Single mom looking for advice on taking ASD/ID teen over Christmas break

[rockinmom]

Hi,
I am a single mom of a young teen who has a diagnosis of Mild ID/ASD and a seizure disorder. We have done Disney when he was younger mostly during the summer months but he really cant tolerate the heat and for whatever reason it brings on seizures. Being in middle school, our school is very strict on their attendance policy and it is unlikely they will approve a family vacation so I am thinking Christmas break is the only time we would have enough days to go. His spring break is never more than 3 days because they use it to make up snow days. We have always wanted to go see the holiday decorations but I am nervous to try and go during the most crowded week of the year. Has anyone done this? Is it even manageable with a kid with special needs? Also, any information about the ins and outs of using the new system for kids with disabilities would also be appreciated.
TIA

 

[gap2368]

Any thing can be do able

1 you will not get to do as many things as you other wise would. I would let him know this

2 preplan your FP. And any ADR

3 take some time for some time at the hotel to swim unwind in the room. I would not go to the park on Christmas or new yours eve even if you are there or just go in the morning use your 3 FP and head out

4 if you can make the vacation longer this might help ( like over a week )

5 go to GR and talk to them about what kinds of problems he has with crowds that effect his ASD and see if there are things they suggest

 

[Kaytie]

3 take some time for some time at the hotel to swim unwind in the room.

I'm sure some people are going to consider this an unusual suggestion given the time of year, but given that the OP lives in an area that has snow, it's very likely going to be warm enough in Florida for people like us to swim.

 

[gap2368]

I'm sure some people are going to consider this an unusual suggestion given the time of year, but given that the OP lives in an area that has snow, it's very likely going to be warm enough in Florida for people like us to swim.

Even in the middle of winter it can still get quite hot in FL during the day in the 80 and some times hotter and Disney heats there pools making them quite nice. A swim during the heat of the day can be quite relaxing

 

[cobright]

The crowds will be shocking. I normally try to answer a question as it's asked but before that I would just make a suggestion. Talk to the school. Tell them your situation and that you have a once-in-a-childhood opportunity to take your child on a family vacation but that it will mean he starts the next school year 4 days late. The last weeks of August or first weeks of September have very manageable crowds. If the heat is too much of an issue, pick up to 4 school days after or leading into a weekend in mid November or early December. That gives you up to 6 days at Disney. Advance notice and limiting to 4 missed days seems to be the magic combination. If you're in the states it's likely that you don't need to explain yourself at all, just give them notice in advance but how the truancy laws deal with vacations is something of a gray area in some states. Sometimes it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. Sometimes not.

If you get pinned down to a Christmas break or shorten the trip to take it during the school year consider taking one of the VIP Tours. They are expensive, but they can be a worthwhile value; especially for people with special needs. With just two of you going, a 4 hour tour that walks you right onto the Magic Kingdom classic rides will cost you $400 total. Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, “it’s a small world”, and Peter Pan’s Flight. For $600 you get a 7 hour tour that covers lunch and walking right on a bunch of thrill rides in MK and DHS and Soarin' in Epcot. In addition to the VIP tour, you still get your 3 FP+ for that day. For a high crowd day, these tours can easily pack 2 - 4 days worth of fun into one day. And they alleviate a lot of stress. I manage an anxiety disorder and normally do well at Disney but on a recent trip, we tried the 4 hour package on a day expected to have 9-10 level crowds. When we started planning our upcoming trip both my kids volunteered to go without souvenir money and chip in their allowance towards scheduling another VIP tour package. They offered to cover their mother and I's tour package

 

[rockinmom]

I'm sure some people are going to consider this an unusual suggestion given the time of year, but given that the OP lives in an area that has snow, it's very likely going to be warm enough in Florida for people like us to swim.

We definitely get snow and frigid temps. We have no family so we dont have any plans but he does get to be with his dad on Christmas morning this year. I was thinking of flying out on Christmas day and flying home new years day.

 

[rockinmom]

The crowds will be shocking. I normally try to answer a question as it's asked but before that I would just make a suggestion. Talk to the school. Tell them your situation and that you have a once-in-a-childhood opportunity to take your child on a family vacation but that it will mean he starts the next school year 4 days late. The last weeks of August or first weeks of September have very manageable crowds. If the heat is too much of an issue, pick up to 4 school days after or leading into a weekend in mid November or early December. That gives you up to 6 days at Disney. Advance notice and limiting to 4 missed days seems to be the magic combination. If you're in the states it's likely that you don't need to explain yourself at all, just give them notice in advance but how the truancy laws deal with vacations is something of a gray area in some states. Sometimes it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. Sometimes not.

If you get pinned down to a Christmas break or shorten the trip to take it during the school year consider taking one of the VIP Tours. They are expensive, but they can be a worthwhile value; especially for people with special needs. With just two of you going, a 4 hour tour that walks you right onto the Magic Kingdom classic rides will cost you $400 total. Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, “it’s a small world”, and Peter Pan’s Flight. For $600 you get a 7 hour tour that covers lunch and walking right on a bunch of thrill rides in MK and DHS and Soarin' in Epcot. In addition to the VIP tour, you still get your 3 FP+ for that day. For a high crowd day, these tours can easily pack 2 - 4 days worth of fun into one day. And they alleviate a lot of stress. I manage an anxiety disorder and normally do well at Disney but on a recent trip, we tried the 4 hour package on a day expected to have 9-10 level crowds. When we started planning our upcoming trip both my kids volunteered to go without souvenir money and chip in their allowance towards scheduling another VIP tour package. They offered to cover their mother and I's tour package

Until last school year, we had never had an issue. He plays hockey (Special needs team, not affiliated with the school) and they refused to allow him to miss school for that last year and it was 1 day. They gave him an unexcused absence. Next year he will have one tournament in March that will rack up 3 unexcused absences so adding a vacation to the mix will definitely land me in front of the magistrate for a truancy hearing. It really sucks but I cant figure out a way to actually take him without having legal issues for him missing school. I do think his spec ed teacher would be supportive but the principal makes the final decision and he is a real dick, esp to special needs students. Also, August while cheap, wont work. We did a trip in August several years ago and he spent the whole trip running to the next air conditioned place because the heat was just to much for him.

