Should I host my own 50th anniversary?

[Lilacs4Me]

DH and I have no children. I am debating hosting our own 50th anniversary party which would just include my siblings and spouses and our nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. And just a few really close friends. A total of about 30 if they can all come from out of town.

Not sure if this is the right thing to do. My sister tells me not to bother, just go away.

I think I'm the only one who, at first, read "My sister tells me not to bother, just go away" as your sister telling you to go away as in, leave me alone and stop bothering me

I get it now...go away on a trip

I say do whatever you want! We just celebrated our 20 year anniversary a few weeks ago, and barring an early death on either of our parts , we will be 72 and 73 when we celebrate our 50th. Not very many people get to do this, so go ahead and celebrate like it's 1999!!! haha

 

[disneyhand]

Yes, absolutely! A 50th anniversary is something to be celebrated, in whatever way you and your husband prefer. My husband and I would probably prefer a special trip, but you sound like you'd enjoy celebrating with your extended family. Go for it, enjoy and Happy Anniversary!

 

[Jnjtrio]

I remember my grandparent's 50th anniversary party, lots of family was able to attend. My parent's 50th was just a couple of years ago, due to the time of year and talking with extended family we discovered most would not be able to attend. We ended up sending them on a viking cruise in Europe, they thought it was just them going. We payed for the couple who have been life long friends with them to be there as well. They suprised them at dinner first night.

My parents called both in tears over the suprise.

Do what makes you feel happy. If you have the ability to surround yourself with the people you care about and want them to be there, definately have a party.

Congratulations, I hope whatever you decide brings you joy.

 

[bethy]

I remember my grandparent's 50th anniversary party, lots of family was able to attend. My parent's 50th was just a couple of years ago, due to the time of year and talking with extended family we discovered most would not be able to attend. We ended up sending them on a viking cruise in Europe, they thought it was just them going. We payed for the couple who have been life long friends with them to be there as well. They suprised them at dinner first night.

My parents called both in tears over the suprise.

Do what makes you feel happy. If you have the ability to surround yourself with the people you care about and want them to be there, definately have a party.

Congratulations, I hope whatever you decide brings you joy.

 

[BLAZEY]

I say it’s fine..but COOOOME ON


How many people get ripped to shreds for asking if they can host their own baby shower? The ‘rules’ by these boards are ridiculous.

At a SHOWER gifts are expected as that is the point of those types of parties. And anniversary milestone one can invite family and friends without expecting gifts. On the invites you could write something like " Your presence is gift enough to help up celebrate 50 years of marriage".

 

[Imzadi]

I totally believe in the lyrics of this song, "When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance!"

Go celebrate 50 years of being together. Dance a lot. (Or just celebrate if you don't dance. It is a great feat and something to celebrate!

And if you are worried about it seeming like a gift grab, put on the invite: "No gifts. IF you must, donate to ___ instead."

 

[mrsstats]

Thank you everyone for your opinions. We are at 49 this year and are just in the planning stages for our 50th. If we decide on the party I just want to be able to give everyone enough time to save the date as the most important part of having this is to have my loved ones with me.

 

[Summer2018]

Thank you everyone for your opinions. We are at 49 this year and are just in the planning stages for our 50th. If we decide on the party I just want to be able to give everyone enough time to save the date as the most important part of having this is to have my loved ones with me.

I'm sure it will be wonderful, a truly special day.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

DH and I have no children. I am debating hosting our own 50th anniversary party which would just include my siblings and spouses and our nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. And just a few really close friends. A total of about 30 if they can all come from out of town.

Not sure if this is the right thing to do. My sister tells me not to bother, just go away.

Congratulations on 50 years! AND take lots of pictures.

 

[Keli]

I am apparently the only one without amnesia (not singling you out, just quoted you).

I guarantee that if anyone posted a thread saying..

I’m going to a 50th wedding anniversary party, should I bring a gift

every.single.person. would say it is rude to show up empty handed. I don’t subscribe to that, but many on these boards do.

Now I’m done distracting from the thread

OP, congratulations on 50 years..that’s quite a feat

I've only been to two 50th anniversary parties (because not too many folks make it to 50 years!) but both of them expressly said "no gifts" and I didn't bring a gift to either one and neither did anyone else as far as I saw. There were no presents around, no cards being handed to the couple. Just a lot of happy wishes and a lot of celebrating of the couples.

Definitely it's just not the same thing as throwing a baby shower for yourself which is designed to give you gifts. Other parties are not designed for that purpose, especially if they expressly tell you not to bring a gift. That changes everything IMHO.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Neither set of my grandparents lived to see their 50th anniversary. My parents hit that mark last year. My sister and I hosted a small gathering to celebrate. It was mostly family and a few close friends. Sadly both the best man and maid of honor had passed away years before.

I am certain that my parents would have hosted their own party had we not beaten them to it. Please feel free to celebrate your milestone any way you wish.

 

[ncc1701]

Yes! A 50th anniversary party is soooooo different from other parties (like someone hosting their own shower). My grandparents hosted their own 50th. I know others who have hosted their own anniversary parties too. Just put on the invite "no gifts please" if you don't want gifts (or leave it off if you want gifts, lol).

Congratulations!!

Go for it the only other opinion that matters is your spouse. Just like the above poster said my parents also did their own 50th with "no gift please" .

 

[Kellydelly]

I think you should throw yourselves a party if you want to! Totally appropriate! I don't agree with others that stated you could or should put on your invites any mention of gifts. I think it is tacky to say you don't want gifts. That is more awkward to me than deciding what to give you. I hope you end up with some great gift cards or cash or something like that. I am guessing you don't need any more knickknacks or photo frames at this stage of your life. Congratulations on such an awesome milestone!

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I think you should feel free to host your 50th celebration, if that's what you want. IMO, you should also graciously accept any gifts given. A 50th anniversary is an amazing accomplishment that should be celebrated by anyone who makes it.

 

[disykat]

I say it’s fine..but COOOOME ON


How many people get ripped to shreds for asking if they can host their own baby shower? The ‘rules’ by these boards are ridiculous.

Joining the crowd on this one. Not hosting your own shower is a well known rule of etiquette, not a random rule of this board. There is nothing wrong with hosting a party. The difference is that the definition of shower is "bring a gift to "shower" the honoree with stuff." It is rude to say "I'm having a gathering expressly so everyone can bring me a gift." That is why those parties are hosted by someone other than the honoree. Would you seriously call all your friends and tell them "come over so everyone can bring me a present and then we can all sit around in a circle and watch me open them?"

A party is just a celebration.

Throw a party and have fun!

 

[powellrj]

Go for it! I get to join the 50 years club in 9 years!

 

[yeheyprincex2]

I just went to my aunt and uncles 50th wedding anniversary last night. I was a great party and loved seeing all my family who I don't get to see much.
50 years is definitely worth celebrating and having a party for your selves is a great idea.

 

[MamaLema]

Yes! Why not? I don’t even get your sister’s problem

 

[bobbiwoz]

My grandparents did not have a party, just renewed their vows.
My parents wanted a party and hosted one. It was fun! We have a “cousins” picture that is priceless. Dad did not live for another year.
We did not want a party, and celebrated ourselves.

Do what you want, and congratulations!