Should I quit my gym??

[scrapquitler]

Will the childcare people allow you to stay with her for a while? I would recommend that you transition her to the nursery and then transition her to where you leave to workout. Go to the gym next week (with your workout clothes and everything) except when you get there just go to the nursery. Tell her that it looked like so much fun that you wanted to check it out. Stay with her for 30 minutes and then go home. Don't work out. Do this 3-4 times next week. Encourage the caretakers to play with her too. Encourage her to play with other kids. Make it super fun. The next week stay for 10-20 minutes and then leave for 5 minutes. Increase the amount of time you leave that week. The final week (or so) stay for 5 minutes and then work out. Make sure when you leave she knows that mommy will be back. Good luck!

This sounds like a great idea!

 

[sparklynails23]

I would quit the gym and workout at home. Kids are only little for a short amount of time. I regret the times I made my kids cry it out to go somewhere like that.

 

[pilotwife_02]

Wow, that is a lot for a monthly membership. Our is $42 a month with childcare.

When I lived in NJ I paid $50 a month for my gym and we had an actual spa in it (of course those fees were separate, but just stating that to show that it wasn't a tiny/cheap gym). Where in NJ do you live?

 

[VAfamily1998]

I'd choose the (unmentioned in your OP) option #3 and wake up early to workout. It's tough at first, but once you get used to it it won't be as bad. I typically wake up at 4:30 am so that I have time to workout before my kids are up. There are just too many things going on at night (cleaning up after dinner, kids activities, tv shows I want to watch, etc.) for me to workout at the end of the day.

 

[dakcp2001]

No home gym (outside of the ones some pro athletes have at home) will ever compete with an actual gym. One of the most important things to do while working out is change up the routine and use different equipment and that is hard to do in a home gym, at least much harder than with all the equipment at a proper gym. Add in the classes, indoor tracks, pools, and trainers if you use those and you gym has them and without spending six figures you won't have that in a home gym. $119 seems steep to me but that might be because the OP is in a more expensive area than I am.

I have no advice on the kid issue but wanted to point out why just settling for the home gym isn't a like for like substitute for the actual gym.

I totally agree. The quality of ther equiptment is so much better as well. Working out at home is just not motivating for me, too easy to not do it.

I think you should keep trying. 20-30 minutes of cardio may eventually turn into longer bouts with less crying, she just needs to get used to the new routine. I do agree your gym is expensive, but well it sounds more like a spa. Eventually when she adjusts, you can go there and maybe workout & hit the steam room or relax for a few minutes. Dont give up, working out will teach your kids healthy habits & set a good example. If you give up now, when will you get to go back?

 

[bellebud]

I'm the opposite of most of you - I'd never get dressed, get in my car, drive to the gym, work out, then drive home. Way too much time out of my day.

I like to go right in my basement, early in the morning. I can sing my heart out to my workout music (I couldn't do that in a gym), and jump in the shower when I'm done, feeling great for the day ahead.

I really like a pp's idea (if you decide to stay with the gym) of transitioning your dd slowly in the nursery if they allow it. I myself wouldn't just let my child cry it out, but that's just me.

 

[DonDraper]

I'm mean but I'd let her cry. This is assuming you're working out 5 days a week, so she gets used to seeing the same caretakers and kids, and gets into a routine. If she's still crying a month later, then take another look.

But to me, it's like getting used to daycare or preschool , or any other new setting.

I agree with this. If working out is important to you, you should be able to do it. It's not like leaving your kid in a daycare for a short amount of time is child abuse. She just has to suck it up for a little while..

Also, I've been to Lifetime Fitness and it's very luxurious. Much, much, much nicer than a home gym. A home gym is probably an old treadmill and a rusty barbell. Not exactly my definition of something to look forward to. I find it relaxing to go to my nice gym for an hour or so and work my body. Love it.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

If you had to work and leave her with daycare, she'd have no choice but to get used to it. If you REALLY like the gym, I wouldn't give up on it yet.

 

[Nicolepa]

Here's my 2 cents. I have 3 kids and I pay $90 a month for my husband & I (but he never goes so it's really just me) and another $50 a month for childcare, plus $3 each time my oldest comes. Basic no frills gym. I won't tell you what the fancy ones cost.

2 times is not enough. My youngest was just over 2 when I started going back to the gym. He would cry and seemed to hate it. After a few weeks he was OK with it. Now he LOVES going. I ask him if he wants to go and he runs for his shoes.

My middle child suffered from severe anxiety. I'm telling you that he would never enjoy going but after a couple of months he would accept it.

