So upset...DS doesn't want us to (prom related) UPDATE PAGE 4

[Mouse House Mama]

While I still think you should go I have to wonder if he won't feel really stupid when his parents are the only ones show don't show up?

 

[MAKmom]

Thanks for all the replies. It's interesting to see everyone's take on the subject--all different, but true in their own way.

DD19 must have gone to at least 5-6 proms when she was in high school. For every single one, they came here for pictures; even for the ones that weren't HER prom. The parents almost always came, too. I can only think of one instance where her date's parents didn't come.

corie161: No, they don't do a Grand March at our high school. I never heard of it before reading about it here on the DIS. I kinda wish they did now.

I agree with the poster who mentioned the fact that it was a bit disrespectful, in a sense, not to allow us to take pics. It's really not that big of a deal, for God's sake, and EVERYONE does it. I'm not asking him to do anything out of the ordinary. If he feels THAT strongly about it (which for some odd reason he seems to), I'm not going to force the issue. I'll discuss it with him again and let him know that it's important to us.

I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks again for all your support. It helps to know there are other teens doing similar things.

Your not going to show up in PINK Crocs with a Disney shirt on are you

 

[fan_of_small_world]

Your not going to show up in PINK Crocs with a Disney shirt on are you

Ooh, and to really embarass him, OP could bring the digital camera, the 35mm, the camcorder, a disposable just in case the other doesn't work, ask for about 25 different poses, and Mom should do that awful lick-your-finger-and-wipe-a-spot-off-his-cheek-thing and then start sobbing that her little boy is all gorwn up!

(OP - not teasing you here at all, just poking fun at the agony that teens seem to go through thanks to their loving parents, lol!)

 

[Beth76]

I also respectfully disagree with the statement that "the 17yo is acting like a 17yo". His being 17 is not a license to excuse how he reacts to his parents. I think he's turning this into a much bigger deal than it should be. This is a pretty small thing to do if it makes your mother happy.

I do agree that he's making a bid deal out of this and he's being rude to the OP. But he's also at the age where he's able to make some of his own decisions--descisions that he may regret. And he needs to learn to deal with that. Not be reprimanded and told what to do always. Yes I understand there are some things that a 17yos parents should still control, but I don't feel that this is one of them.

While I still think you should go I have to wonder if he won't feel really stupid when his parents are the only ones show don't show up?

Well that's life. At some point we have to let our kids make their mistakes and deal with them. Even if "we know better".

 

[6TimeMomma]

take pictures of he and his date before the prom Let me provide a little background and maybe someone could she some light on this, because I truly don't understand where he's coming from.

OK--DS is 17 and this is his junior prom. He's been saying that he was going to prom, but I never heard anything definite. Well, a few weeks ago he starts to "go out" with a girl that goes to the high school across town and is a sophomore. He never actually tells us this, but DD knows and share with us. The night before the last day to buy prom tickets, they break up (again DD tells us this) and he agrees to go with a "friend" (who is a girl). He doesn't tell me any of this but instead asks for $ the next morning for his ticket and tells me he's going as friends with someone. We go pick out the tux, yada, yada, yada and I ask if he's going to bring her here to take pics. He says no, but I think he's semi-kidding and will come around. So tonight the girl's mom calls and invites us to another girl's home for group pics, etc. I tell DS this and he says he absolutely does not want us to go and I know he's not kidding. I try to ask him why and he just keeps saying because he doesn't want us to. I don't know if he's embarrassed of us or embarrassed of her (he declined a previous invitation from her to a different dance last year) or what it is. All I know is I want pics of my baby going to prom. DH thinks we should just respect his wishes (though we may not even have a choice) and not make a big deal of it.

Though I highly doubt it, has anyone else had this experience with their kids? DD LOVED this kind of stuff and ours was always the house all the kids gathered at.

Now, Me I would just flat out tell him I WAS going to be taking pictures whether they were going just as friends or not.

