Small Rant About My Mom

[betz]

You probably already have all these ingredients in your house. All you would have to buy would be the cream cheese and a lemon.

YELLOW CAKE

Active time: 15 min Start to finish: 1 3/4 hr (includes cooling)

2 cups cake flour (not self-rising)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs, kept at room temperature for 30 minutes
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
3/4 cup whole milk

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter and flour a 13- by 9-inch metal baking pan (not dark) or 2 (8- or 9-inch) round pans.

Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt into a bowl.

Beat butter and sugar with an electric mixer (fitted with paddle if using a standing mixer) at medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes. Beat in eggs, 1 at a time, then vanilla, and beat until thoroughly incorporated, about 5 minutes. Mix in flour mixture in 4 batches alternately with milk at low speed, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Mix until batter is just smooth, then spread evenly in pan.

Bake cake in middle of oven until it begins to pull away from sides of pan and a tester comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes (cake will be pale in color, not golden brown like a cake-mix cake). Cool 5 minutes in pan, then invert onto a rack and cool completely.

frosting
2 (8-oz.) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup confectioners sugar
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

Beat cream cheese with an electric mixer until smooth. Add confectioners sugar and beat on low speed until incorporated. Add lemon juice and beat until smooth.

When the cake has cooled frost it and garnish it with candy sprinkles or whatever you have.

 

[honeywolf7]

Thank you all for the suggestions.
Mad4themouse, the first two were my initial reactions because I was angry. The last one is because I don't want Jessica to be disappointed again next year.

 

[CajunDixie]

DH's parents are divorced and still dont get along but I made it quite clear before we ever had kids I wasnt playing the "take sides" game. If they wish to celebrate the boys birthdays we have one party with all family members invited regardless of how they feel about each other. We're talking about adults acting like adults for a few hours for the kids sake. Next year I'd suggest you plan 1 party and invite both sides of the family and the ex-husband (if you can handle that). The only expense would be cake and ice cream. There are some awesome ideas on the web for decorating your own cakes and I'm sure your DD would enjoy some of them. Or ask your DD how she wants to spend her birthday......maybe she'd rather go someplace like the zoo with a couple of friends rather than have a party with all the relatives. Its her day.......dont make it about obligations and broken promises.....make it her day to plan.

 

[honeywolf7]

Cajundixie, that's a good idea....I kind of thought seven was too young to have much input, but maybe you're right. As far as handling the ex, it would be fine except he would bring his wife and then I would bring my boyfriend and somehow I don't think that my ex would be mature enough to sit there and not say anything non-friendly to my DBF. I may not like Thom's new wife very much, but I could hold my tongue.

 

[MeanLaureen]

Becky - I can understand about Thom bringing his wife since she is Jessica's Stepmom but for the sake of your daughter couldn't you have a party TJ? I'm sure he would understand, he seems pretty sensitive to things from what you posted. Then maybe you and Jessica and he could rent a Disney movie and pop popcorn later that night for a get together.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

I kind of thought seven was too young to have much input

I have a 7 year old, she's definitely old enough to tell me what she wants to do for her birthday.

I would also probably leave the boyfriend home, unless you've been together a significant amount of time. There is a difference between a second wife and a new boyfriend.

 

[honeywolf7]

I could have a party without TJ (doesn't seem fair to have to invite the wicked witch of Fredericksburg-sorry, I told you I don't like her-and leave a sweet guy out, but for Jessica's sake I could do it.) I'm sure he'd understand...he is a sweetheart and he definitely feels that kids come first.
Gymnasticsmom, if we're talking about having a party next year (which is what we're discussing) I would have known TJ for a year and 5 months and would have been dating him for over a year and by that time he'll obviously have a very significant role in both my life and the lives of my children (assuming he's still in my life by that time, which I think is definitely a good assumption.)

 

[MeanLaureen]

I figured he would understand from how you have described him. And like her or not, like I said, she does have the role of stepmom and when the kids are with Thom she is playing that role.

Besides, TJ can get to spend more time with her than the stepmom anyway since you have custody and he only gets them on alternating weekends. I'm sure he'll think of something way fun to do.