 

[*JoGo*]

i'm a preschool teacher. we've had all different kinds of kids come through, and only one has ever left because she was upset about her mom. she was on the younger side though and is coming back next year.

but seriously, well over 100 kids, and only 1 left.
the first couple weeks of school can be rough on a few, but the best way we have found to help the kids adjust is for the parent to be firm and make a routine - bring child into preschool, help hang coat/ backpack, hug/kiss, wash hands, then parent out the door. no lingering! a teacher will take the child to an activity, find friends, reassure mom will be back, etc, and by circle time they're fine.
some parents linger... either b/c they don't know what to do or they feel bad leaving their upset child. lingering draws out the good-bye, and reinforces that crying will get mom to stay longer b/c s/he sees other parents leaving but his/hers is still there.

i'd talk to the childcare workers at the gym, see if there's a regular down-time during the day, and take your daughter then if possible. do this as often as you plan to go from the start - if you planned to only go 3 days a week, then do 3 days a week now. if you're going to go 5 days, do it from the get-go, don't work up to it. so she gets used to the routine and realizes that every day mommy DOES come back... and that you're going to the gym regardless.

maybe take her for a 'treat' after your workout... a drink in the cafe or a swim in the pool.

start now. if she's still having fits when it's time to renew, i'd reevaluate then. use this month as a trial. more than likely after a couple weeks she will be fine.

good luck!!!
(btw, i've also been the parent in this scenario, not just the teacher... i know it's hard! i've had my son peeled off my leg, but 10 minutes later he's playing and forgotten all about me!)

 

[woodkins]

Thank you for all of the replies! I can't depend on my husband watching the kids at all. He works very late and needs his sleep.

I could work out in our basement gym around 10 when he is home and if the kids get up for whatever reason he would take care of it.

Mygtm is lifetime fitness and it is like a resort with pools, a salon, tons of classes, a cafe. That is why it costs so much.

I am not good at handling my daughte
rs meltdownd. They ar loud and fierce.

I live on Long Island and even by our cost of living standards that is ALOT of money for a gym. My current gym has daycare, pools, tennis (indoor/outdoor), racquetball, hourly classes from 6am to 9pm), spinning, cafe, tanning, an indoor basketball and hockey rink & for a yearly membership for all ammenities it is $600.

I personally would keep going to the gym but at the slowest time possible, knowing that the babysitter would be able to hold them etc. Even if you go for 15 mins a day the first week, 20 the second etc. My dd is an only child and also had separation issues and that is how we handled it. There will be crying and you need to just stay strong and tough it out.

 

[disykat]

Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but why can't you exercise in your home gym with dd playing nearby?

 

[Kellydelly]

Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but why can't you exercise in your home gym with dd playing nearby?

I agree. You don't have to constantly hold your two year old all day, do you?

 

[robinb]

I live on Long Island and even by our cost of living standards that is ALOT of money for a gym. My current gym has daycare, pools, tennis (indoor/outdoor), racquetball, hourly classes from 6am to 9pm), spinning, cafe, tanning, an indoor basketball and hockey rink & for a yearly membership for all ammenities it is $600.

Wow! Your gym is *cheap*! My local Wisconsin YMCA is $65 per month and doesn't have any tanning, cafe or hockey rink.

 

[taitai]

I actually don't think your gym membership is too high. I think that is what we pay here in Minnesota (also Lifetime) and we get indoor and outdoor pools, water park, classes, cafe, restaurant, indoor and outdoor tennis, spa, salon, shop, locker rooms, child care, family locker room, climbing wall, racquetball, bball, etc. Also, that $120/month price is for the entire family. Having the gym membership has significantly improved our quality of life. It is what we do. Both my husband and I go every day and on the weekend we bring the kids. While we work out, they play basketball or soccer or in the 3 story maze in the child care center or do a craft or work on the iMacs. After our work out we all might go to the pool or play tennis together. Then, we hit the cafe for lunch before grabbing a shower (it is so much easier to shower the kids there....everyone gets their own stall and it goes so fast) and heading home. Really, we would pay a lot more to keep this in our life.

Having said that, our boys were a bit nervous the first couple of times as well. The child care center staff were great about letting us go in with them for 10 or 15 minutes to get them acclimated. We just decreased the amount of time until we could just drop them off and go. The first couple of times we only left them in there 10 minutes or so before taking them out. We stretched that out too and now we can leave them in there for an hour or so with no problems. They love it.

