Should we go or not?

[KATIESMOMMY]

I have been really excited about our upcoming trip to WDW. This will be our first trip and it will be over Christmas. Well I was all excited till tonight. I received an email from my SIL and she just lit in to me about how selfish I am for taking my DH and DD to WDW over the holidays and that I am ruining the holidays for everyone. My DH said to just ignore it but it just upsets me to no end--I feel a bit like Malificient at this point This vacation means so much to me--since we got married 19 months ago things have been just nonstop crazy. I got pregnant days after the wedding, spent 3 months in the hospital and a baby in the NICU for 3 weeks and then with her on monitors for 2 months and 2 surgeries b4 she was 4 mos old and me having surgery twice in the last few months, I just feel we really deserve it! Granted I managed to do the holidays for his family this yr( he is the eldest of 10--they are all married/have kids etc) but this yr I feel WDW would be fun for just the 3 of us. My SIL says I will be depriving my DD of Santa as this will be the first yr she will understands it at all...................am I making a bad decision by us going?? Will a 20 month old really not enjoy WDW?? Thanks for listening to me...At least I quit crying long enough to type it all!

 

[Deesknee]

First may I say your DD is beautiful. I really don't have advice on a decision for you. I will say this however, I would be thrilled for any of my family or in-laws to be able to take a trip that they want when they want. Especially after going thru what you all have recently. I might question who the selfish one is here. (although being selffish because you are going to sincerely miss someones presence doesn't neccessarily make that person bad either.)
Good luck.

 

[the kabuki]

DH is the oldest of 10?? And are the other 9 brothers and sisters, along with their spouses and children going to be together in the same place at the same time for the holidays. If not, then how would the three of you going to WDW spoil everyone's holidays??

This is your family and sounds as if you more than deserve a vacation. Tell SIL to fly a kite. Or to be nicer about it, suggest getting together for the holidays before or after the actual day.

BTW- 20 month old babies don't understand a thing about Santa. They just like the pretty lights ,sparkly decorations and new toys.My DD3 just figured out the whole Santa thing this year.

Will a 20 month old like Disney? Are you kidding???? She'll love it and so will you and your hubby. Everywhere is decorated for Christmas , it's absolutely beautiful. Judging from the way your SIL lit into you, sounds as if WDW at Christmas would be a waaaaay better choice than being around her for the holidays!

 

[epcotfan]

Your SIL is the one being selfish. Ignore her and enjoy your well deserved vacation.

 

[daisylove]

Go and relax and have fun. Just because you are at WDW does not mean that Santa cannot come. I agree at 20 months they like toys and lights and music and surprises not specific Santa stuff. Dont let anyone bully you. I sounds like your little family needs this time.

 

[mrsschlep]

I think that you should go!! I think SIL is just jealous that she's not going. What do you mean by you 'managed to do the holidays for his family this year'? Did you make dinner and entertain his family. I think that after what you have been through this past year that they should have been taking care of you. Go to WDW and have a blast. We just got back a couple weeks ago with our 16 month old and she LOVED WDW. There are only a handful of rides that she couldn't do in all 4 parks and we just child swaped the rides we both really wanted to go on. Have fun and don't open anymore e-mails from SIL.

 

[PrincessofQuiteAlot]

Your baby is absolutely beautiful!! What a snarky thing for your sil to say to you after all your family has been through.

There is nothing better than being with your family at Disney during the holidays. I am fortunate and live close to Orlando so we always make it a point to go during the first part of December when it isn't so terribly crowded - might this be an option for your family?

(((hugs))) to you and your family for all that you've been through!!

 

[crisi]

We treasure our Christmas mornings with our kids. There are so few Santa years - my kids are just five and six and already the doubt is creeping in. My family tried to pull us all away over Christmas and I was crushed. It all ended up falling through.

And I'd NEVER take a first trip to WDW over Christmas....far too busy for me. I'd never go at all over Christmas actually (a lot of people love it), but for a first trip....no way!

But that is me and you are you and you need to have YOUR priorities not mine or your SILs.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

As a mom that has been there done that, there is no way your SIL can image how much you need a break!! My guess is that she was not the most supportive during all these stresses. You little one looks WONDEFUL! The most important thing to her for Christmas is that she is with the two of you. Santa is still for you this year, not her. It will be easy to do SAnta at the hotel as she will still be easy to slip around. She will LOVE WDW. Christmas is a wonderful time to visit. The only reason I might not go then is that it is VERY crowded. Earlier in the month they already have all the Christmas activities without the crowds. It might however be worth the crowds to escape the stress of the holiday at home!!

