So FRUSTRATED! Some "FRIEND"... A Vent...

[AKL_Megs]

I am just so frustrated... I don't know whether to be mad or sad, and I don't know if feeling either of those things is justifiable, but I feel them nonetheless.

Not looking for any suggestions, advice, or any of that good stuff... Just feel like if I don't get this off my chest, I will expolde.

My husband and I have had an EXTREMELY busy year. All we were doing was looking forward to a vacation this summer where we could escape from everything. We had all sorts of plans in the air... a trip to WDW, or maybe to the Outer Banks, or to Chicago... wherever. We just needed some time alone, away from home.

Those plans all came crashing down around us when my husband was denied the same week off for vacation that I was assigned. I have the first and second week of August off, and my husband was assigned the third and fourth week of August off.

You can imagine my excitement when I found out that my husbands work partner and good friend (supposed, you'll see...) was scheduled for vacation the first and second week of August.

My husband talked with him, and found out that he doesn't have anything planned at all for those two weeks, so he asked if he would be willing to trade his first week for my husbands third week, which would leave HIM with the second and third week off, and my husband with the first and fourth week off, meaning that we could go away somewhere together.

His response?

"I am not doing anything, just staying home those two weeks. I have no plans. But... I won't trade with you because I am senior to you, I bid for these weeks off, I got them, and that is the way it is."

Well, he didn't say that EXACTLY, but basically, that is how he put it to my husband.

What makes me MAD is that he has no plans, so a week is a week is a week... he would still get TWO STRAIGHT weeks off. His wife doesn't work, so a week is a week is a week to her as well. He's just choosing to have a superiority complex.

I GET that he is senior, he bid for his time and got it. I get that.

What makes me FLAMING HOT MAD is that this is the same "friend" who brought over his piece of crap car for my husband to work on one hot and steamy afternoon, leaked oil all over our garage, drank all of our beer, ate a free dinner, and was saved hundreds of dollars by having my husband do HIM a favor.

There are other things, favors, etc., that my husband has done as a friend for this man... it would be nice to see a returned favor, but I guess this man is above that.

So, while he sits alone at home doing nothing with his wife, I will sit alone at home while my husband works. Then he will sit alone at home while I work, and we will go another year without so much as a vacation. (Feeling sorry for myself now... )

Some "friend" my husband has.

Thanks for letting me vent... I feel better now!

 

[MushyMushy]

Yep, not a friend at all. I think if I were your hubby, the favor bus would be closed for business.

I'm sorry you guys don't get your vacation time together.

 

[Jennasis]

Hugs. Sometimes people suck. I'm so sorry.

 

[sunnyday123]

What was your husbands reply? And you know you have to tell us exactly wht this guy said. That does stink. Next year, get your calendars out and bid on the same weeks!

 

[AKL_Megs]

Yep, not a friend at all. I think if I were your hubby, the favor bus would be closed for business.

I'm sorry you guys don't get your vacation time together.

What was your husbands reply? And you know you have to tell us exactly wht this guy said. That does stink. Next year, get your calendars out and bid on the same weeks!

I haven't had a chance to take to my husband on his thoughts. When I heard the news, I basically said goodbye and hung up before I said things I might later regret!

 

[Jennasis]

Any chance you could switch with someone where you work? OR apply for a different week?

 

[OceanAnnie]

Yep, not a friend at all. I think if I were your hubby, the favor bus would be closed for business.

I'm sorry you guys don't get your vacation time together.

Exactly.

Sorry your vacation plans didn't work out. Is there any way you can switch with someone?

 

[AKL_Megs]

Any chance you could switch with someone where you work? OR apply for a different week?

I tried. It's not gonna happen.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Is there anyone else your DH could switch with or maybe you two can postpone your vacation dates until you can get it at the same time. I would just work those weeks (that were planned off) and try again if at all possible.

 

[Terry36]

WOW i would be ...and my DH would not be helping him out anymore either!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Devil's advocate here:

Are there other people who are less senior than this friend. but either higher than your DH or even at the same level as your DH who might have also bid on those weeks and not gotten them? If so, the friend trading with your DH could cause lots of unwanted workplace issues.
I know that nowhere I or DH (or my mom who worked where seniority ruled) has worked would have allowed such a trade. The senior person would have to give up the weeks and then everyone else would get a chance at them BY SENIORITY. Otherwise people at the top of the choice list could take the most likely to be wanted weeks and "sell" them to others, etc.

Editing to add that even if it were not expressly forbidden--it could look very bad for your friend and as if he plays favourties which could hurt his career in the long run.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Devil's advocate here:

Are there other people who are less senior than this friend. but either higher than your DH or even at the same level as your DH who might have also bid on those weeks and not gotten them? If so, the friend trading with your DH could cause lots of unwanted workplace issues.
I know that nowhere I or DH (or my mom who worked where seniority ruled) has worked would have allowed such a trade. The senior person would have to give up the weeks and then everyone else would get a chance at them BY SENIORITY. Otherwise people at the top of the choice list could take the most likely to be wanted weeks and "sell" them to others, etc.

While this makes total sense, it's not an issue at all. Nobody else cares at all... they all have/had the vacations they want.

 

[Jennasis]

I like the idea of postponing your vacations. Could you two work August and try to bidon a vacation later in the year?

 

[AKL_Megs]

I like the idea of postponing your vacations. Could you two work August and try to bidon a vacation later in the year?

