So...what do your sorta step-grandchildren call you?

[ebradley23]

I had a step-grandma. I have always called her by her first name. No clue why I never created a nickname for her - especially since she was married to my PaPaw (the grandfather I was closest to and spent a lot of time with). They were married before I was born too, so their marriage was al I ever knew.

My son has one step-grandparent. He is Dutch, and tried to get my son to call him Opa. We're not Dutch, so I didn't really like that nickname. To be real honest, I wasn't sure how long this marriage would last for my MIL (this is the 4th husband I've known). They got married while I was pregnant, and I was probably making overly hormonal decisions about the nickname. My MIL wanted to be called Granny, and I finally succumbed to my son calling her husband a nickname. He's Grampy. It took about 2 years for me to concede the nickname though. I would definitely let the child's mom make the decision, because it could be a big deal to her.

 

[Wendy31]

I know a couple of different women who are like grandmothers to different children, & they are both called "Yaya" - one of the ladies is actually a step-grandmother to 5 children & the other lady is, while not related to the child, the grandmother figure in his life.

 

[skuttle]

My kids call my dad's girlfriend "Miss first name." My dad and his girlfriend are not married, but have been together for many years.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

DS' girlfriend has a toddler. She's an adorable little girl. My son is like a father to her. At the moment, she refers to us Son's mommy & daddy. We don't have any bio grands yet so there was presedent. So...what
do your sorta step-grands call you?

If I had any stepgrandkids, I would ask they call me the same thing as my biograndkids. In our family, step is a useless word....family is family. My 2nd oldest called my 1st oldest's grandfather (FormerFIL) Pawpaw, just like her sister did, when we'd meet up with him. He encouraged it, and treated them the same when they were together with him (he even bought DD#2 gifts at Christmas and her birthday; he was the only decent one in that whole family). I was "discouraged" from attending his funeral (my ex sent his friend to let me know that if I showed up, I was to be removed from the service, by ruling of FoMIL (who was divorced from FoFIL at the time) and ExH; so DD#2, DD#1, DH (who had always been treated decently by him, and welcomed into his home) and I had a private goodbye to him at a lake.

I would hope, also, that if the relationship between the parents went south, that would still allow the kids to be part of our family, as long as the kids needed/wanted. It's not their fault they are stuck in the middle of adult problems, and to have people in and out of their lives is not fair to them.

 

[Hikergirl]

My kid's call their step-grandmother "grandma". She is the only grandmother they have.

 

[tbaptista]

My mom and step-father got married when I was about 5 so he pretty much raised me. I call him by his first name but his parents are Grandma and Grandpa to me and my step-father is Grandpa to my children.

 

[Minnesota!]

Not me, but my brother has 4 soon-to-be stepchildren. They call my mom Grandma. Can't have too many grandma's They do call her Grandma "First Name", to distinguish her from their Grandma Lori and Grandma whatever the other one is.

 

[fly girl]

My parents divorced when my sister and I were adults.

My mom remarried in 2005. My sisters kids were already born and knew Nana separate from her new husband. They call him by his first name.

Since my child didn't arrive until after they were married for several years, she refers to him as Grandpa.

IMHO the best thing is that the child gets more love no matter what name is used!

 

[PollyannaMom]

My mom passed away when I was an adult, but a few years before DS was born. My Dad is with someone now whom I really adore, but I never know if it's appropriate to introduce her as my "step-mom," as they're not actually married. DS just calls her "Nana" (and we refer to my late mom as "Grandma Firstname"). He has a different nickname for his grandmother on DH's side.

 

[DopeyDame]

DH's dad is currently dating a very nice woman. I know for sure that he wants my kids to call her Grandmom. I'm totally not comfortable with that, and always refer to her as FirstName with the kids.
It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with FiL. The current girlfriend is oh-so-serious-girlfriend #4 since DH and I started dating. I have no reason at all to believe that she'll be around more than a few years. And I'd hate for the kids to think of her as a grandmom who then just disappears from their lives. (For whatever it's worth, my kids are adopted, so the concept of "forever family" is something we work really hard to instill. I think that might be part of my hesitation.)

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I want to add: DH is not DD#1's father. She calls him by his first name, which is fine with him.

He did ask if her children (she's expecting in July) can call him Grandpop or Pops, just like DD#2's child will (when he's able to talk). She was good with that, and told him "you can never have too many grandparents." SoIL's parents will be grandpa/grandma, and we are Grandpop-Pops/Mimi. She said she doesn't care what her father calls himself, as he won't be meeting her children. (a very long and messy story) DD#2's ILs are Cambodian and are using their language's words for grandma/grandpa.

i grew up with 3 sets of grandparents (my father's parents, and then my mother's, who had divorced and remarried long before I was born). I wish I had more time with them, learned more about them.

