Single parent concerns

[L24teacher]

I am booked on the Eastern Magic trip leaving on July 26. When picking up the tickets today, my travel agent advised me I may need a notarized letter from my ex-husband in order to get on the boat. Since this is impossible, he would never cooperate, I was wondering if any other parents encountered this problem, or if my agent is just being extremely cautious. I have joint custody and court papers to prove it, but I find it hard to believe they would hassle me in light of how many people they are trying to get on the ship. Any other single parent travelers have some tips or advice???????????

 

[beanteam]

I traveled with my daughter as a single parent and if you leave the country (which on the cruise you are) you need to have the other parent's permission. It's a hassle, but I'm glad they do that. Just think of all the international kidnappings that occur every year--this is a deterrant.

It was a pain for me, emotionally too, because my husband was deceased. So, everywhere I went I had to make sure I had a certified copy of his death certificate.

I can't believe your ex wouldn't sign off that he is aware you are taking your child out of the country. What a jerk! Especially since your child will be having the time of their life! Geeese!

 

[L24teacher]

Thanks for the info. In reading all of the literature from Disney it is not mentioned at all. I was also curious to hear what they do if you show up without the permission note. I really don't know whether to battle for the note, or go with my court papers. My actual court papers say nothing about not taking her out of the country, but they do say I am entitled to vacation time. I appreciate your response.

 

[>>^..^<<]

Hi there...

I had a notorized letter from my Ex-husband when I took my daughter on the Eastern and no one asked to see it anywhere ~ however, if you were going on the Western which goes into Mexico I bet you would need to have it ~ Mexican authorities are really strict about the single parent thing.

If you cannot get a letter from him - I suggest you have a copy of your separation/divorce/custody agreement showing that you have custody of your child.

Good Luck!

>>^..^<<

 

[ohiominnie]

I'm wondering if it's all in how you present it to ex-dh (not necessarily "dear" husband....you fill in the adjective)

If you "ask" for his permission to take dd out of the country, and that you need him to sign the paper saying it was ok with him, then he can say no. But what if you just said you WERE taking her out of the country on a cruise (stated as a fact) and he needed to sign that paper saying he was AWARE that you were taking her out of the country.

Make it so the paper is an AWARENESS issue, not a PERMISSION issue.

Does that make sense?

p.s. welcome to the DIS!

 

[Gina]

I have done Eastern, Western, been other places, have never ever been asked. The only time I was ever asked was going from the US to Canada, but a quick phone call the authorities made to my ex-inlaws to chcek that someone knew I was taking my son out of the country, and that was that.

I do carry the relevent pages of my divorce decree that show that I have sole physical custody of my son. Even if I thought my ex would, by some miracle, not give me a huge gigantic hassle about signing anything, I refuse to do it on principle. But like I said, it has never been an issue on the Magic. And come February, I'll have my divorce decree and our birth certificates, and away we'll sail again.

-gina-

 

[Buckaroo's Dad]

Hi L24teacher.

I may need a notarized letter from my ex-husband in order to get on the boat. Since this is impossible, he would never cooperate, I was wondering if any other parents encountered this problem, or if my agent is just being extremely cautious. I have joint custody and court papers to prove it,

I have sole custody of my son so all I need is to bring along are the pertinent court papers. Joint custody MIGHT pose a greater problem although I have as yet to hear of any horror story from either a sole, or joint, custodial parent.

You will more than likely encounter no ill effects from not having a permission slip (heavens, does that sound childish in and of itself - lol). However, if you feel as though this will be a source of worry for you while away then I'd recommend you secure any necessary paperwork through family court. Perhaps you could alleviate any problems simply by making the court aware of this vacation.

One of the biggest mistakes a divorced parent can make is to try to justify their anger with a former spouse by acting inconsistent with the best interests of their child(ren)...

Wishing you and your daughter a truly enjoyable cruise.

 

[katz99]

Just called Disney about this the other day again. if you are going to Mexico you must have it. If you are not they will not deny you boarding or anything else. this is more for your own protection. I have not seen or heard from my kids father in over 6 months and have no idea where to find him, and was scared they would deny us. But several calls to the travel agent and to Disney and they have said the same thing, it is strongly suggested but not a requirement. We cruise on the 20th of July so I can let you know if they give me any hassle.

 

[disneygal58]

We have cruised five times - beginning when my daughters were ages 14 and 15 . I have sole custody and was never asked to show any documentation. An unnotarized letter cannot prove it's author, but if you need to have it on your person for your peace of mind, by all means include it with the birth certificates (which for many of us carry a last name dissimilar to the one we currently use...)

