Single after 15 year relationship - Now what?

[PoohsHubby]

So this probably isn't going to be the easiest thing to write but hopefully I'll get some positive words that will make it a bit easier. I've always loved the Dis community and I know there are many many good people on this board.

So long story short, last month, my partner and I broke up after being together for 15 years...I was 17 when we met, and we've lived together since I've been 18. That's lots of time and lots of memories. We did lots of things together, pretty much everything, so now I'm trying to figure out what I want and like and being on my own (for the first time in my life). Our lives were so inter-twined with each other (even my screen name mentions him). This is a challenging time but I'm trying to make the best of it.

One of the things that I absolutely love is going to WDW. We've gone together for many years and now I'm a bit scared to go alone. That's one of the things that has been bothering me a lot. My friends aren't Disney people so I doubt I'll be able to have them come along, and if they do, it'll be only a short visit.

I'm just wondering if anyone has positive input. Whether about getting out of a relationship (this is my first real break up) and going to disney on their own - how they handled it, met people (I'm a tad bit shy), etc.

Thank you for any kind words or input.

 

[daannzzz]

I am sorry about your breakup. I don't have lots of good words as I have not gone through it. In fact I am opposite of you. I dated many guys, (one for five years) but didn't meet someone for good until I was 53. I met him here on this board. I loved going to Disney Parks alone. You need to try it. It is relaxing as you do what you want, when you want, eat where you want, etc. Yes, once in a while something special happens that you wish someone were there to share it but it can also be something special, just for you. In all my solo trips I did not meet anyone at the parks. I am shy as well, but I still love going. I am lucky in that my husband contacted me first on this board. I think hanging our here could be some help.

 

[Jefrex]

If geographically close, I'd offer a coffee or drink on me, but Ontario ain't too close. Venturing down to Orlando anytime this year?

 

[rbrbnd]

So this probably isn't going to be the easiest thing to write but hopefully I'll get some positive words that will make it a bit easier. I've always loved the Dis community and I know there are many many good people on this board.

So long story short, last month, my partner and I broke up after being together for 15 years...I was 17 when we met, and we've lived together since I've been 18. That's lots of time and lots of memories. We did lots of things together, pretty much everything, so now I'm trying to figure out what I want and like and being on my own (for the first time in my life). Our lives were so inter-twined with each other (even my screen name mentions him). This is a challenging time but I'm trying to make the best of it.

One of the things that I absolutely love is going to WDW. We've gone together for many years and now I'm a bit scared to go alone. That's one of the things that has been bothering me a lot. My friends aren't Disney people so I doubt I'll be able to have them come along, and if they do, it'll be only a short visit.

I'm just wondering if anyone has positive input. Whether about getting out of a relationship (this is my first real break up) and going to disney on their own - how they handled it, met people (I'm a tad bit shy), etc.

Thank you for any kind words or input.

I'm so sorry! Believe it or not I'm actually in the same boat. I ended a 9 year relationship about 2 months ago. Actually I was wondering about the Disney thing too. I think I'll just plan a solo trip and see how it goes. I'd offer to get together and commiserate but I suspect we're no where near each other. I wish you all the best!!

 

[mikelan6]

So sorry to hear about your breakup. The only thing that helps is time - and buying yourself a new luxury car.

As for going to WDW alone - I would suggest pin trading, if you haven't already gotten into it. I am also shy with new people, so I buy a bunch of inexpensive pins on eBay and trade them when I get to WDW. Lots of WDW (DL and DCL too) cast members have pin lanyards and are very friendly to walk up to, trade pins with and maybe have a nice conversation with them.

 

[PoohsHubby]

Thank you all for all the kind and encouraging words and advice.

It's tough (that's a major understatement) but I am getting through it...last 12 hours especially. Trying to keep that positive attitude.

I'm thinking of planning a trip in October during food and wine time. I notice a lot of people on the solo board are going then, so it might be a good opportunity to meet with some good people and not feel "so alone" while in Disney.

For those wondering where I am, I'm in Toronto Canada, sadly probably no where near most of you.

And if anyone else has any suggestions or anything, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Thanks all xox

 

[amberg93]

Glad to hear that you're getting through things and I hope that you continue to work through it all.

