Should I or should I not? Help me decide!(updated!)

[tjmw2727]

Why don't I go back to school, somebody asked. Because I don't know what I would go back for. I didn't know what I wanted to be 10 years ago when I was actually IN school. I don't know what I want to be now.
snip
TOV

Don't you think its time to decide?

Think about taking some responsibility for yourself, for your sake and the sake of your family especially your son. You are modeling behavior that he is going to use as a role for his life. Are you happy, is this what you want for your son? Working to get a paycheck sounds sad to me, honestly when you think of the amount of time we spend at work wouldn't it be better spend doing something you enjoy? What you tell your son in this situation, just try and make a buck?

You made mistakes and they cost you your job(s), take ownership and decide if and how you want to change. Otherwise everything is going to stay the same. Everyone makes mistakes, its how you react to them that counts. Take responsibility for them and learn from them and don't make the same mistakes again. Ask yourself if it were your son left alone on the playground what you think should have happend?

You can find a million reasons why things can't change and why you can't go back to school or why you can't do that job. You can also find a million reasons why you can and should. Its up to you.

This thread has some wonderful advice, but in the end its up to you.

TJ

 

[Mskanga]

First of all you need to figure out what it is that you want to change in your life , if you still do not know what you want to be at this point then you have a bigger problem than you think.
Second you can't get a job just thinking it's paycheck , you will be miserable as long as you keep doing that.

 

[grlpwrd]

I'm sure this is on lots of people's minds ...

.

I really hope you get your life in order...

 

[MeanLaureen]

I know Matt posted for me earlier this morning, but I just wanted to reiterate it to you TOV...

Managers can see your attitude before you even get in the door. It shows in your application and in your resume. If you get an interview, your posture, presence and manner of speech will be screaming out to them that all you want is to do is absolutely as little as you have to to get whatever money they are willing to give you.

If you get past a manager that isn't as fine tuned in hiring or get brought on by one that is in "desperate need of a warm body" - and we honestly call employees that show up for payday "warm bodies" and only schedule them just so that a dedicated employee is left alone in the store. Anyway, if you make it in a company and you keep up the attitude you showed here.. you won't last 2 months. I guarantee it. Either the novice manager will wise up or another manager training them will clue them in and you will be dismissed for the first thing they can get you on or they will cut you back to 3 hours a week until you leave because you can't live off your paycheck. Thats my job - I've helped countless new managers "clean house" of warm bodies.

You need to sit yourself down and read what everyone has said.. it's a maturing moment. You aren't a child, you aren't a teen, you aren't in college - you are an adult, you are a wife and you are a mother. You can't take the attitude of a 15 yr old saying you just want a paycheck.

Figure out what you want to do with your life and do what you need to accomplish it - whether it be school, training or a MAJOR attitude overhaul on how you percieve the perfect life. Your family cannot live on one paycheck so you have to work, just like the vast majority of us. God knows at night when I can't walk 10 feet to the bathroom from the pain I wish I could just sit at home and have money magically appear in my bank account so I don't have to go through this everyday, but it's not. But I'm never going to disrespect my employer by having the attitude that I am only working for the paycheck - because it's not just disrespecting your employer and the company - it's also disrespecting yourself.

 

[dumboiu]

I know Matt posted for me earlier this morning, but I just wanted to reiterate it to you TOV...

Managers can see your attitude before you even get in the door. It shows in your application and in your resume. If you get an interview, your posture, presence and manner of speech will be screaming out to them that all you want is to do is absolutely as little as you have to to get whatever money they are willing to give you.

If you get past a manager that isn't as fine tuned in hiring or get brought on by one that is in "desperate need of a warm body" - and we honestly call employees that show up for payday "warm bodies" and only schedule them just so that a dedicated employee is left alone in the store. Anyway, if you make it in a company and you keep up the attitude you showed here.. you won't last 2 months. I guarantee it. Either the novice manager will wise up or another manager training them will clue them in and you will be dismissed for the first thing they can get you on or they will cut you back to 3 hours a week until you leave because you can't live off your paycheck. Thats my job - I've helped countless new managers "clean house" of warm bodies.

You need to sit yourself down and read what everyone has said.. it's a maturing moment. You aren't a child, you aren't a teen, you aren't in college - you are an adult, you are a wife and you are a mother. You can't take the attitude of a 15 yr old saying you just want a paycheck.

Figure out what you want to do with your life and do what you need to accomplish it - whether it be school, training or a MAJOR attitude overhaul on how you percieve the perfect life. Your family cannot live on one paycheck so you have to work, just like the vast majority of us. God knows at night when I can't walk 10 feet to the bathroom from the pain I wish I could just sit at home and have money magically appear in my bank account so I don't have to go through this everyday, but it's not. But I'm never going to disrespect my employer by having the attitude that I am only working for the paycheck - because it's not just disrespecting your employer and the company - it's also disrespecting yourself.

BRAVO.....Incredibly well said.

 

[kristen821]

In the op's defense take in mind I don't know her and maybe you guys do know her a little more then I do, but maybe her writing came off harsher then she actually meant it. We all work for a paycheck. There aren't to many people that would continue to do thier job for free if they won the lottery. but that doesn't make us all slackers.

