So mad

[Commando2319]

Ok. I need some perspective here.

I am a new DVC owner and excited to be. I am also the leader of my two oldest daughters Girl Scout Troop and have been for 2 years.

So naturally, I had the idea take my daughters Troop down to Disney World for a week. I thought it would be excellent way to inspire the girls to work hard selling cookies, learn about planning and saving, and a provide a once-in-a-lifetime trip to some of the girls in the troop who would otherwise never be able to make it.

Unlike I expected, this has turned into quite the controversy. Turns out several parents are not too fond of the idea. Many of them said they felt Disney was only a "Family" vacation and not appropriate for a Girl Scout Troop. Others said things like they "would never let their girl go on the trip unless they went with".

The chain of events started with the other leader telling me that several of the parents had concern about the trip. (Which was thought of being 4 to 5 years out with no set time. Depending on how long it took to raise enough money.) When I asked who objected or even how many of the parents objected, I would not get an answer. We finally had a meeting with the parents to discuss general troop issues. And my other troop leader surprised me by saying "On the whole Disney topic, some parents objected to the trip so we've decided not to do the trip".

I was completely blindside by the "decision". The meeting continued with 2 parents stating their objections and pleasure that it had been cancelled. The other 3 parents at the meeting and myself sat silent. Not feeling comfortable to discuss the matter after the way it was presented.

So now the trip is officially off and their is a quiet rift in the troop between the parents who loved the idea and the parents who didn't. And I feel backstabbed with my dreams crushed. And I feel even worse for the girls and families who will not be able to go now. I am seriously thinking of not being the Troop leader next year.

I am wondering if anyone else has had any problems like this?

Was I foolish to think that taking a Girl Scout Trip to Disney was a good idea?

Am I crazy to be so mad about this?

 

[Matt@WDWR]

Well, they are the parents and I can completely understand them making a decision. If parents were saving money to take their children to their "once of a lifetime" WDW trip, maybe they didn't want somebody else to get that special feeling. I don't think you should take it so personally. While your idea was very sweet and nice, it isn't your final decision.

 

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

As a girl scout back in the day, we went to Opryland once and in 1976, there was a HUGE Bicentennial event in Nashville that we went on too. My parents were Brownie scout leaders, so if there was any parental drama, I would have known about it. I guess things were just different back then.

Sorry that your idea got squashed. I believe that your heart was in the right place though.

 

[Bornteach]

Ugh.....You know the old saying....you can't make everyone happy all the time.....

I work in an elementary school where the favorite saying is..."No good deed goes unpunished."

<sigh>

I would suggest offering the trip to those families who wanted to go and allow those others who did not want to, not!

THey may feel they want to be the ones to take their children, they may feel like it is too extravagant....whatever they feel, it is THEIR issue, not yours. You were trying to be generous! If anything, maybe you can go sooner.

I would wait to see how you feel about not being the troop leader. Remember, you did this for your daughter and the other girls, not the parents and you do not want to punish the kids in the end.

There are people you can never please and I agree it was not handled appropriately but there are some people who have NO idea how to handle controversy. I am in the middle of a great book called Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott, I HIGHLY recommend it!

I am sorry this is happening to you but don't let the squeaky wheel get the grease! Remember why you did the whole girl scout thing in the first place....

Kristin

 

[msmayor]

I spent many years as a GS Leader, as well as holding positions on the Community Team...so I can speak with some experience.

Who brought up the trip...you, or the girls? The girls are supposed to be making the choices about the activites/trips they want to take, not any of the leaders. They earn the money, they should decide where it goes.

That being said, there may be parents who think its going to cost THEM big bucks to send their kid to WDW. Have you clearly explained that it will be up to the girls to raise ALL the funds needed on their own?

Have you expressed that no girl, regardless of the level of funds she (as an individual) has raised toward the total goal will be denied the chance to go? That a girl who sells 10 boxes of cookies every year is on equal footing with a girl who sells 500? Perhaps some parents with lesser incomes may think they will be asked to cough up money so their daughter can go, versus a girl who was able to sell a ton and 'earn' her way.