 

[honeywolf7]

You're right (besides, it's probably not really fair for me to judge her when I know that Thom does his absolute best to cause trouble between her and me) and you're also right about TJ being able to think of a good idea of something to do with her for her birthday

 

[Bojangles]

TJ sounds really nice. Do your kids like him a lot?

 

[poohandwendy]

I suggest you do a search for the word 'mom' or 'mother' on these boards and read some of the MANY threads about people who have recently lost their mother or currently dealing with the their mother's illness.

Put this in perspective and realize you (and your children) only have so much time left with your imperfect parents. I am sure you have also disappointed your children, remember your parents are only human like you.

In other words,
Don't sweat the small stuff. As others have mentioned, make a special day for your daughter...be a part of the solution, rather than the problem.

 

[shortbun]

Hi! Sorry your Mom and Dad have been so thoughtless. I completely understand. My Mom and Dad are so into their lives that they seem to barely care about my DS-age 8- most of the time. When DS was smaller, he would act out at their house because no one was paying any attention to him. They just couldn't get out of their dysfunction long enough to see that there was an adorable 3yo there ready to love them and be loved. It broke my heart and still does but we just don't schedule that much stuff with them anymore. Sometimes my Mom says she
feels like she hardly see us.....duh, when we do see you it's not like it's a special occasion. So-we just make our own fun and DH's
parents are the doting grandparents DS needs. When he was five, we had a discussion about how my parents weren't really his
grandparents. This was his thought, how could they be-his "real"
grandparents(DH's Parents) were so loving and happy to see him-these other people must be a mistake. Really-he thought they were simply family friends we saw infrequently or were at some family events. LOL
I learned a long time ago in life this motto: If you always do what you always did then you'll always get what you always got.

I don't expect my parents to change. I've figured out where they
fit into our lives, not much and that's just the way it is. No big plans, no dissapointments. I don't set DS up for things I can forsee. All parties for him are at our house, Christmas for him is
at our house, I have Thanksgiving, I celebrate all special occasions. My parents show up for at the most an hour on most
occasions. I think my Dad is the cause of it but if my Mom won't
ask for what she wants... I'm sad for them and what they are missing. Hope you can put this in perspective and salvage your
family fun!

 

[emmy]

I agree with the majority of posters here- who have given great ideas on how to spend some time with your DD. Kids need to feel secure and loved- your time is what will accomplish this- not a big fancy cake or presents.

If you now have your children back with you- now is the time to give them some security - after all they have been through- your love and time is all that will build this- so for their sake let go of the anger and stop letting your perspective be the only one you consider when making decisions that affect Bobby and Jessica!

 

[Lanshark]

Part of being a parent is doing what is in the best interest of your child. Look at the situation and determine what is best for your daughter. It is the most mature way to handle it.

Most kids don't care about a big birthday cake. A picnic and a day at the park with you would probably be more fun than another birthday party. Try not to let your anger, resentment and unresolved issues taint your daughters relationship with her grandparents. It sounds like this issues are more between you and your Mom rather than your Mom and your daughter. Since it sounds like you've dealt with feelings of betrayal from your parents you should strive not to make the same mistakes with your kids. Those feelings don't go away, do they?

 

[honeywolf7]

The thing is that "most kids" may not care about a birthday cake, but my daughter does. I actually gave her the choice of whether she'd rather have a birthday party with her father's parents or do something else and she chose the birthday party. As for my mom, I'm still a little miffed but I'm pretty much over it.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Sooo....if you buy a birthday cake for your daughter, and it's not from your mother, it's going to UPSET your daughter??

Cakes are about $15 at a grocery store and the frosting lettering is free. Making your mother pay you back for sugar is silly.

 

[Disney Doll]

Kids need to learn to deal with disappointment. Kids need to learn that other humans are imperfect. Kids need to learn that there are people in the world who are not people of integrity. Kids need to learn that there are people in the world who do not keep their word. Kids need parents who don't make a federal case out of everything.

Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.

That is so true Disney Doll

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Very, very true. Well said!