So FRUSTRATED! Some "FRIEND"... A Vent...

[AKL_Megs]

Maybe he secretly hopes to "accidentally" bump into you during the 2 weeks you both have off. You'll suddenly see him in a new light and find him totally irresistible. You'll spend the remainder of your vacations together having a torrid affair.

A "torrid affair" might be difficult after what I might do to him if I happen to "accidentally" bump into him!

 

[LilyWDW]

Who the heck cares why he wouldn't switch dates? He didn't want to. I don't see that as making him a horrible, selfish person.

 

[buckler]

A "torrid affair" might be difficult after what I might do to him if I happen to "accidentally" bump into him!

On the plus side, after you are done with him he might not be needing that prostate exam.

 

[phorsenuf]

Who the heck cares why he wouldn't switch dates? He didn't want to. I don't see that as making him a horrible, selfish person.

I agree. Maybe too his wife had something going on during the two weeks you wanted him to switch with you. Even if he wasn't doing anything maybe he wanted to spend the time relaxing with her.

 

[Jennasis]

Who the heck cares why he wouldn't switch dates? He didn't want to. I don't see that as making him a horrible, selfish person.

The OP cares. She's just venting.

I would, in her shoes, probably scale WAAAaaaaaaaayy back on DH's free mechanic services for the friend. But I'm vengeful like that.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I agree. Maybe too his wife had something going on during the two weeks you wanted him to switch with you. Even if he wasn't doing anything maybe he wanted to spend the time relaxing with her.

Like he does every day?

I've talked with her, and even she doesn't understand why he won't switch days...

It's called doing someone a favor. My husband has done enough of those for this guy, like I said, it would be nice to see one done in return.

I know everyone here knows him better than anyone, and he has TONS of plans. My husband spends 36 hours a week less than 2' from the man... I can tell you the problem isn't all of the plans he has, it's his damn superiority complex, but think whatever you want. I know, I know, it's time to have fun with this thread... it's MY fault now. Carry on.

 

[sunnyday123]

Like he does every day?

I've talked with her, and even she doesn't understand why he won't switch days...

It's called doing someone a favor. My husband has done enough of those for this guy, like I said, it would be nice to see one done in return.

I know everyone here knows him better than anyone, and he has TONS of plans. My husband spends 36 hours a week less than 2' from the man... I can tell you the problem isn't all of the plans he has, it's his damn superiority complex, but think whatever you want. I know, I know, it's time to have fun with this thread... it's MY fault now. Carry on.

lol....you knew this when you started this thread!!

And they car pool together?? What a schmuck.

 

[DaisyLynn]

OP, like you, I'd be miffed. It's just not nice of the "friend". I realize not everyone has to be nice all of the time, but it sounds like these guys are not just simply co-workers, but "buddies" as well.

 

[WDWorBUST]

lol....you knew this when you started this thread!!

And they car pool together?? What a schmuck.

I'm guessing they are both police officers on patrol together.

I am with you. When I worked fast food and/or retail when I was younger I was always the one willing to trade for other people's plans but the favor was never returned. Let's just say I quit doing that after being burned so many times. I think you have every right to be angry about this, I would be too. Oh and the "favors" would definitely stop. Good luck getting past this, because regardless he is going to be in your life.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would be "cooling" this relationship as much as possible without hurting your DH as work.
I certainly wouldn't be doing him any favors, that's for sure.

 

[Mimi1965]

I once had a huge "fight" with a co-worker because I would not switch Saturdays with her.
She simply would not listen to my reason-I had a Doctor's appointment for my weekday off (Thurs) for the saturday I was working-she was just so mad, she would not listen

I really think he or his wife have 'plans"-they are just not exciting plans.KWIM?

 

[robinb]

{{hugs}} I would be angry and disappointed too.

I know you don't want advise but this is the DIS after all . I would take it easy on your hubby. He must be just as disappointed as you are. He tried his best and now he has to sit in a car with this guy all day every day. If you go off about his "friend" to him too much or make ultimatums about ending the "favor train" it will make working with the big jerk that much harder.

 

[mamacatnv]

OP I can certainly sympathize. We take a family vacation one week a year, every year without fail for the past 18 years. DH put in his request in May and it was denied. The kids and I will be going without him unless something changes in the next few weeks.
His boss also denied all long weekends etc. so we leave for our long weekend camping trips on Thursday mornings and he joins us Friday nights.
Supposedly all persons in his dept were denied summer vacation time, but one of his co-workers just took a long weekend that was approved and yet he still has been told no.

I hear you with the friend, and while it is frustrating I do see some of his "senior" reasoning.

 

[wdwfan16]

I am just so frustrated... I don't know whether to be mad or sad, and I don't know if feeling either of those things is justifiable, but I feel them nonetheless.

Not looking for any suggestions, advice, or any of that good stuff... Just feel like if I don't get this off my chest, I will expolde.

My husband and I have had an EXTREMELY busy year. All we were doing was looking forward to a vacation this summer where we could escape from everything. We had all sorts of plans in the air... a trip to WDW, or maybe to the Outer Banks, or to Chicago... wherever. We just needed some time alone, away from home.

Those plans all came crashing down around us when my husband was denied the same week off for vacation that I was assigned. I have the first and second week of August off, and my husband was assigned the third and fourth week of August off.

