So fustrated!

[Laurafoster]

Family can be so fustrating! My fiances aunt (who he is really close to) has had a few problems with incompetent veins. At our engagement party she said she will do anything i can to be at the weddingeven if it means getting on a boat as it means so much to her and my fiance means so much to her!

Today she got her test results which were unfortunately bad news which means she is "unable to fly" so how does she break the news to my fiance - by a txt msg - also saying that if she had her way we would get married here (meaning in the UK) and if we have to get married in disney then she'll put up with it!

Now i think that if you care about someone as much as she says she cares for him 1. would you break bad news like that in a text message? and 2. Would you say "if i had my way you'd get married here"?

I personally think thats selfish and her trying to get us to not get married in Disney?

Am i over reacting?

 

[hiwaygal]

Am i over reacting?

Maybe just a little...but from a bride's perspective, I think your frustration and "anger" is justified...

Maybe your DF's aunt was upset about being told she can't travel either and felt the need to "lash out", however tactlessly...doesn't make it right, but she's probably upset she can't be at your wedding.

Plus...your wedding is still about a year away, right? Is there nothing medical science can do to help this lady's condition? Perhaps a second opinion? What are "incompetent veins"?

Bottom line...try not to fret over it...your wedding should be YOUR day, don't let anyone guilt you into something you don't want to do!!

It'll be okay!!

 

[Rustyflwr3]

No, I dont think you are over reacting. It's perfectly reasonable to get frustrated after hearing such news. To me, it seemed as if she was infact trying to put maybe a guilt trip on your DF to try and make him change the wedding plans. Everything will work out!! Good Luck!

Jess

 

[Laurafoster]

Plus...your wedding is still about a year away, right? Is there nothing medical science can do to help this lady's condition? Perhaps a second opinion? What are "incompetent veins"?

It'll be okay!!

Incompetent veins basically mean the blood doesnt flow through as it should. Everything i read on the internet said it can be treated. My mum works with a vascular surgon and we managed to get an appointment for her with one of the top guys in the country...but she said no?! Oh well the wedding is going ahead without them, i just fill so sorry for my F DH as it looks like his other aunt and uncle will now also back out, we always thought they would as they always go away with his aunt and their kids (although im sure money will be the excuse)

I'll have all of my family there - some are even taking a loan out to help pay for the trip! im just feel so sorry for him that his family appear to not care

 

[hiwaygal]

Incompetent veins basically mean the blood doesnt flow through as it should. Everything i read on the internet said it can be treated. My mum works with a vascular surgon and we managed to get an appointment for her with one of the top guys in the country...but she said no?! Oh well the wedding is going ahead without them, i just fill so sorry for my F DH as it looks like his other aunt and uncle will now also back out, we always thought they would as they always go away with his aunt and their kids (although im sure money will be the excuse)

I'll have all of my family there - some are even taking a loan out to help pay for the trip! im just feel so sorry for him that his family appear to not care

It's a shame the aunt won't get treatment...

I know you are upset and feel badly for your FDH...it's very difficult. I sort of felt "snubbed" when my family wouldn't make the trip to Disney...but it turned out great anyway! I understood their reasons and I left it at that...I was going to get married at Disney it was their choice to be there with me or not.

Show them lots of pictures and videos from other Disney weddings...get them more "involved" with the planning (if you haven't already) and maybe they'll get more excited and make the decision to join you both.

If not, well...they will miss out...but try not to let it dampen your spirits or the day...it will all be okay in the end!!

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I understand it's a pre-existing medical condition, but is it possible his aunt may be looking for a way out of the expense and nervousness that comes with the trip?

Everyone on my Dad's side of the family is from the UK. Only my aunt and her husband, who is Deaconess for he Church of England, are coming. And that's becuase she's performing the ceremony. For a lot of them, the costs were too high. If she's refusing surgery, I begin to wonder if it's the, "excuse," when in fact there is soemthign else going on....

There was a family member (with ongoing heart troubles) who wanted to come but was too nervous to travel internationally becuase of the differences in medical insurance, hospitals, being away from doctors, etc. Could it be she's nervous and doesn't want to travel?

How long is it until your wedding? If it is any amount of time (like more than a month), I would say the doctor is bogus for even passing judgement this early. Coming from a fmaily of physicians, usually the, "final call," on travel plans is made very close to the time of the actual event.