Enjoy,
Dawn Hope

 

[nowellsl]

I was told to bring one on a cruise to Mexico which I did. No one every asked to see it.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by >>^..^<<
Hi there...

however, if you were going on the Western which goes into Mexico I bet you would need to have it ~ Mexican authorities are really strict about the single parent thing.


This would not be a problem for me since I never listed his name on the birth certificate, correct?? The only names on there are mine and my daughters. It was not a problem on the 4 day one and I assume it is the same on this one....

 

[moocow35]

I have gone on 4, next year will be 5 Disney cruises, and was never told about this, or read it anywhere in the documents. Needless to say I have done both the Eastern and Western with my daughter, and was never asked for any kind of divorce documents or permission slip from my ex.

Robin ºOº

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

My married parents and I were going to Cancun when I was 17. My father ended up hospitalized the day before we left. My father insisted my mom and I still go, so we did. The TA told my mom that she needed a notarized letter from my father stating that he was aware that my mom was taking me out of the country and that he gave his permission. As you can see, even married parents have to have a notarized letter to take a child to Mexico if the other parent isn't going.

 

[ohiominnie]

Originally posted by Tay N Evie's Mom
Countdown to our US/WDW Adventure: April 28, 2003
The Twins are having fun

STILL???? My goodness those twins have been at US/WDW since April 28th!! That's over 2 months!!!

Wow!

 

[L24teacher]

A big thank you to all who have replied. After hearing the news from my agent my heart sank as I new what a hassle I was in for in trying to secure that letter. I have been depressed about my trip rather than excited. I knew I couldn't be the only one with this situation and your info has really helped. I see the point of the letter with all of the parental kidnappings and such, however I also agree on principle it infuriates me to have to get his permission, and have him put me through the power play of obtaining it. Keep the replies coming, the depression is lifting and the excitement is coming back.

 

[Gina]

l24teacher ~


Think about it this way: If it were a must, absolutely required, wouldn't DCL make a huge big deal out of it, with neon-orange stickers on the front of the docs and info about it everywhere, as they do about needing your birth certificates? And if it were a must, wouldn't there be just ONE person who has ever sailed Disney who has been asked for such information? Even one time?? But not one person has ever said that, and I have been here at the DIS for as long as DCL has been around. And if DCL felt that there was even a chance that some of their guests might be turned away somewhere, don't you think they *would* make a big deal about it?

Parental kidnapping is not considered a very larger risk at ALL on cruiseships, because of the security level already in place on them. When you stop in a port, they scan your card and you are noted as being off the ship. When it comes time to sail again, if you are not on that ship, an alert immediately goes out -- a kindapping non-custodial parent couldn't get very far.

Bottom line, please don't stress about it... work through the facts and decide what is best for your own situation. Do you truly have complete joint custody, which is pretty rare? Usually one parent will have sole physical custody, while the two share joint legal conservatorship.

You're going to have an amazing, magical time... please don't let worrying about this ruin your planning fun!! Go buy a copy of "Steel Drum Party" at amazon.com and imagine yourself up on Deck 10, frozen yummy drink in hand, your child being wonderfully taken care of and entertained in the kids' club.

Have a great time!!!

-gina-

 

[floridaminnie]

Been on two dcl. The first one was last summer on the 7 day western and the second was this past March on a 4 day. I've never had a notarized letter for DD's father. My name is the only one on the BC, but he also knows where she is at all times. Now next summer we are planning on going to Jamacia and I'll have my lawyer draw something up for him to sign. Oh, we are going on a 3 day cruise next week. Have fun!

 

[gottaluvdisney]

I posted this on another thread and thought it would fit this one as well...In the documents there will be a place for the parent or legal guardian to sign. Since your wife if the parent of the child, she will need nothing else. The only time DCL needs something like that notarized is when the parent or legal guardian are not traveling with the minor child and then the notarized form is needed.

IMHO - the only time I think a parent would need a letter to travel with their own child is if there is a divorce or custody issue and you think that the other parent may cause problems or contact local authorities on you. You know what is in your divorce and custody papers, DCL doesn't.


Also - I was a travel agent awhile back and I can tell you that going on a cruise whose itinerary includes a stop in Mexico and taking a flight to Mexico are two totally different circumstances.

Trust me - you do NOT need to contact your child's father.

 

[jfis1020]

FYI - our 6/21/03 documents included a fill in the blank statement concerning taking a child out of the country without the other parent present. I took ex to the bank, he fillled it out and they notorized it. It was all there we just had to finish it.

BTW - I am one of the lucky ones with a ex who is o.k.

 

[Morgsmom]

I sailed with my DD on the June 29th Wonder 4 day. I have primary residence (joint custody) and no one asked for any documentation whatsoever.