Good luck with your decision. Working out at the gym is sacred to me and not something I would give up with out a big fight.

 

[mefordis]

Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but why can't you exercise in your home gym with dd playing nearby?

I can't do the treadmill with her around. She will try to climb on it. Trust me -- it would be very dangerous. I don't even want her in the gym because we have tons of free weights and other equipment. She would mess with it and get hurt.

Last night I went down and worked out after the kids went to bed. It totally worked out and I got to take my time.

I think I need to kick myself in the behind and get down there every night. It is the best way and in 3 years I could save enough for a Disney trip, with what I would have spent on the $119 / month gym membership!

 

[mefordis]

I actually don't think your gym membership is too high. I think that is what we pay here in Minnesota (also Lifetime) and we get indoor and outdoor pools, water park, classes, cafe, restaurant, indoor and outdoor tennis, spa, salon, shop, locker rooms, child care, family locker room, climbing wall, racquetball, bball, etc. Also, that $120/month price is for the entire family. Having the gym membership has significantly improved our quality of life. It is what we do. Both my husband and I go every day and on the weekend we bring the kids. While we work out, they play basketball or soccer or in the 3 story maze in the child care center or do a craft or work on the iMacs. After our work out we all might go to the pool or play tennis together. Then, we hit the cafe for lunch before grabbing a shower (it is so much easier to shower the kids there....everyone gets their own stall and it goes so fast) and heading home. Really, we would pay a lot more to keep this in our life.

Having said that, our boys were a bit nervous the first couple of times as well. The child care center staff were great about letting us go in with them for 10 or 15 minutes to get them acclimated. We just decreased the amount of time until we could just drop them off and go. The first couple of times we only left them in there 10 minutes or so before taking them out. We stretched that out too and now we can leave them in there for an hour or so with no problems. They love it.

Good luck with your decision. Working out at the gym is sacred to me and not something I would give up with out a big fight.

Yep, we have an Onyx club that has all you mention above. I am going to FREEZE my account for $10 a month. That way I can start up again when my dd starts preschool in the fall. I can go while she is in school!

 

[wvjules]

Yep, we have an Onyx club that has all you mention above. I am going to FREEZE my account for $10 a month. That way I can start up again when my dd starts preschool in the fall. I can go while she is in school!

Well, since she is going to preschool in the fall I would continue with the gym NOW so she can get used to being away from you. Starting out at 20-30 minutes at a time will be a lot easier than jumping in with 1/2 a day.

ETA: Do you always give in to her because her tantrums are "fierce and you can't handle them"? If so you need to stop that now. It will only get worse.

 

[princesspeach]

Thank you for all of the replies! I can't depend on my husband watching the kids at all. He works very late and needs his sleep.

I could work out in our basement gym around 10 when he is home and if the kids get up for whatever reason he would take care of it.

Mygtm is lifetime fitness and it is like a resort with pools, a salon, tons of classes, a cafe. That is why it costs so much.

I am not good at handling my daughte
rs meltdownd. They ar loud and fierce.

I love liftetime fitness. I pay 100.00 for our family of four and its worth every penny. I have seen a lot of kids have meltdowns when their parents leave. I have also seen a lot of frustrated parents being paged to pick up their kids. I feel for you. I would keep trying. I am sure it is just a phase she is going through. When she gets older she is going to love going there everyday to play in the child care center. It's incredible for those of you that have never seen it. My kids are 6 and 8 and still love it. She will also love the water slides at the pool. They are better than any of the disney resort slides. I would not quit you may end up having to pay more if you wan't to resign. Kids are smart she problably knows if she keeps crying you will come get her. I know the girls that work at our gym are really good at working with the parents. Maybe you can develop some kind of plan with them.

 

[mefordis]

You are talking me into staying with the gym. I think I'm going to put my account on hold for a few months. That way I can think about it and avoid any rejoin fees.

I love liftetime fitness. I pay 100.00 for our family of four and its worth every penny. I have seen a lot of kids have meltdowns when their parents leave. I have also seen a lot of frustrated parents being paged to pick up their kids. I feel for you. I would keep trying. I am sure it is just a phase she is going through. When she gets older she is going to love going there everyday to play in the child care center. It's incredible for those of you that have never seen it. My kids are 6 and 8 and still love it. She will also love the water slides at the pool. They are better than any of the disney resort slides. I would not quit you may end up having to pay more if you wan't to resign. Kids are smart she problably knows if she keeps crying you will come get her. I know the girls that work at our gym are really good at working with the parents. Maybe you can develop some kind of plan with them.