skipping a MDR and your server...

[ptcbass]

Thanks everyone! I am also glad to see we are not the only ones that feel this way. We didn't miss dinner but just didn't stop in for lunch (not even knowing our server was in there!) and we felt bad. This next cruise I will know how to handle it and not feel bad about it.

I will let them know if we are skipping the MDR and enjoy my meal (where ever we decide to have it) guilt free. After all the server is still getting the same amount of money. And yes we are spending a lot for the vacation and should do what we want to do.

Thanks everyone!!

 

[goofynut41]

Its your vacation, you should be able to do what you want to, or I do anyway.. You paid a lot of money for the cruise shouldn't have to be tied down to a schedule. That's the way I think anyway....

 

[ptcbass]

We usually got to WDW a couple of days before. Between fast passes and ADR's we are ready to relax with less of a schedule on the cruise. We just took our first cruise and I really thought there would be a little more down time. We even stayed up till about 1 in the morning to have some extra time. We really did feel like we needed a "do-over" so we booked another one and this time I will know what to expect and will do a few things differently.

 

[Dug720]

In my two previous cruises I've done Palo the first night - once was with my family (all adults), and we were concierge so we didn't hold anyone up. The second time I was solo, but since I hadn't had a meal with my servers yet, there was no way to let them know (if anyone knows of a way to communicate this on embarkation day, would be great to know for the future).

Assuming the rotations for the Fantasy Eastern C are the same as the Fantasy Eastern cruises now, I will be able to notify them since I have a request for AP for Pirate night - which would put AP (my personal fave) the first night.

 

[clten]

(if anyone knows of a way to communicate this on embarkation day, would be great to know for the future).

There are a couple of ways to do it. You can speak to Guest Services and ask them to pass along the message. I find this hit or miss if they get the message in time. So I recommend speaking to the head server. If you have early dinner, go to the restaurant that is open for lunch on embarkation day. Ask to speak to the head server and let him/her know the restaurant you are dining in that evening and your table #. They will get the message to the correct person. If you have late dinner, you can do this same thing or after early seating is seated, go to the restaurant you are scheduled for that evening and speak to the head server working the door. Since this is the dining staff your server is a part of, they will definitely get the message before second seating starts.

 

[firsttimemom]

We were told the MDR staff knows when you have reservations at Palo/Remy.

 

[SillyInventor]

Thanks everyone! I am also glad to see we are not the only ones that feel this way. We didn't miss dinner but just didn't stop in for lunch (not even knowing our server was in there!) and we felt bad. This next cruise I will know how to handle it and not feel bad about it.

On our recent cruise we did breakfast and (on sea days) some lunch in Cabanas. No problem. We even met our MDR servers there for two days as they also rotate into Cabanas.

 

[SillyInventor]

We were told the MDR staff knows when you have reservations at Palo/Remy.

That's what I thought, but on our recent cruise the MDR staff denied this. I miscalculated the night before, but told a table mate why we wouldn't join MDR that night. No problem. MDR staff asked if we liked Palo and just continued serving the MD. They were awesome.

 

[ptcbass]

Ok , as a never cruised person, this baffles me!
Is a tip given at EACH meal-is that why they are miffed?

I don't understand it either. I seems as if someone didn't show for dinner it would mean less work and people to keep up with. I doubt very many people reduce the tip amount so they are still getting their money.

 

[tweis]

I don't understand it either. I seems as if someone didn't show for dinner it would mean less work and people to keep up with. I doubt very many people reduce the tip amount so they are still getting their money.

No, we most definitely did not reduce gratuities even though we only dined in the MDR 2 nights out of a 4 night cruise. Our servers knew we were going to Palo (they already knew before we told them) and we decided last minute to skip the MDR in favor of a late dinner in Cabana's. We definitely got a bit of a scolding for going to Cabana's.

 

[JohnDS]

We do not feel guilty when we skip for Palo or Remy's. We always tell our servers the night before. But, our most recent cruise, the servers acted put out that we weren't going to dine with them the next night. It rubbed me the wrong way.

Our server acted like a clingy ex when we wanted to dine elsewhere, I really disliked the service in the MDR.

 

[tweis]

Our server acted like a clingy ex when we wanted to dine elsewhere, I really disliked the service in the MDR.