 

[Microcell]

You need to go back to school and in Psychology 101 you will learn about your personality type in four words: External locus of control. You blame everyone but yourself for what is wrong with your life. You need to work on an Internal locus of control, and take your share of the blame.

ML said all you need to know. MY DH is quite sucessful for a guy with no college and he does it in one word: PROFESSIONALISM!

When something goes wrong, he does not engage in the blame game. He keeps his head up and a positive attitude (with EVERYONE but me). He never complains to anyone but me. Last year he was told that there were "Complaints about how he is not nice" most probably by a person who wanted his job, and they threatened to demote him. I have worked for him, and he is just a hard worker who expects others to work hard too. He is not mean, but he is firm that a job get done. He stood his ground in a professional manner and said he would like to explore other options than being demoted and they did manage to find him a completely different job, that does not involve management (thank goodness). He is so much happier than if he quit in a huff or walked around with a chip on his shoulder.

You have never met a person to whom more things happened that were out of his control, but he keeps rolling with things and is better for it.

 

[aprilgail2]

I've never had a director tell me to count students when moving from one place to another. There has to be a point when everyday common sense kick in.

Thats pretty much common sense! When I go on class trips with my daughter they give each mom 4 kids and I spend the time going..1,2,3,4 so I don't lose anyone!
I couldn't imagine having to look for a new job now at this point in my life...I haven't had to look for a job in 22 years...I made sure I got a job with a pension and good benefits when I was young and now in 6 years I can look forward to retirement with a full pension and benefits....the thought of having to look and start a new job in my 30's would make me ill...

 

[dreamflight99]

I know Matt posted for me earlier this morning, but I just wanted to reiterate it to you TOV...

Managers can see your attitude before you even get in the door. It shows in your application and in your resume. If you get an interview, your posture, presence and manner of speech will be screaming out to them that all you want is to do is absolutely as little as you have to to get whatever money they are willing to give you.

If you get past a manager that isn't as fine tuned in hiring or get brought on by one that is in "desperate need of a warm body" - and we honestly call employees that show up for payday "warm bodies" and only schedule them just so that a dedicated employee is left alone in the store. Anyway, if you make it in a company and you keep up the attitude you showed here.. you won't last 2 months. I guarantee it. Either the novice manager will wise up or another manager training them will clue them in and you will be dismissed for the first thing they can get you on or they will cut you back to 3 hours a week until you leave because you can't live off your paycheck. Thats my job - I've helped countless new managers "clean house" of warm bodies.

You need to sit yourself down and read what everyone has said.. it's a maturing moment. You aren't a child, you aren't a teen, you aren't in college - you are an adult, you are a wife and you are a mother. You can't take the attitude of a 15 yr old saying you just want a paycheck.

Figure out what you want to do with your life and do what you need to accomplish it - whether it be school, training or a MAJOR attitude overhaul on how you percieve the perfect life. Your family cannot live on one paycheck so you have to work, just like the vast majority of us. God knows at night when I can't walk 10 feet to the bathroom from the pain I wish I could just sit at home and have money magically appear in my bank account so I don't have to go through this everyday, but it's not. But I'm never going to disrespect my employer by having the attitude that I am only working for the paycheck - because it's not just disrespecting your employer and the company - it's also disrespecting yourself.

Perfectly written and stated.

 

[Poohnatic]

TOV,

I wasn't going to jump in, but I stand behind Lauri's words 100%. I've been a personnel director for a fast food franchise, in addition to nearly 20 years of retail management. Even for those entry level jobs, I wouldn't hire anyone with the attitude you have about working.

You ask why? Well, I (and my fellow managers) would rather work short staffed with good people than be fully staffed with warm bodies. I'd had occasions where my district manager would complain that I was understaffed, and the response was that I wasn't hiring people to just fill the quota-I was hiring hard workers.

You're what? 28 years old? Get your act together and figure out what YOU can do to make yourself a happy person. No one can do it for you. So far as I know, nobody's hiring "fun suckers" to bring down the rest of their staff.

Like Lauri, if I look at an app and see that the past few jobs span less than two years, then I'm going to be asking A LOT of questions about the job hopping. That is, if you even get to an interview. If you're 20 and that's on the application, I understand it. But to be your age, not so much.

Finding a good job, one you like, is not easy. It takes time and a lot of research. I start a new job tomorrow morning. I started looking in early February and went to several job fairs, sent out a lot of resumes and had quite a few interviews. I've had offers-but I'm sure if I went into interviews defeated and thinking "I suck", I wouldn't have received a single one.

Put yourself in the person hiring's shoes-would I hire me? Why not? And if not, what can I do to change that?

Suzanne

 

[Planogirl]

Ditto. Have you ever contemplated work at the DMV or POST OFFICE? Seems like you would be perfect for these jobs! But then again...there is a bit of "counting" required at both. Hmmm. (sorry...couldn't resist).

I know of a few perfectly nice people that work for the DMV or post office. Am I missing some joke here?

 

[Talking Hands]

Maybe after a decade in the business, it's common sense to you NOW. But think about the beginning..when you had no experience in the field. It may not have been so 'common sense'' then as it is now. *shrug* But what do I know?

