Sister Wives

[Southernmiss]

So I have an interesting theory. Kody likes being and is a good dad to young children. By extension, he likes being and is a good husband so long as the wife could still give him kids and/or still had young kids. But after say… age 12 or 13 (that’s almost totally arbitrary) he doesn’t know what to do. And so his relationship as both dad and husband begins to deteriorate. And I wonder if this is something Kody hasn’t fully realized himself. So is it really that Kody has changed, or is it how he interacts, or both?

It’s far from a perfect theory. But it seems to fit the current family dynamics right now.

Your theory makes sense.

Meri was the one with the oldest child. So she was the first wife to be 'discarded'


Janelle is more independent and stands up for herself better. And really doesn't give a flip.

Christine was in it for the family life and when all the older kids grew up and moved away, her purpose changed.

Robyn is the young, favored, full time wife.

Kody has no clue what to do with the wives as they all age.

This is the time most monogamous couples reinvent their relationships with new interests, hobbies, trips, catching up on home projects and rediscovering life with just the 2 of them.

Kody isn't even trying with one of these 3 relationships.

 

[barkley]

So I have an interesting theory. Kody likes being and is a good dad to young children. By extension, he likes being and is a good husband so long as the wife could still give him kids and/or still had young kids. But after say… age 12 or 13 (that’s almost totally arbitrary) he doesn’t know what to do. And so his relationship as both dad and husband begins to deteriorate. And I wonder if this is something Kody hasn’t fully realized himself. So is it really that Kody has changed, or is it how he interacts, or both?

It’s far from a perfect theory. But it seems to fit the current family dynamics right now.

Your theory makes sense.

Meri was the one with the oldest child. So she was the first wife to be 'discarded'


Janelle is more independent and stands up for herself better. And really doesn't give a flip.

Christine was in it for the family life and when all the older kids grew up and moved away, her purpose changed.

Robyn is the young, favored, full time wife.

Kody has no clue what to do with the wives as they all age.

This is the time most monogamous couples reinvent their relationships with new interests, hobbies, trips, catching up on home projects and rediscovering life with just the 2 of them.

Kody isn't even trying with one of these 3 relationships.

i dunno. kody said earlier this season he almost never watches his own kids preferring to get a babysitter instead. i also wouldn't consider him a good dad to young kids-truely narrowly escaped death when she was 3 due to his negligence. that baby was sick for 5 days and since the wives were gone he kept pushing off her care on the teen girls in the family who kept bringing up concerns about her and later said they didn't think he took the illness seriously. so that baby was on the brink of death due to total dehydration and kidney failure by the time christine got back and got her medical treatment. 9 days in the hospital before she started turning the corner on recovery

after the fact what does he say about it? "...You know what? It was all a challenge, but we got reconnected with Truely. We got reconnected with each other,” Kody says looking back at the harrowing experience. “In the busyness of life sometimes you can take each other for granted, you can take your children for granted..."

who takes their 3 year old for granted or any of their children for that matter???

 

[mom2rtk]

So I have an interesting theory. Kody likes being and is a good dad to young children. By extension, he likes being and is a good husband so long as the wife could still give him kids and/or still had young kids. But after say… age 12 or 13 (that’s almost totally arbitrary) he doesn’t know what to do. And so his relationship as both dad and husband begins to deteriorate. And I wonder if this is something Kody hasn’t fully realized himself. So is it really that Kody has changed, or is it how he interacts, or both?

It’s far from a perfect theory. But it seems to fit the current family dynamics right now.

The real reason is that he craves the adoration that young children have for their parents. When they get old enough to start pushing back and questioning him, he backs off and loses interest.

Same with wives. If they are 100 percent supportive and unquestioning, he's into them. And Robyn is 100 percent fawning and unquestioning. Meri was spoiled goods the moment he found out about the catfishing.

 

[sk!mom]

I don’t know. Calling Kody a good dad seems a stretch at any point. I’d say that it’s more that younger kids a) demand attention and b) have very low expectations for that attention. As kids get older, they see what’s going on and years of neglect means that there just isn’t much of a relationship. They have expectations for Kody, he doesn’t even try to meet them so the kids are done with him.

Add to that the fact that Christine and Janelle are good moms with strong relationships with their kids and Christine has strong relationships with Janelle’s kids too. Those kids feel protective of their moms and angry when they see how Kody treats them. They’ve also been hurt by Kody’s ignoring everyone except Robyn’s kids due to Covid. They are well aware that none of them ever had that priority in his mind.

He can gaslight all he wants but those kids all had an inside view and little relationship with Kody so they feel no desire to protect him.

 

[mom2rtk]

You can see the wheels turning in Kody's head trying to make it Christine's fault that he'll likely never see some of those adult kids again. Well, maybe at an occasional wedding, but that's it. (Would have paid good money to be a fly on the wall at Logan's wedding!)

