Sleepovers

[Hillbeans]

My mom never let me go to sleepovers as a child (ok, I was allowed to go to one sleepover a year) and we've not had any sleepovers at my house because DH travels so much for work. DS 9 is sleeping over at a friend's house but the last time he did he stayed up past 1 am. I told him that if he sleeps over he needs to be in bed by 11 so he's not completely zonked the next day. Is that normal/unreasonable for me to ask? His normal bedtime during the school week is 9:30. Thanks!

 

[Liberty Belle]

My mom never let me go to sleepovers as a child (ok, I was allowed to go to one sleepover a year) and we've not had any sleepovers at my house because DH travels so much for work. DS 9 is sleeping over at a friend's house but the last time he did he stayed up past 1 am. I told him that if he sleeps over he needs to be in bed by 11 so he's not completely zonked the next day. Is that normal/unreasonable for me to ask? His normal bedtime during the school week is 9:30. Thanks!

I do think it's unreasonable to ask. Well, to expect it, anyway. DS has friends over and they stay up, usually until around 2. Hasn't hurt them yet. We do make them stay in the bedroom and try to make them stay in bed once midnight hits, but it's very hard to resist playing, especially when you don't get very many sleepovers!

 

[JessicaR]

I had sleepovers as a kid and went to plenty as well. My kids now 13 and 17 have had plenty as well. Bedtime curfews just aren't practical. Sleepovers are part of growing up and so so much fun too! My opinion of course. They can lose a little sleep in lieu of fun occasionally.

 

[Acklander]

When the kids sleep over (or have a sleep over) I just accept the fact that he will be tired and will want to go to bed early the next day. Staying up way past your bed time and playing is the point

 

[Microcell]

If we have definite plans the next day, I usually tell my kids no.. if they have to be alert for a long day then I don't even bother saying yes.

If I don't want them to fight becuase they are grouchy I explain that there will be consequences if they do after a sleepover.

Good luck!

 

[debster812]

DS does not go on, or have a ton of sleepovers, but when he does, all bets are off as far as I'm concerned. He actually stayed over at a friend's house 2 nights ago, in the height of the 'blizzard'. As near as we can figure, the boys were up until at least 2am, possibly later. And they had a blast playing video games, and DS apparently was sleeping on the couch which is normally the dog's spot. He wound up on the floor at some point, because their big goofy dog kind of pushed him off the couch.

I picked him up around noon yesterday, he was out sledding yesterday afternoon, and in bed by 10pm last night. He seems none the worse for wear.

Disclosure--he's 13, and his normal school night bedtime is 10-10:15.

 

[marcyinPA]

I think for a school vacation, they can stay up until whenever, and then sleep the next day. If you need for him to be up and out early for something tomorrow, I would have nixed the sleepover.

My oldest would have fallen asleep anyway, but my youngest has gone to sleepovers and has stayed up ALL NIGHT and never slept. He's miserable the next day, but I let him sleep as long as possible.

 

[MushyMushy]

Yeah, it's unreasonable. I remember many many childhood sleepovers fondly. We stayed up all night talking and laughing.

 

[Hannathy]

Sleepover is a total misnomer! Who sleeps? I think it is totally unreasonable to put a curfew on. He isn't at your house. And 11 is way early for a sleepover. 1 or 2 you may have more of a chance.
Who cares if he is up late it is winter break that is what winter break is for. Let him have fun and be a kid, no sleep for 1 night never killed anyone yet and it is getting him ready for college, LOL.



PS how do you expect him to carry out your order? leave the kid he is staying with if they are watching a movie in the family room and go to bed at 11? Or insist the other kid go to bed? that isn't his place to do that.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I agree with everyone else...no curfew & if u had plans the next day you should've said no.

Besides going to bed early makes him the target for practical jokes.

 

[C.Ann]

DGD (12) had her best friend here last night and the night before.. They are encouraged to go into the bedroom when everyone else is retiring for the night.. The first night they were awake until 1:30 a.m. - last night they zonked out about 12:30 a.m.. As long as they are quiet and respectful of others (and there's no school the next day) they're allowed to stay awake in the bedroom and talk quietly, watch tv, etc.. There's never been a problem and they are extremely cautious in terms of getting loud and disturbing anyone else..

