So mad

[pklein09]

I think your heart was in the right place. If I was in your shoes, I'd have a real issue with the co-leader announcing to the parents at the meeting that the trip was cancelled without speaking to you about it first. I don't know much about Girl Scouts but shouldn't co-leaders have an equal say?

I agree with this poster. I think it was a neat idea, and it should have been openly discussed with the girls and the parents so everyone knew the details. The unilateral decision of your co-leader to cancel the trip with no open discussion (and apparetnly no discussion with you) is, in my opinion, wrong. Plain and simple. I'd be more angry with her than the parents who didn't want to go.

It seems to me that she's undermining you as a leader, not only in this instance, but in every decision you make as a troop leader. I would try and have a talk with your co-leader, and if need be, replace her. She's no co-leader in my book.


DH is a Den Leader for DS8 Wolf Scout troop. I know the amount of work
that goes into running something like this. Keep up the good work!

 

[wishspirit]

You had your heart in the right place honey! None of my girl guide leaders would of attempted something like that (but we are in the UK )

I don't really understand the whole 'not wanting your kids to go away without you' thing at the age of 11/12. In the UK every child goes away on a residential week with the school (if they can't afford it, the government helps pay) in year 6 (so age 10-11). No parents object, in fact most treasure the week they have off! I know when my sister went, i got some great time just with my parents on my own (till she got sick and had to come home.)

If your girl guides were younger, then maybe I'd understand, but I think kids need a bit of supervised independance! This is not to criticise anyone who feels they can't let their child go away, I am sure you have your reasons. I personally think my mother would love me to go away for a week (even outside the country, I went to France for a week with my secondary school age 12-13), she liked the peace and quiet!

 

[mainegal]

They are only brownies now, so they haven't begun to make too many decisions in the troop yet.

Girl Scouts are all about progression. As they get older, they do more planning, fund raising and trips get longer and further away. Brownie Girl Scouts take day trips close to home. Junior Girls Scouts go away for long weekends. Not until older levels do they plan, earn money for and take week long trips.

Read the Girl Scout publication Safety-Wise, every leader should have it. "Topics include activity planning and progression, the girl/adult partnership process, and group budget planning."

I find it ironic that the parents in my troop who have more money and have been to Disney recently or have trips planned in the near future are the ones objecting. And the parents who have less money and plan on never being able to go are the ones in support.

Could be that the parents with WDW experience know about the level of planning involved understand that such a trip is not appropriate for the age level. They also have the personal experience of that sort of "family vacation".

I understand you want to share the "Disney Magic" with the young girls. But don't rush them through the great Girl Scout experience. Have fun with age appropriate activities. Read the Brownie Handbook for ideas.

to you, your co-leaders and the Brownies in your care.

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

Again as they say no good deed goes unpunished. I understand where it is coming from. Believe me I love Disney and would want my child to go. However there is no way I would let my child go without me. Call me over protective but I would not be comfortable letting my child go on any vacation that long out of state without me. Could this maybe be where they are coming from? Maybe seperate yourself from the situation. I doubt they were trying to be hurtful. If I were telling you no that would be my reasoning as a parent. I hope this works out some way. Can just some girls go and not others. Dont they have a choice? When my child gets a permission slip it says yes they will go either with a parent, without a parent, or they wont be attending. I have to choose one of the three check boxes. Good Luck.

Edit to add**
I guess I always have in the back of my mind. Look what happened with Natalie Halloway and she was much older than a girl scout. All the recent abductions in Florida. No way would I take that chance.

 

[redrosesix]

I honestly think you are great for wanting to do that for the girls but honestly as a parent I would not want my dd going. I think WDW is defiantely a family experience, especially if its the first time there, but even if its the 20th time there. WDW is just so magical, I couldn't think of dd going without me or dh!

I agree with this poster. A lot of families would not want to miss out on the first trip to WDW. Plus, many families probably have more than 1 child and wouldn't feel it was fair to let one child go to WDW and not find a way to get the others there.

We had the same problem with our twirling group -- families that could not take everyone opted not to go for the competition in May, even though it meant that their daughter missed out on the competition and WDW.

And I probably wouldn't let my DD go with any group for a week at WDW without me until she's at least 15. I'm thinking the response would be very different if it was a week somewhere else, and a more contained environment. And obviously, making the commitment to do this trip in 3-4 years would mean that nothing else could be done in those years. Will every family still be involved in the group that long from now? Would they really be ok with not doing day trips and short camping trips for that length of time?

 

[crazydisneyman]

I respect everyone's thoughts on this issue.

I have an idea for you.

If your goals is to motivate girls in this troop to stay in scouts, then go about it this way:

Offer this up as a reward for accomplishment.

Make this a voluntary event that any of the girls may participate in, but insist that not everyone needs to go.

I am an Eagle Scout, and my troop used to take 2-3 weeks trips out west and out east (I'm from Indiana) and we raised the money ourselves. We were a group of about 15 kids with 8 adults as chaparones. We saw the most amazing National Parks (Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Glacier National Park, Mesa Verde, Niagra Falls, Rocky Mountains, Black Hills, Newfoundland, etc) I would not have traded that for anything. My parents never went with us. As a parent I can understand some hesitation, but it escapes me that there was so much resistance.

My final point, if they don't want to go, then that's fine. They shouldn't go. No one can tell you who you can and cannot invite. Invitations are just that, invitations. The other girls sounded excited. The same thing happens in life, when you want to do something nice, the minute you ask if it's okay, someone complains. Just do it! No good deed goes unpunished. We all know that. I support you, and I commend you for the idea.

