Showers for all babies, or just the first?

[Keli]

In my area it seems we tend to give showers for every baby whether they have older siblings or not. I hadn't thought about it making someone feel funny to have a shower with their second baby (I only have one so it was never an issue for me anyway).

 

[tkyes]

I would love it if the party was a party to just meet the baby and welcome him into the family.

Just found out SIL registered for gifts at Target. So, it's not just about welcoming the baby in her eyes.

 

[TLinden16]

We had big showers for my sisters when they were pregnant with their first child. We had small gatherings with just the sisters for the second child.

Karen

 

[GEM]

Around here, it's usually a big, fancy shower for the first and a much smaller (very close friends only) gathering, like a luncheon or something, for other babies. That seems like a good solution to me.

 

[KristiKelly]

I agree with you, baby showers should be for first only, unless there is a big gap in children and clothes and all had been given away. I didn't have a shower for my 2nd, however; I have a cousin that has always had to get everything I get. When I got a new car - she got the same, when we got a new house - she got a new house, when I got pregnant w/ my 1st, 3 mo. later she was pregnant w/ her 2nd (3 years apart), when I had my shower, she had the nerve to tell my mom and other aunts, where they could have her shower and what they could get her. I know for a fact her motive - GREED.

 

[mtemm]

I don't expect one for my second and third due in April. Although I wouldn't mind one! Since we are having twins it almost feels like starting completely over again from scratch.

That said, I would think by the third baby stuff would be getting pretty worn out and new stuff would be appreciated. If you aren't comfortable or interested in going, though, just make up an excuse.

 

[Blondie]

I always thought it was one baby shower, then maybe one if there are many years between babies.

Now there's a shower for every baby, at least down here in Virginia there is! I don't mind the first baby's shower. But it's gotten so bad at work that I don't even go to the showers anymore because they are all for 2nd, 3rd and 4th babies! It's ridiculous, not to mention expensive!

I'll give a gift after the baby is born.

Somewhere you gotta draw the line!

Oh...and it's rare that the showers are surprises anymore! What happened to surprise showers? They used to be the most fun!

 

[snoopy]

I was given showers both at work and at home for my first baby, and was so overwhelmed and grateful for all the gifts I got. But when I got pregnant the second time I told my sister to tell everyone that there would be no shower. I certainly didn't need anything, my kids were only a few years apart so I had everything and more stuff would have been redundant. I'd rather they give to charity.

I like the idea of a celebration though, when the baby is born. Just without the gifts.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Snoopy beat me to it. My 1st was a boy & 2nd was a girl, though we didn't know until the babies were born. But, I said no to a shower for the 2nd baby.

I also like the idea of a celebration after the baby is born.

 

[CamColt]

Originally posted by mtemm
I don't expect one for my second and third due in April. Although I wouldn't mind one! Since we are having twins it almost feels like starting completely over again from scratch.

In your case I could definitey understand you having another shower. Obviously you have 1 of everything but you are going to need 2. You will be starting over. Twins must be so exciting!

 

[disneychrista]

I don't see a problem with someone else giving you a shower for a second, third or even tenth child.

If you do not feel that it is appropriate then don't go.

 

[MegaDisney]

I think it becomes an issue with some people when it seems like the mother is totally involved in throwing the shower, and the expectation that it is the gifts that are important. According to some of these posts, that is the whole reason for having one, right? I mean, I have had one baby, I had one shower, and no matter how many other babies I will have, I will not have another shower. Why should I expect my friends and family to pony up the goods when it's my decision to have another child? I will not expect others to provide me with the things I will need if I decide to have more than one baby. If the gifts are the focus of the shower, then something is wrong. If they aren't, then why not write on the invites that your presence is required, not your presents?

If second or third baby showers are OK, I guess the same can be said for second or third bridal showers, right????

 

[Lewski709]

the pregnancy is a first for the marriage or there is a big age span from the first baby shower given.

I refuse to go to multiple showers, unless for the reasons stated above. That does NOT mean I won't acknowledge the birth. Sometimes I feel people invite everyone and anyone for gifts. If I am close enough, they'll get something regardless.

 

[Crankyshank]

Around here, we throw showers for every baby - not just first born and regardless of age difference between babies.

 

[FreshTressa]

Wow, I must say I am shocked!!! I never knew it could even be considered innappropriate.

We have showers for all the new babies. I just recently threw a shower for my good friends third. It is fun to celebrate a new arrival and to get together with friends and discuss the baby.

Now, I wouldn't buy a big gift, but the gift really isn't the point of the shower, it is the friendships and families. You can find SOMETHING a new baby could use. Old onesies get stained, bottles need new nipples, etc.

If it bothers you, don't go. If you don't want to celebrate her having another, then you shouldn't participate. But, if you want to share, then buy a small gift and enjoy yourself.

One of the previous posters was right when they said it probably cost more to host the shower than the mother would ever get in gifts.

 

[battricia]

You said your sister in law is throwing the shower for your other sister in law right? I don't blame her, if my sister had a baby, or two babies, or three or four, I'd throw a party for each of them, and I'd spoil those kids rotten. Maybe you don't feel the same way because it's not your blood sister, But maybe your sister in law (the one that's not having the baby) just wants to make your other sister in law feel special, or maybe she's not getting the pregnant-and-raising-2-babies attention she deserves from her immediate family (husband/significant other), and her sister just wants to make her feel special and not that her baby is just another responsibility? Just a thought.

tricia.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I was surprised to have a second shower, but very greatful! My DS was 7 when we adopted DD. I had moved and all our baby stuff was gone. It was such a special day of celebration. Many of my "gifts" were loaner baby items that we were sooo lucky to borrow!

I think if I were in the OP situation I would send a small gift and politely find some other engagement for the day. While you don't want to upset the whole family there is no reason to attend a party that you do not agree with.

 

[battricia]

You said your sister in law is throwing the shower for your other sister in law right? I don't blame her, if my sister had a baby, or two babies, or three or four, I'd throw a party for each of them, and I'd spoil those kids rotten. Maybe you don't feel the same way because it's not your blood sister, But maybe your sister in law (the one that's not having the baby) just wants to make your other sister in law feel special, or maybe she's not getting the pregnant-and-raising-2-babies attention she deserves from her immediate family (husband/significant other), and her sister just wants to make her feel special and not that her baby is just another responsibility? Just a thought.

tricia.

 

[alexandmaddie]

I think part of it is geographical. I, like Tamie, live in Minnesota and 2nd or 3rd baby showers are not very common. I personally don't agree with having showers for a second or third baby.

My DH's sister threw HERSELF a baby shower. How tacky is that!!?? I didn't go and didn't send a gift!!

You aren't a stick in the mud!!

Krista

 

[luv2nascar]

No one was kind enough to give me a baby shower for my second DD (even though our girls are 8 yrs apart)

Now my SIL got a shower for her 2nd (BIL & her 1st together) but still I felt alittle slighted (her son is 6 mos older than my daughter)
& my MIL & her mother threw the shower

But honestly I think I got so much stuff for 2nd DD. Friends and relatives visited and gave her cards, money, & gifts. I really don't think I was slighted. I really didn't need any of the big items.

It seems the more you ask for the more you get in the case of my SIL. She is quick to tell you what she wants or the kids need. I keep more to myself on those issues. So she is always getting and getting, and taking advantage of people