You can imagine my excitement when I found out that my husbands work partner and good friend (supposed, you'll see...) was scheduled for vacation the first and second week of August.

My husband talked with him, and found out that he doesn't have anything planned at all for those two weeks, so he asked if he would be willing to trade his first week for my husbands third week, which would leave HIM with the second and third week off, and my husband with the first and fourth week off, meaning that we could go away somewhere together.

His response?

"I am not doing anything, just staying home those two weeks. I have no plans. But... I won't trade with you because I am senior to you, I bid for these weeks off, I got them, and that is the way it is."

Well, he didn't say that EXACTLY, but basically, that is how he put it to my husband.

What makes me MAD is that he has no plans, so a week is a week is a week... he would still get TWO STRAIGHT weeks off. His wife doesn't work, so a week is a week is a week to her as well. He's just choosing to have a superiority complex.

I GET that he is senior, he bid for his time and got it. I get that.

What makes me FLAMING HOT MAD is that this is the same "friend" who brought over his piece of crap car for my husband to work on one hot and steamy afternoon, leaked oil all over our garage, drank all of our beer, ate a free dinner, and was saved hundreds of dollars by having my husband do HIM a favor.

There are other things, favors, etc., that my husband has done as a friend for this man... it would be nice to see a returned favor, but I guess this man is above that.

So, while he sits alone at home doing nothing with his wife, I will sit alone at home while my husband works. Then he will sit alone at home while I work, and we will go another year without so much as a vacation. (Feeling sorry for myself now... )

Some "friend" my husband has.

Thanks for letting me vent... I feel better now!

Why didn't you try to change your date months ago when her first told you NO? You don't have any plans either.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I haven't had a chance to take to my husband on his thoughts. When I heard the news, I basically said goodbye and hung up before I said things I might later regret!

No kiddos. We asked him months ago when he bid... he had no plans then. We've been asking for weeks. Yesterday, we pretty much got the absolute "no".

You asked him when he bid if he had plans, which he didn't. But plans doesn't always have to mean going somewhere. Maybe he is looking forward to the downtime. Maybe he has plans he hasn't shared.

And then, you've only been asking for "weeks" for him to change. And he has said no every time? Again, extremely little time to give somebody to completely give up his plans.

And if he has continuously said no, why the surprise when your husband called? It doesn't make sense. If you have been asking for several weeks and the answer has always been "no", why the anger at the absolute "no." Did you really think you were going to wear him down like a toddler trying to get their way?

Like he does every day?

I've talked with her, and even she doesn't understand why he won't switch days.

He has been telling you "no" for several weeks, so you also discussed it with his wife? You asked her why he wouldn't switch with you? Wow, it is now probably a matter of principle with them.

We are going to try again in February. But it still stinks. That is 6 months away! Oh Lord.

Oh Lord yes. A whole 6 months wait for a WDW vacation. You couldn't do your impulse vacation that you started asking about just a few weeks ago, so now you have to wait the interminable 6 whole months. I think you need a

You have two choices - be a grownup and accept his decision not to give up his vacation for whatever his reasons. As much as you think you do, you have absolutely no idea if there are reasons he doesn't want to share with you. And his reasons don't really matter as that week was ultimately not yours to claim, it was his.

August didn't work out, that is life. It stinks and you have the right to be disappointed. Now immerse yourself during the next 6 months in the planning of your February trip. You now have 6 months to plan an absolutely fabulous get away.

Or conversely, you can continue to be furious that you didn't get your way immediately and people didn't give up their vacation for you with only a few weeks notice.

If the friendship is so one-sided, then cool the friendship. And if he never, ever does any other favors for you, then cool the auto mechanic favors too.

 

[N&B'smom]

Wow, as usual the Dis doesn't disappoint.

OP - I'm sorry it didn't work out for you and frankly, if the guy doesn't have plans and he's going to be doing nothing during his vacation, he's just being difficult. I sincerely doubt he has some secret plans. That's a bummer!! I certainly hope you're able to get that vacation together in Feb!!

 

[OceanAnnie]

The OP cares. She's just venting.

I would, in her shoes, probably scale WAAAaaaaaaaayy back on DH's free mechanic services for the friend. But I'm vengeful like that.

I'd be "less available" too. I don't think of it as vengeful, but rather an appreciation mirror. I just wouldn't be feeling it.

 

[JessicaR]

I'd be "less available" too. I don't think of it as vengeful, but rather an appreciation mirror. I just wouldn't be feeling it.

Me too.

OP - sorry things didnt work out!

 

[Magic Mom]

I'd be "less available" too. I don't think of it as vengeful, but rather an appreciation mirror. I just wouldn't be feeling it.

If this is the only time that he has let them down as friends, then I would disagree. Friendship isn't tit for tat. You do for me, then I do for you and so on. They seem like very close friends (close enough for Meg to question the wife on why he wouldn't switch and close enough for them to know ALL the details of their lives), it would be a shame to end that over this, unless he is always the taker and never does anything for Meg and her husband.

 

[OceanAnnie]

If this is the only time that he has let them down as friends, then I would disagree. Friendship isn't tit for tat. You do for me, then I do for you and so on. They seem like very close friends (close enough for Meg to question the wife on why he wouldn't switch and close enough for them to know ALL the details of their lives), it would be a shame to end that over this, unless he is always the taker and never does anything for Meg and her husband.

To me, it's a pretty big let down. But to each their own.