Like the only possible way the kids wouldn't want to see him is because Christine turned them against him. Like they didn't live the prior 18 months where he only ignored or scolded them. Like they couldn't possibly come to that conclusion on their own.

What an idiot.

 

[barkley]

i am LOVING the commentary janelle is giving esp. when she corrects or fills in the blanks on the family's financials. kody goes on a tirade about how 'the family' gave christine money for her down payment/janelle comments that the same was done for robyn, janelle has always put her accounting degree to good use as the family's cfo (even when there were no finances to officiate). kody better watch it-she knows better than anyone what and where they've got money and assets. rumors are flying across the web that she's already left him and has maintained her close relationship with christine-if christine goes for child support janelle could be her ace in the hole.

 

[mom2rtk]

i am LOVING the commentary janelle is giving esp. when she corrects or fills in the blanks on the family's financials. kody goes on a tirade about how 'the family' gave christine money for her down payment/janelle comments that the same was done for robyn, janelle has always put her accounting degree to good use as the family's cfo (even when there were no finances to officiate). kody better watch it-she knows better than anyone what and where they've got money and assets. rumors are flying across the web that she's already left him and has maintained her close relationship with christine-if christine goes for child support janelle could be her ace in the hole.

I doubt Christine is going for child support. But she absolutely should.

This episode did start to fill in some of the blanks with regard to Janelle's recent moves. Apparently she has no assets and needs the building to start on CP so she can sort of grow her own asset. It sounds like the proceeds from the LV houses went into a joint fund, which helped buy Christine's and Robyn's houses, but Janelle held off and now they need all funds to go into paying off CP.

Conventional wisdom is that Janelle has been good with their finances. But it's really not looking like that's the case now. If she leaves now, it seems like she's only leaving with whatever she can put into that 5th will.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Your theory makes sense.

Meri was the one with the oldest child. So she was the first wife to be 'discarded'


Janelle is more independent and stands up for herself better. And really doesn't give a flip.

Christine was in it for the family life and when all the older kids grew up and moved away, her purpose changed.

Robyn is the young, favored, full time wife.

Kody has no clue what to do with the wives as they all age.

This is the time most monogamous couples reinvent their relationships with new interests, hobbies, trips, catching up on home projects and rediscovering life with just the 2 of them.

Kody isn't even trying with one of these 3 relationships.

Right? Married 26 years here. 3 kids, youngest is 19. Our lives have changed. Our marriage has change. WE have changed. We are loving this stage of finally being able to leave the kids alone and go off and just be us instead of mom and dad. It's great to "come out on the other side" of parenting and find out that we still not only love each other but we still LIKE each other. We still want to be best friends and do things and LIVE this life together. It's great and yet so sad that Kody doesn't see this next stage of life because he's just decided they all are just not useful to him anymore. There's so much time to be MORE with yourself at this stage and he's just too invested in the chaos so he can complain how wronged he is.

 

[Turn the Page]

The real reason is that he craves the adoration that young children have for their parents. When they get old enough to start pushing back and questioning him, he backs off and loses interest.

Same with wives. If they are 100 percent supportive and unquestioning, he's into them. And Robyn is 100 percent fawning and unquestioning. Meri was spoiled goods the moment he found out about the catfishing.

I recall an episode, I think not long after they moved to Las Vegas, where Robyn commented that she tried really hard to stay in the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship and the other wives commenting that that wasn't feasible long term and Robyn didn't understand why it wasn't. Ummm....because at some point, real life beckons, that's why not. Maybe it was more feasible for Robyn on a longer term than most because there were 3 other wives to take care of the real life to leave her in honeymoon bliss.

 

[Turn the Page]

Right? Married 26 years here. 3 kids, youngest is 19. Our lives have changed. Our marriage has change. WE have changed. We are loving this stage of finally being able to leave the kids alone and go off and just be us instead of mom and dad. It's great to "come out on the other side" of parenting and find out that we still not only love each other but we still LIKE each other. We still want to be best friends and do things and LIVE this life together. It's great and yet so sad that Kody doesn't see this next stage of life because he's just decided they all are just not useful to him anymore. There's so much time to be MORE with yourself at this stage and he's just too invested in the chaos so he can complain how wronged he is.

DH and I have been married only 7 years, but we are a blended family so we have never been just the two of us, we have only ever had young kids. But, now we have DD 16, DD 12, and DS4. When DS4 was born I thought maybe I wanted another but.......we are now at the point where we're ready to say we do NOT want to start all over again.

I like being able to look forward to the years when we don't have to rush home to meet the school bus or schedule vacations around the school calendar, etc. We are getting to where we can more easily take a vacation with just the two of us and it is fantastic.

