skipping grades?

[binny]

I know this is controversial but just in a general sense and without me going into a lot of detail ( so as not to be misconstrued as bragging).

I want to know what anyone's experience with skipping a grade has been.


I would really appreciate opnions, thanks
Binny

 

[FreshTressa]

No experience, just some thoughts....

I think it would totally depend on how mature the child was. If they hung out with older kids and acted older, then go for it.

If the child was still a little insecure and right on track for age, I would try to find another way to supplement or challenge the child.

Is a gifted program an option?

 

[binny]

that IS the challenge program. They want to put him in a full time challenge only program and skip a grade and they arent even sure about that.

When we went to interview the school she ( the teacher for 4th and 5th grade challenge) watched him do the math on the board and she said " If he can do that he doesnt need me!"

Help.

 

[FreshTressa]

Wow, well if it is with other gifted kids, then it is a different ballgame. I would go for it. There is nothing worse than being bored in school.

What a bright little cookie you have there!

 

[Cindy B]

Well, I technically started school early.. than the usual age. Not entirely skipping, but at a very young four... (just turned) went to full fledged kindergarten.

Then we moved after kindergarten, and I was supposed to go to K again due to the cut off date being different in this new district.

My mom pressed, and I wound up in first grade instead of kindergarten. Technically I should have repeated k, but I read at age 2-3, and was doing math, etc... I was in the first grade.

Because of this I was consistently the youngest one my entire school career (even in college). It was fine in the elementary age, but in the higher grades/high school/college, it was a challenge. The challenge started in 5th grade, and continued until I was in college.

I was the last one to get a license, last one to have a birthday, and last one to do many social things. Socially it was rough for me, and it was a challenge being the youngest, smallest, shortest, and it hurt a lot. My social skills lacked as well.

I was academically prepared for most things and school wasn't a struggle until I hit college. Now that I am back in college, I still see it as "fairly easy", even though I am working, and with family.

I had a friend that I dated who skipped most of high school, and went directly to college. (He was a college freshman at 15, graduated at 17!). He was insanely intelligent, but his social skills were well... not truly mature. Super nice guy, but he talked to "impress", and was not truly relatable.. He could tell you the square root of any number, and many math formulas.. but to talk about "normal" everyday stuff was tough.

My DH had a similiar situation.. when he transferred from one school to another, he had enough credits he technically skipped 11th grade.... but this was military school, so his experience is different. He went from 10th grade (military school), to 12th grade (military school)... but this is different situation of course.

I have to say that I hated being the youngest. I even remember telling my mother that I wish I was held back.

 

[disykat]

I was just a little young , so it was fine - but I wouldn't have wanted to be any younger. I had silly problems like getting scheduled for driver's ed before I was old enough to get my permit, not being able to get a dorm key without a parent signature etc.

Since this is a gifted program, they may have other kids in the same position. If not, I'd lean towards keeping him with his agemates. Most gifted programs probably do big projects where he can work at his own level anyway. Maybe he can just move up for math time?

 

[jrmasm]

I'd say go for it but do it now!!!! IMO the younger the better. I skipped 8th grade and socially it was extreemly difficult (ninth graders are always so nice). I have a June birthday so I was already young. Being the youngest (even by a year and a half) never bothered me. It was the lack of acceptance by my new peers that was a problem.

I wouldn't hesitate to move my DD (another June birthday) up a year but I'd want it to be before middle school.

 

[Minnie824]

When I was in 2nd grade, I could have skipped to 4th grade. One of my friends also had that opportunity - just the 2 of us. We both ended up not doing it. I'm very glad. Due to my birthday, I was already young in the class and the other girl moved away that year, so I would have been on my own. Plus, my best friend still, now 20 years later, would have never had classes with me. I would have missed doing all the fun events with her.

 

[Karel]

I'll throw in what I perceive as a positive experience. My daughter's friend was moved into first grade the spring of their kindergarten year. Then in the fall, she moved right into second grade (while her age group was in first). From what I see and hear, this was a great move for her. I see her on the playground daily and she fits right in with that group.

My husband, a September birthday, was the youngest in his class and always talks about how he was the last one to get a license, he couldn't go 'out' with the others etc. so those feelings of being the youngest also occur naturally too.

I would look at the ages of the group he would be moving into. Will his personality fit with the group?

 

[tar heel]

I would never, ever under any circumstances consider putting a boy ahead a grade. Boys mature later -- you may not see this until adolescence. The best advice our preschool director gave us was -- "This child is beyond any I've seen before, but he's still a little boy. Whatever you do, don't let anyone talk you into skipping a grade." Academically, his early years would have been better if he had skipped a couple grades, but I can't imagine how awful his middle school years would have been. As it was, he had AG by himself because it wasn't offered to kids under grade 4 except in exceptional circumstances. By the time his little brother came along 10 years later, there was an AG class for highly gifted kids in the early grades.

A woman who works for my dh had her son to skip fifth grade. He is brilliant and totally bilingual. He also looks like he's about nine years old. Not surprisingly, it didn't go well. The next year they moved him to an accelerated private school -- the same one my son attended in grades 4-8 -- where he was placed in the appropriate grade again. If he had skipped earlier, he still would have ended up in sixth grade (a brutal time socially) looking like he should have been in elementary school.

I'm not sure I would overplay the math on the board thing. When my son was in 5th grade, his school had a 5-8 middle school and he scored the highest on the Math Counts qualifying test. Because that is a contest for grades 6-8, they actually had to get permission for him to compete and he made it to the top 10 out of several hundred kids in the regional contest. But he did NOT know all the math a middle schooler is supposed to know. He just knew THAT MATH and he could solve problems he didn't totally understand.