There also may be feelings that the girls will have to wait SO long to reap the rewards of their cookie money if all of it...every year...has to be put toward a trip 5 years out. Who knows where they will be 5 years from now? Those parents may be thinking that their kid will do all this fundraising and never benefit from it.

 

[lugnut33]

I think your heart was in the right place, but that's an awful big nut to crack (taking a week long Disney trip with Girl Scouts).

You should focus your money spending on doing yearly things rather than a giant one 3-4 years out because many of the girls that are there today will not be there in 3-4 years. It wouldn't be fair for a girl to work hard at selling for two years, and then her family moves and she can't go. I think unless you could raise all the money in one year, it's not a good idea.

 

[MariaEllerºoº]

I don't have any words of wisdom, but if some in the group need proof that other troops have gone to Disney I would see about getting that type of documentation. I do know the Boy Scouts hold events camping at Ft. Wilderness Campground. Maybe you could do something like that instead of spending your points at a DVC Resort?

 

[Matt@WDWR]

I also wanted to add that I think you are awfully sweet to want to do that. Your girl scouts are darn lucky to have you! My wife is a girl scout troop leader so I know how much work it entails!

 

[jcb]

Only a few years ago (bear with me as time flies when you get my age) DD's girl scout troup did a day or so at WDW and then a short RC cruise from Port Canaveral.

I never batted an eye at the idea nor did I hear any parental objection to the trip.

 

[Rellagirl]

I think your heart was in the right place. If I was in your shoes, I'd have a real issue with the co-leader announcing to the parents at the meeting that the trip was cancelled without speaking to you about it first. I don't know much about Girl Scouts but shouldn't co-leaders have an equal say?

 

[mermaid&cinderella]

I honestly think you are great for wanting to do that for the girls but honestly as a parent I would not want my dd going. I think WDW is defiantely a family experience, especially if its the first time there, but even if its the 20th time there. WDW is just so magical, I couldn't think of dd going without me or dh!

 

[WaltD4Me]

I wouldn't take it personally either. I know for 100% sure that my sister wouldn't let my niece go on a GS trip to Disney. I had a hard time convincing her to let ME take my niece to Disney a couple years ago. No way would she let her go with her GS troop. I can understand some of the objections and I can understand some feeling Disney is a family trip. I know I wouldn't let my daughter go her first time with a GS troop. Don't feel bad, your heart definitely was in the right place, but the parents views are understandable IMHO.

 

[daneenm]

I agree that your heart was in the right place. Not knowing exactly how old the girls in your troop are or where you live in relation to WDW, I will tell you that I would not want my children (12&8) going off with someone else for a week long trip that far from my home. We are having to think about this as the 8th grade Washington D.C. trip is about 18 months away for our daughter and at this point it is 'if she goes, we go' in my house.

I think what we allow our children to experience and at what age is a VERY personal decision and people should not be judged for that.

Having said that, putting my managerial hat on, it could have been handled better. You could have been told ahead of time what would be presented. In the interest of trying to promote the 'everyone belongs to the troop' I can see that if there is significant objection why the leaders might want to move it out of being a 'troop experience.' If it excludes people, that really defeats the purpose.

Just my two cents.

 

[Commando2319]

Thanks so much all for the feedback.

Who brought up the trip...you, or the girls? The girls are supposed to be making the choices about the activites/trips they want to take, not any of the leaders. They earn the money, they should decide where it goes.....Have you clearly explained that it will be up to the girls to raise ALL the funds needed on their own?

You make some excellent points. It was my idea. But obviously one that the girls instantly became very excited about. They are only brownies now, so they haven't begun to make too many decisions in the troop yet.

