Sister Wives

[mi*vida*loca]

I feel like they were much happier before robin. They were flowing along. Kids the same ages, doing the same things in life, they had a rhythm. Then comes robin popping out infants, legally marrying kodi, taking up a lot of his time. It threw them for a huge loop that they can’t recover from.

Even when they got to Vegas the two who loved the Vegas situation the most was robin and Meri. Meri because she was already withdrawn and got her own house and “freedom” and robin because she moved up and got most of kodi’s time. Janelle and Christine are IMO the ones who are more about the family and the polygamist lifestyle so they did not like the changes at all. They wanted all of their kids to be raised together and that fell apart.

 

[bethbuchall]

I think it worked well for them when all the kids were young, and they were all basically at them same stage in life. Christine was able to be the stay-at-home mom to all the kids during the day which she loved. Meri and Janelle had jobs that they found fulfilling and knew that their kids were loved and well taken care of with family. The wives were busy enough with young children that the reduced time/intimacy with Kody wasn’t as big a deal. It wasn’t perfect, but overall it worked well. Then, Robyn entered the picture, and he was, of course, more starry eyed because she was new and didn’t yet come with all the mundane baggage the others carried. I think Christine always wanted to be the last wife.

Kody seems to thrive on drama and change and keeping everyone unsettled. Then Meri had an empty nest but didn’t have the support she needed to deal with it because no one else was in that stage of life. (Not that she helped herself at all either.) Now, Christine is beginning to realize that as her house empties that she wants more from her relationship with Kody, but he’s giddily playing house with Robyn still. Robyn is insecure in her position so needs to always assert it which annoys the other wives. Kody has completely iced Meri out. If he had only one wife, he’d need to actually work on his relationship instead of ignoring it in favor of one that is currently easier. The whole group is just not right for each other, and Kody is the worst.

 

[BellaBaby]

I think it worked well for them when all the kids were young, and they were all basically at them same stage in life. Christine was able to be the stay-at-home mom to all the kids during the day which she loved. Meri and Janelle had jobs that they found fulfilling and knew that their kids were loved and well taken care of with family. The wives were busy enough with young children that the reduced time/intimacy with Kody wasn’t as big a deal. It wasn’t perfect, but overall it worked well. Then, Robyn entered the picture, and he was, of course, more starry eyed because she was new and didn’t yet come with all the mundane baggage the others carried. I think Christine always wanted to be the last wife.

Kody seems to thrive on drama and change and keeping everyone unsettled. Then Meri had an empty nest but didn’t have the support she needed to deal with it because no one else was in that stage of life. (Not that she helped herself at all either.) Now, Christine is beginning to realize that as her house empties that she wants more from her relationship with Kody, but he’s giddily playing house with Robyn still. Robyn is insecure in her position so needs to always assert it which annoys the other wives. Kody has completely iced Meri out. If he had only one wife, he’d need to actually work on his relationship instead of ignoring it in favor of one that is currently easier. The whole group is just not right for each other, and Kody is the worst.

This sums it up perfectly IMO

 

[bethbuchall]

Additionally, in the beginning, being a polygamous family was different enough to be a draw for the show. Now, they need to keep topping ridiculous behavior to keep the show that they depend on financially.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I think it worked well for them when all the kids were young, and they were all basically at them same stage in life. Christine was able to be the stay-at-home mom to all the kids during the day which she loved. Meri and Janelle had jobs that they found fulfilling and knew that their kids were loved and well taken care of with family. The wives were busy enough with young children that the reduced time/intimacy with Kody wasn’t as big a deal. It wasn’t perfect, but overall it worked well. Then, Robyn entered the picture, and he was, of course, more starry eyed because she was new and didn’t yet come with all the mundane baggage the others carried. I think Christine always wanted to be the last wife.

Kody seems to thrive on drama and change and keeping everyone unsettled. Then Meri had an empty nest but didn’t have the support she needed to deal with it because no one else was in that stage of life. (Not that she helped herself at all either.) Now, Christine is beginning to realize that as her house empties that she wants more from her relationship with Kody, but he’s giddily playing house with Robyn still. Robyn is insecure in her position so needs to always assert it which annoys the other wives. Kody has completely iced Meri out. If he had only one wife, he’d need to actually work on his relationship instead of ignoring it in favor of one that is currently easier. The whole group is just not right for each other, and Kody is the worst.

And these things happen in monogamous relationships. Now that times 4. Ouch!!

 

[bethbuchall]

And these things happen in monogamous relationships. Now that times 4. Ouch!!

Yes! I had a difficult adjustment when my youngest went off to college, but my husband was right there by my side to figure out how to navigate the changes. If he suddenly spent less time with me to focus on another wife who still had little kids around, I would have been completely lost.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

The discussion they had on last night's show was really interesting and revealing. As messed up as they are, it was actually nice to hear them being honest and expressing their individual feelings about their situation.

I think it all boils down to Kody. He brought them all together. He's the common denominator that links them. He's said many times, including last night, that he wishes the wives would just figure out their relationships. Nope! Kody needs to take responsibility and help bring the family together. That's not to say the wives can't or shouldn't have their own relationships with each other. They definitely need to figure out how they want to interact. But Kody needs to take an active role. He can start by treating them equally. It seems like he can cut down on some of the jealously with better communication. From what Christine said, he just disappears for days and then shows up unannounced. He needs to take responsibility for his role and change his own behavior. Just telling the wives to figure things out is a huge cop out.