Binny, there are no easy answers, but I'm pretty sure skipping a grade isn't it. You will find that other bright children will catch up to him some later (middle/high school). I don't mean that they will be smarter than him -- they won't. He'll still be the brightest, but he will no longer have a vocabulary 10 years beyond his age.

 

[piratesmate]

Unfortunately, that was not an option for us...DD spent all of elem doing "busy work" - as in already knew the material. Our gifted program isn't the greatest & the district NEVER lets a child skip a grade.

Re: the age thing - DD has a May b'day and is one of the youngest in her class. Many parents in our district keep their May-Aug babies back a year so they won't be the youngest. Then many of those kids end up doing transitional first. DD started first grade with kids who were 2 years older than she was & on whom she didn't even come to their shoulders.

My point is that you can have the age gap and all the associated "problems" - even without skipping a grade. I would think that if this IS the gifted program, there will be others in the same position. Being bored in school may not seem like a bad thing to some. . . . but not having to work at school can set a bad precedent for life. (Been there, done that. )

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

binny, feel free to pm me.

I have two sons - age 13 and 11. They are both in classes several years ahead of their agemates. However, they are both interested in college athletics... so will likely stay in high school and graduate at the "normal" time. Possibly with an AA degree as well as a high school diploma.

Acceleration has been the perfect answer for us. The kids have more friends now than ever and things are going very well.

Pm me if you want to chat more in depth!

 

[binny]

wow thanks for all the replys! Thats what I was hoping for the positive and the negative.

I have to weigh it all before I make my decision. This is a 4th/5th grade combo class. They do have one 3rd grader too who is techinally a 4th grader now.

I know this isnt an all or nothing answer and they have left the door open if it doesnt work out. Theyre just concerned that he will grow to hate school because he's so bored.


Im still debating so any thing I can hear about it will really help me.
Thanks again

 

[bsnyder]

We opted not to skip our younger son when that option was presented, at the end of 2nd grade.

We moved him, instead, to a academically challenging private school. It was a big trauma, at the time. He was in a catholic school (with his older brother) and my ex husband (and in laws) were very upset about the move.

But I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do for him. He thrived in his new environment (well, until 8th grade, when he got more interested in girls than schoolwork, but that's another thread, LOL!)

Good luck, Binny. Just weigh all the options, and then go with your gut. You know your child best!

 

[Lynn CC]

I think there is always enrichment options that should be offered to the student before letting them skip a grade, mostly for maturity reasons. There are plenty of options available with a little searching. See if they can get into some kind of program to supplement their intelligence.

 

[Laura]

It really isn't a cut and dried answer. I could have skipped first grade and gone straight to 2nd but wasn't really allowed. The school district had me take a test but I didn't pass because I was sick. They wouldn't let me re-take it -- understandable, really.

So I went to 1st grade and spent the entire year reading in the corner. And I was reading at a fourth grade level in kindergarten, so the first grade books were pretty boring. See Spot Run and that sort of thing. I didn't learn much, and I also learned I could barely do any work and ace everything. Not a good way to teach me a good work ethic, eh? It would have been better had I gone to 2nd grade. It would have been harder and thus better for me.

There were no gifted programs for me in this district, either; skipping a grade was my only hope. If you have other options than accelerating a grade, I would try them first for socialization reasons.

 

[jrmasm]

I think there is always enrichment options that should be offered to the student before letting them skip a grade, mostly for maturity reasons. There are plenty of options available with a little searching. See if they can get into some kind of program to supplement their intelligence.

If only it were that simple. What is the bored kid supposed to do all day while in school. Children are required by law to attend school between certain ages but ironically schools are not really required by law to meet the needs of the child.

I realize that there are laws on the books to protect children however, how kids that require additional support are truly having their needs met????

Binny, I think it's great the school that your son attends seems truly concerned about what is best for him!

 

[binny]

I have reasearched everything they have to offer, he is in the most advanced classes but the TEACHERS are the ones who told me they couldnt do enough for him. That he was beyond what they had experience with.

We are "interviewing" (for lack of a beter word) 2 more schools.

They are both full time Gate programs but all of the schools have wanted to bump him up a grade.
He is big for age right now and, being the oldest, does well with older kids. I think he could do this and do well with it. I just worry so much.

 

[piratesmate]

Originally posted by jrmasm
If only it were that simple. What is the bored kid supposed to do all day while in school. Children are required by law to attend school between certain ages but ironically schools are not really required by law to meet the needs of the child.
..........

I was going to say the same thing. Ideally, there should not only be other options, but the schools should allow students to take advantage of the options without having to do it at home. I'm not trying to get out of my share of the burden here. But I don't think it's in the best interest of the child when all options are rejected by the school & you're told "do it on your own time!" It isn't right to have a child required to spend 7 hours a day at school, plus homework for school & then have to teach whole other lessons during the evening! This was the option we were given by our school - and moving was not an option. Believe me, we'd be long gone if it were possible!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by piratesmate
I was going to say the same thing. Ideally, there should not only be other options, but the schools should allow students to take advantage of the options without having to do it at home. I'm not trying to get out of my share of the burden here. But I don't think it's in the best interest of the child when all options are rejected by the school & you're told "do it on your own time!" It isn't right to have a child required to spend 7 hours a day at school, plus homework for school & then have to teach whole other lessons during the evening! This was the option we were given by our school - and moving was not an option. Believe me, we'd be long gone if it were possible!

I can relate! Keep being the squeaky wheel and you will find teachers that agree with you and will do something about it. Persistence is the key.... and they won't like you one bit, but keep at it.