TOV

NO it is common sense for anyone working with or having children. I am a constant head counter and I have only 7 students to keep track of (kindergarden) Used to take my nieces and nephews out along with my 2 (total of 7 kids) and never lost one of them.

 

[tjmw2727]

Ditto.
Have you ever contemplated work at the DMV or POST OFFICE? Seems like you would be perfect for these jobs! But then again...there is a bit of "counting" required at both. Hmmm. (sorry...couldn't resist).

Wow! Three of my very close friends work for the post, two are letter carriers and one works in the office. All three love what they do and do it well. I can say for sure than none of them are just in it for a paycheck and that it can be very interesting, challenging and rewarding work. Hopefully I have misunderstood your sarcastic sounding comment!

TJ

 

[aprilgail2]

I know of a few perfectly nice people that work for the DMV or post office. Am I missing some joke here?

I have yet to have any dealings with ANYONE nice at the DMV around here! They all are the nastiest meanest people I have ever had to deal with....I am sure dealing with the public every day of the week drives them to it but they are some nasty people!

 

[Poohnatic]

DF, my husband works for the post office. Long hours and hard work with no benefits. Their turnover is VERY high, because an employee can work 2 days one week and six the next-or only get their one contracted day each week for six months.
He's lucky, he likes the work, but doesn't like how it is feast or famine. One sometimes has to wait years to become a Regular with benefit.

I believe TOV is trying to find the Monday to Friday holy grail, and the post office is not the place for that. Yes, civil service *could* be an avenue for her, but I've seen many a bright person bomb on that one.

Temping is probably the best route for her to go, but that's only my opinion.

Suzanne

 

[MeanLaureen]

Like Lauri, if I look at an app and see that the past few jobs span less than two years, then I'm going to be asking A LOT of questions about the job hopping. That is, if you even get to an interview. If you're 20 and that's on the application, I understand it. But to be your age, not so much.
Suzanne

Suzanne, that is my first stop on an application as well. Second stop? What they listed as what they disliked about each job.

I can tell you right now that if I see one thing in that box about your boss, your company or your coworkers that is even remotely negative, you will NEVER get a call from me. Why in the world would I want to waste my time interviewing someone who blasts their past employer? 1) it shows no tact even if true and 2) it shows you expect to blame everyone but yourself for your own actions and 3) I'll be listed there on your next application after I let you go because you either wanted to write your own rules, blame someone else for something done wrong or because you wanted your paycheck without putting forth the effort it takes to EARN one.

So that's just a heads up to people new in the "job search" field. No matter how much you want to blame someone else for your own failure at a job, if you write it down for a potential employer to see - don't expect to even get your foot in the door. You might think it's warrented in your mind, but trust me - it sends off so many different red flags it's not even funny.

 

[ducklite]

When I've left a job because of an issue with the employer or a co-worker, I simply put that I was looking for something new or more challenging, or just that it was time for a change of scenery.

Of course in my case my average time on a job in the past 14 years is 4.5 years, never less than 1.5, and the reason for leaving that job was a 3+ hour commute each way that was just killing me--a very understandable explanation.

Anne

 

[Lanshark]

You'll never achieve what you want, if you even know what you want, by making excuses and blaming others. Take responsibility and you will eventually be able to take control of your future.

 

[mum4jenn]

Go to the nearest college (career development)and find out about taking a test to find out your interests and then it will be scored and the results should show what kind of job you should have.


I took this test many years ago and it showed food service. I did not want that to be the answer though!! I went through several jobs where I just went through the motions and I hated each and every job. I just wanted to get out of the food business so I tried several things. Nothing really worked for me. The job I have now (school lunchroom manager) is a job that I love!! It was the perfect match for me. I am a leader type of person so I get to do that. I like to cook so I still get to do that sometimes. I enjoy the interaction with the teachers but I only have to deal with them a short part of the day so it is just enough for me!! I love this job and have no further plans to go any where else. This is a job I feel comfortable retiring from. Yes the money is horrible and I could be making much much more from other food related businesses but this is the perfect fit for me.

You just have to get a better attitude. Look at your interests and find a job that you can enjoy and be happy with and stop looking at how you can just find a paycheck and ways of thrying to get your employers in trouble.

Someone suggested finding something with computers or typing. This could be the answer for you.

 

[dreamflight99]

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this thread, but I just read the posts about my DMV/PO suggestion. Some of my dearest friends also work in these offices, and work hard. I suggested it, as it does NOT involve working with CHILDREN in any capacity (which takes a special kind of person), and pays very well. Face it, forgetting a child on the playground could have proved tragic, and is somewhat frightening (especially if it were YOUR own child she forgot).

Yet, as Poohnatic clearly reminded me...such professions require a LOT of hard work & staying power to actually obtain all the full benefits and pay. This also involves a lot of sacrifice, which most do not withstand. Therefore, she may not be interested after all. They are certainly NOT the places to go, if one is seeking an EASY "Holy Grail" job/paycheck!

Sorry if anyone misinterpreted my suggestion. Thanks to all who didn't, and added to the comment in a positive manner.