 

[horseshowmom]

I do agree that he's making a bid deal out of this and he's being rude to the OP. But he's also at the age where he's able to make some of his own decisions--descisions that he may regret. And he needs to learn to deal with that. Not be reprimanded and told what to do always. Yes I understand there are some things that a 17yos parents should still control, but I don't feel that this is one of them.

I honestly understand what you're saying. I just don't think this is only about him. His decision is hurting someone else. I also don't think it's an issue about what his parents control. To me, it's a matter of respect and having some concern for his parent's feelings. You'd think that was the least he could do. That's just my opinion, but I understand that we just don't see it the same way.

 

[Snoopymom]

You could always threaten to crash the actual prom...my mom and my friend's mom did. It turned out to be a blast. My mom brought my 4 year old little sister and everyone danced with her she was so cute. We were seniors and all planning to get the heck out of the economical disaster of an area we lived in so no one cared about images or reputations anymore, and yes, the pictures are priceless, especially since I ended up married to my date.

 

[TimeforMe]

Ooh, and to really embarass him, OP could bring the digital camera, the 35mm, the camcorder, a disposable just in case the other doesn't work, ask for about 25 different poses, and Mom should do that awful lick-your-finger-and-wipe-a-spot-off-his-cheek-thing and then start sobbing that her little boy is all gorwn up!

I love it!!!! That would truly push him over the edge.

We are a big italian family and whenever my dd went to a prom, my niece and her whole family would come over. On her senior prom, they came over plus my dbil, dsil and best friend. I told him we were taking the whole entourage over to the girl's house for pictures. Hey, maybe that's why he doesn't want us to come.

 

[MAKmom]

This is the time his father should step in & pull him aside. He should tell your son the truth." This is important to your mother & she is very hurt you do not want her there with all the other parents" "Your being inconsiderate of her feelings & she does not deserve to be treated this way after everything she has done for you."

 

[OK!]

I'm in agreement with those who say to respect his wishes...it could well be that he doesn't want this to seem like a "date" date, and a big deal with pics, etc., might elevate it to that status in his mind (or possibly hers), KWIM? Just make sure the host parents know that you'd like pics and let them take a few extras for you. I probably wouldn't even go as far as insisting he take your camera; just offer to pay for copies from the other parents.

Hope it all goes well!

 

[TimeforMe]

UPDATE DH took DS to pick up his tux the other night and talked to him about how this is a milestone of sorts in his life and it was important for us to be able to take pictures of him. He also explained that ALL the other parents were doing the same so it wouldn't be "conspicuous" at all. DS agreed that it would be "fine".

So fast forward to last night and Prom....he looked so handsome in his white tux--the only one wearing white. But it sure made him stand out. He loves being different. There were about 15 couples so you figure 2 parents for each kid, so there was close to 100 people in this house. She had a big, gorgeous home and it was really gracious of her to invite all of us. The weather was lousy but we were able to get a few outside shots. If I can figure out how to post a pic, I will.

Thanks for all your replies and advice--it all turned out great!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Good for you! I am glad you were able to share this special event.

 

[OK!]

Glad to hear everything worked out so well for everybody!

 

[MAKmom]

If you use photo bucket it is really easy to post pictures you just cut & paste the code

http://photobucket.com/

 

[fan_of_small_world]

So glad you went and got to see your son and the other prom-goers! Can't wait to see some pics if you can (and like MAKmom said, Photo Bucket is REALLY easy!).

 

[nhrenee]

Glad you got the pictures!

 

[luv2nascar]

glad to hear it all worked out

 

[epcotfan]

Respect his wishes. Get pictures from the other moms later. No need to upset him before the dance and ruin his night.

I agree.


...Whoops...read OP's last post. Glad it worked out.

 

[CanadianGuy]

I love happy endings..

Knox

 

[bookgirl]

If you paid for the tickets then you get to take pictures and if not then he owes you money.