SO - Distrusting Your Parents

[Goofyluver]

Oh good lord, my parents supported the myth, and no, it didn't cost me any level of distrust for them.

I would suppose that those that would answer in the affirmative are those whose parents did other things that would lead to a large level of distrust.

I'd be baffled to see anyone come along and say, "It was that Santa lie that did it. By golly, they clothed me, fed me, taught me well, everything else was great! But then I found out about Santa and it was all downhill from there."

 

[AnnieEMT]

Teaching your children about Santa, et al, isn't lying. The spirit of Santa Claus can be alive in anyone.

So no, I am not scarred by my parents allowing Santa into our lives. As an adult, I enjoy passing on the spirit of Santa to others, both to grown ups and little ones.

I agree with this --- I never felt lied to - quite the opposite, I was amazed that our parents would go to that much effort to create magic for us, and if anything it made me appreciate them even more. Now that my kids are all older, they've all said the same. Santa might not come down the chimney in a big red suit, but he's there just the same - and as Disney lovers, I think we all appreciate a little magic now & then

 

[Magic Mom]

The only thing it made me distrust was stories about magical beings leaving me presents while I slept.

Other than that, I was smart enough to understand what the stories represented and to tell the difference between that and true lies. I never felt lied to or decieved.

As far as I can tell, my kids have no lingering mental anguish over Santa not being "real" either. When they found out it seemed like they regarded it as a rite of passage, and now they both enjoy keeping the magic for younger cousins.

 

[Magic Mom]

Oh good lord, my parents supported the myth, and no, it didn't cost me any level of distrust for them.

Are you absolutely sure??? Think hard. I was thinking we could start a support group......sit around in a circle, weep....relay childhood stoies about hopelessly wishing that a unicorn would leave us scented markers under the ficus tree. Then compare notes on the extent to which our parents kept the lie going with stockings and cookies and "reindeer food"

Then we could all go drinking.

 

[zurgswife]

My parents were very much into the spirit of Christmas; I never considered it a lie because I continued to live in the spirit of the season even after I knew....In our house it is the same thing...as the kids found out they enjoyed participating in the spirit because it's the spirit of Santa that makes our house so enjoyable at Christmas time.

 

[Goofyluver]

Are you absolutely sure??? Think hard. I was thinking we could start a support group......sit around in a circle, weep....relay childhood stoies about hopelessly wishing that a unicorn would leave us scented markers under the ficus tree. Then compare notes on the extent to which our parents kept the lie going with stockings and cookies and "reindeer food"

Then we could all go drinking.

Well, now I'm not so sure. But, only cause you said we could all go out drinking.

 

[Magic Mom]

Well, now I'm not so sure. But, only cause you said we could all go out drinking.

Well now our support group has two. We need more people. Goofy....how did it make you feel when you found out Lucky Charms were just plain delicious and not MAGICALLY delicious?

 

[Chelley00]

1. It was the best memory of my childhood. I tell that story every year.

2. And believing is not just about a jolly old elf, but stretches into my faith that a divine little baby was born millenia ago who saved the world.

3. Santa is a symbol of the spirit of Christmas. I find it cruel to deny a child that.

Forgive me for adding the numbers, but I wanted to respond to some things in your post and wanted to make sure I could follow.

1. My kids come downstairs Christmas morning to open presents and stockings that are filled after they have gone to bed. This year our youngest had to wait hours for his older siblings to get up. We sat downstairs listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate and playing a game. Same type of memory you have. They just don't believe an imaginary man brought the presents.

2. One of the many reasons we have for not having Santa is that we didn't want to tell our kids Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Jesus all exist, and then go "Oh, by the way, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny are all fake, BUT Jesus isn't. We know we lied about the others, but....." It's also about not ever lying to our kids. Some people don't feel it's a lie, and that's ok for them, but we do.

3. Please watch how you word things. Cruel? Really? Beating them with coat hangers or starving them while we eat in front of them or strangling their puppy while they watch is cruel. Choosing not to allow our kids to believe in something that doesn't exist because the world says it's okay is not okay with us. Our oldest son is almost 19. He can tell you he isn't scarred from not believing in a myth.

We do still decorate with Santa, go see Santa, watch Santa movies, because we feel he's part of the celebration, but he doesn't magically appear in our house to leave presents. Too many people get wrapped up in Santa and presents, and for our family, that isnt' what Christmas is about.

 

[Goofyluver]

Well now our support group has two. We need more people. Goofy....how did it make you feel when you found out Lucky Charms were just plain delicious and not MAGICALLY delicious?

Not as bad as it felt when I found out that if I made that face again, it wouldn't really stay that way.

 

[Magic Mom]

Not as bad as it felt when I found out that if I made that face again, it wouldn't really stay that way.

buy...that's true, isn't it?

 

[mjkacmom]

My parents were great, but they weren't touchy feely lovey parents. We were left with babysitters almost every night, my dad travelled internationally for work, I have no memories of "playing" with my parents. Vacations, when we were young, meant being left with friends while they travelled with other adults. That said, we wanted for nothing, lived in an awesome neighborhood with lots of kids, and had a great childhood.

