So frustrated ....lost retainer

MissManda

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
696
I am so frustrated right now. My teenager got his braces off exactly three weeks ago. He has a clear Invisalign type retainer he is supposed to be e
Wearing during the day. Well, he apparently threw it away at lunch today. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, but I thought for certain it would have at least lasted a month.

What really ticks me off is his non-chalant attitude. He basically laughed and was like no biggie. I asked if he would have said no biggie if he had lost his phone. He said that was different because his phone was valuable. He quickly lost his phone. Now, I'm trying to figure out for how long.
 
If it were my kid saying it like that, he/she would be helping me pay for the next one. I guess my child would have no money for doing things until it was paid for. My child would think twice when it comes out of their money. But that is IMO.
 
How much is the new retainer? I would have him earn enough to pay for the new one. New retainer, then he gets his phone back
 
I think if he was going to loose it it would be at the beginning when you aren't used to having it. The routine isn't ingrained yet.


See I would have laughed if he said that to me! I think it is funny. And to a teen his phone is more valuable, and in actuality depending on what type phone he has it could be more valuable. Is it? was he correct? How do you punish for being correct?

My kids and I go back and forth like that to each other all the time. There would be no punishment here for that.

I say give him his phone back now.


I have to ask kids aren't allowed to joke with you? seems a rather dreary way to live.
 

Omg. That stinks! I probably had the same attitude about my retainers at his age. For whatever reason I would take them out and hide them in my sleep @_@

We went through a lot of retainers lmao. Could you do the permanent retainers instead?
 
I always buy the insurance on my kids retainers $75 and it covers loss as well as any damage and is good for 4 years. We have only had to use it once for the same reason, but my daughter sure was in a panic over it being lost. Glad my dentists lab offers it as they aren't that cheap........

I too would make him cover the cost as that is what I do with my kids phones (his phone wouldn't have anything to do with his lost retainer tho), they have the insurance on them but the replacement costs $100 and my son was phoneless until he had $100 to pay for the replacement I got as I did file the claim as soon as we returned from vacation. He swam with his in his trunks pocket. Needless to say that happened 4 months after getting his first phone and he has been good with it for almost 2 years now
 
My kid would have lost his phone for that too and helped pay for the new one. I like to joke around but throwing away $100+ appliance is call for an apology, not a flippant joke.

At my kids' middle school, they label the garbage bags based on the lunch for this exact reason.
 
My daughters orthodontist only recommends wearing those at night for the simple reason they get lost during the day.
 
My kid would have lost his phone for that too and helped pay for the new one. I like to joke around but throwing away $100+ appliance is call for an apology, not a flippant joke.

Mouthy, flippant, disrespectful? Phone would be gone for as long as it took him to earn the money for a new retainer- even if you have to pay for the retainer right now so he can keep using it.
 
If it were my kid saying it like that, he/she would be helping me pay for the next one. I guess my child would have no money for doing things until it was paid for. My child would think twice when it comes out of their money. But that is IMO.

I need to call the Ortho tomorrow and see if they get one freebie replacement. Otherwise, he will help pay for it. If he had simply apologized instead of giving me attitude, I would probably just gotten a replacement and let this one slide. I know accidents happen.


How much is the new retainer? I would have him earn enough to pay for the new one. New retainer, then he gets his phone back

I think the replacement is $130, but he may get a one replacement. I have to call and see. After his attitude he will be helping to pay for it if its not free.


I think if he was going to loose it it would be at the beginning when you aren't used to having it. The routine isn't ingrained yet.


See I would have laughed if he said that to me! I think it is funny. And to a teen his phone is more valuable, and in actuality depending on what type phone he has it could be more valuable. Is it? was he correct? How do you punish for being correct?

My kids and I go back and forth like that to each other all the time. There would be no punishment here for that.

I say give him his phone back now.


I have to ask kids aren't allowed to joke with you? seems a rather dreary way to live.

He and I are quite capable of joking around with each other. I also know that him losing it was just a mistake and mistakes happen. However, the tone of voice he used and the attitude that he displayed was not joking. He has since gone on to say that he didn't care that he lost it, because he thinks its stupid and doesn't think he needs to wear it. He is not being punished simply because he lost he retainer (accidents happen). He is being punished for his smart mouth and attitude. So no, the phone is not being given back tonight.


Omg. That stinks! I probably had the same attitude about my retainers at his age. For whatever reason I would take them out and hide them in my sleep @_@

We went through a lot of retainers lmao. Could you do the permanent retainers instead?

I always took mine out in my sleep too. He has a permanent retainer on the back of his bottom teeth. An Invisalign type retainer for his top teeth that he is supposed to wear during the day and metal retainer for his top teeth that he wears at night.

I always buy the insurance on my kids retainers $75 and it covers loss as well as any damage and is good for 4 years. We have only had to use it once for the same reason, but my daughter sure was in a panic over it being lost. Glad my dentists lab offers it as they aren't that cheap........

I too would make him cover the cost as that is what I do with my kids phones (his phone wouldn't have anything to do with his lost retainer tho), they have the insurance on them but the replacement costs $100 and my son was phoneless until he had $100 to pay for the replacement I got as I did file the claim as soon as we returned from vacation. He swam with his in his trunks pocket. Needless to say that happened 4 months after getting his first phone and he has been good with it for almost 2 years now

I've never heard of insurance on retainers. That was never discussed by our Ortho. I may have to check on that. Otherwise, its $130 each time it has to be replaced.

