should I go without DH?

[Happyinwonerland]

DH ' S company was bought out, so he is losing all of his accrued vacation time ( 5 weeks!), which means he won't be able to go on our planned trip this August. I cancelled all our reservations and tried to make peace with not taking a vacation this year.

Now, he is urging me to go alone. He feels guilty that he can't go and doesn't want me and DD to miss out because of him.

I am not thrilled about that idea. It's a 12 hour drive to orlando with an almost 3 year old. I just don't know if the trip would be much fun, just her and I. No adult interaction, no help, for several days. But he is pretty insistent that we go.

wwyd?

 

[Lynne G]

Well, my DH was in the military, so my kids and I did several vacations without him. Unless you rather no go, I see nothing wrong with a one parent trip. Maybe think about flying with your toddler, or take several days to get there and several days back.

Or, just plan another time of year, when DH can ask for time off, maybe even advanced time off, so you can all go. With a young child, you can go any time of the year, since school would not be an issue.

 

[100AcreWood]

Is this your dd's first trip? If so I definitely wouldn't leave him behind. Otherwise, I agree with pp. It would be better if you could fly.

 

[adams3880]

If you want to, I say go for it. I think I'd probably sit it out until we could go together though, if it were me. We did WDW last year with our then almost 3 and 5 year olds and I don't think I would have enjoyed it without DH... First, him missing the magic of those ages experiencing it, and second, for the flipside when littles at DW can be a handful! But that's just me! We're in the process right now of coming to terms with cancelling our May trip and it's breaking my heart so if I had the option, who knows?

 

[mm1971]

I would say go for it if DH is encouraging and you think the drive wouldn't be too much for you. I have gone a couple of times with just one of my children and myself. It's definitely nice to have the one on one interactions.

 

[sueliz]

I think if it sounds fun to you or if it will be years before y'all can plan a trip as a family - go for it! Many single parents do it all the time. I am taking my 5 and 6 year olds this summer without my husband, but there will be extended family there to meet up with so it is not the same. As I have thought through the trip and the times I will be alone, I will say that for me personally it would be hard to take my kids as 3 year olds without my husband. For the money spent I would be much more likely to save a one on one trip for when they are at least 5 or 6. That's just me though- I'm sure people have taken their 3 year olds and had a blast and you can too

 

[msmama]

I'm a single mom so all of my trips are just my son and I. It's it possible for you to enjoy it? Absolutely!! But, if you're on the fence or really not excited about it, then that is going to make a difference in how you feel about your trip.

Like someone else said, I'd fly, and know that your plans may be different as a family of 2 than as a family of 3.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

It would be DD'S 3rd trip.

Flying is not an option, I don't like to fly.

I think she'd be fine on the drive, but I just worry about doing the park with just one adult. And I think the whole time I'd be wishing DH were there.i think we'll skip it and just plan on going as soon as his new vacation time builds up, maybe spring 2016. That seems so far away

 

[Lynne G]

Then plan something closer to home, maybe not as long, like a long week-end and have a mommy and me trip to tide you over. I think the kids enjoy a mom time and dad time as much as a mom and dad time.

 

[NorthernGrl]

I'd do it in a heartbeat, and I have 4 kiddos.
I also grew up as one of 4. My dad worked really long hours when I was a kid. We'd go days without seeing him. My mom made sure we'd never sit around waiting for him, so she just packed us up and off we'd go to do whatever. I'm mostly the same. If he can't make it, we just do it on our own. The kiddos love when daddy can join in the fun, but it isn't always possible with his work hours.

The last time I planned a "solo mom" trip, my sister caught wind of it and it ended up with her and her daughter tagging along. It was nice because her daughter had all these cousins to hang with and my sister would take the big ones to the arcade while the littles had a nap. We all had a blast! Is there anyone who would go with you to share the room and the childcare?

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Nobody that I really trust can go. My own mother is an abusive alcoholic. DH mom has too much else this summer.

I might see if a friend wants to go but I'm doubting any of of my friends can afford the trip. Most of them are very pay check to paycheck.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I wouldn't mind a mommy and me trip if she were older. She's a lot to handle though. She's very tall (38 inches) and I'm very short (61 inches), which makes things like getting on and off rides a bit difficult. I usually have DH around for the heavy lifting. And who would watch her while I load/unload luggage? And of course the idea of being a woman travelling alone with a small child kind of scares me.

