Should I put DD in the same preschool class as her cousin?

[briannesmom]

I am registering DD for preschool next week and I am not sure what to do. My SIL and MIL are really pushing to have my DD and DN in the same class but I don’t think that it is a good idea. The girls are 2 months apart in age and don’t really get along very well for long. They always want to play together but after about 10 minutes the fighting starts. They just have totally different personalities. My DD is kind of go with the flow and DN is more overbearing and bossy.
It would be nice for DD to go into class knowing someone, on the other hand I don’t want her to be overshadowed by her cousin. DH told his Mom we will probably be putting DD in a different class and she was a little ticked. She thinks that cousins should be together.
I am probably overreacting it’s only 2 days a week for 2 hours.

What do you think?

 

[Barb D]

I would keep them apart. Let your DD make her own friends and develop her own personality. Since you live near each other they'll see each other enough outside of school.

 

[Sandy V.]

I'd put her in a different class. They need to have their own "space" and make their own friends.

Additionally separate classes means less opportunities for developmental, social, physical, etc., comparisons by family members as well.

 

[4chitlins]

Have had my twins in the same class and in different classes. They by far prefer to be in the same class. They are totally different in every possible way and do quite a bit of fighting but they still want to be in the same class

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If they don't get along for more than 10 mins. it is silly to put them in a class together. Your SIL & MIL sound like quite the pair.

 

[Evil Queen]

Different classes. My oldest son and his cousin, 1 year younger, shared band classes in middle and high school. They got along and played different instruments. And by their ages they had already made their own friends. But pre-school-I would say no.

 

[I Love Pluto]

Agree - different classes.

 

[Blondy876]

Different classes. In fact, in the district I work in, they do whatever they can to put related kids in different classes.

 

[paigevz]

Former Pre-K teacher says if you don't have to, don't. There are issues with comparisons, liking/not liking teachers and procedures, and if the girls don't get along at school, discipline issues.....................you don't need to add all that to other family issues. Let them go in separate classes and make new friends, they'll see each other plenty...............

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Is there more than one class at their age at the same school? If so, it seems best if they were at the same school, but in different classes. If not, I would put them in the same class since you should base your choice on the best school for your child and if that is the best school, I wouldn't worry too much if they are together. But I'm assuming you've both decided on the school and are just deciding on the class (and there is more than one).

At preschools that my kids have gone to, we, as parents, couldn't decide on the class/teacher. The school placed them, balancing boys/girls, older and younger kids, trying to get a diverse group of kids in each class, etc, etc.

 

[TinkNH]

I am registering DD for preschool next week and I am not sure what to do. My SIL and MIL are really pushing to have my DD and DN in the same class but I don’t think that it is a good idea. The girls are 2 months apart in age and don’t really get along very well for long. They always want to play together but after about 10 minutes the fighting starts. They just have totally different personalities. My DD is kind of go with the flow and DN is more overbearing and bossy.
It would be nice for DD to go into class knowing someone, on the other hand I don’t want her to be overshadowed by her cousin. DH told his Mom we will probably be putting DD in a different class and she was a little ticked. She thinks that cousins should be together.
I am probably overreacting it’s only 2 days a week for 2 hours.

What do you think?

AMY?!? Is that you? This sounds EXACTLY like me and my sil! my DD and my DN were due less than a week apart..but DD made a surprise early arrival so they are exactly 2 months apart. They are best of friends..and cry when they cannot see each other but as soon as we put them together ...the fighting starts! And DN is a more assertive and aggressive kid than my DD so them being in school together was something I did not want. Lucky for me my DB and DSIL moved from this town to one a few over so that removed the possibility of them being together. I think you need to do what you think is best for YOUR child. I love my DN as if she were my own...but I don't think the two of them together in school would be a good idea at all!

 

[briannesmom]

AMY?!? Is that you? This sounds EXACTLY like me and my sil! my DD and my DN were due less than a week apart..but DD made a surprise early arrival so they are exactly 2 months apart. They are best of friends..and cry when they cannot see each other but as soon as we put them together ...the fighting starts! And DN is a more assertive and aggressive kid than my DD so them being in school together was something I did not want. Lucky for me my DB and DSIL moved from this town to one a few over so that removed the possibility of them being together. I think you need to do what you think is best for YOUR child. I love my DN as if she were my own...but I don't think the two of them together in school would be a good idea at all!

