SO - Spouse has opposite sex friends on Facebook

[Gumbo4x4]

I only friend people I've seen naked as that's my wife's policy re my FB account. I think it's a good policy, and so my friends list is only a few hundred. But, no tennis players.

 

[Buckalew11]

My DH is totally fine with me having male friends on FB. However, he forbids me to have any female friends. He is well aware of the growing crisis we face as a nation where straight women suddenly run off to be with other straight woman. In addition, he forbids me to ever play tennis with other woman. Don't even get me started on how common it is around here for the tennis woman to suddenly start having affairs with each other. In turn, I forbid him to have male friends on FB. Other woman are fine, but no way is he going to be friends with other men. We all know how dangerous that can be.

Lisa.

I do not know why I keep thinking this tennis player comment is so amusing--I AM a female tennis player! Nice to know if I ever decide to play for the other team that someone in the round robin will be ultra friendly to me!


I have FB friends of both sexes. I am not, on purpose, friends with an EX BF. The relationship between us is fine, he's a nice guy, but we were together for 4 years. I do not think it'd be smart to go there.
I am friends with my sister's EX BF. So is she and her DH.

I think it "just depends" on different circumstances. I doubt my DH would care if I friended the ex bf on FB but I care.

 

[LisaR]

I only friend people I've seen naked as that's my wife's policy re my FB account. I think it's a good policy, and so my friends list is only a few hundred. But, no tennis players.

That is a good policy!

Lisa.

I do not know why I keep thinking this tennis player comment is so amusing--I AM a female tennis player! Nice to know if I ever decide to play for the other team that someone in the round robin will be ultra friendly to me!


I have FB friends of both sexes. I am not, on purpose, friends with an EX BF. The relationship between us is fine, he's a nice guy, but we were together for 4 years. I do not think it'd be smart to go there.
I am friends with my sister's EX BF. So is she and her DH.

I think it "just depends" on different circumstances. I doubt my DH would care if I friended the ex bf on FB but I care.

You're a tennis player? And a female? I'm sorry, but we are going to have to stop communicating on the Dis. I know your type! You are just waiting to lure me in, aren't you?

 

[LongLiveDisney]

I only friend people I've seen naked as that's my wife's policy re my FB account. I think it's a good policy, and so my friends list is only a few hundred. But, no tennis players.

You've seen a FEW HUNDRED people naked?!

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

I've got friends of both genders, from all over the world on my Facebook page. My husband doesn't have as many.

I've met and spent time with friends that I met on the internet-both genders. He's fine with it. And if he ever wanted to go meet someone he only knew on the internet, I'd be fine with it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think if you're that concerned about your husband and his interactions with the opposite sex, then you probably shouldn't have married him. I think if your DH is that concerned about you and your interactions with the opposite sex, then he probably shouldn't have married you.

 

[Candleinthewind]

I think if you're that concerned about your husband and his interactions with the opposite sex, then you probably shouldn't have married him.

I agree with this 100%

 

[goofyintoronto]

I think if you're that concerned about your husband and his interactions with the opposite sex, then you probably shouldn't have married him.

Excellent point. If you have an issue with who your husband/wife is friends with on facebook, then you clearly have major trust issues. In that case, i'd get help. Couples therapy perhaps?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

You've seen a FEW HUNDRED people naked?!

Those are just the ones I friended on FB

 

[TagsMissy]

Wow, another thread by OP on opposite sex friendships.

I too was wondering the infatuation on the subject. You trust your husband or you don't. If you don't then you have some major issues you need to work out as a couple otherwise what's the issue? This is truly baffling me.

 

[bdcp]

I too was wondering the infatuation on the subject. You trust your husband or you don't. If you don't then you have some major issues you need to work out as a couple otherwise what's the issue? This is truly baffling me.

OP is the guy. He's a stay at home dad. He's infatuated with the subject for some unknown reason. He pretty much never addressed that.

DH and I both have FB friends of both sexes. No big deal. DH even has his ex-gf from HS and first two years of college as a friend. I met him his sr year. I have friends from college and HS as well as current friends. We've both been out of HS/college for 30+ years.

People who have affairs with old flames through reconnected through FB are just using FB as an excuse. FB friends do not equal spending time alone with a person. Bad choices lead to affairs.

 

[njcarita]

no we both have friends of both sexes............. but we also have eachothers passwords for our facebook accounts....... email accounts etc............ we always have....so i really dont care if hes on my facebook or hes on mine...there are no secrets that i know of ....... if a spouse wants to cheat there are more ways than just facebook...........

 

[gracie1]

I am friends with males, females, lesbians, gays, one bi, and two people who choose not to state and keep people guessing.

My husband has no problem with any of the above.

This is me too!! I actually have very few female friends. And I am friends with all my exes and still talk to them. I think as long as you have trust in your so or spouse then there's nothing to worry about.

 

[Candleinthewind]

This is me too!! I actually have very few female friends. And I am friends with all my exes and still talk to them. I think as long as you have trust in your so or spouse then there's nothing to worry about.

Well several in the other thread said they would not be comfortable with their spouse spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex when they were not around. My friend's spouse Friday told me about the divorce and Facebook stat. So I started a new thread. I figured those who were against alone time would also have an issue with their spouse also having a friend of the opposite sex on FB.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Well several in the other thread said they would not be comfortable with their spouse spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex when they were not around. My friend's spouse Friday told me about the divorce and Facebook stat. So I started a new thread. I figured those who were against alone time would also have an issue with their spouse also having a friend of the opposite sex on FB.

Turn it around, and you probably have something

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I trust my husband, it's never been an issue. I am not sure he entirely trusts me because he is kind of weird about that stuff. I think because I'm quite a bit younger, he thinks I'm gonna run off w/somebody my own age.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Candle, I'm not sure why you are so obsessed with this topic, but I don't think you will find that those who saw relationships differently than you on your OTHER thread will disagree with you here.

I can't think of a single person, married or single, who is only friends with people of their same gender.

If my husband was calling up his favorite female Facebook buddy to go to Costco together every weekend and get breakfast and lunch together at their "favorite" restaurant, maybe I'd have an issue. But female high school, childhood, college and work friends? Who cares. Oh! But wait, you gave the warning that its the same sex friends I really need to be watching out for....

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I can't think of a single person, married or single, who is only friends with people of their same gender.

Some of my male friends aren't on FB, so they had their wives send me friend requests to keep in touch - and in many cases, I've never even met the wife

 

[Buckalew11]

Candle, I'm not sure why you are so obsessed with this topic, but I don't think you will find that those who saw relationships differently than you on your OTHER thread will disagree with you here.

I can't think of a single person, married or single, who is only friends with people of their same gender.

If my husband was calling up his favorite female Facebook buddy to go to Costco together every weekend and get breakfast and lunch together at their "favorite" restaurant, maybe I'd have an issue. But female high school, childhood, college and work friends? Who cares. Oh! But wait, you gave the warning that its the same sex friends I really need to be watching out for....

bolding mine...

Specifically the female tennis players like me! LisaR is already not longer speaking to me. Let's hope the Tag Fairy doesn't permanently brand me! Be afraid, very afraid.

 

[stargazer2892]

Dh has plenty of friends of the opposite sex. My best friend is a guy. If we didn't completely trust each other we wouldn't have gotten married.