.

I find it interesting that so many on this thread have to resort to talking about the people they disagree with instead of the issue.......

I also love the extremes things are taken to when trying to make their point, like the DR and a cake paying for the whole DR bill, like anyone even thinks that. but I'll tell you what, if the co pay at every visit is $15 it would pay that , or if I can't pull all the money for a car out of my wallet I shouldn't give up my starbucks and save that $5. Really.

Stick to the discussion and leave "attacking" the people you don't agree with,

 

[sookie]

I am pretty sure visits for the pregnancy and delivery of the infant are usually covered under a global fee.

 

[Ceila]

I find it interesting that so many on this thread have to resort to talking about the people they disagree with instead of the issue.......

Actually, I did talk about the issue. Or did you not read my entire post? Oh, wait, you obviously did see where I referred to an issue you brought up, because you commented on that. Twice, actually:

sure why not? They have to get paid? a party is a want not a need. Needs should come first. Who do you suggest pay it? Or is this 15 yr old self supporting?

I also love the extremes things are taken to when trying to make their point, like the DR and a cake paying for the whole DR bill, like anyone even thinks that. but I'll tell you what, if the co pay at every visit is $15 it would pay that , or if I can't pull all the money for a car out of my wallet I shouldn't give up my starbucks and save that $5. Really.

The second quote above doesn't make any sense, but could you point out where I said anything about paying for the whole doctor bill? Perhaps you were confused when I said "doctor?" I didn't take it to any extreme. Your assumption that the family might not be able to pay for a doctor's visit or other needs, and therefore should use the money that would go to pay for the shower, is the true extreme.

Stick to the discussion and leave "attacking" the people you don't agree with,

It's kind of funny, but I actually respect the people who have different opinions but can post about them in a civilized manner. Others come across as bitter. I couldn't guess why they might feel that way, or why they write in such a way as to come across like that.

 

[sookie]

Then what is is telling her? Do you throw a party every time you tell a friend you support them? Gee your out of work I want to help you and buy your kid Tennis shoes but lets have a party for me to do it?

You can tell her you support her by taking her to the Dr's or sending her a note. Offering to babysit, Do you have to celebrate? Do you have to have a party to do all this? Actually the money for the party should go to paying for the DR or for the Diapers. You want to truly support her.

By throwing a party for HER, again the baby doesn't care, you are telling her what she did is special and wonderful and great.

In the scheme of all the crap teen mothers go through, do you think a 2 hour baby shower is going to change much? Really Hannathy? Be realistic. Do you really think the people in the room think that "what she did" is special, wonderful, and great? Because honestly, she probably isn't doing anything different from what her peers are doing. She just got pregnant. And they didn't. Let's punish the one that happened to get knocked up! And when are we going to start talking about the boy?!

And if you think teens are that impressionable, I am really scared for America's youth. If 2 hours is going to make those teens at the party run out and take off their pants and lift up their skirts, that is sad.

By the way, I'm pretty sure that those 15-year-olds are not going to be bringing out the benjamins at this party. I don't think cribs, strollers, or deluxe baby clothes will be bought. A few rattles and baby clothes from Wal-Mart might show up, but that will be about it. These are 15-year-olds who can't even work. This is a 15-year-old child who is giving up her freedom to have a baby instead of giving it away or aborting it.

Young mothers receive enough judgement as it is. This is 2 hours where she might feel a tiny bit of joy and maybe a little happiness. And people like you want to smash that up and shove that in her face. It's a 15-year-old child for crying out loud! You should understand, as an adult with some knowledge of this world, what this kid is going to go through. What kind of world is this that grown women like yourself think like this?

 

[Ceila]

In the scheme of all the crap teen mothers go through, do you think a 2 hour baby shower is going to change much? Really Hannathy? Be realistic. Do you really think the people in the room think that "what she did" is special, wonderful, and great? Because honestly, she probably isn't doing anything different from what her peers are doing. She just got pregnant. And they didn't. Let's punish the one that happened to get knocked up! And when are we going to start talking about the boy?!