I've been reading reports that Meri left the family, and others that say she hasn't. It's very apparent that Kody is no longer in love with her. It seems that she wants to work on the relationship but he's not interested. Janelle seems like she really wants to work on the family as a whole. I almost feel like she is the glue that's holding them together right now, not Kody. Christine seems unhappy and defeated. It was sad when she expressed how jealous she still gets. You have to wonder what she expected when she became a third wife. But then again, is Kody making it worse by his actions? It was also sad when Robyn asked if the problems started when she joined the family. Janelle was the only one who strongly told her no, that wasn't the case. The others didn't say much. That was telling.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I think Kody made things way, way worse by moving them with barely a plan. I can’t imagine how much four rents, plus car loans, plus living expenses cost them every month. I’d hate to be their accountant.

Christine looks very unhappy, and I feel so badly for her. Yes, she knew what she was in for, but things seemed a little calmer before Robyn arrived. Not saying that she’s the cause, but that seems to be the starting of all the chaos.

I wonder if there’s some unsaid feelings that it’s feeling weird to only see your husband once a week and, let’s be honest, he probably expects..relations...any time he sees a wife.

Christine grew up in pologamy. Her grandfather was the head of the AUB church and was shot during infighting. Don’t recall the details.
She always knew she would marry a polygamist. She knew what was involved in the lifestyle.
Kody has referred to her family as polygamist royalty.

there were only a handful of episodes before Robyn so we cannot judge what her impact truly was.
Reading their book shows things were never rosy.
If anyone recalls the nacho comments about Christine knows that marriage was not happy from the beginning.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I might be wrong, but I don’t think any of the adult children have adopted a polygamous lifestyle. If that is so, I think that is a pretty big statement about how the future of polygamy for this family...

 

[lisaviolet]

I don’t necessarily think the issues come from being a polygamist family rather it’s that they’re a polygamist family lead by Kody.

Oh Kody.

He led the season with this gift -

"I feel like I am sometimes the only adult in the marriage."

 

[ronandannette]

I might be wrong, but I don’t think any of the adult children have adopted a polygamous lifestyle. If that is so, I think that is a pretty big statement about how the future of polygamy for this family...

In fairness, none of the older kids seem to still be adherents of FLDS in general, which pretty much eliminates polygamy then and there. Logan and his girlfriend (maybe now wife) lived together and did their own thing, Mariah is gay and has a non-religious partner, Maddie married an evangelical Christian and Mykeltie and Aspen married regular Mormons. Whether or not that was a back-lash against polygamy specifically isn't clear.

 

[mom2rtk]

And these things happen in monogamous relationships. Now that times 4. Ouch!!

But at least in a monogamous relationship, the 2 spouses are dealing exclusively with the same stage at the same time. If one is an empty nester, so is the other. And there aren't distractions (in the form of other wives) to keep the one spouse from working on the issues.

I really think this is just the natural outgrowth of the down side of polygamy.

I'm no Meri fan, but I think he bailed on her mentally after the catfishing episode instead of taking that as a signal he needed to work on his relationship with her.

 

[brockash]

The scene for the preview when Meri asks Kody if she leaned over and kissed him right now woukd he push her away....ugh...so so awkward and so so sad. That has to be such a painful place to be in.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

But at least in a monogamous relationship, the 2 spouses are dealing exclusively with the same stage at the same time. If one is an empty nester, so is the other. And there aren't distractions (in the form of other wives) to keep the one spouse from working on the issues.

I really think this is just the natural outgrowth of the down side of polygamy.

I'm no Meri fan, but I think he bailed on her mentally after the catfishing episode instead of taking that as a signal he needed to work on his relationship with her.

I agree. It has to be the natural outgrowth. What do you all do when there’s no more little kids? Hang out with each other ? They try their best but you can sense the awkwardness between the women. You can’t really discuss your relationship with your husband because that is her husband too. There is so much jealousy among them. Is that why the men in polygamy seem to continue getting younger wives?

 

[mom2rtk]

Is that why the men in polygamy seem to continue getting younger wives?

Well, that and the obvious.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I remember the wives saying in an episode a while back that if none of the kids tried polygamy then it was like they failed. Or did they not show them how great polygamy can be.

if I remember correctly the only one who wanted to do polygamy was Mariah but I don’t think she’s for it anymore.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I recall Aspen’s husband saying he would be open to polygamy, but only if she was. She firmly said no.

 

[lisaviolet]

To me the jealousy will just get worse, until some of them simply don't care. It has to feel a lot closer to the other woman type scenario, than anywhere close to a family dynamic that they used to have.

I don't normally feel any compassion for Kody but it can't be joy inducing to travel around Flagstaff, trying to fit in and relax. Whichever wife is the less vocal about the issues at hand is where he probably wants to take an extended vacation. Which only makes matters worse. And congenial doesn't always mean productive.

It will probably end up being like what happens in Japan. Many women used to tell me that when men retired there, during the time when many woman ran the family so to speak, they were odd man out. Life had moved on because the men were rarely home.

 

[neverlandsky]

There is so much jealousy among them. Is that why the men in polygamy seem to continue getting younger wives?

Well menopause among the wives probably isn't helping things either. I think men in polygamy don't even want to deal with that or be reminded that they themselves are getting older let alone their wives. Rumor has it Kody was shopping around for another younger wife. I wonder if getting another younger wife would be reinforcement to get the other wives to toe back in line. Kody is the root of majority of their problems. Yet to Kody, it's his world and he sees nothing wrong.

For them all to be living in separate residences it doesn't really seem like polygamy to me. I will give Kody that one. They should all be under one roof.

 

[mom2rtk]

I don't normally feel any compassion for Kody but it can't be joy inducing to travel around Flagstaff, trying to fit in and relax.

But isn't he the one who was in such a big fizz to move in the first place?