Should I let my Dad foot the bill?

[DannyDisneyFreak]

Let me start by explaining that my Mom is on Kidney dyalisis for kidney problems and is suffering with a few other medical problems, her and my Dad have not had a vacation in at least 4 or 5 years. My Dad just offered yesterday to pay for us all (Mom, Dad, Myself, DW and DD age 2) to go to WDW. He will have to borrow the money from his life insurance to do this though. I told him that I didn't want him to do that but he said he wants to and that the amount he will borrow will not be a problem. So should we let him do this?

 

[trennr]

Dan,

My Dad's doing a similar thing for my family AND my Brother's...we are letting him do it because he wants this chance for him and my mom to enjoy their grandchildren and make some lasting memories with them. This is a VERY uncharacteristic thing for my Father (Uncle Scrooge himself) to do.

My dad's 70 and my mom is 69....their age and health problems may not afford them many more opportunities to do something like this again.

I remember when my brother was having trouble getting off of work for our trip my dad just kept saying...I'm affraid we might be too old next year.

Some might think I'm being selfish...(maybe a little)...but the way I see it if it's something your dad REALLY wants to do...then you'd be MORE selfish not to let him do it.

Hope your mom's treatments keep her in good health.

Hope my little blurp helps too!

 

[Goofyta]

I think it is "foot the bill". If your dad wants to do it let him.

 

[dsnymomof4]

Definitely let him do it! The experience of being at Disney with your family obviously means more to him than money. Make wonderful memories and have a great time!

 

[tmt martins]

Yes let him do this .You can take care of some things while your down there like meals and stuff.

But you can also take some money and put it away (cd or savings account).If something should happen you could just give that money over and just say Thanks for a wonderful trip back when.

 

[sameyeyam]

How about offering to pay for meals &/or park tickets? He could then pay for airfare & hotel and it might make you feel a little better about having them pay for everything when they really can't afford it. I really hate to see anyone borrow money to take a vacation, but I can understand with your mother's condition that it might be warranted.

Enjoy this trip though, we took my mother with us last year, she passed away unexpectedly 1 month later. I have some wonderful last memories of my Disney vacation with her!

 

[ENSOCK]

I would let him do it if that is what he wants. I agree with the poster who said offer to pay for the meals or for the passes to the parks. Go and try not to worry. Losing my mom last year, trust me in saying "make as many memories as you can for life is entirely to short and they will be gone before you know it."

 

[DannyDisneyFreak]

For those who suggested paying for meals and/or tickets, we would but we can't afford it. We just went in Jan. and can't afford that now but would love to go soon. Dad wants to go the week after Thanksgiving. All we could afford is a couple hundred spending money, I'm not even sure we can both get the time off. If we do go it will be awesome though, I'll you guys posted.

 

[HayGan]

While I can understand your concern in not wanting him to do it, if that is what he wants to do then I say let him! This obviously is something that is very important to him and some things in life are more precious than money!

 

[melomouse]

Hi -

Your post struck me powerfully....

DH was on dialysis for 6 years. It is relatively easy to arrange it over at Celebration during your stay, if you take Dad up on his offer.It is hard to be the spouse of a dialysis patient. They BOTH need a vacation!!

My Mom joined us at WDW and I was nuts over how much she insisted on paying for. A year later, she got ill.

I agree with the other posters. Think about it as Dad giving you some of your inheritance while he's still here to share it with you, DW and DD! You are giving both your parents alot of joy in taking the trip.

Adult children almost always feel a bit awkward about taking from parents, I think that's probably normal. Pick up a dinner check, special tickets, whatever they will let you do....

I cannot tell you how wonderful this offer is for everyone in your family. It's hard to see into the future, but I will let you know that WDW remains, for me, filled with the memories and spirits of DH and DM.

Let us know what you decide and if we can help in the planning in any way!

 

[Jrabbit910]

I can understand your dad wanting to go on vacation to Disney w/ ur mom and and kids to enjoy a family trip.. For your dad to be under all this pressure at home of course he wants to get away, but if he has to borrow the money to take you away as well it just seems sad and unaffordable. He would have to pay back money that he doesnt have.. because if he had it he wouldnt have to borrow it.
You stated that you just went in January and you wouldnt have the money to afford meals or such things on this trip..well if you didnt have the money either why would you consider it?? Do you see your parents on a daily basis?
I agree w/ spending as much time w/ them as possible.
did you invite your dad when you went?? Has your Dad ever been to Disney before??
Everybody knows that Disney is expensive, imo, why put yourself or your family in more trouble then they already are???
He wants to go the week after Thanksgiving, why not just plan a long weekend trip and see if that is more afforable for all of you. I wish your family nothing but the best and hope all things go well no matter what your choices are.