We work on set, month to month schedules. I wish we could do that, but now that our August schedules are set, we must work them. That is why this trade was so important.

We are going to try again in February. But it still stinks. That is 6months away! Oh Lord.

 

[msmayor]

While I completely sympathize with you on your ruined plans, I do think its unfair of you to be so harsh on this guy who refuses to switch.

Quite honestly, you don't REALLY know what his plans are. Maybe he's just telling people they're doing nothing, but really doing SOMETHING.

I think its unfair to be so upset at this guy for refusing to switch. He bid, he won. It wasn't his decision to award the time, it was management's who reviewed the bids.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Quite honestly, you don't REALLY know what his plans are. Maybe he's just telling people they're doing nothing, but really doing SOMETHING.

I can tell you, he has NO plans. If he did, he'd be talking to my husband about it... they sit in a car 12 hours a day together.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I am just so frustrated... I don't know whether to be mad or sad, and I don't know if feeling either of those things is justifiable, but I feel them nonetheless.

Not looking for any suggestions, advice, or any of that good stuff... Just feel like if I don't get this off my chest, I will expolde.

My husband and I have had an EXTREMELY busy year. All we were doing was looking forward to a vacation this summer where we could escape from everything. We had all sorts of plans in the air... a trip to WDW, or maybe to the Outer Banks, or to Chicago... wherever. We just needed some time alone, away from home.

Those plans all came crashing down around us when my husband was denied the same week off for vacation that I was assigned. I have the first and second week of August off, and my husband was assigned the third and fourth week of August off.

You can imagine my excitement when I found out that my husbands work partner and good friend (supposed, you'll see...) was scheduled for vacation the first and second week of August.

My husband talked with him, and found out that he doesn't have anything planned at all for those two weeks, so he asked if he would be willing to trade his first week for my husbands third week, which would leave HIM with the second and third week off, and my husband with the first and fourth week off, meaning that we could go away somewhere together.

His response?

"I am not doing anything, just staying home those two weeks. I have no plans. But... I won't trade with you because I am senior to you, I bid for these weeks off, I got them, and that is the way it is."

Well, he didn't say that EXACTLY, but basically, that is how he put it to my husband.

What makes me MAD is that he has no plans, so a week is a week is a week... he would still get TWO STRAIGHT weeks off. His wife doesn't work, so a week is a week is a week to her as well. He's just choosing to have a superiority complex.

I GET that he is senior, he bid for his time and got it. I get that.

What makes me FLAMING HOT MAD is that this is the same "friend" who brought over his piece of crap car for my husband to work on one hot and steamy afternoon, leaked oil all over our garage, drank all of our beer, ate a free dinner, and was saved hundreds of dollars by having my husband do HIM a favor.

There are other things, favors, etc., that my husband has done as a friend for this man... it would be nice to see a returned favor, but I guess this man is above that.

So, while he sits alone at home doing nothing with his wife, I will sit alone at home while my husband works. Then he will sit alone at home while I work, and we will go another year without so much as a vacation. (Feeling sorry for myself now... )

Some "friend" my husband has.

Thanks for letting me vent... I feel better now!

Devils Advocate #2 here....

Does he have kids that he may want to spend time with before they go back to school?

It definitely stinks that you can't get vacations together.

But I have to ask, are you just now approaching him for the change, less than 2 weeks before the planned time?

I can almost understand somebody not wanting to change at the last minute. He may not have any big plans like WDW, but he may have scheduled appointments, tee times, lunches with friends, that would be a bonfide pia to change.

He may not want to share dr's appts or any other plans with you (it really is not your business what he does with his time off) and just used the seniority thing to end the conversation quickly.

If this were 6 months away, I would say the guy was being a jerk. But being asked to change your vacation plans only 2 weeks from your vacation, I don't blame the guy.

How does that saying go? Last minute planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on the other guy's part.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Devils Advocate #2 here....

Does he have kids that he may want to spend time with before they go back to school?

It definitely stinks that you can't get vacations together.

But I have to ask, are you just now approaching him for the change, less than 2 weeks before the planned time?

I can almost understand somebody not wanting to change at the last minute. He may not have any big plans like WDW, but he may have scheduled appointments, tee times, lunches with friends, that would be a bonfide pia to change.

He may not want to share dr's appts or any other plans with you (it really is not your business what he does with his time off) and just used the seniority thing to end the conversation quickly.

No kiddos. We asked him months ago when he bid... he had no plans then. We've been asking for weeks. Yesterday, we pretty much got the absolute "no".

I can tell you, these two share things you wouldn't want to know. If he had a PROSTATE EXAM, my husband would know about it, and he'd get the details when he got back!

 

[PaulaSB12]

No kiddos. We asked him months ago when he bid... he had no plans then. We've been asking for weeks. Yesterday, we pretty much got the absolute "no".

I can tell you, these two share things you wouldn't want to know. If he had a PROSTATE EXAM, my husband would know about it, and he'd get the details when he got back!

Maybe the asking over and over irritated him its does seem like nagging to do that. you said he had no plans then maybe he has made some plans now.

 

[buckler]

Maybe he secretly hopes to "accidentally" bump into you during the 2 weeks you both have off. You'll suddenly see him in a new light and find him totally irresistible. You'll spend the remainder of your vacations together having a torrid affair.