I LOVED the magic of the tooth fairy/easter bunny/santa. I'm so thankful that my parents played along, and let us give them up when we were ready. I still remember the excitement of Christmas Eve., and trying to stay awake, and one year being so sure I heard santa on the roof. Looking back, the thought of my parents waiting up to put out presents, hide eggs, slip a quarter under my pillow - that means more to me than paying for college.

 

[Chelley00]

Wow. It makes me sad that so many people are judgemental. Some people have real feelings of being lied to and so many of you equate it to Lucky Charms and your face staying that way? How sad you are so bored this morning you have nothing better to do than belittle people who believe or feel differently than you do.

 

[ford family]

Forgive me for adding the numbers, but I wanted to respond to some things in your post and wanted to make sure I could follow.

1. My kids come downstairs Christmas morning to open presents and stockings that are filled after they have gone to bed. This year our youngest had to wait hours for his older siblings to get up. We sat downstairs listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate and playing a game. Same type of memory you have. They just don't believe an imaginary man brought the presents.

2. One of the many reasons we have for not having Santa is that we didn't want to tell our kids Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Jesus all exist, and then go "Oh, by the way, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny are all fake, BUT Jesus isn't. We know we lied about the others, but....." It's also about not ever lying to our kids. Some people don't feel it's a lie, and that's ok for them, but we do.

3. Please watch how you word things. Cruel? Really? Beating them with coat hangers or starving them while we eat in front of them or strangling their puppy while they watch is cruel. Choosing not to allow our kids to believe in something that doesn't exist because the world says it's okay is not okay with us. Our oldest son is almost 19. He can tell you he isn't scarred from not believing in a myth.

We do still decorate with Santa, go see Santa, watch Santa movies, because we feel he's part of the celebration, but he doesn't magically appear in our house to leave presents. Too many people get wrapped up in Santa and presents, and for our family, that isnt' what Christmas is about.

It depends entirely on your perspective.
From where I stand you do believe in a myth so it is wrong for you to insist that what you tell your children is right and what I tell my children isn't.

I'm amazed at the number of "I never lie to my children" people who are frequenting a Disney board. The whole essence of Disney is suspending belief especially for young children.

ford family

 

[luvsJack]

No, I was smart enough to be able to distinguish between a fun fantasy and an outright lie (of which I do not remember my parents ever telling me).

With my own kids we have done the whole putting out cookies (and making sure just the right amount was eaten), reindeer food, Santa leaving foot prints by the fireplace, "magical" letters from Santa appearing in their stockings before Christmas, . . . the whole bit. It didn't make anyone doubt anything INCLUDING their faith in God and knowing who Jesus is.

Its just not even close to the same thing. And, like me, the have been quite able to distinguish the difference in a lie and a fantasy.

Same as with Mickey Mouse in WDW or if the magic in Harry Potter could really exist.

 

[tyniknate]

Well now our support group has two. We need more people. Goofy....how did it make you feel when you found out Lucky Charms were just plain delicious and not MAGICALLY delicious?

Oh, me too....me too! I am scarred for life because my mom and dad chose to allow us a little magic thoughout our childhood. What horrible people! Can I have my drink now?

Sorry, this just doesn't wash for me. Has to be way more than just the sandman, tooth fairy and santa to level that kind of distrust.

 

[Magic Mom]

Wow. It makes me sad that so many people are judgemental. Some people have real feelings of being lied to and so many of you equate it to Lucky Charms and your face staying that way? How sad you are so bored this morning you have nothing better to do than belittle people who believe or feel differently than you do.

I didn't equate anyone's feelings to Lucky Charms. If you choose to see santa as some heinous lie then that's your prerogative. I don't see it that way, nor do I do I presume to tell you how to raise your child OR pass judgements on how you raise your child.

 

[Goofyluver]

Wow. It makes me sad that so many people are judgemental. Some people have real feelings of being lied to and so many of you equate it to Lucky Charms and your face staying that way? How sad you are so bored this morning you have nothing better to do than belittle people who believe or feel differently than you do.

Did you read the thread?

I'll say it again, I guess.

I'd venture a guess and say that those that have "real feelings of being lied to" by their parents are not referring to an isolated incident of perpetuating the magic of Santa.

If your sum complaint against your parent(s) is that they gifted you the magic of Santa at Christmas time, then yes, I find that ridiculous.

 

[Magic Mom]

Oh, me too....me too! I am scarred for life because my mom and dad chose to allow us a little magic thoughout our childhood. What horrible people! Can I have my drink now?

Sorry, this just doesn't wash for me. Has to be way more than just the sandman, tooth fairy and santa to level that kind of distrust.

You know that animated Leprechaun is just an actor, don't you?

 

[Pixiedust34]

When I found out the truth about Santa, it made me appreciate all of the lengths my parents went to in order to make our Christmases fun and a bit magical. Now that our kids know the truth, they said the same thing--that Santa was fun. No mistrust involved here.

 

[tyniknate]

I'm afraid I must agree that you either follow it wholly through their lives, or not at all. Harry Potter, Mickey Mouse and all of the others who are "fantasy" fall in to the same category as Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc.

Why visit with Santa if you think it is a ridiculous lie? I truly don't see the point. If you don't believe and don't allow your children to believe....what is the point of visiting Santa? Or seeing a Santa movie? Sorry, I just don't get it.

Seems the judgment was started when the question was asked who of us are bad parents by perpetuating a lie with our children.