So disgusted with myself

[PAdisMOM]

After losing my cheat free star, I was all gung ho yesterday. "I'm back on track... Blah, blah ,blah" I went home and had a huge binge! I'm just sick over it. I can't keep doing this.

So this morning I was lying awake in bed and I decided to make a list of all the reasons I don't want to binge anymore. I'm going to write these down and carry them with me.

1.) It sets a terrible example for my daughters. I would be heartbroken if they picked this habit up from me.
2.) It makes me really sick. I get heartburn and gas and I can't sleep well at night.
3.) This is how I gain weight back. I worked too hard to lose weight. It is so not worth it to gain it back.
4.) I feel terrible even while I do it. I sneak into the kitchen, I hide that I'm eating. This is no way to live.

Now for some positive notes. I have lost a lot of weight. I exercise regularly. I am eating healthier than ever. Healthy eating has become a habit. It is so natural now to include vegetables and control my portions. I have tried food that I never thought I would and I like them (salad, zucchini, skim milk, any thing low fat). I have made so much progress, but I have to slay this binge beast. I feel like it is my last hurdle to a healthy life.

Sorry this is so long, but I had to be accountable and I had to get this all out.

 

[LisaTx]

You have come a long way and you have worked hard! I know because I've lost the same amount.

It sounds like this last hurdle for you is more of an emotional one. I know a lot of people can't stand him, but have you considered reading Dr. Phil's book? I don't agree with everything he does, but I do think emotions play a big part in why we all got overweight to begin with and that they are part of the equation we need to deal with to complete the overall picture of good health.

I haven't read the book yet, I've only been following the show so far. I do think he has some good points about creating an environment for success, discovering why we overeat, and what our triggers are and changing our habits.

I believe next Monday will be about key 4: Mastery over food and impulse eating. Maybe he'll have some ideas that will work for you.

Whether he is your cup of tea or not, it's obviously important for you because you're posting here asking for help. That's the first step. You've been so successful in every other way I know will will find a way to overcome this as well!

 

[PAdisMOM]

I love Dr. Phil. Everything he says makes perfet sense to me. Maybe I'll get his book this weekend. he is on during the day here, so I miss his show while I'm at work.

I have really tried to figure out what triggers these binges. I have several thoughts, but I don't think I hit on the overall big reason. You would think it should be obvious, but I have really thought about this a lot and I'm kind of stumped.

 

[MelanieC]

PAdisMOM,

((HUGS)), those binges are so powerful. Its hard to believe that we let them get the best of us even when we know how to loose the weight. I think the main thing is to keep foods in your house that if you do decide to binge, you don't do a lot of damage. You are making a huge step by listing the reasons you don't want to do it. What kinds of foods did you binge on? Do you allow yourself to eat these things? Or were they things that you haven't allowed yourself. I know it's difficult with red light foods because it can be so hard to stop eating them. What if you possibly added some of those foods in a controlled portion way back into your lifestyle? For me, one of those foods is peanut butter. I must eat it, or I will eventually binge on it.

Keep up the great job. You have so many healthy habits now.

Melanie

 

[LisaTx]

Is there a particular time you tend to do this? At night, while cooking, while watching tv?

 

[PAdisMOM]

It's always in the evening and into the night. It can start right after supper. It usually starts with taking a few bites from my daughters' plates.

I had been doing well when I stuck to the NO BLT rule (bites, licks, tastes). This seems to keep me under control.

The foods are usually things I can't fit into my daily points. Like i can fit in one or two chocolate chip cookies, but they must be a trigger food, because then I can't stop. This cycle really started on Friday when I used my flex points to eat 4 CC cookies and 1 c. of milk because I was craving it so bad. This led to eating more on Sat, but I still had Flex points. Sunday I was out of Flex points but the eating continued. This led to feeling so guilty and I felt the pressure that I HAD to do good for the next few days. I really think that this pressure I put on myself led to the binge.

Thank you guys so much for helping me work through this.

 

[tlgoblue]

I just wanted to say I love your new star! Keep up the good work. I also admire your introspective thoughts. Dr. Phil, though arrogant and brash, has some good common sense points, and learning about yourself and your relationship to food is a great place to start. Sounds like you are going to beat this for good, because every mistake you've made, you've come away knowing more about you and how you are going to make this work! You are really an inspiration! Thanks for this post!

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[LisaTx]

I haven't read it all, but I found a few tips in Dr. Phil's book.

He said to brust your teeth right after dinner. I've even heard somewhere to use those teeth whitening products after dinner. I'm sure you wouldn't want to eat after that.

If you're nibbling on what your kids leave on their plates, have someone else clear the table after dinner.

Sugar is definitely a cravings trigger. I know you're doing ww and it is allowed on your plan. I'm on Atkins and it's a big no-no for us partly because it is such a trigger. I've heard of Atkins people accidently eating something with sugar and then going on a huge binge. I haven't had any sugar since we went to Disney in early July and I have no food cravings at all. I have to remind myself to eat.

I would say that if you know you are going to eat sugar, know that you will probably have cravings and be prepared to handle them. I'll try to read all of chapter 4 in the book in the next day or two and see if there are more tips that can help you.

 

[marydmjj]

PadisMOM:

I too am prone to bringes. It's a terrible feeling to keep munching when you know you shouldn't be. I think you are doing great. You've come a long way and I know you will climb back on and continue downward.