KyDerbyMan
Anyone know where I can get some good scrod?
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2007
- Messages
- 909
Like David said, the older you get, personality becomes (or should become) the prime concern, making age arbitrary. It's a pretty amazing feeling when you come to know, rather than simply acknowledge, that there are people everywhere--on almost every acre of land-- and that they're each individually complex, sensitive, and brilliant in their own unique way. I've met a lot of older folks who have been impressive enough as to define what I look for in a friend or significant other, but I've also met some who act like they're still in high school. Just as I've met people my own age who admittedly seem beyond their years.
I read something by Chuck Klosterman a few weeks ago which really served to encapsulate and vocalize what I already felt and knew about "love". It's too long to post here, but he basically pointed out that the notion we have of "true love" as children, of a single prince/princess that's perfect for us, is utter crap, which the more introspective of us realize as we get older, while others just get jaded and accept the experience. Rather than a single true love, people fall in love many times throughout life, sometimes in the tens or hundreds, but there are a handful of people we meet who help define what we love about people, and even moreso, a single person who becomes that definition--a single person who affects us so much that we consciously look back to her/him in comparison to the relationship we're in. You don't speak of such things for fear of getting slapped, but this is a person you will always remember, even should you get married and have a family, because they have become the very definition of what you love. Does this person exist once you let them go--no, because you've most likely idealized them in the same way politicos and our grandparents look back on the "good old days" of an easier world, which never truly existed in the first place. Still, that single person remains in the back of our minds as long as we live.
It's a very interesting denouement to his book, Killing Yourself to Live, which strangely set out to be a nationwide journey to explore the sites of famous rockstar deaths but ultimately became an exploration of the author's major past relationships. Interestingly, that abstraction makes sense to me when I take in account the length of the car trip...
Wow. I can really identify with that right now. I'll have to read through that on my next trip up to Barnes and Noble.
Guess I should fill in my details since this is a roll call thread

Jerry, 41, divorced for over 5 years with two daughters (21 and 13) and looking to put the fun back into my life after chasing what was apparently just a fantasy for most of the last two years (much more to it than that, though, but I'm not one to air dirty laundry).
Last was in Disney a couple of years ago and hoping to get there for a few days the first week in August (at the least, going over Thanksgiving for my...er...our first Christmastime at Disney!)
Anyway...
Hi!

You should consider joining us for the single's trip in 2008!
Just happened upon this thread and thought I'd comment. I'm almost 55 and divorced a bit over 9 years . My kids are 25 (married), 22 and moving out of state (just graduated college) and 18 and going away to college. For most of my life I thought I would get married and raise a family. No real goal for a profession , although I am certified to teach art and have been in education for 32 years. When I got divorced I really want to find someone and get married again. But I've finally gotten to a place in my life where I'm really happy and feel good about myself. I would like someone to share things with too, but don't know if I really need to be married to do that. It'd be nice to have some close friends that you can call at a moments notice to go out to eat with/go on vacation with/see a movie with... but I don't NEED someone to make me happy anymore.. and that feels good. Good friends are the icing on the cake!

who really have the need to match a friend with someone
but you gotta love em... they just mean well