Slightly OT...But is it wrong to enjoy...

[trennr]

...someone else misfortune @ WDW.

OK...here's the deal...my BIL/SIL are at WDW as we speak (type). They got down there Sunday...and today is their 4th day of one of those 4/3 specials.

So far they have had 3 rainy days.
Today they are at AK...got stuck in the top of EE...and had to be walked down.
My wife also tells me SIL is having her monthly event.

Y'all are probably thinking I'm an evil BIL

But here is the deal...my FIL took ill last year (brain tumor with dementia (spelling?))...and has been living with us since week 1 of Dec. 08...thats 6 Mos.

My wife has been taking care of him almost single handedly 24/7 (more like 36/8)...the man requires allot of assistance...as he has other issues besides the tumor.

While SIL shows up once a week for a few hours...and gives us most Saturdays off for 6-8 hours.

We have 2 kids and are pretty much tied to the house unless we can get someone to "baby-sit".

Yet SIL and BIL talk about all the stress they are under and needed this Vacation to get away from it all.

Leaving us to explain to DS 14 and DS 9 why we can't go...and leaving them feeling a little resentful toward there Grandpa...and who could blame them.

We've asked BIL and SIL to take FIL home with them for just 1 week so we can take a Vacation...they tell us they will come stay at our house...but DW would have to arrange for someone to watch him while they went to work. We don't want them in our house for a week...let alone a stranger left alone with FIL.

So am I totally evil in the joy I feel when I hear about what a rotten time they are having so far? Or is it just Karma coming back on them???

 

[adventure_woman]

At first I did think you were an evil BIL. But then when I read all that you're going through with your family, I say .

Don't feel bad.

 

[ancestry]

The Universe has a way of balancing everything out.

 

[NBFUN]

I don't feel you are wrong at all. I am a big believer in Karma and agree with you

 

[Mommy2JulietJocelyn]

I do not think you are bad at all. - I might be -- I think I would be walking around with a smile plastered to my face if it were me.

 

[budbeerlady]

Another example of "You get what you give!" (I would be smiling to myself too!)

 

[pixiewings71]

Well while I can feel sympathy for your SIL having her monthly event while she's at WDW (mine is scheduled for next weekend, when we will be at DL for my bday no less!) I do think that Karma will get them in the end.

(((HUGS))) for you and your wife, you are wonderful people to be caring for your FIL right now.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

Karma is a wonderful thing. I remind myself of that when my ex and his wife run into trouble and Im living the loving, wonderful life I deserve. Thanks for dumping me!

 

[trennr]

Thanks everyone for being so understanding...and not thinking I was being evil.

I also really needed to vent.

 

[greens_in_WA]

No expert here, but there may also be some respite services available either through the public or private venue... You could check with your local division of aging and long term care to see if there are other in-home services you can receive... even when you are home that may be covered by DSHS, such as house-keeping, nursing aid, etc. There may even be a senior center he can visit for a few hours giving him a break too.

Sorry your family is unwilling to help. Some people just don't get it.

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

Kharma baby, kharma!!!

 

[Tinker_]

...someone else misfortune @ WDW.

OK...here's the deal...my BIL/SIL are at WDW as we speak (type). They got down there Sunday...and today is their 4th day of one of those 4/3 specials.

So far they have had 3 rainy days.
Today they are at AK...got stuck in the top of EE...and had to be walked down.
My wife also tells me SIL is having her monthly event.

Y'all are probably thinking I'm an evil BIL

But here is the deal...my FIL took ill last year (brain tumor with dementia (spelling?))...and has been living with us since week 1 of Dec. 08...thats 6 Mos.

My wife has been taking care of him almost single handedly 24/7 (more like 36/8)...the man requires allot of assistance...as he has other issues besides the tumor.

While SIL shows up once a week for a few hours...and gives us most Saturdays off for 6-8 hours.

We have 2 kids and are pretty much tied to the house unless we can get someone to "baby-sit".

Yet SIL and BIL talk about all the stress they are under and needed this Vacation to get away from it all.

Leaving us to explain to DS 14 and DS 9 why we can't go...and leaving them feeling a little resentful toward there Grandpa...and who could blame them.

We've asked BIL and SIL to take FIL home with them for just 1 week so we can take a Vacation...they tell us they will come stay at our house...but DW would have to arrange for someone to watch him while they went to work. We don't want them in our house for a week...let alone a stranger left alone with FIL.

So am I totally evil in the joy I feel when I hear about what a rotten time they are having so far? Or is it just Karma coming back on them???