I think the main "draw" of sleep-overs is the idea of staying up until all sorts of weird hours.. As long as all parents are in agreement, the kids are not doing things they shouldn't be, and they show respect for others in the house, "curfews" aren't really necessary.. And the big plus is that you know exactly where they are and who they're with..

 

[lovetoscrap]

If DD10 has a sleepover at our house I do insist on them settling down in bed by about 10pm and get cranky with them if they aren't asleep by 11 because that is about when I am going to bed. I don't want them awake and getting into trouble if I am asleep and also I don't want keeping me awake!!

DD15 gets more latitude since she and her friends are older and pretty responsible, but they are usually asleep long before 11pm!

When they go to a friend's house I know that it is likely they could be up all night. Usually they are up way later than I would like but I plan on a nap time for them the day after. If we have any type of plans or something I need them to be useful for then the sleepover isn't allowed.

 

[Hillbeans]

Thanks everyone for letting me know i'm being unreasonable...LOL

At least I tried....oh well

 

[clh2]

If you want control over the bedtime of a sleepover...you must have them at your house! There are certain things you can control at your house...i.e. movie at 10...lights out& quiet by midnight etc...

But - if the sleepover is at someone else's house...then they set the parameters.

An alternative to sleeping over at a friend's house - is to try to find out the plans, and tell the host - Johnny can stay over until the "main activity" is over, and then I need to pick him up.

 

[design_mom]

Our rule with DS is that lights go off at 11pm (that includes tv, video games, etc.). They can stay up chatting in their sleeping bags if they want, but they are usually asleep shortly after that. When sleeping at friends' houses, there seem to be similar rules. Although at a recent birthday party, The kids stayed up till midnight. (DS was stoked!)

If we have an early commitment, we generally don't allow the sleepover... Although the kids seem to get up plenty early anyhow. They want to get more playtime in before pick-up time.

 

[JessicaR]

If you want control over the bedtime of a sleepover...you must have them at your house! There are certain things you can control at your house...i.e. movie at 10...lights out& quiet by midnight etc...

But - if the sleepover is at someone else's house...then they set the parameters.

An alternative to sleeping over at a friend's house - is to try to find out the plans, and tell the host - Johnny can stay over until the "main activity" is over, and then I need to pick him up.

Oh no - just say no if this is the case. Sorry just sounds like NO fun to me.

 

[JessicaR]

Question for those that have a regimented bedtime set for a sleepover - why?
In all seriousness why can they not just stay up, have fun and get to sleep earlier the next night?

 

[Kat77]

I think it is unreasonable to try to govern what happens in others homes. If you have an event early the next day you should expect him to get 'some' sleep or chose not to go but be aware 1AM bedtime is perfectly normal for sleepovers. We never let the kids party all night, we typically shoo them to bed around midnight in hopes they will fall asleep by 1 or 2. AND We're the strict parents Others we know, allow kids to stay up all night as long as they are in their rooms and reasonably quiet. Poor DH can't deal with all nighters but he could care less if the kids do it elsewhere. It's part of being a kid. As long as they are not being naughty, it's all good fun.
I wanted to add slumber parties are a whole other ballgame. No one sleeps at a slumber party! It's dangerous to fall asleep...

 

[JessicaR]

I think it is unreasonable to try to govern what happens in others homes. If you have an event early the next day you should expect him to get 'some' sleep or chose not to go but be aware 1AM bedtime is perfectly normal for sleepovers. We never let the kids party all night, we typically shoo them to bed around midnight in hopes they will fall asleep by 1 or 2. AND We're the strict parents Others we know, allow kids to stay up all night as long as they are in their rooms and reasonably quiet. Poor DH can't deal with all nighters but he could care less if the kids do it elsewhere. It's part of being a kid. As long as they are not being naughty, it's all good fun.
I wanted to add slumber parties are a whole other ballgame. No one sleeps at a slumber party! It's dangerous to fall asleep...

Hahahaha soooo true!

 

[quasar4legs]

We had lots of weekend sleepovers at our house and the general rule was that we didn't want to hear the kids after 2am as both hubby and I need our beauty sleep
What time the kids went to sleep usually depended on their age, the specific mix of kids and the number of kids.

If there was only one friend we found the kids tended to go to sleep earlier so maybe that would be a good place to start. Personally I always loved to have a house full of boys, it is a fun time.