Allrighty now, tonight we're going to get right into it because we have a really big shooow planned for you all, stories, songs, TOYS!
But first, a message from our Smidgy.
Well, not really from her, but about her.
You all know that I have a really strange sense of humor, and I think that's why you love me so.
Well, at least like me.
Ok, ok, won't spit on me at the first meeting?
Now, I admit this is in bad taste, but I can't help it, it struck me really funny, so of course I'm going to share it with you. By the way, I sent it into a columnist at the Sun Times, thinking he might publish it in his "Today's Chuckle", but he sent me back a "No, I didn't find it funny, but thanks for writing."
And Reader's Digest said they'll let me know if they publish it.
YEah, right, and the check is in the mail.
Ok, every now and then Diane fills in as a bartender, and she was called in to do so recently.
She told me this the next day what she had said, and I thought it was gold.
Here is the editted version that I sent in, so please, don't hate me, and don't hate Smidgy, these things happen.
When my wife showed up for her bartending shift recently, she noticed a couple of empty bottles sitting in front of a couple of empty stools. When inquiring about the status of the bottles to the previous bartender, she used a phrase common among bar folks; "Are these a couple of dead soldiers?"
Unfortunately, it was Memorial Day.
And REALLY unfortunately, she works at a VFW!
And there you have it.
Sorry, I still think it's funny. But I'm the guy that thinks giving blind people pointy sticks so there would be less litter in the world is funny too.
Back to the report.
When we last left this callous moron, he had just tried to put his big toe through a concrete stair in Stitch's Escape, and felll asleep on the bed packing up to leave in the morning.
Sunday morning bloomed and I felt pretty good, and then I remembered we are going to be checking into rich people territory at the Boardwalk Villas, and I felt even better.
After throwing the suitcase off of me, I even got my hopes up that I might actually for the first time be able to wear shorts today.
I sprang out of bed, took two steps and almost went down. Landing partly on "She who must not be disturbed's" bed, this of course disturbed, the she.
I couldn't believe how much my foot hurt, and especially my toe. I still haven't looked at it yet. Making it to the bathroom, I could see why. It was huge, and already turning a whiter shade of purple. Diane asked through the door if I was alright, and all I could think of saying was, "Yeah, but the clot thickens."
After a bunch of ibuprofens I could walk on it, really wasn't much choice, and I'm saving the vikes for later, just need to take care of business first and get checked in at the Boardwalk.
I threw on a suit, pulled shorts up over it and put my sneakers on without socks, no way are the foot AND socks fitting in one shoe.
Diane then made the coffee and tea run, and to see if she could latch onto one of those folding carts, which she did, while I went down to say goodbye to my old friend, Duncan.
This is the first time I ever got misty eyed talking to a yo yo, but we had been through a lot in the last week.
From there we said goodbye to POP, and I drove to the Publix on 192.
Did you know there was a liquor store right next door?
Well I did, and I picked up a small bottle of whiskey, you know, for the pain.
In Publix we picked up a couple of things, one item was these fuzzy styrofoam/paper/plasic dixie cups, that we have found to be excellent in the past for keeping cold drinks cold. We also picked up a box of chicken to eat in the room.
Then it was back into the land of the purple signs, and on to the Boardwalk.
After pulling up in front and getting the vehicle unloaded, I asked the attendant where I should park. He looked at the plates and said back home, you won't get much closer. And then he pointed, and way off in the distance I could see what looked like the Epcot parking lot, then he cackled and walked away.
Thanks.
Smidgy offered to go and park, but I wanted to know where it was so we both went. Kind of near the front is a small lot that he didn't mention, but it had a "Lot Full" sign on it.
Uh uh, I'm from Missouri, show me, and I pulled in anyway to check it out. Sure enough, there was and empty and I pulled in faster then Mr. Bean.
With a clothes bag, a huge book bag, a snack bag with pop, and some other junk, we headed in for the check in, for the first time as DVC guests.
Even with the foot it was with a song in my heart and a skip in my step that we approached the lobby.
Or is that a sting in my step and a skip in my heart?
Inside we walked right up to an open window and came face to face with;
Nurse Ratchet!
No "Welcome Home!" No "Welcome to the Boardwalk", just a "Yes?"
And a glare.
Great, of all the great Disney Cast Members, in a situation that we are unfamiliar with using someone else's points, now we get stuck with Lizzy Borden.
On the way in, we had noticed a lot of construction on the end of one wing to the left, and I prayed that with all the scaffolding they aren't still renting out those rooms.
Things went ok after ID's, no problem, then she told us our room isn't ready yet, but it will be first floor.