 

[Arielle22]

My brother married a woman with daughters 5 and 7. Our parents are deceased but the girls call all my siblings and spouses their aunts and uncles, the same as the children related by blood do. All the nieces and nephews call the aunts and uncles by their first names.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

DS' girlfriend has a toddler. She's an adorable little girl. My son is like a father to her. At the moment, she refers to us Son's mommy & daddy. We don't have any bio grands yet so there was presedent. So...what
do your sorta step-grands call you?

I think she will figure it out on her own, and it will probably be something adorable and completely comfortable for her.

My kids started calling my step-MIL Nana because my neice did. So they are Papa and Nana. I still call them by their names, even to my kids.

What my kids call their grandparents:

Grandma with Chris
Grandpa with Joanne
Papa and Nana
Grandma-ma
Grandma Zwisky (they could never figure out how to say her real last name LOL)

Since my parents divorced and I gained stepgrandparents when I was 12, I just tried not to address them by name at all. To my mother, I would just say "so and so's dad/mom" when talking about her husband's parents.

 

[peachiepie]

My grandad remarried when I was about 8 and I've always called his wife by his first name.

 

[aprilchem]

My father is dead and my mother has a boyfriend who she has been dating of about 7 years. My kids call him Mr. John; John is his first name.

 

[barkley]

No experience, but I'd tinker around with a fun twist on your names that the child can call you. If the relationship sticks, the names probably will too and that's great. In our extended family we have a bio grandma who is Anna to a bunch of grand and great-grandchildren because grandchild number one misspoke grandma at the beginning and it stuck.

If the relationship sputters out over time the kid's not left thinking Grandma Susie and Grandpa Bob are gone, along with the significant baggage those titles can carry. She may miss Suza and Bobbo one day, but if you never were officially presented as "grandparents" I think it's easier to cast off somehow. It may sting emotionally still, but I think there's something to suddenly being cut off from people you called Grandma and Grandpa.

I agree with this.

I had a couple of single female parent friends when I was younger-every guy they dated for more than a week they had their kids calling his siblings auntie/uncle, parents-some form of grandma/pa...it got so freaking confusing for the kids b/c as far as they were concerned b/c the adults were telling them to call people by these titles then they assumed they held the same place in their lives as their actual aunts/uncles/grands...

I don't recall one situation wherein the relationships between the adults/kids lasted after the moms broke up with the guys, and sadly when their moms did get into long term relationships the kids had been burned enough times that they were really resistant to forming new auntie/uncle/grand relationships (for the most part they ended up calling these people by their first names).

 

[Kogo Shuko]

My boyfriend's son calls my parents "Lynne's Mom" and "Lynne's Dad". He also calls my brother "Lynne's brother" but probably because he's not good with names.

 

[sdjen]

This has come up on our family recently. My younger brother had his new girlfriend and her 5 year old son move in with him. He shares custody of his 5 and 8 year olds with his ex so they are only there half time but the girlfriends son is there full time as his dad is 5 hours away. My parents have stepped up and helped with afterschool care and other babysitting with all 3 kids (plus my 10 year old). The new kid (not technically a step kid since they aren't married) pretty quickly started calling my mom and dad grandpa and grandma. They weren't super comfortable with it but thought it was more natural than calling them by their first names. Everyone has kind of gotten used to it but my daughter really didn't like it. She was like - they ARENT grandma and grandpa yet so he shouldn't call them that! But we talked about it and she is getting used to it a bit more. We are hoping that they will eventually get married but they have some issues so we shall see. I thought he was dumb to move a girl and kid in that he had only been seeing for 6 months but live and learn. If they do break up, I feel sorry for the kids!

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I already told DW and stepdaughters that if and when they have kids, I want to be addressed as "Grandfather First Name" or "Mr. Last Name." They scoff, but as of now, I'm serious.

DW wants grandkids like, TODAY. I'm hoping it won't happen for at least 5 more years. StepDs' father feels the same as me. StepDs are 30 and 26.

 

[VandVsmama]

In my opinion, you should take your cues from the child's parents. So if you need clarification on what the child should/should not call you, ask the child's mom in this case. Sometimes who gets called Grandma/Grandpa (or any variation of that) can be a big deal to the child's parents.