 

[bapcap]

Wow, tonight’s episode! I was so hoping Christine would have been more vocal after the “tantrum” Kody threw. At least show some anger at the way he talked to her. At the beginning he says he never loved Christine and she didn’t love him. Then he has the nerve to complain about “all the sacrifices I made to love you”…what a narcissistic attitude. He thinks she should stay for the sake of the family and be content with the lack of love and emotional support of a mate/spouse. I was waiting for him to say, “Meri is okay with living this way, why can’t you be okay with it for the rest of your life”.
As for Meri, she really showed her true feelings about Christine…just got up and walked out not saying a word to anyone...then of course is hugging a crying Robin away from everyone.
Doesn’t sound like Janelle is very happy or content with the way things are playing out for her.

 

[cvjw]

As for Meri, she really showed her true feelings about Christine…just got up and walked out not saying a word to anyone...then of course is hugging a crying Robin away from everyone.
Doesn’t sound like Janelle is very happy or content with the way things are playing out for her.

Every time the camera would cut to Meri during the meltdown, she seemed to be so smug. Then to just get up and leave to go and hug Robyn. I think she just must be staying for the money. She has no relationship with Cody, or any other wife but Robyn, or any kids but a few of Robyn’s kids. That is a weird dynamic, for sure.

 

[mom2rtk]

Every time the camera would cut to Meri during the meltdown, she seemed to be so smug. Then to just get up and leave to go and hug Robyn. I think she just must be staying for the money. She has no relationship with Cody, or any other wife but Robyn, or any kids but a few of Robyn’s kids. That is a weird dynamic, for sure.

I really wasn't sure where Meri was with all of this until this season. I thought she was just phoning it in so she could get her share of the show money. But now I'm more convinced she really believes all this crap. She really seems to be all in with Kody/Robyn.

 

[Dakota731]

I really wasn't sure where Meri was with all of this until this season. I thought she was just phoning it in so she could get her share of the show money. But now I'm more convinced she really believes all this crap. She really seems to be all in with Kody/Robyn.

I think since Christine and Janelle were so close that Meri was the third wheel, so she recruited her friend Robyn to marry Kody. But I didn’t think that turned out the way anyone imagined.

 

[Claudia1]

It was telling to me that Kody kept throwing out “the higher calling” as a weapon. That makes marriage a duty to achieve something special, not a life journey to get there. Maybe I didn’t explain myself well but it was more of a “notch on a belt “ scenario than love, which is how he does things.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Your theory makes sense.

Meri was the one with the oldest child. So she was the first wife to be 'discarded'


Janelle is more independent and stands up for herself better. And really doesn't give a flip.

Christine was in it for the family life and when all the older kids grew up and moved away, her purpose changed.

Robyn is the young, favored, full time wife.

Kody has no clue what to do with the wives as they all age.

This is the time most monogamous couples reinvent their relationships with new interests, hobbies, trips, catching up on home projects and rediscovering life with just the 2 of them.

Kody isn't even trying with one of these 3 relationships.

Meri did not have the eldest child. Logan, Janelle's son is the oldest, followed by Aspyn then Leon. All 3 born in the same year.

 

[prairie_girl]

I found it really sad that Kody said that he didn’t love Christine when he married her. It sounds like maybe he was pushed into it a little bit.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I found it really sad that Kody said that he didn’t love Christine when he married her. It sounds like maybe he was pushed into it a little bit.

That was talked a lot about in their book including the infamous nachogate.
It's been said he has married her as she was "poly royalty" and had a crush on him.

 

[Southernmiss]

Meri did not have the eldest child. Logan, Janelle's son is the oldest, followed by Aspyn then Leon. All 3 born in the same year.

Thanks for the clarification.

Meri was the first one with an empty nest was my point.

 

[mom2rtk]

This is the time most monogamous couples reinvent their relationships with new interests, hobbies, trips, catching up on home projects and rediscovering life with just the 2 of them.

Kody isn't even trying with one of these 3 relationships.

But Kody won't need to reinvent until his youngest wife hits the transition with him. When the older wives hit these big transitions, he just bugs out and heads to the next one. He still has one just starting kindergarten. He won't be an empty nester for a very long time.

I thought it was fascinating that Robyn commented on how they both reacted to their youngest heading off to school. They BOTH got to experience it together. Yet when Meri faced the empty nest, he was nowhere to be found. I'm sure it was that very difficult time for her, and played a role in her reaching out for connection online in what turned out to be the catfishing incident.

I can't help but wonder if it even occurred to Robyn or Kody that Janelle's daughter was starting her last year of school. Or if they wondered what it was like for Christine to drop her child off clear across the country without the emotional support of a husband to lean on.