Small DH vent

[kimmikayb]

We are a family of 6. My DH, me, DD12, DS10, DD4 and DS3. The older two kids are from my X husband, not that it matters much for this vent.

Some background, my DH takes a trip (or two) on his own every year to snowmobile. I wasn't a big fan of taking seperate trips but he loves to snowmobile, I don't. So we deal. He and I just recently took our youngest two kids to WDW and I discovered DH is not a fan of a WDW vacation. Don't get me wrong...he likes Disney but he doesn't like needing a vacation to get over a vacation and he likes to sleep....sleep late, take long naps and go to bed early. I like to go. While there in Feb, it was decided that I would bring the older kids without DH and younger kids (since they got to go).

Fast forward...I had hoped to go in September and when free dining came up I couldn't pass it up. DH and I had lengthy converstations about this. He fully encouraged me to take the trip.

NOW I have it booked, my mom decided to come, got really cheap flights and tonight DH started to make a fuss about me going!! Says I shouldn't be going without the two youngest kids (who were just there). He TOLD me to go earlier now he is starting to fuss? BTW, we are planning a family trip, all of us in 2008 (hopefully DS3 will be tall enough for most rides). We'll be in our RV then so he can sleep whenever he wants.

He and I even had lengthy discussions that this trip for the older kids would be a reward for all the hard work they do for our family. They really pitch in and help with their younger brother and sister and get awesome grades....and they were bummed not to go in February (school reasons).

He confuses me.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I am sorry for the trouble you're having!!-I would just try talking to him again and reminding him of the fact the the older 2 didn't get to go--And that given all they do to help you want to show your appreciation and given the deal you were able to get this would be the best time to do it because if you say ok I'll wait till later it would cost more====As for the little ones being upset by no return trip tell them about how sad the older 2 were when they(the little ones) got to go and they(the big ones)couldn't===If you can afford to do it again so soon try to compromise with your DH by saying that since he really wants the younger 2 to go then he should also come and give up his next snowmobile trip to do so to better fit your budget===You never know maybe if he thinks he'll have to give up his personal trip so the younger 2 can go he will agree to the original plans that much easier!!!
I hope you are able to get this worked out so you will be able to enjoy your trip to WDW with everyone who makes the trip with you!!!

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

Oooooooooo...men! and they say they can't figure us out-lol.

Just remind him that this was all discussed before you booked. I like the idea of telling him to cancel a snowmobile trip so you can go as a family before 2008.

I am sure it will all work out.

 

[kristen821]

The more I read these threads the more I realize men are all the same! My dh changes his mind when it is to late all the time it drives my crazy! He probably is a little worried about being alone with the 2 little ones for so long. He'll manage so enjoy your trip! It sounds like it will be a lot of fun.

 

[~queenie~]

what will your dh be doing if ou took all the kids and he stayed home??or does he want to go too??

 

[Dan Murphy]

What did you call it there, vent..rant..let me go back and see....vent. Yes, you every right to vent. Tell him it's a done deal, with his blessings.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You know, I think you just need to sit with him and remind him that this is a reward for the older kids.
Perhaps he lost sight of that?

 

[VSL]

what will your dh be doing if ou took all the kids and he stayed home??or does he want to go too??

That's what I'm wondering.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Does your mom live near you? If so, did your DH expect to her to help with the young ones, but now that she is going is he worried about taking care of them himself?

 

[kimmikayb]

what will your dh be doing if ou took all the kids and he stayed home??or does he want to go too??

No, he doesn't want to go. We Disneyed him out in February. He's already planning his trips for this winter on the snowmobile.

Taking all 4 kids isn't an option. My two little ones need a lot of hands on and it would take away from the older two....which is most of the reason we're going, to reward the older kids. When you have such an age difference there are different things they want to do. Honestly? I am really looking forward to this trip with the older kids because we can do more. We wouldn't even be doing this had we not gone in in February with the little kids and already had a trip planned for 2008.

Not sure what he'll do with us gone. He travels for work all the time and doesn't understand why I'm so tired taking care of everything and everyone when he is gone. This might be an eye opener for him? Make him appreciate me a little more?

 

[kimmikayb]

Does your mom live near you? If so, did your DH expect to her to help with the young ones, but now that she is going is he worried about taking care of them himself?

My mom does live close but so does his mom and all of his sisters. We usually rely on our babysitter to help out...so I don't think that's it.

I do dread coming home. I'm sure every single dish will be dirty on the counter. Although I told him I'd freeze meals for him and he told me not to bother they were going to eat out every night. I think I'll freeze a few anyways.

 

[kimmikayb]

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts. I did tell him if he had objections he should have voiced them before I booked. I was frustrated with him last night. I'll just tell him my DIS friends told me to go....or mabye I'll tell him the Tag Fairy made me do it!

 

[Nancy]

He probably thought that since your Mom was now going she could help you out with the little ones and he wouldn't have to. Sounds like what my DH would to do. I went to WDW for a trip without my kids and family, jhe said it was fine, so I booked everything and then he starts with the comments about how I'm just going off and leaving them alone. It ended up with my Mom and his Mom doing most of the work at home with our kids instead of him.

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

Remind him that the younger ones already went without the older ones also ask him if he plans on taking the two little ones on his snowmobile trip? He'll stop and think after that suggestion.

 

[kimmikayb]

Remind him that the younger ones already went without the older ones also ask him if he plans on taking the two little ones on his snowmobile trip? He'll stop and think after that suggestion.

I will do that! He's going to Texas this week, maybe I'll have all the kids packed and ready to go!

 

[Hannathy]

I think it just dawned on him he will have the kids 24/7. Too bad they are his to. GO it is important you keep your word to your kids and is only fair they stayed home now it is the other two's turn or they will feel like second class "step children". They are coming into prime self esteem problem time as it is.
I also wouldn't freeze him meals-does he freeze you meals when he goes away. I never understood this. I could understand it 30 yrs ago before microwave stuff and when almost all women stayed home but now? He'll be fine keep your plans and go or else as others have said he has to take all 4 kids snowmobiling.