BTW. I only spent 1 week in hospital but DS spent 3 mo, had 4 surgeries by 1 year old and spent 6 mo on O2 and a year on monitors. He is a healthy, 5 foot 5 ,120 lb, all A student who will be 13 soon. Feel free to e-mail me for a listening ear any time!!! BTW he was a 1lb, 10 oz 24 weeker.

Plan, go and enjoy!!!!

Jordans' mom

 

[eeyore kelly]

Go and don't bring SIL any souvies back. I am certain that Santa stops at WDW

 

[fun & fancy free]

I think you need to do what you and your family wants. It sounds like your DH wants to go to WDW. Besides by him say "ignore her" it makes me think she is like this all the time. People will always have opinions of decisions that others make. If you are comfortable with your decision I would say go. I would not worry about your 20 month old. She is still very young and as another Diser said she will not even miss Santa. Even if she does can't Santa visit WDW as well. Your sister-in-law will probably be upset for alittle while but I really think her family knows her and They will consider the source when she voices her opinion. If it is at all like my DH's family(one of 9) someone will get tired of her and tell her to mind her business(maybe not in those exact words if you know what I mean). Good Luck and Have a Magical time. You will be in the right place for it!

 

[rosiejo]

You can't please everyone at Christmas - once you get together with your DH you have two families to please and once you have kids then that makes three families. I would love to go to Dinsey for Christmas and I think with children it would be even more special... don't worry about what anyone else thinks, do what your family - you your DH and the little one - want to do :0)

 

[minkydog]

And I'd NEVER take a first trip to WDW over Christmas....far too busy for me. I'd never go at all over Christmas actually (a lot of people love it), but for a first trip....no way!

QUOTE]

I agree with this part of this post--Christmas week at WDW is a madhouse. As long as you know that and are prepared for the crushing corwds, fine. However, the week or two prior is really wonderful; I highly recommend going then.

I don't think you are being selfish at all. In fact, i think the ILs are more likely feeling a little selfish in their desire to spend some time with DD on her first "real" Christmas. There is nothing wrong with not doing the big-family Christmas. If you lived in another part of the country, I'm thinking you wouldnt always go "home" for Christmas(or maybe you would, everyone is different.)

We live about 400 miles from family and we stopped having Christmas together when the oldest was 5yo. Too much drama, too many hoops to jump through. Now we go after Christmas or at another time of the year, when teh stress is less. We learned a long time ago that it is more important for my own little family to have their Christmas traditions, whatever that may be.

 

[casey49781]

first let me just say last year i went dec 21-29 and it was so busy there was hardly and walking space left to walk there,,,,my kids are 7 and 4 and didnt like being away from home on christmas even though i brought a tree and presents,,,,,tell your sil to mind her own business and you do what you want,,,you deserve it ,,,,best wishes,,but maybe go earlier so you can avoid the crowds and have more fun,,

 

[Luckymommyx2]

I'm with everyone else here...GO! Try not to let SIL get to you and do what you need/want to do. Here's some pixie dust for you....

 

[mom23boys]

I have been to WDW at Christmastime. It is beautiful. I would go and tell your SIL that you need this break and it is something your family wants to do.

Maybe she is a little jealous of you going, I mean WDW at Christmas is a great present. Do not worry about your 20 mos old and Santa. My youngest boy is almost 3 and last year was the first year he really got into it.

Go and have a great time.

 

[the kabuki]

I would add that you might want to reconsider the timimg, only because of the how crowded the parks are then, not because of your nasty SIL. One time we were there
Jan 2nd and caught the tail end of the crowds. Wow, it was packed. And most times when I mentioned it to someone, they would say "this is nothing, you should have seen it last week". By the 4th of Jan, the crowds went down, and boy what a difference. It was like a totally different park, much more enjoyable. I personally would never go during those high peak seasons. What about earlier in the month?

 

[jeepgirl30]

I have not read everyone's response but GO and don't think twice.

Your SIL is being evil. Family puts a lot of unfair pressures on each other that they would never do to others.