Diane's heart sank a bit and she said that we really wanted a balcony.
Lizzy just stared, didn' t say a word!
Finally she said, "This is it."
You just know, "Take it or leave it" was going to be the next line.
I asked where the room was, and she pulled out a map and very roughly showed us the area.
Uh oh, this seemed to be right where all the construction was going on, and I asked her about it.
"There's no construction."
Great, here we go again, just like the employee at Epcot that said, "What fountain?"
I told her there is 3 stories of scaffolding along one end of that building, and if it's not scaffolding, there are going to be a lot of lawsuits from those monkey bars.
This time the glare was for me. Dang, seems like I got a lot of the "glare" this last week. After getting her to pin it down a little closer, we finished up and went to check the situation out.
Trudging down the halls it dawned on me this is pretty stupid. Unless you are Superman with x-ray eyes, a hallway is just a hallway, yoiu can't see inside the rooms to see what is outside the window. But we did get the feeling that we wouldn't be too close to the monkey bars.
And yes I did think of using my joke, how Disney has taken out all the monkey bars because liitle kids shouldn't be drinking with monkees anyway, but I knew Nurse Ratchet wouldn't see the humor in it.
In the hallway, a family was just checking out, and approached Diane with a bag saying they didn't want to take it on the plane so here, you can have it.
Cool, free gifts, maybe something good in there. Diane thanked her, and when they were out of sight we inspected the goodies.
Yeah, right.
Two bottles of water, one bottle of Coke Zero and a bottle of skim milk. There might have been a couple of pistachio nuts in there but I had lost interest.
Still exploring the hallways, I remembered how a couple of years ago we came here just to see if we could get into the Luna Pool, which we did and spent an hour in. But first made sure to come out to the pool from the inside, like we were staying there and in walking the hallways that time, we got lost.
I remember trying a door that opened to a stairway, and inside the stairwell was another door that had a sign on it, "This door to remain closed at all times."
And I remember thinking how ridiculous that was.
If a door can't be opened and must remain closed at all times, then it ceased to exist as a door.
It then becomes part of the wall.
Walls don't open either, they're always closed.
So, it becomes a pretend door, a "just lookin at" door, since all you could do was look at it.
Now, back then, I had to find out if it indeed was a pretend door, or not, and I opened it. No sirens went off, but there were stairs that went down, down into what looked and sounded like a boiler room, I went partway down, came back up and I was satisfied.
"Ha, it's still a door, no matter what the sign says."
Well, this time we found a stairwell, but I couldn't tell if it was the same one so I opened the door and went inside.
Yep, just like the other one, or maybe the same one, and there is the pseudo door, right there.
But no sign on it.
I guess it was back to being a door.
I grabbed the door knob, slowly turned it,,,,,,
and nothing happened, it was locked.
Guess they figured out that signs aren't always enough, and just went to locking things to keep prying eyes away.
I was so proud that I finally had an influence on Disney!
Finally we were satisfied, and went to kill the time till our room was ready by the pool.
This was a real treat for me today. The last time we interloped our way into the pool, I felt like a street rat, with guilt written all over my face.
Every five minutes or so I would say in a very loud voice, "So honey, when did they say our room would be ready?"
This time with all the bags and crap we're carrying, we look like street rats.
We picked out a spot near the entrance to the slide, and right next to the hot tub, this pretty much ended up being our spot every time we came to the pool.
After stashing all our stuffage by a couple of loungers, I went 'splorin.
I found that if I walk cockeyed, I can keep most of the weight off my toe, and I needed to find a smoking area , bad.
After checking out the outside, it turns out our room will be right in between the main pool and the quiet pool, actually not a bad location.
I want to give thanks here to Tracy, aka TYRY on the Dis. She had sent us information that her husband Mark had extensively researched concerning all the quickest routes to take navigating the Boardwalk Resort.
After about 3 hours a waiting, our room was ready, and it turned out to be well away from the construction, and about as centrally located as you can get. Everything was not too far.
Not too far to the quiet pool, the main pool, the smoking area, and the bus stop. The main lobby was quite a walk though, as well as actually getting to the boardwalk.
Kudos to Mark and Tracy, your information was spot on!
Even though your Alabama route left a little to be desired.
Ok, coming up, BW pics and dinner at Cape May.
Sorry about the toe. Nothing like a negative to bring back Mr. Grumpy. Although, I really do like Grumpy from The Seven Dwarves. He's my favorite Disney character.
Going back to read all your fine stories. It's good to be back...I missed ya
Was Smidgy's hand any better at this point? Here's hoping things are about to get better 
My toe hurts just reading this - hope it got better! 