I don't think that I explained well enough that the girls will be raising ALL of the money. I only brought up the idea to inspire the girls. To inspire the girls to stay in girls scouts over the years. To inspire the girls to work hard selling cookies. I figured the details of planning would come later. I guess that was my fault. I just never guessed in a million years that any parent would object. Never dawned on me.

I think your heart was in the right place. If I was in your shoes, I'd have a real issue with the co-leader announcing to the parents at the meeting that the trip was cancelled without speaking to you about it first. I don't know much about Girl Scouts but shouldn't co-leaders have an equal say?

That is what is most upsetting. Feeling totally blindsided and stabbed-in-the-back by my co-leader. This is why I am considering not being a leader next year. Because I don't think I can work with someone that I do not trust. But at the same time, I don't want to force my daughters to not be in Girl Scouts because I am having problems with the other leader. So I am torn. Very torn.

I have even thought of splitting the Troop into two. Or maybe just move my girls to another troop. But I don't want to create a whole bunch of drama.

Ugh.....You know the old saying....you can't make everyone happy all the time.....

Ain't that the truth.



I find it ironic that the parents in my troop who have more money and have been to Disney recently or have trips planned in the near future are the ones objecting. And the parents who have less money and plan on never being able to go are the ones in support.

 

[ChelleinNC]

Ok. I need some perspective here.

I am a new DVC owner and excited to be. I am also the leader of my two oldest daughters Girl Scout Troop and have been for 2 years.

So naturally, I had the idea take my daughters Troop down to Disney World for a week. I thought it would be excellent way to inspire the girls to work hard selling cookies, learn about planning and saving, and a provide a once-in-a-lifetime trip to some of the girls in the troop who would otherwise never be able to make it.

Unlike I expected, this has turned into quite the controversy. Turns out several parents are not too fond of the idea. Many of them said they felt Disney was only a "Family" vacation and not appropriate for a Girl Scout Troop. Others said things like they "would never let their girl go on the trip unless they went with".

The chain of events started with the other leader telling me that several of the parents had concern about the trip. (Which was thought of being 4 to 5 years out with no set time. Depending on how long it took to raise enough money.) When I asked who objected or even how many of the parents objected, I would not get an answer. We finally had a meeting with the parents to discuss general troop issues. And my other troop leader surprised me by saying "On the whole Disney topic, some parents objected to the trip so we've decided not to do the trip".

I was completely blindside by the "decision". The meeting continued with 2 parents stating their objections and pleasure that it had been cancelled. The other 3 parents at the meeting and myself sat silent. Not feeling comfortable to discuss the matter after the way it was presented.

So now the trip is officially off and their is a quiet rift in the troop between the parents who loved the idea and the parents who didn't. And I feel backstabbed with my dreams crushed. And I feel even worse for the girls and families who will not be able to go now. I am seriously thinking of not being the Troop leader next year.

I am wondering if anyone else has had any problems like this?

Was I foolish to think that taking a Girl Scout Trip to Disney was a good idea?

Am I crazy to be so mad about this?

I was a Brownie and Junior leader for years and every year my girls wanted to use their cookie money to go to Disney World It's not uncommon for girls to take a trip like that (Disney or Savannah or river rafting in the Rockies). Fundraising for a couple of years is common, 4-5 years would be a stretch.

What age group is your troop? The younger they are, the more resistance you'll get from parents (especially if the girl is a firstborn). Parents sometimes have trouble imagining what the girls will be like and ready for in a few years.

I think your biggest/most important issue right now is the leadership of the troop. Are you co-leaders, or are you the leader and the other woman is the assistant leader? Not having been there, I don't know if your co-leader felt like you blindsided her with the Disney idea and this was her way of "getting back" at you. Unfortunately, sometimes the adults act worse than the kids The 2 of you need to figure out how to work together and not blindside each other with public "decisions".

My suggestion would be to discuss this with your co-leader privately and see where you both stand before the end of the year. Then you can decide if you want to stay with the troop or leave & start a new troop. In the fall when scouting starts back up, that would be the time to have the girls come up with ideas/plans for the year (and coming years). If a Disney trip is something they want to do, then you can offer the DVC points. Make sure to have a meeting very early in the year to talk to the parents about what the girls want to do, and how they plan to do it.