As for your 20 month old having her first Christmas where she'll really "get it", don't count on it! My 25 month old wanted NO part of Santa this year, he opened on present and didn't have a care in the world about all the others. Now, his big sis 4 1/2 years old truly embraced the whole Santa and present idea. The "true" meaning sort of got pushed aside! My DS got really cranky with all the pressure the family put on him to open and go from one thing to another. He wanted to sit and play with one toy and be left alone. He likes the train under the tree. My point is, I personally think your 20 month old will not be as into the whole Christmas thing as your SIL thinks. Your DD would probably enjoy the decorations, parades, etc at DW more than a huge stressful family function. Heck I would too!

Christmas should be spent with family and you are, you have your DH and DD now as a family. DD will grow so fast, enjoy every moment with her, at her pace.

 

[areno79]

Another vote to go...your SIL sounds pretty hateful and petty. I'm sure part of her will miss you all, but it sounds like most of her reasoning is selfish...you need to do what's right for YOUR family, and if you feel that taking a trip is what you need, then by all means go for it! Good luck, whatever your decision!

 

[KATIESMOMMY]

I got up this morning kinda down and got on here and read all your replies and you all just made my day! Just to clarify a few things, we are going Dec 17-26 so hopefully the first few days it wont be so crowded. We are pretty stuck with when we can go as my husband is pretty stuck with certain days,---it was then or over July 4 th week ( better a few crowds than the extreme heat I thought).
Yes I did do the holidays for his family, we have been together 12 yrs, married Aug 2003 and have been doing all the holidays for over 9 yrs. Don't get me wrong, I usually love doing it, but, I feel like I just need a year off. For the most part his family is really really awesome. We all were next door neighbors since I was 8 and his twin sisters and I have been best friends for over 25 yrs. Our families are as close as if they are one family. The SIL that has the problem is the youngest, she is in the USAF and her and her son just came back to the States from Germany last year. We only see her on the holidays as she lives in Tx. One of his brothers live in FL and we see him on the holidays only also--the rest live here in IN.
My husband kissed me goodbye this morning (he is a truck driver)and told me to not worry about what everyone else thinks, that when we didnt have kids it was all well and good that we did the dinners, but that now we have our own family that we need to put that first. We are older (37, DH44) and never expected to have kids of our own and have always done for all the other neices and nephews ( some are about to make us great aunts and uncles this year!) bit now we have us to worry about. Gotta love the man-he is the best husband a woman could wish for!

BTW he was a 1lb, 10 oz 24 weeker.

Katie was a 34 weeker but was 7lbs 13 oz DR said she would have been a 10 lb baby! Not bad for me loosing 31 lbs during my PG! I had preterm labor at 14 to 18 weeks and was on bedrest for that, then at 19 wks I had horrible pain, the Drs said I had a kidney infection, kept me in hospital for a week and sent me home on pain meds ( that I refused to take) and 2 days later was back in the ER with horrible pain. They diagnosed me with gallstones and were going to remove them surgically the next AM. The surgeon came in to say hello before the surgery and while examining me he asked permission to do a CAT scan, said he just has a feeling it wasnt the stones..Well they did the Cat an hour later and flipped out. My appendix had ruptured probably 9 days before and there was a huge pocket of infection. Well not to get too graphic they had to put a drain in me and told me that me and baby were lucky to be alive. (This after my OB had told me that the pain was just normal to pregnancy and I was being a little too "touchy")
I ended going into Preeclampsia at 34 weeks and they did an ER C-section on me. Kate was on vent for a week, cpap for 4 days and came home on a feeding tube and monitors. She quit breathing on us twice and was not thriving. They found she had pyloric stenosis ( stomach unable to empty to intestines) and they did surgery on her twice for it.
Well to be honest you wouldnt know to look at her that she was a preemie. She is now 11 months, 31 inches long and almost 30 lbs.Her Ped says she is a healthy normal child, just very large for her age. She isnt walking yet, but is trying to pull herself up--refuses to crawl --she gets so mad if she does.
Shes our world.
I had my surgeries these past cpl months, removal of what was left of my appendix in July and my gallstones in October.We are all fine and healthy now and I agree with all of you, I realy REALLY think we deserve a vacation! Thanks for listening to my sob story last night and to this long " history". We definately will be going to WDW with our tinkerbelle in December!