Single mom taking 16 yr old ds with severe cog delays... Nervous...

[dja14]

Are you renting a wheelchair from home or from an offsite place? I would recommend that, then if he has a meltdown and you need to leave the park you can get to the monorail with him in the wheelchair. Then you can roll it right to your room.
Also is he able to understand a budget for toys and snacks? I would guess that would be a easy place for a lot of no's because there is stuff everywhere. You might be able to work on that ahead of time.
I think if you go at it as a trip for him and do what he wants you will both have a great time! When I was a kid I loved the monorail from TTC to Epcot! when our son was in a wheelchair the train was great, front row, just rolled him in. If he likes Pooh I would try that ride if he is okay with the dark and noise. You will have such a great time.

 

[Blue dear.]

Is it possible to not say "no" to him during the vacation? What kind of things will set him off, when you say no? Is it possible to think about those issues beforehand and see if you can give in to him, so it doesn't disrupt your vacation?

YES! He totally melts whenever he's told no! I will definitely try to give in as often as possible. But sometimes it's a safety issue or a rule-breaking thing... For example, he wouldn't think twice of walking into an "Employee's Only" door, etc.

And actually, I AM pretty nervous about going into any gift shops.... I don't mind buying him things (he loves toy cars - so if he SEES one, he WANTS IT - and NOW)... I've heard of "parcel pick-up" but if he doesn't have it in his hand right away, he won't understand why and he'll get TICKED. :-/

Are you renting a wheelchair from home or from an offsite place? I would recommend that, then if he has a meltdown and you need to leave the park you can get to the monorail with him in the wheelchair. Then you can roll it right to your room.
Also is he able to understand a budget for toys and snacks? I would guess that would be a easy place for a lot of no's because there is stuff everywhere. You might be able to work on that ahead of time.
I think if you go at it as a trip for him and do what he wants you will both have a great time! When I was a kid I loved the monorail from TTC to Epcot! when our son was in a wheelchair the train was great, front row, just rolled him in. If he likes Pooh I would try that ride if he is okay with the dark and noise. You will have such a great time.

All good suggestions! I need to read more about wc rental actually. I hadn't thought of getting him to the monorail in one! My fear is that he'll say, "NO" and won't want to use it.... At the store, he allowed me to push him around one time. The next time I tried it, he got out of the chair and wanted to walk - - I hate to lug around a chair if I don't have to... and I have no idea - - do you pick up the chair when you get there? Will they deliver to the CR for me and pick it up...? Hmm....

DS has no concept of monetary value. He gets very angry when told no.... and I say it a lot so you think he'd be used to it by now!

Thanks so much for all of the suggestions, Gang! I REALLY appreciate it!!

 

[CharmedCake]

I work with children whom due to their Autism and Intellectual disabilities can not live with their families/home which has manifested with many dangerous and socially isolating behaviours (self injury, breaking things such as windows and tables, attacking others, faecal related behaviour, stealing like behaviours, etc). Which is an extreme of your situation but may offer you some tips.

We find communication with them has to be verbal and visual, as in they need to hear what your saying and see a picture or sign of what your talking about and this helps keep us on the same page and can help reduce such behaviours, and say having items already on you can predict that he will crave/desire may be of use, as when he desire's a toy you can be like "you already have this, use this" and continually redirecting with the toy.

What we find helps with those who struggle with understanding or respecting "no" is but not saying no but saying "first/now this and later/then that", which may or may not contain what they are not being given or allowed to do and this can have success as it can distract them, get them to cooperate or redirect them.

We also find what helps in reducing behaviours is by having sensory stimuli activities planned through out the day to help regulate them depending on what we're doing during the day, such as relaxing time has messages and/or listening to specific and textured music. So maybe during the day finding a quite area and having a 10 minute light message might help your son remain emotional regulated and cooperative as Disney will be very stimulating.

Hope this gives you some suggestions an ideas to keep Disney fun for both you and your son!

 

[DisneyOma]

Message or massage?

 

[kandb]

Yes, I would avoid gift shops. I think it is going to go a lot easier then anticipated. There is so much action going on that he will probably be very busy looking around at everything going on. I wouldn't worry if he made loud noises, most rides are not "quiet" and I've had my cell phone ring on numerous rides and no one could hear it.

 

[PlutosUnDr8d]

CharmedCake--I agree, good ideas for sensory regulation. And the word "NO" is usually avoidable if things are phrased in a positive (as in measurable, not positive "happy") manner. For example, "no running" may be phrased instead, "walking feet".
Compression clothing can help calm some people as well. It all depends on his needs and challenges. Glad you are getting input, Blue dear! ; ))))

 

[Blue dear.]

Hey Guys - - Forgot to mention that I'm a special ed teacher. So I'm aware of (and use) first/then language (CONSTANTLY), "walking feet," "quiet voice," PECS, picture schedules - you name it. I probably should have mentioned that on the onset - sorry. I've also grown a pretty thick skin when it comes to the stares and the comments.

He can still be a tough cookie at times and has a SUPER crazy temper. His mood can also turn on a dime. I will totally be using every trick in the book though to keep him as calm as possible.

And hey!!! I got some really good news today! My mom is going to come with us to help! I feel so relieved to have some help!

 

[gwynne]

Hey Guys - - Forgot to mention that I'm a special ed teacher. So I'm aware of (and use) first/then language (CONSTANTLY), "walking feet," "quiet voice," PECS, picture schedules - you name it. I probably should have mentioned that on the onset - sorry. I've also grown a pretty thick skin when it comes to the stares and the comments.

He can still be a tough cookie at times and has a SUPER crazy temper. His mood can also turn on a dime. I will totally be using every trick in the book though to keep him as calm as possible.

And hey!!! I got some really good news today! My mom is going to come with us to help! I feel so relieved to have some help!

I think that is lovely news your mom is coming along. Wishing you all a very nice trip!

 

[halssister]

Just a totally random comment about the People Mover.....i don't know if your son has sensory issues or problems with loud noises, but we did have one bad experience with my own DS this past summer. It was my fault in part; he has autism and has a hard time with CERTAIN loud noises, including bathroom hand dryers and people screaming. We had been carrying his noise cancelling headphones everywhere for a few days, but one evening made a return trip to MK and I didn't bother to bring them (since he hadn't used them at all at this point). Well, there was a family close to us that thought it was funny to scream bloody murder every time the People Mover went into a dark area, like it was a scary roller coaster. Poor DS was ready to jump right out of the car after a few minutes of that! (I would have followed, it was pretty annoying in an enclosed area!). He finally just started yelling "Quit screaming!!" Every time them did it, which I found pretty amusing
So just a word of warning that things like that MAY happen!

 

[PlutosUnDr8d]

Hey Guys - - Forgot to mention that I'm a special ed teacher. So I'm aware of (and use) first/then language (CONSTANTLY), "walking feet," "quiet voice," PECS, picture schedules - you name it. I probably should have mentioned that on the onset - sorry. I've also grown a pretty thick skin when it comes to the stares and the comments.

He can still be a tough cookie at times and has a SUPER crazy temper. His mood can also turn on a dime. I will totally be using every trick in the book though to keep him as calm as possible.

And hey!!! I got some really good news today! My mom is going to come with us to help! I feel so relieved to have some help!

Awesome news--and no intention of insult here in my recommendations (I'm an LCSW, so my first response is always to problem solve!). Glad to hear you will have help along with you. I hope your trip is everything you wish for and more!