I've never been to Disney solo but I've read lots of TRs from people who have and everyone on the boards that does it seems to really enjoy it. I'm sure that you will too. Plus, food and wine is a great time to go in general

I agree that pin trading is a great way to talk to CMs and even if you're shy (I usually can be), sometimes it's so easy to start talking to CMs. If you see any from your area it's an easy lead in topic.

 

[DVCDan36]

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Warm thoughts and wishes are heading your way.
Enjoy WDW by yourself. I am sure you will have many fond memories as you travel around, just try not to get stuck in the memories, but start creating new memories for yourself. Try something different that you wanted to do before, but never had the time to do it. You'll be surprised what kind of conversations you can strike up when you notice something in common.
Good luck!

 

[krazy4crusing]

Fellow Torontonian here! I go to Disney quite frequently on my own and love it. The planning is easy because you dont have to consult with anyone and it gives you time to do the things you enjoy as often as you like. Fave rides, shows etc...

It may be hard the first time because you have memories with your partner but the best thing to go and make new memories with yourself. If Disney is "your" place, then go back and own it. Make this trip your gift to yourself! You deserve it!

 

[PoohsHubby]

Thank you all for the warm wishes and kind words. It means a lot.

Past few days have been especially hard. Been trying to find answers to a lot of things and discovering things that I didn't know was going on so it makes it that much harder to handle.

I've been helping my boss plan a trip for him and his family this week to Disney and was talking about Fantasmic ... got a bit choked up and had to go back to my office... had fond memories watching that with him.

I'm going to try and do the trip on my own later this year. Crossing fingers that it goes smoothly and I don't feel too "alone".

Thanks again everyone. Your words mean a lot to me.

Quick question if anyone knows - is there any other ways to plan to meet up other Disney goers to check out the parks with other tan the solo board?

Thanks again everyone.

 

[Tommy_B]

Dude, you are like 32-33 years old. The absolute prime time of being a gay man. There are so many gay Disney lovers it isn't even funny, including a ton who work at the parks.

You can go to the parks on your own and have fun, but eating alone is never fun, I get that. You can either find companions once you are there or before you go, depending on how long until you want to go.

 

[LovesTimone]

Frist let me say how sorry I am about your break-up , but things have a way of sorting themselves out. It will take time.... Surround yourself with family and friends, maybe even think about some counseling, some times its just good to vent to someone who isn't involved with either of you.

I wanted to say that I am a straight woman, married to my best friend. When I read your story it touched me, no matter gay, straight.. whatever a break-up is a break up... We all have been through one or two in our lives. It's never easy.. but you will make through and come out knowing yourself better.

I have a good friend that split up with his partner after about 6 years. They both loved Disney. He and I would talk about Disney and help each other plan trips. His first trip solo was hard for him to get on the plane, but once he was there he was surprised by how much fun he had and met several nice people along the way, that he is still friends with today. We did make some plans for his solo trip, he did a Segway tour, and the Safari Trek tour..( I think that's what it's called). Lots of nice people in a small group so not to overwhelming for a shy guy. He was really worried about eating alone, he decided to eat at the bar in some of the restaurants he said that he did not feel the least bit out of place dinning like that. He told me that a few times he had some moments of memories and took the time to sort through them. On his last night he treated himself to Cali grill, requested a table by the window and went out to watch the fireworks, he said he felt that in a way in was saying goodbye to the old but at the same time was excited about the possibility's that the future would hold.

I am happy to say, that he did meet someone and that they got married last year.

Wishing you pixie dust and happiness

 

[PoohsHubby]

Tommy, logically I know you're right about still being young, etc Emotionally, this relationship was my life and it's hard to see how things will be without it. But I'm getting there. But thank you for pointing that out.

LovesTimone...Thank you for your kind words and great ideas. I was thinking about doing the tours as well, I'm glad he enjoyed himself on his own. It's actually good to hear someone else going through it and getting through it. Some days have been better than others, but it's still tough...the strangest things can get to you. Regarding the counsellor, I have started seeing someone and it has helped so that's been good. Thank you again for the kind words and pixie dust...I'm more than happy to roll around in the pixie dust lol.