Best description ever!!

 

[for my family]

I don't understand it either. I seems as if someone didn't show for dinner it would mean less work and people to keep up with. I doubt very many people reduce the tip amount so they are still getting their money.

I think they truly like waiting on us, and they get sad when we're not there.

 

[mmcxiiad]

I think they truly like waiting on us, and they get sad when we're not there.

That depends. We have done 4 cruises... 3 were on the DCL.

The first was with 3 kids. Second was 4 kids and 3 other family members. On both of those the waitstaff was FANTASTIC. Especially the latter of the two.

The last cruise we went on was jut my wife and I. It was a 7 night cruise. We asked to sit at a table by ourself. While we enjoyed the feeling of every night was a date night, we also often felt ignored from the entire staff. . When we did see the server and assistant, they were nice and friendly. But then they would disappear for long periods of time. And the head server only made a couple of cameo appearences. After several days of this, it started to feel like we were ignored.

We did eat at both Palo and Remy and told them the night before. They were sad that we wouldn't be there and said to have a nice time.

In the end, we choose to lower all three of the gratuities. First we only had service on 5 out of 7 nights. But also we just didn't feel that they earned the standard tip. I have worked as a waiter through college and understand the "joys" of the service business. Typically I am very generous with tips.

But on the other hand tips are earned not a preset amount. This is true even on the DCL. All you have to do is go to guest services before the day to disembark and you can adjust the tips up or down.

At our final breakfast, we saw our servers when they came to the table to take our order. Then when we got our food. We waited around for 20 minutes after we were down to say goodbye and give them the envelope and they never came. Eventually we left them on the table and walked away.

I truly believe good service should always go rewarded. Tipping should be an expected amount included in the cost of eating out. But on the other hand, the quality of service (or lack there of) should determine the tip amount; not what someone else tells you that you have to tip.

 

[sweetpee_1993]

That depends. We have done 4 cruises... 3 were on the DCL. The first was with 3 kids. Second was 4 kids and 3 other family members. On both of those the waitstaff was FANTASTIC. Especially the latter of the two. The last cruise we went on was jut my wife and I. It was a 7 night cruise. We asked to sit at a table by ourself. While we enjoyed the feeling of every night was a date night, we also often felt ignored from the entire staff. . When we did see the server and assistant, they were nice and friendly. But then they would disappear for long periods of time. And the head server only made a couple of cameo appearences. After several days of this, it started to feel like we were ignored. We did eat at both Palo and Remy and told them the night before. They were sad that we wouldn't be there and said to have a nice time. In the end, we choose to lower all three of the gratuities. First we only had service on 5 out of 7 nights. But also we just didn't feel that they earned the standard tip. I have worked as a waiter through college and understand the "joys" of the service business. Typically I am very generous with tips. But on the other hand tips are earned not a preset amount. This is true even on the DCL. All you have to do is go to guest services before the day to disembark and you can adjust the tips up or down. At our final breakfast, we saw our servers when they came to the table to take our order. Then when we got our food. We waited around for 20 minutes after we were down to say goodbye and give them the envelope and they never came. Eventually we left them on the table and walked away. I truly believe good service should always go rewarded. Tipping should be an expected amount included in the cost of eating out. But on the other hand, the quality of service (or lack there of) should determine the tip amount; not what someone else tells you that you have to tip.

Very intelligent post. Enjoyed the perspective. Thanks for sharing.

 

[ptcbass]

Thank you! I believe a tip should be earned too and now days it is more of a expectation regardless of the service.

I do think that on cruises the passengers get caught up in the servers stories and tip based on that too. They all have a hardship story to tell and so in tipping them good you feel as if you are helping them and their family out (even if they didn't give good service).

I just don't get them being upset if we aren't there. They see LOTS of families so missing one every once in a while can't be that big of a deal. I wonder if some of their tables don't show up if Disney gives them more work in another area to do.

 

[over50visits]

We don't feel bad, but we absolutely let them know we won't be there. Just common courtesy. And since they are there for us because we reserved our table as part of the cruise deal, our seats remain empty whether we are there or not, and they are there for us no matter what. So, of course, we give them at least the recommended tip. I appreciate they are there so we can change our mind at the last minute.