Our trip was originally scheduled for her 3rd birthday, e even if I do go, it will have to be at a different date than originally planned. . I couldn't let DH miss her birthday!

 

[themouseandme]

Nope. I wouldn't go without DH with my 3 year old! I would take my 12 year old in an instant. But I don't think I could do it with the younger one. I agree with the above...maybe a mommy and me trip closer to home for just a couple of days would be nice. Save Disney for when DH can come along.

 

[Lynne G]

Then enjoy the 3rd birthday at home with DH and enjoy. Don't be afraid of what you can do though. I've traveled with luggage, car seat and stroller with 2 small kids in tow since they were little, in airports and in rental and my cars, and I am not much taller than you. When my kids were young, I always had them behave when I was with the luggage. I always got help from strangers if I needed it. You will never be the only mom that travels alone with a young kid.

 

[BellsFam]

I would wait...

We had a similar situation when DD was almost 4. DH couldn't take time off of work and so we went with the grandparents but honestly they left us in the parks alone ALOT!

It was tough emotionally because id call DH to tell him what we did and he was upset that he wasn't there even though he encouraged us to go, and DD and I missed him being there too. He went for her first trip but this trip she could do more so he missed a bunch.

Aside from that part DD and the stroller and the bag! She'd fall asleep and at bus stops after fireworks it was just me, so I'd be waking her up to have her board the bus while I folded and carted the BIG stroller and then she'd fall back asleep on the ride, etc.

Also, in our house, DH is more the disciplinarian, and DD (knowing he's not there) was not her angel self!

Now 2yrs later we have the BEST trip ever planned and we all can't be more excited! DD will be able to ride almost ALL of the rides and it's just the three of us! I can't wait!!!

 

[Thing 1]

I sounds like you really dont want to go and that is ok. Your DD is little and a trip that far away really does not even seem real to her. She will be ok. Save the money and make the trip extra special when you all go. Maybe a weekend trip somewhere for her birthday. Now if you really wanted to go, you would be fine. I would fly for sure , but drivable is doable and I love one on one time with my kids in the park. A week alone with either one at three would have been really fun for us.

 

[Sadie22]

I am a realistic sort and I can think of all the things that could go wrong that would have made me regret driving a long distance alone, let alone with a preschooler. When our kids were young, we would never have spent a large sum to go on vacation with part of the family. Your DH is trying to be brave and not spoil your fun, but Disney will be there later when he can go again. Convince him you want to wait to go to wDW when he is able to go, and plan lots of fun things nearby on the weekend.

 

[fluffykalie]

If you live in a area where theres a lot to do you could always find things to do during the week and then go on a mini vacation Friday night through Sunday as a whole family somewhere close by.

 

[NobleAlyssum]

As Thing 1 said, it sounds like you don't want to go. And that's fine. To me, three year olds are quick to bounce back, so I think your daughter will be fine with not going in August.

When big plans are canceled/don't work out for me, I plan something else last minute. I worked myself up over a nice vacation/break and by not doing something, I'm setting myself up for a sour mood and feeling terrible. Even if you guys only plan to do something local over the weekend, make it special by splurging a little on an activity (or several if you can!). The vacation feeling will be gratifying, you can bond as a family, and I'm certain that whatever you decide to do as an alternative, it will be cheaper than the Disney World trip, so you are even saving a little money for when you can go next time.
I hope that helped.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

We live in an area with some smaller theme parks an hour away ( king's island and Kentucky kingdom), a couple nice zoos, an aquarium, and lots and lots of summer festivals. We'll utilize those more.

We had planned to do just a simple b'day party before out trip, but since we'll be here, we can do a nicer party. And there is a concert that weekend that we were disappointed to miss, now we can go!

DH said he should have his time up enough to make a trip in the fall for MNSSHP and the food and wine festival. We are looking forward to trying these events! So it isn't so bad.

Thanks for the advice! I'm not ruling out a mom/daughter trip in the future but I just feel she's too young right now.