Should I shoot my MIL?

[Squidrific]

Squid, you must win some sort of prize.

I like the suggestion of cancelling, then rebooking later, but if you are working around school schedules this may not work.

Anyway, good luck dealing with this sticky situation.

Thanks for the good luck wishes! I wish we could cancel and rebook, but you are correct about the school schedule. This is my daughter's fall break and we go every year during this week for the MNSSHP. If we don't go this week we can't go again until Spring Break - I don't want to go for Spring Break.

 

[Squidrific]

Squid -- you poor soul. I'm just speechless.

DH keeps trying to bring up the theory of inviting MIL on a Disney trip. Doesn't he understand that the anti-Christ isn't allowed in the happiest place on earth?

This is great! LOL

 

[WeluvDisney2]

To the original poster, I would tell her that you have already purchased your Disney tickets and your daughter is really excited about it. If she protests change the subject. Then maybe spend one day at Busch Gardens if you want to. I would rather have a p-'d off MIL in law than a disappointed child! Good luck.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

She already purchased her park tickets and plane ticket before telling me. How do I say no? I am absolutely floored by this!

If she is capable of purchasing her own park tickets and plane ticket, than she is also capable of purchasing her own room.

 

[live and let live]

Squid -- you poor soul. I'm just speechless.

DH keeps trying to bring up the theory of inviting MIL on a Disney trip. Doesn't he understand that the anti-Christ isn't allowed in the happiest place on earth?

Hey heather, I just wondered what the anti-Christ had done to you lol

 

[crisi]

So my ex mother in law.....

My husband (now ex) took a family trip with his parents and sister. Since it was family bonding time, I wasn't invited.

They took his girlfriend. Yep. I didn't know about her at the time, and didn't find out about the trip they took until mid divorce. My mother in law took my husband's mistress on a family vacation while I was in the dark about the infidelity.

 

[cynderella]

Ouch. It's hard to think how anyone could top that bad MIL Disney story, crisi!

 

[AlwaysEeyore]

I totally feel for all of you with horrible MIL's. Anytime we plan a trip anywhere my MIL want's to know "how much is that costing you?" She decided to invite herself on our "next" trip to WDW with the kids. So we thought it over and told her we are planning a trip for her to join us in December of 2008. She didn't act too excited but she said okay.
When she found out that we are going with the kids this August she got all upset and actually whined "I thought I was going with you the next time you are taking the kids" My DH explained to her that it was spur of the moment trip due to the free dining and that we will still be going in December 2008. I hoping to get in a few more trips before we have to take her. I haven't decided yet if we should get 2 rooms or rent points for a 2 bedroom villa. I haven't discussed prices with her yet. She wants DD to stay with her and I will absolutely not allow it. As it is DD has come home from visiting her house and told me about seeing Grandma's ****s when she's getting dressed. The poor kid will have nightmares if she has to share a room with the woman for a week.

 

[unbroken chain]

To the OP: Lowry (sp?) Park Zoo is a good suggestion. I have been there. Also, from the aquarium, you can go on a short cruise - eco-tours:
http://www.flaquarium.org/html/l2/l2_explore_dolphin.html. I did this and my kids liked it.

To Squid: I have stories that would make your hair stand on end, which I will spare you, except to say that it is likely there is a whole lot more going on in terms on the complexity of the relationship your husband has with his mother and it probably affects his behavior with you in a lot of other ways.

Maybe this would be a good trigger point to consider a few sessions with a counselor (with your husband also), who can help your husband understand that he needs to stand up to his mother and can help him understand the damage this could have on his relationship with you. (Not just this incident, but her whole effect on your lives.) Then he might think twice about dropping the whole problem on you. A counselor can't change your mother-in-law but she can help you two change how you deal with her. Also, as to this particular situation, if you were to hear from a counselor that yes, your MIL sounds like she has serious problems with boundaries, and the counselor were to validate that you are justified in saying "sorry, you can't come", and also advise you on some ways to gently tell her "no", all that might be helpful too. Sometimes insurance covers this too. Just a thought.

 

[MadToad]

You guys could write a book...