My heart dropped when I started reading your post! My name is Amy. If my SIL was on the Dis where could I go to complain about my inlaws
Your DD and DN sound EXACTLY like mine.

Thanks for the input everyone. I think I will try to keep them apart if possible. When they get to kindergarten they will be in different schools but our district does not have preschool at all of the elementary schools. You get to pick and choose school and time based on availability.

Thanks guys I don't feel like I am being too unreasonable anymore.

Amy

 

[daisyduck123]

1st grade teacher here...

I don't think it really matters. You are a little worried about them not getting along, but being in the same class will actually help them learn to get along together - that is what being in a class is all about - learning to work/play/co-exist together. Everyone in my class learns to get along together.

 

[TinkNH]

My heart dropped when I started reading your post! My name is Amy. If my SIL was on the Dis where could I go to complain about my inlaws
Your DD and DN sound EXACTLY like mine.


Amy

omg..i had no idea! that is TOO funny! I knew you werent *MY* amy tho cause she has a Lexie..and I assume you have a Brianne

Reading your post I couldnt help think that your two little ones sounded like ours. Every day my Abbey asks if she can play with Lexie..and when I do go over to my moms (she watches DN while SIL works) within a few munites they are either fighting and refusing to play together or just very very silly and loud. I think in a lot of ways it is because they are so so close..almost like they were siblings...that things can be quite intense for them We had actually enrolled them both in a gymnastics class together last year and after just a few weeks my mom moved my DN to another day because neither of them was abler to focus on the coach with the other there. Like I said..just do what you feel is best for your child, and if you explain it they should understand.

 

[Markiesgirl]

My youngest son was in the same preschool class last year with my neice who is a 4 months younger. I have been her daycare provider since she was a newborn so they are more like siblings and do occasionally fight like siblings. For the most part they do get along very well so we had no problems at all at school. The teacher's aide actually forgot they were related until she saw a family photo project they did.

I thought they would stick together and ignore everybody else but they did the exact opposite. They made new friends and almost avoided each other like "hey, I can play with you anytime!".
They start PreK together next week!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

You just described my DD and DN, but they are 3 months apart. I would definitely put them in separate classes. My DN's strong personality has upset my DD in the past. I couldn't imagine having to subject her to that voluntarily at school. Good Luck.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have not read any of the replies so this is just my answer from my experience.

I was born in Feb. and have a cousin who was born the Dec. before me. (2 months difference in our ages also) I have always dearly loved her and still do. HOWEVER,

there was not any choices of separate classes for us. We were together until 4th grade. She had the stronger personality and I was always #2 or the follower. There were some great things about that.

And some bad things. I did feel like I was in her shadow. She was so smart. She went on to be president of her class etc. and even Valedictorian. I moved away in 4th grade and felt great relief to start on my own even though I was a bit scared w/o her. Finally, I could let my light shine!

Fast forward to a few years ago. My sister and I had baby girls 4 months apart. We did do preschool together for them but there was no way on God's earth I was going to have them together in a regular classroom. We even chose different schools and she really wanted me to keep the girls together. I was a bit of the *bad* guy for awhile but I had very strong feelings about the whole thing since I had grown up as the child in the shadow.

Good luck in your decision. It will make an impact on your child.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would put them in seperate classes and let them make seperate friends etc. At my daughters preschool they had classes starting at 9, 915 and 930 so you signed up for the class you wanted, you could avoid anyuone you didn't want to be in the same class with that way LOL.. In her grade school its policy not to put sibs together so in her grade there are triplets, all split up with a different teacher each year. She also has a set of siblings in the same grade but one was left back in Kindergarten so they are in the same grade now but different classes-the only way we knew the kid was left back is because the sub that wasn't left back makes a point of telling everyone that this is HER real grade, her sib is only there becuase he was left back.

 

[LindaG4458]

As one who lived it, put them in separate classes. We had three cousins in the same grade in the same school. Two of us had the same last name so we were never in the same class. The third was with me for four years and with my other cousin for two years. I really like those two years! Between the academic differences, personality differences, family gossip about every little thing, it was terrible being in the same class.

It would have been nice to be able to go to another school but that was not possible. When I was in fifth grade there were eight cousins in the school, but, after us, not more than two in the same grade. they were intentionally separated in the classroom.