Best of luck!

 

[daneenm]

I find it ironic that the parents in my troop who have more money and have been to Disney recently or have trips planned in the near future are the ones objecting. And the parents who have less money and plan on never being able to go are the ones in support.

Well, again if it were my family, that would be because we see this as a family destination. We consider it a special opportunity for our family and would not want that 'lessened' by our child taking this extra trip without us. Perhaps the families that have not been before do not see it that way, do not think of it as 'special,' or see it as the only opportunity their child might have to go. Whatever the reason, they all have the right to the decisions for their children.

Please DO NOT take that as a slam on your idea or the good intentions you had in proposing it. I am just trying to point out how people may come at it from a different angle.

 

[Allison]

You asked for feedback so I am going to be honest in my response.

As a parent, I would not like this at all. Disney is a family destination to me and I would not want my young daughter making that trip without the rest of the family. I also wouldn't want a child that age gone from home for that long without parents.

I think you should take some time for the initial hurt feelings to go away before you make decisions. You said your dream was crushed so it appears this was very personal to you and you need to distance yourself from that. I think splitting the troop into two is definitely a bad idea.

Good luck. I hope you start to feel better. You definitely had good intentions.

 

[msmayor]

I don't think that I explained well enough that the girls will be raising ALL of the money. I only brought up the idea to inspire the girls. To inspire the girls to stay in girls scouts over the years. To inspire the girls to work hard selling cookies. I figured the details of planning would come later. I guess that was my fault. I just never guessed in a million years that any parent would object. Never dawned on me.

Making sure that parents know there will be no out-of-pocket costs for them is very important; those who don't realize that will naturally talk down the trip if they know they can't help with $$ to get their daughter there.

Its great that you want to inspire the girls to save for a Disney trip...but I think you should only retain that right now as a potential. They need to see in the here and now how planning and saving for something special can pay off. Plan a less-espensive trip or activity. Involve them in the budgeting and planning, to show them that with hard work they can indeed achieve their goal of Disney, if that's what they really want.

I don't think you can make it their 'first' goal...they need to see how goal-setting really works.

This achieves two ends: teaching the girls that they will indeed need to work to reach their destination, AND showing their parents that you, as the leaders, can guide them properly from an idea to reality. If you can show the parents that a smaller goal is not only attainable but will be lots of fun for the girls, they may be more open to a bigger trip in the future.

 

[remark44]

I feel your pain. I'm a leader (for the 4th year). My parents still have problems letting their girls go camping for just one night. So an out of town trip would never happen with my troop. I would love to give my girls a goal like this. But the GS have a rule that the money has to be shared by everyone in the troop. So you cannot just take a few of the girls.

It's too bad that you couldn't combine something like volunteering at Give Kids the World. Then it is a trip and a service project.

Hang in there. Sometimes the ones that aren't as "in to it" weed themselves out. You say they are just Brownies, so maybe in a few years the ones that really want to participate may be the only ones left. Then you can take them when they are seniors.

 

[connie1042]

I guess I have to agree with the majority here. I don't know where you live, so I have no idea if you are flying or thinking of driving or what ever. But I do not think I would let my daughter go. A couple of years ago I took a couple of my past daycare kids. I had promised them from the time they were little, if they ever got old enough where they could leave mom and dad for a week and not whine, I would take them to WDW. We are from Minnesota. I worked for a whole year on that trip. The parents were involved in all the planning. (Their parents paid for there trip) It was a lot of work. From transportation, to hotel, to where we would be each day. Medical forms, permission slips, credit card pass words. There is a lot of things involved taking someone elses kid out of the state. We had a great time, but was it relaxing for me, not really. I knew I was responsible for these kids. I did not take it lightly. It was a great trip, but I don't know if I would do it again.