Should kids show respect for adults on buses?

[bicker]

I think the message folks should derive out of this thread is that seating on busses, the keeping of or giving up of by a child for an "elder", is not to be taken as any indication of the child's character. It may have, at one time, had some bearing, but those who still feel that way need to acknowledge that their linking the two concepts is archaic, and detrimental to peaceable interaction with the general public. Courtesy and respect are still very important -- giving up a seat on a bus by a child, however, has no relationship thereto.

 

[delilah]

ok, I guess I'll take the unpopular stance.

For safety reasons I'd rather see kids sit and adults stand. Not all children are small enough to comfortably sit on people's laps (7 and up), but neither are they tall enough to reach the overhead straps/bar to hang onto. The buses often make rather sharp turns. In some spots on the bus there is no vertical handrail to hold onto, particularly if you are near a wheelchair accessible area. If the bus made a left or went fast around a curve a child could be pitched to the side. It's hard enough for adults to hang on sometimes let alone somebody who can't get a good grip.

Frequently on buses, I gave my seat to a kid who was too big to sit on somebody's lap, or those laps were already full. A healthy adult can stand just fine, but I didn't think it was reasonable for somebody who would have a hard time holding on to have to stand. To me that would include anyone elderly, pregnant or under about 5 foot tall. I would give up my seat for somebody who looks like they need it, but for reasons of safety I wouldn't make my 6 year old son. (who is 4"4 & 70 pounds and not sitting on my lap. lol)

I might be unpopular too, but, I agree 100% with this. If there was only one seat left on the bus, I would let my 55", 65lb son take it, and stand myself. Even at 5'2" myself, it is impossible for me to reach the hold bars above, and, sometimes, people are rude enough to think that I am being "fresh" by needing to hold the seat back instead.

 

[kaw1218]

I think the message folks should derive out of this thread is that seating on busses, the keeping of or giving up of by a child for an "elder", is not to be taken as any indication of the child's character. It may have, at one time, had some bearing, but those who still feel that way need to acknowledge that their linking the two concepts is archaic, and detrimental to peaceable interaction with the general public. Courtesy and respect are still very important -- giving up a seat on a bus by a child, however, has no relationship thereto.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think the message folks should derive out of this thread is that seating on busses, the keeping of or giving up of by a child for an "elder", is not to be taken as any indication of the child's character. It may have, at one time, had some bearing, but those who still feel that way need to acknowledge that their linking the two concepts is archaic, and detrimental to peaceable interaction with the general public. Courtesy and respect are still very important -- giving up a seat on a bus by a child, however, has no relationship thereto.

Sorry that is how you see it but I don't. Maybe this attitude is why the society is getting more violent and less tolerant of others.

I would never expect anybody to give up their seat to me, but I would always expect a ~10+ year old kid with me to give up their seat to others. I have and will continue to give up my seat and not take the attitude that you could have waited so there.

 

[Banzai]

I think kids should be alowed to have the seats. It is the theme park comando parents who have their chilldren stay at the park far past their normal bedtime who should have to give up the seats for their children. This isn't respect, it is selfishness on the part of adults. Let the kid sit, you are not going to destory its values. I have yet to see an A&E biography that mentioned sitting on a Disney World bus as one of the items that lead to the person becoming a moral-free serial-killer.

 

[bicker]

Sorry that is how you see it but I don't.

Then you're bound to go through life disappointed.

Maybe this attitude is why the society is getting more violent and less tolerant of others.

I suppose your intolerance for those who don't believe a child should give up the safety of their seat on a bus to an adult could be indicative of problems in our society.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Then you're bound to go through life disappointed.

I guess you did not read the entire post. "I would never expect anybody to give up their seat to me, but I would always expect a ~10+ year old kid with me to give up their seat to others. I have and will continue to give up my seat and not take the attitude that you could have waited so there."

Why will I be disappointed? You always want to tell us how the world should operate. Well I don't want to live in that world.

I suppose your intolerance for those who don't believe a child should give up the safety of their seat on a bus to an adult could be indicative of problems in our society.

WHERE DID I EVER SAY THAT. The most intolerance I have seen has been from you!!!!