I just wanted to tell you that my DBF, son and I have recently been in your shoes. YOU WILL NOT REGRET what you are doing for your FIL. DBF and I moved to another state to take care of his dad who had terminal cancer. Once it got really bad, we even moved in with him so I could be with him all the time (and also, never get a break, and barely getting DS out once a week to do something fun). DBF's sister did NOTHING through this whole time. DBF's dad passed away last week, and surprise surprise, no thanks from the family (esp sister) for our sacrfices, and we were essentially pushed out of all final arrangements. MORAL OF THE STORY- at least we know we did everything we could for him, and we were there with him until his final moments. We sacrificed so much this year for him, and we know he was grateful for us even if no one else is.

I feel the same way about DBF's sister.. if karma comes back to her I will thouroughly enjoy it! So- GO YOU- and be proud of what you are doing for the greater good!!

 

[Kathymcbain]

That, my friend, is karma at it's best. Of course it wouldn't do to enjoy it tooooo much, lest you get some bad karma of your own. But no one could blame you at least a little enjoyment from their misfortune!!

 

[2002Disneybride]

I thought when I first saw this I would say, yeah you're mean-just by the title...but then reading it, absolutely not!!!!

I also wanted to mention that where I live, there is something called Caregivers who will come and give those who are caring for someone ill a break and will visit with the person etc--here in NJ it is done by volunteers... you might look into it through your Community Health Dept or Hospital.
I agree that it is great that you are caring for him, but I know sometimes you have to take care of you too so you are able to care for others.
I would ask your SIL and BIL to take on the care for a week, just so you can recharge your own batteries...

 

[sparkyboy]

I'm sorry to learn of your FIL illness but at some point you will be able to look back and not regret the stress and effort in taking care of him. Check into hospice and your community nursing services to determine what respite services are available for you as well as perhaps some in home care for him. Blessings to you.

 

[fussymonkey]

I have been in your shoes- and more importantly in your kids shoes. When I was 5 my grandma was diagnosed with Altzheimer's. We spend 3 days a week, all day long, sitting with her in the nursing home 55 miles away. I was the only grandchild to see her just before she died. I have all these memories of reading the Psalms to her, bathing her face, swabing her mouth, just being with her. My cousins hardly knew her. When my grandpag got sick when I was 16, he moved in with us so that my mom could care for him. I had aunts who lived an hour a way that were somewhat helpful, but the burden was totally on my mom (an aside: my family rocks, it was logistics and workschedules, not insensitivity on my aunts parts). I helped her empty my granfather cathedar, I drove him to doctors appointments. I stayed home with him on the days my mom had to work and failed choir class becuase I couldn't make the rehershals. I really resented it for awhile, but later as an adult, I treasured that I got to be with my grandparents so much. I treasured my mom for all she did to honor her parents. When my parents got sick, I followed thier example and did everything possible for them.

The point of the story is don't enjoy your IL's pain- what you sow, so also shall you reap. Karma works both ways. When they are elderly and in need of care, what have they taught thier children? That you don't stop your life for an ailing parent. You will have taught your kidst to value family, to behave with honor, to honor duty. THAT's when you'll have the last laugh.

In the mean time- its s'posed to rain all week. heh.

 

[trennr]

They were totally bummed about Space Mt. being closed...they didn't know...I didn't tell. ...(ok that may have been a little evil)

Read there were Tornado warnings yesterday...

And I looked at the weather the remainder of their trip...at least 50% chance of T-Storms.

It's not like I'm wishing their whole trip is a bust...nor do I wish to see them have a totally rotten time.

After all it is WDW...there is always some Magic. And Fun will be had.

But me enjoying a minor scale adjustment to which they receive said Magic and Fun being deminished...I believe I can live with that and the personal Karma set backs that come with it.

However...I have to admit...I'm feeling a little guilty. a little

Hope they have a rather uneventful remainder of their trip...and a safe journey home.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

 

[sk!mom]

I'm truly sorry for the stress that your family is under.

Having said that, yes, I think you're wrong to take joy in someone else's misfortune. I'm a believer in karma and I think you're putting out some bad karma.

I applaud you and your wife for taking in your FIL but if it's too much for you or your family then by all means get help or move him to some type of assisted facility and visit often- daily. I think it's unfair to blame your sil and bil for not doing what you view as "enough." If they work all week and then care for him on Sat. maybe that's all they can do. It doesn't soud as if they are totally ignoring him.

We all make choices- don't get mad at others for the choices that you and your wife made.

 

[crzy4my2]

Karma works both ways. When they are elderly and in need of care, what have they taught thier children? That you don't stop your life for an ailing parent. You will have taught your kidst to value family, to behave with honor, to honor duty. THAT's when you'll have the last laugh.

In the mean time- its s'posed to rain all week. heh.

I completely agree with you