And if you think teens are that impressionable, I am really scared for America's youth. If 2 hours is going to make those teens at the party run out and take off their pants and lift up their skirts, that is sad.

By the way, I'm pretty sure that those 15-year-olds are not going to be bringing out the benjamins at this party. I don't think cribs, strollers, or deluxe baby clothes will be bought. A few rattles and baby clothes from Wal-Mart might show up, but that will be about it. These are 15-year-olds who can't even work. This is a 15-year-old child who is giving up her freedom to have a baby instead of giving it away or aborting it.

Young mothers receive enough judgement as it is. This is 2 hours where she might feel a tiny bit of joy and maybe a little happiness. And people like you want to smash that up and shove that in her face. It's a 15-year-old child for crying out loud! You should understand, as an adult with some knowledge of this world, what this kid is going to go through. What kind of world is this that grown women like yourself think like this?

 

[LSmith]

In the scheme of all the crap teen mothers go through, do you think a 2 hour baby shower is going to change much? Really Hannathy? Be realistic. Do you really think the people in the room think that "what she did" is special, wonderful, and great? Because honestly, she probably isn't doing anything different from what her peers are doing. She just got pregnant. And they didn't. Let's punish the one that happened to get knocked up! And when are we going to start talking about the boy?!

And if you think teens are that impressionable, I am really scared for America's youth. If 2 hours is going to make those teens at the party run out and take off their pants and lift up their skirts, that is sad.

By the way, I'm pretty sure that those 15-year-olds are not going to be bringing out the benjamins at this party. I don't think cribs, strollers, or deluxe baby clothes will be bought. A few rattles and baby clothes from Wal-Mart might show up, but that will be about it. These are 15-year-olds who can't even work. This is a 15-year-old child who is giving up her freedom to have a baby instead of giving it away or aborting it.

Young mothers receive enough judgement as it is. This is 2 hours where she might feel a tiny bit of joy and maybe a little happiness. And people like you want to smash that up and shove that in her face. It's a 15-year-old child for crying out loud! You should understand, as an adult with some knowledge of this world, what this kid is going to go through. What kind of world is this that grown women like yourself think like this?

Awesome.

 

[cjbcam]

The baby does not know or care if it's being celebrated.

Actually studies show when the mom is under stress it is bad on the baby. I would say all these people judging her and shaming her would make mom stressed out. If she has lots of love and support, like having a shower, would take a little stress off of her.

 

[Chelley00]

This thread makes me so sad. I was a teen mother and I'm so glad that our friends and relatives looked beyond an obvious mistake I made and decided to celebrate my son's birth with me. I had quite of few of my friends at my baby shower and not one of them became a teen mom. Heck, one is just getting ready to have her first baby and we are all almost 40.

The baby shower may have been cute and the baby even cuter, but they also so me throwing up so much I was hospitalized, saw me gain 73 lbs, saw me trying to stand up in the hospital after getting 53 stitches after giving birth. They knew my sleepless nights and our lack of money. They were out partying and going to college while I was changing diapers. I'm pretty sure my baby shower and the stuff that happened didn't glamourize getting pregnant at all!

I always wonder how many people who condemn teen mothers were having sex when they were teens, they were just lucky enough not to get caught?

 

[pigletgirl]

Hi new baby! You have a teen mother so you don't deserve to be celebrated. Sorry

This is what a lot of people are basically saying. I feel sad and this is exactly why the statistics are what they are.

So, you think the odds are stacked against children of teenage mothers because they are not celebrated before they're born?

Babies don't care about showers. You know what they care about?

1. A mother who can provide a safe home environment.
2. A mother who will get up with them during the night to feed (or anything else) them without complaint.
3. A mother who is willing to set her own needs aside to care for her baby.
4. A mother who can financially support them.