 

[karibritt01]

I am also a Brownie leader. That trip would be too much for us to bite off at this time, but we are in NC making travel that far a huge undertaking. We opted to use our cookie money this year to go to Tweetsie Railroad (a small private park in NC mountains) for the weekend. We have rented a house in the mountains for the troop for the weekend. For the parents that want to come, we have provided a list of local hotels. We told them that the girls are to eat and sleep as a group, but they can go in family groups to tour the park. This allows us to take the trip we want, and give the girls some freedom, but lets the parents enjoy the experience as a family. It also takes the burden of chaperoning 12 girls at a theme park off of us just a bit.

I am sorry that you had that experience with your co-leader. You need to talk to her about the way she blindsided you, and made a unilateral decision. If she can't understand why her actions were wrong, then you need to find either another leader or another troop. You will be spending way too much time with her over the next many years. If you can't trust her to respect you, then the relationship will be way too stressful. One of my co-leaders last year didn't agree with me or the other leader on many things. She decided to move to a troop she had more in common with... and we are all happier for it. Being together, but not agreeing on how things should run, was hard on all of us.

But the GS have a rule that the money has to be shared by everyone in the troop. So you cannot just take a few of the girls.

Actually, you can plan the trip for the troop, and set the funds to be used for it. It is at the parents discretion if they choose to allow their child to participate. You will very rarely have ANY event where all girls participate, and can not save all funds for that rare occasion.

 

[rtobe]

All good ideas Let me add a little different perspective. I too have been both a girl scout - Brownies all the way through Seniors. Been a troop leader - Seniors and Cadettes as well as various other volunteer positions.

In high school my troop went on trips that took fund raising and years to plan. We went to Wyoming to a Girl Scout National Center (since closed). Almost half of my Senior troop participated in some sort of national event (wider opportunity) and traveled someplace alone.

As a Senior leader I accompanied another Senior troop to Disney World - they wanted to go, raised money and they went. Yes, Safety Wise was followed but this trip was planned by girls in 9th - 12th grade not beginning in second grade for possible execution in 5th grade.

Another friend who was a Senior troop advisor accompanied her troop to Europe where they stayed in Switzerland at Our Chalet.

Your ideas are not wrong - maybe just a little too soon for Brownies.

 

[Commando2319]

I just wanted to finish off this post saying thank you to everyone that responded. I truly appreciate everyone's feedback and perspective.

I understand that everyone has different comfort levels in having their kids away from home. I know for myself, I'd have no problem sending my 7 year old to an YMCA overnight camp for a week. I would even let my 7 year old go to Disney for a week, even if I was not there (assuming it was with a group or people that I trust.) But I too have my limits and wouldn't let my daughters go certain places at even when they are as old as 17. (like Aruba or Mexico)

Although, I don't think I will ever understand the perspective of Disney as a "family only" destination. Yes, Disney is a wonderful family destination. But it is so wonderful to share with friends too. Maybe I will just never understand this because I am not the type of person who thinks of anything as family only. I enjoy friends over for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthdays. But I do respect that some people feel this way and do not feel comfortable going there with non-family.

In the end, I made the mistake. I assumed incorrectly that the parents of the girls in my Troop would be as excited by the idea of a trip to Disney as I was. It turns out they weren't. And it has nothing to do with the details as we never had the chance discussed any of the details. These parents didn't like the mere idea, regardless of whether the Troop paid for it all or not. And regardless of how old the girls were at the time or not. And regardless of how many chaperons went along or not. And it was my mistaken assumption that has caused this problem and this rift in the troop.

The only thing that really upsets me about this is the actions of my co-leader. I feel really stabbed-in-the-back by her by announcing we canceled it without discussing it with me. And I feel really angry that she wouldn't tell me which parents were objecting so that we could discuss the idea as leaders based on the number of parents objecting. Or even have a real discussion on the topic at all.

But maybe she only did this because she felt that I pushed this idea on the Troop. And maybe she felt that I wouldn't even consider any objections. If that is true, that is really the most sad part about this. That we as Girl Scout Leaders are not working together and not comfortable enough to discuss things openly and work things out as adults.

Or maybe she is just a jerk and I am finding out the hard way.

Either way, things will be changing for next year. Just not sure how yet.

Thank you all for listening to me and discussing this with me.

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

It sounds like you are very level headed. I hope you can work things out with the other leader. I had my issues over the years coaching cheerleading so I can feel your pain. You should not have to put up with that kind of crap from another adult. Good Luck and thanks for updating on the situation.

 

[smphbear]

I just wanted to let you know about my Girl Scout Disney experience. We worked for a few years to get to the level and funding of our Disney trip. As a troop of juniors, we purchased tents and got experience tent camping.

The summer after I finished 8th grade, we went to Disney as Jrs. and Cadets. We traveled in personal vehicles from Louisiana. We had 4 (if I remember right) adults with us. As Cadets, we were able to go out in groups. There were certain times we had to check in with the adults (even if it meant going to the park they were in). We brought our tents and stayed at Fort Wilderness. That trip and the one we took the following summer (White Water Rafting in TN) were some major highlights of growing up and Girl Scouts for me. My friends and I still have good laughs and fond memories of that trip.

I am sorry that it went the way it did for you. I just wanted people to know that Disney is possible and exciting for Scouts.

 

[LisaNJ25]

What age were you thinking about? Cadettes or higher? At that point if a parent hasn't brought a child yet the "magic" wont be the same as is they were much younger. We have troops going to Mexico and all over the world. We are thinking about doing Savannah when my troop is in middle school.

I do think you need to have a talk with your co-leader. She should never of said that to the parents without talking to you first.