 

[cdrn1]

It seems to me that your father wants to do this for your mother as well as you; perhaps he is thinking that she may not be able to go with you in the future so let's make some wonderful memories now. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that; if that is what he truly wants to do, he may be sad and disappointed if you refuse. Maybe you could help him plan it so that he doesn't spend more money than he needs to.
I often treat my grown children to trips; I do it because I want to spend time with them in wonderful places without cutting in to their budgets. I just treated my youngest DD and her DH and DD at POFQ last week. We had a great time and I consider it money well spent.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

In the past two years I have seen my parents health go from go..go.. go, to my father not being able to walk at all and often very confused and living at an assisted living facility. My mom is just starting to recover from horrific complications of major surgery and is living with me. They strugle everyday for any chance to again be in control and to "care" for their grown children and grandchildren. To not accept would be a huge blow to them. Do everything you can to try and get the time off and save any money you can but then just bite the bullet and go anyway. The quality of time on vacation is so special and as others have said you never know if this will be the last vacation together.

Blessings on your trip.

Jordan's mom

 

[swilshire]

I was all set to say "sure, let him pay if that's what he wants" until I read the part about him borrowing from his life insurance. In spite of your Mom's poor health, she could easily outlive him and might really need that insurance money someday.

I think the trip would be a wonderful thing, but maybe you can find a way to minimize the expense for him. I think I would be sneaky about it. Tell him that you're the super Disney planner and you'll take care of everything and just let him pay the bills. Then, depending on your financial situation, I'd either plan an all out Disney Dining, Park Hopping, great resort trip or a more economical off-site in a condo where you can cook meals type of experience. Present him with a bill for some portion of it that you think he can afford and let him feel great about treating you. Brag at great length about how your trip planning skills have saved him a ton of money. You get my drift.

Hope it's a great trip for all of you. I wish my parents had lived long enough and been able to join my family on some vacations.

Sheila

Oops .... just read the rest of the replies and see that you already mentioned you can't afford the trip right now. I'd still borrow the money myself to do it before I'd let Dad borrow from him life insurance. Why not get a Disney VISA and charge it with the free no interest extended payment deal for trips?

 

[penguin087]

Its an incredible gift. Dad wants your family to have these memories after your parents are both gone. I don't think the money is important to him.
Both of my parents were gone before I had children so there will never be memories of extended family vacations. I'm sure your Dad is swelled with pride over being able to do this.

 

[Disneynutbsv]

I would say if Dad wants to do this, then let him, but.....do something special for them while there... I know you can't afford to pay for a lot, but plan 1 special dinner for them, take them to Le Cellier....

 

[EnviroChick]

I thought this was a wonderful gesture by your father and it really gives some insight as to what is important to him at this point in his and your mother's life. I urge you to spend Thanksgiving with them in this magical place that takes us away from the pressures of everyday life and gives us the feeling that we are all kids again.

In addition, if I were you I would go on the trip with the thought in mind of doing a wonderful scrapbook of the vacation when you get back and give it to your mom and dad for the holidays.

 

[kcouture]

I think you should do this. Let me say my dad and mom did this for me, DH, dd, brother and his family and sister and her family, last summer to Alaska. They are not rich by any standards and we were all somewhat concerned about letting them do this. However, it was a wonderful trip, we were all very thankful. It was the first time in a while that we were all together. Both my parents are over 70 and the health is sometimes good sometimes bad. I know that it is probably the last time we will all vacation together and it was very special.

My dad is very happy that he could do this for us. My mother had a good trip - no emergencies or mishaps.
I say appreciate the genorosity and if in the near future you can help them out do it.

 

[2giddy4wdw]

I say that you should take him up on his offer. It's not like you asked him to take you all there, it was his idea. I come from a family of 6 kids, I would love to have my "whole" family on at Disney for 1 vacation. Not that I want my parents to pay for it. But I know that we would all have a great time. I mean there are 6 kids, 9 grandkids, 1 great grandchild and 1 on the way. Even when my parents 50th Anniversary came around, we all weren't able to get together. But to have us all together for one vacation would be amazing. I know that there aren't a bunch of you, so it would be very easy to plan an inexpensive trip. I say go for it, help him plan it so that it doesn't cost him a fortune. They are always having specials. And going the week after Thanksgiving is such a special time to go with all the Christmas stuff going on. And although you feel guilty, remember this is something he wants, and everyone could just relax. JMO