My MIL is very nice, but I wouldn't dream of spending a night in the same room with her, never mind a week. My advice would have been to move the trip and NOT tell her. She'd figure it out somewhere between the airport and the hotel. He he...

And taking a mistress along on a "family" trip?!? That wins, hands down. The judge must have loved that one.

 

[freediverdude]

Squidrific,
Unfortunately if you can't change your schedule (although you could still change resorts and just go and hope she doesn't find you I suppose), this may force you to just bite the bullet and confront her. Just very plainly tell her, "I'm sorry but you are not invited along on our trip to Disney. This is just for me and my DH to bond with the kids." If she mentions something about having already purchased tickets and airfare, just say very bluntly, "well you did not tell us you were planning on going along before purchasing those, so I'm sorry if you will be out money, but we can't invite you this time". And then if possible, get away as quickly as possible, trying to avoid an extended argument, lol. After this, she will then have to decide if she wants to confront your DH about this and try to overrule you. If she does, then it will be back on your DH's lap to deal with. But hopefully if you've told him what you've done in the meantime, he will choose your side over hers, and then it will be over. If he chooses her side, then there's more serious problems........more than can be dealt with here.....lol. Anyway, that is what I would do, and see how it plays out.

Oops, edited to add- sorry I forgot you said you were going without DH, but I still think everything here in the suggestion applies. She still could try to confront him.

 

[jeast]

I'd love an update after you deal with the situation, squidrific.

 

[ozziewags]

This thread is hilarious for those of us who have Marie Barrone for a MIL. I don't mean to make light of the MIL problems, but you know, misery loves company. A club and all..... My MIL was just like that, only sneaky. She never said anything in front of anyone else, esp. DH, so he just didn't understand. After many years of putting up with what we do for our children, she got the last laugh.....she died.....ON MY BIRTHDAY! I know she planned it, I just don't know how!

 

[Bill From PA]

ozziewags,

Great post. It reminds me of a favorite quote of mine, I forget the author, "I never killed anyone, but I've read many an obituary with a smile'.

Bill From PA

 

[texasthree]

Shoot now.....ask questions later!

Seriously, put your foot down and say you would love to come visit her for x amount of days then you will be heading to disney for x amount of days. Nothing wrong with that! Do go to Busch gardens while your in Tampa, its fun too. Just doesnt compare to disney!

 

[fancythemouse]

My grandmother is like this!! And to think, me as a grandkid would love having my grandma come with us on trips. Sometimes I like having them with us but I do feel my grandma is overbearing and LOVES to play the guilt cards on all of us. It just frustrates me! For example, when were catholic and I was having my first holy communion my grandma took it to be her place to invite other people to the part afterwards, which really pushed my buttons because i did NOT want these people here because I didn't know them well enough and got so angry at my grandmother. But I really do love my grandmother and HOPE AND PRAY to NOT get a MIL that is overbearing.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

So my ex mother in law.....

My husband (now ex) took a family trip with his parents and sister. Since it was family bonding time, I wasn't invited.

They took his girlfriend. Yep. I didn't know about her at the time, and didn't find out about the trip they took until mid divorce. My mother in law took my husband's mistress on a family vacation while I was in the dark about the infidelity.

Yikes! Like mother like son!
I've gone the rounds with my MIL over the years (Including the all out shouting match we had over the phone once) but she would never allow something like that. Thank goodness you are free of that family.

 

[TDC Nala]

I think it's only right that Squid's husband come along on that trip and entertain his mother.

 

[texasthree]

So my ex mother in law.....

My husband (now ex) took a family trip with his parents and sister. Since it was family bonding time, I wasn't invited.

They took his girlfriend. Yep. I didn't know about her at the time, and didn't find out about the trip they took until mid divorce. My mother in law took my husband's mistress on a family vacation while I was in the dark about the infidelity.

Whoa, My MIL is looking better and better as I read this thread!

 

[Jules76126]

Personally I would rather spend any day at Disney than Bush Gradens. I really didnt enjoy the park all that much, there wasnt too much for me to ride (i hate most roller coasters). Tampa is nice for like the zoo and the musumen but personally i dont find i anything special and I have lived here for the past 10 months. Overall I think Disney is the better bet.