 

[gap2368]

They only do privet VIP tours during the Christmas and New Years season so unless you can hand over around $4,000 to do the privet ones you will be out of luck, but yes they are great if you can go another time ( maybe skip this year and go next year since he is already missing school) or fly out after school on Friday, have all day Saturday and do one of the preplanned tours Sunday and then flay home Monday ( make it a holiday )he is not missing school then and the tours really do pack in a lot ( I have done the trills one 2x ) and you get done around 3pm and you have your FP left, This would give you 2 and a half days ( if you leave lat Monday) in the park and with the VIP tour you get about 1 and a half to 2 days in 8 hours.

 

[ladyjubilee]

We took my son for Christmas two years ago-he has the same Dx you list. We actually did 12 days leaving the 27th.

Up until Christmas day, everything went well. However, starting Christmas day there was VERY noticeable change; it was like a switch had been thrown. I don't know how to say this diplomatically, but the composition of the crowd changed greatly. I have strong suspicions that Disney was offering deals during that period to the international crowd. I know one family we spoke with had gotten such a deal. Normally, that's no biggy, but it was very obvious people where coming from places where people with special needs are not able to be in the public sphere. People literally climbed OVER my son's stroller-while he was in it---not just one person, but multiple people. One guy physically push my son "out of the way" when a character approached my child instead of this guy (it was bad enough that supervisors intervened).

So no, while we enjoyed "Christmas" at Disney, I would never do actual Christmas at Disney again. From now on, if we go back for Disney Christmas, we'll leave Christmas day..and really assuming you go to MVMCP, you don't miss much by going before Christmas week.

But on to tips:

• Plan, and not just as far as checking off activities. Plan your routes--know where there are cool places to retreat too, note places where he can decompress and not have to act "normal". Note where the companion restrooms are.
• Cut through the stores--We have to air condition shade hop to prevent overheating.
• Stroller as Wheelchair-this is a must for us. It gives him a defined place to be--and a place he knows how to behave (the fact he can't reach me to bite and scratch is just an added bonus . ) It also means I don't loose him (he's non verbal). It also means if he has a seizure, I have a way to get him out of the park while he's post ictal and "dead weight".
• Be clear and precise on what you need. DAS is great, but DAS doesn't necessarily address all needs. If a situation isn't working, let a CM know what the issue is. And if the situation is truly urgent/not safe, be firm. I made a mistake on my son's first trip that could have had serious implications and now I know if I had not been so panicked (and spoken coherently) the CM could have helped me.
• Have a picture schedule or word schedule, look at the ride seats online, watch videos and let your son see the videos.
• We start off with rides with a ride on ride off transition. Once my son gets back in the groove, we go on the rides with defined stops.
• We keep readily available snacks that my son controls
• We give him responsibilities. He has to put this things in the spot on the stroller. He has to use his magic bands (when he can reach from the stroller).
• We take beads or other fidgets
• We take a pen and autograph cards, so that he has something in his hands and a "purpose" to meet the characters. We also give the photographer a heads up.
• We divide attention--mine stays on my son at all times, a family member handles crowds and other situations.
• Headphones for loud times
• We flow away from the crowds--I don't know why, but the crowds at WDW always seem to in the same spot, while other places are nearly empty. Watch the patterns.
• Safety Tats--His have my phone number...and we work during the year to teach him to show his tattoo to people in uniforms.

 

[Nevada Jen]

What part of Disney do you think he will like the best? The rides, shows general activity? Just throwing this out there. Maybe Disneyland or a cruise would be easier and more fun with the limited amount of time you have.

 

[cobright]

adding a vacation to the mix will definitely land me in front of the magistrate for a truancy hearing. It really sucks but I cant figure out a way to actually take him without having legal issues for him missing school.[...] Also, August while cheap, wont work. We did a trip in August several years ago and he spent the whole trip running to the next air conditioned place because the heat was just to much for him.

Do you live in the states? I know there were a couple stories floating not long ago about schools in the UK taking a hard line on family vacations.

Funny story... our last big family trip to WDW was originally scheduled to have the kids miss the first day of school and that's it. Then a month or so out, Wifey's job complications come up and we have to push the trip back a week. Kids are going to miss 7 full days of school. Not a huge deal, they've missed school on previous trips, but they're older now and school's a lot more intensive so we planned on not burning up their school days in big chunks anymore. But ... this is Disney and it's gonna happen. Our kids are pretty clever, they'll be fine.

Day of the trip, we're at the airport, and the phone rings. Automated message letting me know that Kiddo #2 wasn't at school and to please let the attendance office know if he would be absent today and in the future to please call to excuse absences before that day's classes. Yeah ... uh oh ... Wifey, who promised to let the school know weeks ago had got distracted by something shiny and let that chore slip. So she calls the elementary school and middle school to tell them, "Surprise, kiddos are not going to be there for a week." The schools were not amused. At all.