The only reason his phone was taken away is because of his attitude and smart mouth. Not really because he lost his retainer.



My kid would have lost his phone for that too and helped pay for the new one. I like to joke around but throwing away $100+ appliance is call for an apology, not a flippant joke.

At my kids' middle school, they label the garbage bags based on the lunch for this exact reason.

I'm wondering if its worth it to call the school tomorrow. By the time he told me, it was really late. I'm afraid it would be too late to look for it.


My daughters orthodontist only recommends wearing those at night for the simple reason they get lost during the day.


Our Ortho recommends this one for the day and a metal one at night. Funny how different Ortho's can be about retainers. I didn't realize there were so many options now.

Mouthy, flippant, disrespectful? Phone would be gone for as long as it took him to earn the money for a new retainer- even if you have to pay for the retainer right now so he can keep using it.


Ugh...he just keeps sticking his foot in his mouth. I told him several times that his phone was taken away because of his mouth and attitude. Not because he lost if per se. All he had to do was say he lost it and he was sorry and what can I do to make it right? He then came back and said he didn't care that he lost it, that it was stupid and he didn't need it. Honestly, I thought he had more common sense to say something that dumb out loud to me.

Oh well. Will call the school tomorrow to see if by some miracle they found one missing retainer and if not, I will call the Ortho and see what they can do. I'm really hoping we get one freebie.
 
Our Ortho recommends this one for the day and a metal one at night. Funny how different Ortho's can be about retainers. I didn't realize there were so many options now.

My DS got his braces off in October. Two days ago he got to start wearing it just at night! Yeah! We made it. I actually can't believe he didn't lose it. It's 150 for a new one at my orthodontist.

My DS also didn't get why he needed it. We explained that his teeth would go crooked again if he didn't wear it, and the next set of braces would be on him.

I never had braces, but the orthodontist told him he could now just wear the retainer at night FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. I laughed out loud at that, and I'm a rule follower!
 
I have a neighbor who I would guess is in her early to mid 30's and has elementary school aged kids of her own who told me she wears her retainer every other night. I was shocked. I never had braces and although I knew it was common to wear a retainer afterwards I had no idea it was for decades
 
I have a neighbor who I would guess is in her early to mid 30's and has elementary school aged kids of her own who told me she wears her retainer every other night. I was shocked. I never had braces and although I knew it was common to wear a retainer afterwards I had no idea it was for decades

My older DD's ortho recommended that she wear it non-stop for 6 mo, then every night until she's about 20-21. Then put it in weekly to make sure it fits easily. If it doesn't, then she should wear it again. Your neighbor sounds a little extreme though better safe than sorry.

I did not wear my retainer much and my teeth show it. I wish I had kept them when they still might have been able to correct the damage. I really regret not keeping mine nice & straight but not sure I'll commit to going through it again.
 
A little more than 30 years ago, I did almost exactly what your son did and accidentally threw away my retainer at lunch. It was new, I wasn't used to it and because it was not for straightening teeth, but to correct a significant overbite the design was such that it had to come out when I was eating. I was so horrified when I told my mom and she took it in stride, but we ended up heading out to the back dock and going through bags of stinky trash to see if we could find it. Amazingly enough, we did! So, I totally get how your son could accidentally dispose of it with his lunch trash. However, his attitude about it definitely warranted some consequences and I think those you imposed were reasonable.
 
Some of the Ortho's around here offer insurance. Others do not. I think our current one doesn't but donates the cost of the replacement retainers to a dental charity group. DD gets hers off in a couple weeks and is going for the clear retainer. Our dentist had his bottom teeth move so he has warned her about the need to wear the retainers for a LONG time.
 
My 2 oldest have both gotten their braces within the last 6 months and I remember that 1 replacement Invisalign retainer was included in the contracts. They'll both get permanent retainers on the bottom and Invisalign for the top.

They'll be sure to wear it too! Their cousins boyfriend is 23 and you can't even tell he had braces! They've moved so much that wearing the retainer now couldn't fix it. He's going to have to be rebraced..... On his own dime!!
 
A few years ago my son did the same thing. It was the next to last day of school and they were cleaning out their lockers. He had his retainer off since lunchtime. It should have been back in his mouth but it wasn't. Sure enough he cleaned out the locker and didn't realize until he got home what happened. We both went back to school but their were garbage bags everywhere from the clean-up. I certainly wasn't happy but it was an accident and he did feel bad. That was a few years ago and he still has the replacement one.
 
A friend of mine broke the record for the most number of retainers. I think she went through 6 in total! I know at least one was broken (she left it on top of her instrument case when practicing and someone tripped over the case then stepped on the retainer) but I think most of them were lost. She lost one in a restaurant when we were overseas - she left it on the side of the plate and, even though she dashed back as soon as she realised, it had disappeared. The problem was, we were travelling around Asia on a school trip and were only in each country for a few days, plus it was a long weekend for the Moon Festival so it was impossible for her to get a new one. Fortunately she had had her braces off for awhile and was getting to the stage where she'd soon only need it at night so she was able to get a mouth guard to wear at night instead (although apparently mouth guards are very difficult to find in Hong Kong in September!).
 
My dd will finally get her braces off in June! :thumbsup2

Her retainer will have 2 fake teeth on it, so losing it is not an option. ;)

In fact when we get her braces off I have to travel to the office that makes the retainer to get them off. She will be the first appt. and the last appt. that day. She cannot afford to not wear her retainer. She has to get implants if possible or a bridge made.
 



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