Single Parents...How do you deal with

[Pin Wizard]

the stress of working as a single parent? At my last job I felt soooooooooooooo much pressure from my boss to ALWAYS be there. DS was sick one day in the past year. I stayed home and took him to the doctor. Good thing! Doctor said no school until the following day. When I got in to work the following day, I received the cold shoulder the entire day. I don't even want to think if there had been an emergency and school was let out early. She was understanding 9/11, but that was it. Anyone else feel tremendous stress to be there when you know in your heart you need to be with your child? I should say...no support network here!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Hugs Sandy!

I wish I had words of wisdom, but I don't. DH and I both used to work fulltime, and the balancing act of that with our then one DD was awful. He is military and deployed for 6 months when DD1 was 13 months. By the time he got back, I had lost 10-15 lbs due to the stress. I have a lot of respect for women like you! It is tough.

When he was home, and when she would get sick, we would have to determine whose schedule could flex best to stay home. It was awful. Usually it worked out that I could take the first day, and he could rearrange his schedule for the next couple.

When I was pregnant with DD2 (2 next week), the stress at my job was unbelievable. My boss and I did not get along, so I opted to resign fully instead of just taking maternity leave. Fortunately I have a terrific partner who fully supported my decision. Of course, he then deployed (again) for 3 1/2 months a month after the baby (who had colic!) born. Since then, I have been lucky enough to find a part time job that allows me to work from home, so I can work around the girls' schedules.

Having been a temporary single mom several times due to DH's deployments (he is gone again this week, but only for a week, then home for a week, then gone for 2 again!), I feel your pain. I am truly grateful that he does come back. Best of luck, and destress on the DIS!

 

[bsnyder]

I have been a single mom, but fortunately I had a wonderful support system (lots of family and friends living nearby).

In your situation, the only advice I can give is to do the best job you possibly can under the circumstances and hold your head up proudly! By that, I mean, don't let someone else put a guilt trip on you. There are times when you absolutely have to be there for your child, and work has to take a back seat. If you are a top-notch employee in all other respects, then I think it's the boss that has a problem!

If you have no support system, then what you're doing is not an easy thing....balancing two priorities that sometimes clash (and usually at the worst possible times). Just do your best and don't be hard on yourself. If others are hard on you, give you the cold shoulder, etc, just remember that you are doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can expect!

 

[Tuffcookie]

Sandy, You said "At my last job"...so I take it you're no longer working for that slave driver. Luckily, my employer is very understanding when it comes to taking sick time. It's a good thing because not only do I have youngest DS and myself to worry about, I take my mom for all her cancer treatments at Cleveland Clinic.

TC

 

[aprincessmom]

I am lucky to work for a very understanding boss (who, by the way is single with no children) and a very family oriented company (despite the fact that is a large corporation). My family is about as far away from my home as my work is from my home.

I have made friends with a number of my daughter's friend's moms. They are great help and we swap off a lot. I am around on weekends and evenings and that helps many of the others who have multiple hockey/soccer/ice skating/girl scout meetings and other children who can't attend. On weekends I have a house full of children but it's worth it because I know if I need during the week, I can call anyone and get the favor returned.

Is it possible to work out some arrangement with the moms of your son's friends? Most of the moms in my area are stay at home moms...I'm an oddity but I make a point of trying to keep in touch with them. Especially since my family is at least 40 minutes away.

I also have a couple of really great babysitters I can call if I need a night out for work or just for me. One I actually pay even if I don't use her just so I know she'll always be available when I do need her.

My parents are retired so they can help out in a pinch. But mostly, I'm lucky that my daughter is a pretty healthy kid.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Thanks everyone! Yes, I left that job 17 months ago...doesn't seem that long. Couldn't take all the stresses. I also had one monthly meeting in the evenings. For that I would pick up DS from school in the afternoon and drop him off at his Godmother's house. As a matter of fact, I had a night meeting when DS got sick. When I picked him up from his Godmother's, he told me that both ears hurt. We were in the pediatrician's office the next morning. And our pediatrician was the Chairman of my committee! It was soooooooooo horrible the next day at work. But now it looks like I'll have to be looking for a job again. I've been in school since leaving the last one. But I really dread getting a job knowing that there might be problems when I need time.

 

[Pop Daddy]

you need a rich man to come and sweep you away

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
you need a rich man to come and sweep you away

Woooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo! I'll settle for a decent one, doesn't have to be rich!

 

[Serena]

LOL, good luck on both counts.