 

[crisi]

Actually, I see very little difference between the expectation that a child should give up a seat to someone older (not elderly, just older) out of respect, and the expectation that a black person should give up a seat to a white person out of respect. If the reason is respect - not need. You don't earn a seat because you are 14 and the kid sitting down is 11. Nor should you earn one because you are 26 and the kid sitting down is 14. Nor 40, nor 50.

At some point in time for many people (but not all) age becomes a disability, and sitting becomes a need. Those people should be given seats. But my grandfather, who painted his own two story home at 82 before dying suddenly of a stroke the following winter - he could have stood on a bus at 80.

 

[noodleknitter]

Why will I be disappointed? You always want to tell us how the world should operate. Well I don't want to live in that world.

WHERE DID I EVER SAY THAT. The most intolerance I have seen has been from you!!!!

I sadly agree.

My kids have all been taught that you can make the world a better place by being kind to others. They have spent time in nursing homes, and with their grandparents, and understand the limitations of many elderly people. Their best friends' family adopted 4 younglings with serious issues, emotionally and physically. We are thankful to have our health, a home, good food, and good friends.

We discourage selfish/self-centered behavior when at all possible. It serves no purpose.

Frankly, they are all happy, well-grounded young people who are a joy to be around. Maybe a good deed or two would improve the mood of some of the crabbies around here.

 

[taximomfor4]

Two things....

BICKER! What are you doing on this thread? Didn't you notice it's on page SIX now?

Just wanted to say to the OP: I think it gets people hackles up when our children are being judged as mannerless or disrespectful of adults because they are sitting on WDW bus seats. If you search, this topic has come up before. Anything that insults peoples' parenting practices is bound to heat up. I, for one, am glad you learned something about others' reasoning. I have disagreed with DISers before, and it was helpful to me also, reading their reasoning.

NUTTYLAWPROFRESSOR: I understand your point, and the child on your lap, and how you learned that from experience. That's how I learned to put my kids into separate seats ... I have more small children than laps. Flinging the arm out to the side was a valuable tool more than once, for me, because I could reach all my kids that way. If one had been on my lap, one arm would have been taken up already. (I just shared my experience in response to yours, because I firmly believe we DO learn from each other!! So thanks for sharing!)

 

[DaisyD]

As an adult I think kids should get the seats before able bodied adults. Standing and balancing on a moving bus is dangerous for kids more then for adults. My DD gets her own seat on the bus as she is just too heavy for my not so good knees. Adults should respect kids too!

 

[snowwhite84]

I absolutely think children should sit on the buses if possible. I would give up my seat to the elderly, ill, pregant, or children. I think they fall into that group that one puts before themselves.

And I think the reason this topic is heating up so much is because it sounds like the OP thinks she's been better taught than the rest of us.

"I guess I was raised differently than most. Show respect for your elders."

I would NEVER expect a child to give me their seat just because I am an adult. Being disabled or really in need is one thing, but I'm not sure where the adult=right to seat over a child idea makes sense. A child would ALWAYS deserve the seat over myself, as I am an able bodied adult. Children, the elderly, pregnant women and the ill come first. Children are included in that group that should be given priority. I guess that's just the way I was raised.

 

[aubriee]

When I go to WDW with my mom, she uses an ECV so we automatically get on the bus first. For her that's fine because she needs the seat. I, however, do not, so feel guilty getting on with her. I usually look at the line waiting as we pull up and try to judge if I stood in that line would I be sitting or standing on the bus. If I'd be sitting I'll usually keep my seat (unless an elderly person or a parent holding a small child needs it), however, if I'd be standing then I look for the next available person that looks like he/she would need a seat and offer the seat to them.

It's a different story when I go with my 9 y/o GD however. I don't want her standing, so we always wait for the next available bus to make sure we have seats. If we have to wait for another bus, there is no way we're giving up those seats. The people getting on behind us could have waited just like we did. It's rude to get on a full bus and then expect someone to give up their seat for you. If you're standing in line and watch the people getting on in front of you, you can pretty much judge if the bus is going to be standing room only. Why not wait for the next bus, if you want a seat?

By the way, I'm a 47 y/o female who would never expect (or even accept) a child giving up his seat for me. Children need to be sitting in moving vehicles.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I absolutely think children should sit on the buses if possible. I would give up my seat to the elderly, ill, pregant, or children. I think they fall into that group that one puts before themselves.

