Rajah
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 17, 1999
- Messages
- 9,633
If you've read my "nervous" thread about the house, you've seen some of the issues I'm having with my ILs right now. They aren't bad people, really, and I'm luckier than some in that I can at least get along with them (most of the time) and they don't hate me, but right now they're making it hard for me to want to have anything to do with them.
I swear DH's parents aren't human, they're Vulcan. At least, that's how much emotion they show over anything. Except for his mom when she screams over how long his hair is or what type of shampoo he uses
The thing that made me the most angry was when DH was in the ER this spring (or was it last fall?) and the most they could be bothered with was to say once they were done with their meetings and church, they'll be down to the ER in a few hours. Um, HELL-LLOO? Your son is in the ER? He could be *dying* (he wasn't, but they didn't know that) and the best you can do is GO TO YOUR CHURCH SERVICE? I would have said to **** with the meetings, I'm taking care of my son, but you can't do that? *My* parents, every time, have been the ones to drop everything and come help.
Well, I lost all respect for them ever since that incident. I tolerate them, but that's about it.
Recently when we've gone to their house (okay, this is stupid, but still it bothers me), it's really gotten on my nerves how they treat their cats. Y'all know how sensitive I am to people mistreating animals and how much I try to make sure I'm "speaking the cat's language" so to speak. So when DH's dad (I refuse to consider him FIL) approaches one of their cats in what to him is a playful manner but to the cat is a hostile gesture then gets mad at the cat when the cat hisses, yowls, and bites and swats at him, I have no sympathy for his dad. Then they're complaining that their cats are getting sick all the time so they shaved the cats so they wouldn't be too hot (ever heard of an Air Conditioner??), then kept changing the food once a week or more (um, a lot of cat's systems don't like that rapid of a change... you need to make changes in diet slower or they are more likely to get sick. Suddenly changing their diet because they're getting sick is *not* going to help things). Nothing they're doing is really abusive, they're doing the best they know how, but it really gets on my nerves to watch them doing everything wrong -- <i>and then have the gall to tell *us* how to raise our cats</i>. I always come out of dinner with them ready to strangle DH's dad because of how he's trying to handle the cats. And one time I came back with "no tongue" because I bit it so hard when we came back from getting Skye and DH's dad said so now you have one cat and a spare? EXCUSE ME??? Skye is not a "spare tire"!
Well, the cat thing isn't really *that* big of a deal. But combined with them keeping the temp in their house so hot that I literally get sick every time we're there because it's too hot (we've tried turning down the AC, they turn it back up because it's too cold -- 75/77 is too cold?), then the past couple of times cooking something with a lot of milk and/or cheese when they *know* (and *mention* it at dinner) that I can't eat that stuff... They're just being inconsiderate there.
Add onto that that we've asked them several times to come down and see the house we're trying to get and they couldn't -- er, wouldn't -- come down to see it until it was 4 days *after* the point when we really could have used DH's dad's opinion. And his mom's screaming "OH MICHAEL! That's too big! You'll hate two stories!" just because *she* likes a small one-story house -- criticizing the house before she's even seen it rather than offering support. She still hasn't seen it. Then refusing to help us in any way prepare for closing...
I'm just not in a generous mood toward these people.
Well, DH's sister's birthday is on Sunday. They want us to come up to dinner on Sunday. Where we'll spend a few hours with the sister that won't give us the time of day unless it's to ask us for money or we're at dinner at his parent's, where I'll have to watch DH's dad being rude to his cats, where I'll be roasting to the point that I'm sick, where I'll have to spend time with people who show little to no interest in their son's well-being or future... I'm just not in the mood to go.
So, my question is... should I "get sick" or "have to work" on Sunday (which I *could* make happen) so I can't go, or just bite the bullet and go?
I swear DH's parents aren't human, they're Vulcan. At least, that's how much emotion they show over anything. Except for his mom when she screams over how long his hair is or what type of shampoo he uses
The thing that made me the most angry was when DH was in the ER this spring (or was it last fall?) and the most they could be bothered with was to say once they were done with their meetings and church, they'll be down to the ER in a few hours. Um, HELL-LLOO? Your son is in the ER? He could be *dying* (he wasn't, but they didn't know that) and the best you can do is GO TO YOUR CHURCH SERVICE? I would have said to **** with the meetings, I'm taking care of my son, but you can't do that? *My* parents, every time, have been the ones to drop everything and come help.
Well, I lost all respect for them ever since that incident. I tolerate them, but that's about it.
Recently when we've gone to their house (okay, this is stupid, but still it bothers me), it's really gotten on my nerves how they treat their cats. Y'all know how sensitive I am to people mistreating animals and how much I try to make sure I'm "speaking the cat's language" so to speak. So when DH's dad (I refuse to consider him FIL) approaches one of their cats in what to him is a playful manner but to the cat is a hostile gesture then gets mad at the cat when the cat hisses, yowls, and bites and swats at him, I have no sympathy for his dad. Then they're complaining that their cats are getting sick all the time so they shaved the cats so they wouldn't be too hot (ever heard of an Air Conditioner??), then kept changing the food once a week or more (um, a lot of cat's systems don't like that rapid of a change... you need to make changes in diet slower or they are more likely to get sick. Suddenly changing their diet because they're getting sick is *not* going to help things). Nothing they're doing is really abusive, they're doing the best they know how, but it really gets on my nerves to watch them doing everything wrong -- <i>and then have the gall to tell *us* how to raise our cats</i>. I always come out of dinner with them ready to strangle DH's dad because of how he's trying to handle the cats. And one time I came back with "no tongue" because I bit it so hard when we came back from getting Skye and DH's dad said so now you have one cat and a spare? EXCUSE ME??? Skye is not a "spare tire"!
Well, the cat thing isn't really *that* big of a deal. But combined with them keeping the temp in their house so hot that I literally get sick every time we're there because it's too hot (we've tried turning down the AC, they turn it back up because it's too cold -- 75/77 is too cold?), then the past couple of times cooking something with a lot of milk and/or cheese when they *know* (and *mention* it at dinner) that I can't eat that stuff... They're just being inconsiderate there.
Add onto that that we've asked them several times to come down and see the house we're trying to get and they couldn't -- er, wouldn't -- come down to see it until it was 4 days *after* the point when we really could have used DH's dad's opinion. And his mom's screaming "OH MICHAEL! That's too big! You'll hate two stories!" just because *she* likes a small one-story house -- criticizing the house before she's even seen it rather than offering support. She still hasn't seen it. Then refusing to help us in any way prepare for closing...
I'm just not in a generous mood toward these people.
Well, DH's sister's birthday is on Sunday. They want us to come up to dinner on Sunday. Where we'll spend a few hours with the sister that won't give us the time of day unless it's to ask us for money or we're at dinner at his parent's, where I'll have to watch DH's dad being rude to his cats, where I'll be roasting to the point that I'm sick, where I'll have to spend time with people who show little to no interest in their son's well-being or future... I'm just not in the mood to go.
So, my question is... should I "get sick" or "have to work" on Sunday (which I *could* make happen) so I can't go, or just bite the bullet and go?
Backing out isn't really an option anymore since for the past few years she likes to invite the whole family down to our house instead of hers. 
That is worse than mine. 
