Small town police blotter entries

[KathyTX]

I love living in the sticks (sort of)!!! This was in our little local paper this morning, a collection of some of the incident reports from the police department of one of the small towns near me:

A resident called police and reported seeing a large number of buzzards sitting on top of a house in the 400 block of ******. The caller thought someone might be dead inside the residence. Police checked the house and were unable to locate any suspicious activity or buzzards.

(There were three big buzzards sitting on my garage roof when I came home one day recently... freaked me out a bit. Then all I could think of was Splash Mountain!)

Police responded to a report of a white male approximately 14 to 17 years old hiding in the woods who was apparently spying on a teenage girl that lives across the street.

A woman reported hearing a man's voice outside in her yard. It turned out to be the announcer for the ******* High School football game.

Police were dispatched to a hold-up alarm at Johnny Joe's on ******. When officers arrived, they questioned a newly hired clerk who said that he thought the alarm button was a "fragrance button" to make the store smell better.

 

[NMAmy]

When officers arrived, they questioned a newly hired clerk who said that he thought the alarm button was a "fragrance button" to make the store smell better.



I just dearly love this guy.

 

[KathyTX]

They have a lot of trouble with ducks, too...

10 ducks were found dead in an open field. No suspects have yet to fit the bill.

Bill- duck bill- get it?

A man told police that a duck was kidnapped at the entrance of Country Lakes. The man was unable to provide a description of the duck or its abductor. An officer canvassed the area to see if there were any other witnesses and vowed to continue to work the case to prevent the duck from becoming someone's dinner.

 

[jam217]

Biscuits are causing problems, too......

Bethlehem police said two women have been charged in a brawl over a plate of biscuits and exactly who was supposed to eat them.

The alleged fight happened just after 11 p.m. Tuesday at 3120 East Blvd., Bethlehem.

Quartoia Felder, 26, who lives at the home with her boyfriend and his family, told police she baked the biscuits and put them on a plate.

Police said when other people at the home ate some of them, Felder got mad and said the biscuits were only for her. A fight broke out between Felder and her boyfriend's mother, Sandra Bryant, 52, according to police

Felder told police Bryant scratched her on the chest and arms. Bryant told officers that Felder held her in a headlock and bit her on the wrist.

Both women are charged with harassment, police said.

 

[SmallWorld71]

The police log is published each week in our local paper and always good for a few laughs. My personal favorite occurred a few months ago when a woman called police to report a robbery at her house: someone had stolen her tub of butter and her Spongebob toilet seat cover.

 

[KathyTX]

someone had stolen her tub of butter and her Spongebob toilet seat cover.

OMG!!! Not the Spongebob toilet seat cover!!!

 

[Tuffcookie]

Sounds like they better get Sheriff Andy and Deputy Fife out there on the double!

TC

 

[punkin]

Biscuits are causing problems, too......

Bethlehem police said two women have been charged in a brawl over a plate of biscuits and exactly who was supposed to eat them.

The alleged fight happened just after 11 p.m. Tuesday at 3120 East Blvd., Bethlehem.

Quartoia Felder, 26, who lives at the home with her boyfriend and his family, told police she baked the biscuits and put them on a plate.

Police said when other people at the home ate some of them, Felder got mad and said the biscuits were only for her. A fight broke out between Felder and her boyfriend's mother, Sandra Bryant, 52, according to police

Felder told police Bryant scratched her on the chest and arms. Bryant told officers that Felder held her in a headlock and bit her on the wrist.

Both women are charged with harassment, police said.

The queen of hearts
She baked some tarts
All on a summer's day

The knave of hearts
He stole those tarts

.....and the Queen put him in a headlock and bit him on the wrist....

 

[Tinkermommy]

Biscuits are causing problems, too......

Bethlehem police said two women have been charged in a brawl over a plate of biscuits and exactly who was supposed to eat them.

The alleged fight happened just after 11 p.m. Tuesday at 3120 East Blvd., Bethlehem.

Quartoia Felder, 26, who lives at the home with her boyfriend and his family, told police she baked the biscuits and put them on a plate.

Police said when other people at the home ate some of them, Felder got mad and said the biscuits were only for her. A fight broke out between Felder and her boyfriend's mother, Sandra Bryant, 52, according to police

Felder told police Bryant scratched her on the chest and arms. Bryant told officers that Felder held her in a headlock and bit her on the wrist.

Both women are charged with harassment, police said.

Those must have been some biscuits!