And I think the reason this topic is heating up so much is because it sounds like the OP thinks she's been better taught than the rest of us.

"I guess I was raised differently than most. Show respect for your elders."

I would NEVER expect a child to give me their seat just because I am an adult. Being disabled or really in need is one thing, but I'm not sure where the adult=right to seat over a child idea makes sense. A child would ALWAYS deserve the seat over myself, as I am an able bodied adult. Children, the elderly, pregnant women and the ill come first. Children are included in that group that should be given priority. I guess that's just the way I was raised.

I agree with young children but at what age do they get lump in with the able bodied adults? 6/8/10/12/14/16?

 

[snowwhite84]

"I agree with young children but at what age do they get lump in with the able bodied adults? 6/8/10/12/14/16?"

I don't think anyone would consider a six-year-old an adult. Give up your seat if you want to, but don't get upset when a child (you make the call on what that means) doesn't offer you theirs if you are healthy and perfectly capable of standing.

 

[noodleknitter]

I agree with young children but at what age do they get lump in with the able bodied adults? 6/8/10/12/14/16?

I figure that my nine year old skate boarder has better balance than anyone on the bus...

My 5 year old nephew... better off in a seat with an arm around him!

I will add, that I haven't a need to sit on a bus, nor would I be offended whether or not someone offered a seat. Leaving the park before I am pooped is part of our agenda!

 

[taximomfor4]

I agree with young children but at what age do they get lump in with the able bodied adults? 6/8/10/12/14/16?

Good question. I would say, only the parents know. Not all kids mature at the same rate. My son (6 right now) will stand before my second dd (8 now but has balance issues, among other issues). Therefore, I suppose when we get on a bus, we don't KNOW which kids could/should be standing. I would not presume to state a magic age, I'll just get on the bus and assume that every person on that bus made the best decision for themselves and their own families. (Although having been on Pop Century VERY crowded buses, I completely understand the frustration!!) I really do. But I have also been on the receiving end of the nasty comments, snide asides, and ugly glares when my kids sat in seats. This is a topic that everyone will never agree on. I just hope we all learn from each other, and become a little more tolerant when others make choices different than ours.

 

[crisi]

And I think the reason this topic is heating up so much is because it sounds like the OP thinks she's been better taught than the rest of us.

"I guess I was raised differently than most. Show respect for your elders."

Yep, We raise our kids to treat everyone with respect. And that includes themselves. It is very important to me that my kids don't grow up believing that they are better than others. It is just as important that they don't grow up believing that others are better than them because of age or race or income or gender or religion.

My kids have four rules to live by:

1. Treat others with respect (that's everyone, not age based or gender based or...)

2. Treat yourself with respect.

3. Insist that others treat you with respect.

4. Insist that others treat others with respect.

There is no way for my kids to determine who needs "more" respect on a bus (unless someone obviously needs the seat). Age isn't a good reason. So there is no good way on a bus to apply the first rule except randomly. Random kindness is nice, but that means another kid could get their seat as easily as an adult.

And it breaks the third rule for people to say they need to give up their seats because they are kids. Sorry, that isn't respecting the kid. Its saying the grown up deserves extra respect just for being a grown up. That isn't the way it works in our house. (Your teacher and parents deserve extra respect for their roles - random strangers, nope.)

 

[krissylynne]

I absolutely think children should sit on the buses if possible. I would give up my seat to the elderly, ill, pregant, or children. I think they fall into that group that one puts before themselves.

And I think the reason this topic is heating up so much is because it sounds like the OP thinks she's been better taught than the rest of us.

"I guess I was raised differently than most. Show respect for your elders."

Just to Clarify- This was also in another post.
This is one of the last quotes that I have done. I did say that I did learn about safety. Things were brought to my attention that I did not consider before. The part of showing respect for your elders was hammered into my brain so much while growing up, maybe to much. Maybe, I am still scared of the consequences if I do not show respect when given.
I was raised differently than most was not entirely in a good. ________

 

[snowwhite84]

"I would not presume to state a magic age, I'll just get on the bus and assume that every person on that bus made the best decision for themselves and their own families."

Well said, TaxiMomfor4