 

[tvguy]

The California Highway Patrol lists all the calls they get on a website, I have to monitor them at work. (cad.chp.ca.gov if you care to look for yourself)

Among my favorites...the guy that left his dental retainers on the roof of his car, and he wanted the CHP to search 4 miles of the Interstate for them.

The woman who found a baby bat in the road (at 2 am), called CHP and said it was looking for it's mother. (I'm not sure if the baby bat told her this or she was just guessing).

We've also joked that were going to open a used furniture store, go along the highway, and pick up all the furniture reportedly found in the road...chairs, sofas, mattresses, dressers and chest of drawers.

Also a lot of animals in the road, my favorite is the fact that when there is a cow in the road, they SPECIFIY what color it is....black and white.. or all black......like the officer is going to find a BROWN cowl in the road and ignore it because the calling party said it was black and white.

 

[FQ fan]

I'll never forget the day our local newpaper ran a front page story titled "Owls Attack!"

Apparently people walking their dogs in the city forest were being dive bombed by large owls. Not funny, but the headline was!!

 

[Rora]

I LOVE the football game announcer voice!!

Thanks for sharing!!

 

[bettymae1121]

Both women are charged with harassment, police said.

Well yeah, since being stupid isn't a crime...

 

[Drew Sailbum]

9-1-1 calls are too weird to be made up.

One caller reported his wife was trying to kill him by putting a moth ball in his crack pipe.

Many panic alarm buttons at banks and businesses are set off by new employees wondering "What does this button do?"

Many drunks report the "theft" of their car keys by a friend or spouse.

And loose cows and horses are specified by color. If the report is a brown horse in the road and the officer finds a white one then he knows he has multiple horses loose.

Caller reports a shark in the ocean. Uh, yeah. That is where sharks live. Call back when you find one loose in the road.

 

[threecheers9980]

The California Highway Patrol lists all the calls they get on a website, I have to monitor them at work. (cad.chp.ca.gov if you care to look for yourself)

Among my favorites...the guy that left his dental retainers on the roof of his car, and he wanted the CHP to search 4 miles of the Interstate for them.

The woman who found a baby bat in the road (at 2 am), called CHP and said it was looking for it's mother. (I'm not sure if the baby bat told her this or she was just guessing).

We've also joked that were going to open a used furniture store, go along the highway, and pick up all the furniture reportedly found in the road...chairs, sofas, mattresses, dressers and chest of drawers.

Also a lot of animals in the road, my favorite is the fact that when there is a cow in the road, they SPECIFIY what color it is....black and white.. or all black......like the officer is going to find a BROWN cowl in the road and ignore it because the calling party said it was black and white.

I was looking at that site once and I saw that someone had reported a cow in the middle of the road and said that it looked like "one of those California Happy Cows."

 

[golfgal]

Some of the small towns around here will have a section where they report who visited whom "The Joe Smiths visited the John Doe's for dinner on Saturday".

 

[quentina]

Biscuits are causing problems, too......

Bethlehem police said two women have been charged in a brawl over a plate of biscuits and exactly who was supposed to eat them.

The alleged fight happened just after 11 p.m. Tuesday at 3120 East Blvd., Bethlehem.

Quartoia Felder, 26, who lives at the home with her boyfriend and his family, told police she baked the biscuits and put them on a plate.

Police said when other people at the home ate some of them, Felder got mad and said the biscuits were only for her. A fight broke out between Felder and her boyfriend's mother, Sandra Bryant, 52, according to police

Felder told police Bryant scratched her on the chest and arms. Bryant told officers that Felder held her in a headlock and bit her on the wrist.

Both women are charged with harassment, police said.

We have the greatest neighbors, don't we??

 

[cm8]

those are really funny....we had one made the news cause she fought her brother because he ate her ribs, and she knew he did it cause she smelled the barbecue sauce on him and saw him trash the bones. Told the 911 operator that it was an emergency cause it was about to be a homicide SMH!

 

[tonilea]

I LOVE the football game announcer voice!!

Thanks for sharing!!

That actually happened to me. I was out in the yard and I kept hearing a strange voice. It took me a few minutes to realize it was the announcer at the rodeo arena.

 

[tonilea]

Some of the small towns around here will have a section where they report who visited whom "The Joe Smiths visited the John Doe's for dinner on Saturday".

Our news paper has those. One lady just drives me nuts! I don't know why I read it. She writes in first, second and third person. On the other-hand.... that may explain a lot of things about that woman.