Should I feel bad? Or be mad!

[tinkamom]

I'm also wondering about "hiding" it from a young woman who is about to go off to college. I have a 16yo who might also lose priviledges but I won't be hiding stuff from her. Maybe a younger child, but not a 17/18yo.

Given how reckless you were with such an expensive item I have to give your DD a pass for the snooping. In all honesty,I wouldn't be surprised if she was making sure you were storing it safely. It was your recklessness not hers that caused the damage. So you should be on the hook for the repairs.

I also agree with the previous poster who questioned why you are hiding it in the first place. Its a punishment, not a game. Heck, given the nature of the item you could always check if it was powered up anyway

No one was playing games. It was hidden because she wasn't taking me seriously. She simply took it back after I took it away. I wasn't joking so I hid it to prevent her from taking it back again.

DD wasn't snooping, she was searching for the laptop.

 

[C.Ann]

Let me get this straight, the OP put a closed lap top under her matress on a part of the bed that people don't normally sit on. Then the lap top is broken from the DD sitting??? Something doesn't sound right. Maybe she stood on that corner of the bed to look up above, and that is how it broke.

WAIT, how did the OP even find out it was broken? Did she come home and DD tell her "mom I sat on your bed, in a corner close to the wall that I know we never sit, and I heard this crack. Or did the OP go and get it and find it broken. Me thinks maybe DD found it and when she tried to put it back quickly, broke it herself. Or maybe it was broken when Mom took it away....

Oh inquiring minds want to know

I have to admit a similar thought crossed my mind.. I've seen first hand how fragile and non-fragile they can be - after my adult DD dropped hers 3 times on a concrete floor and it still didn't break the screen.. Twice it was opened - once it was closed..

 

[tinkamom]

OP you were very smart NOT to put in your post what she did to begin with I can just imagine where that would go

 

[Wall-E1]

As to why the op would need to hide the computer from her teen in the first place, I don't know. I do know that I am in a similar situation with my teen. If I confiscate something, it must be hidden. If he is banned from the tv or computer, I need to put a passcode in. He's very sneaky that way. In my case, I think it just boils down to bad parenting on my part. When not in a drunken haze, I sometimes sadly think back to what might have been. Unfortunately, I did not stumble upon the treasure trove of knowledgable and perfect parents of the Disboards until it was too late. If so, things surely would have turned out much differently. But, alas, the kid was already set in his ways and I had already lost my desire to do right by him. Perhaps the op is in a similar situation. If so, don't feel bad. I truly believe with all my heart that there are more bad parents and kids out there than good. And that gives me hope for our future and the future of our kids.

 

[LilyWDW]

Who puts a lap top under a mattress??

Who puts any sort of expensive electronics equipment under a mattress?

Personally, I think that was a stupid place to put something like a laptop and is just asking for it to be damaged. To me, the OP was not treating this item the way it should be treated. Beds are made to sit on and sleep on... not for storing electronics.

In my opinion, your daughter should not have access to the laptop for an extended period of time due to her snooping. However, I believe you are responsible for paying for the damages. The screen would not have been broken if you had treated the laptop correctly. It could have easily been someone else who could have ended up breaking it. If you had put the laptop in a safe place instead of under a mattress, this would never have happened.

 

[tinkamom]

As to why the op would need to hide the computer from her teen in the first place, I don't know. I do know that I am in a similar situation with my teen. If I confiscate something, it must be hidden. If he is banned from the tv or computer, I need to put a passcode in. He's very sneaky that way. In my case, I think it just boils down to bad parenting on my part. When not in a drunken haze, I sometimes sadly think back to what might have been. Unfortunately, I did not stumble upon the treasure trove of knowledgable and perfect parents of the Disboards until it was too late. If so, things surely would have turned out much differently. But, alas, the kid was already set in his ways and I had already lost my desire to do right by him. Perhaps the op is in a similar situation. If so, don't feel bad. I truly believe with all my heart that there are more bad parents and kids out there than good. And that gives me hope for our future and the future of our kids.

OMG!
There's more reckless and unreasonable parents out there! I'm not alone?

 

[tinkamom]

Who puts any sort of expensive electronics equipment under a mattress?

Personally, I think that was a stupid place to put something like a laptop and is just asking for it to be damaged. To me, the OP was not treating this item the way it should be treated. Beds are made to sit on and sleep on... not for storing electronics.

In my opinion, your daughter should not have access to the laptop for an extended period of time due to her snooping. However, I believe you are responsible for paying for the damages. The screen would not have been broken if you had treated the laptop correctly. It could have easily been someone else who could have ended up breaking it. If you had put the laptop in a safe place instead of under a mattress, this would never have happened.

This is like the game "telephone"!

 

[Wall-E1]

OMG!
There's more reckless and unreasonable parents out there! I'm not alone?

I believe us to be a silent majority.

 

[Luvchefmic]

As to why the op would need to hide the computer from her teen in the first place, I don't know. I do know that I am in a similar situation with my teen. If I confiscate something, it must be hidden. If he is banned from the tv or computer, I need to put a passcode in. He's very sneaky that way. In my case, I think it just boils down to bad parenting on my part. When not in a drunken haze, I sometimes sadly think back to what might have been. Unfortunately, I did not stumble upon the treasure trove of knowledgable and perfect parents of the Disboards until it was too late. If so, things surely would have turned out much differently. But, alas, the kid was already set in his ways and I had already lost my desire to do right by him. Perhaps the op is in a similar situation. If so, don't feel bad. I truly believe with all my heart that there are more bad parents and kids out there than good. And that gives me hope for our future and the future of our kids.

go Dis Dad ! my Dad would have probably "hid" it under the wheel of the family car ! and my Mom took great pleasure in "tap dancing" on my Elvis records !

 

[pixiedustaholic]

Question: Will the laptop not function with a cracked screen? If it will, it will be a little reminder not to do anything to have it taken away. Just a thought.

 

[Buckalew11]

As to why the op would need to hide the computer from her teen in the first place, I don't know. I do know that I am in a similar situation with my teen. If I confiscate something, it must be hidden. If he is banned from the tv or computer, I need to put a passcode in. He's very sneaky that way. In my case, I think it just boils down to bad parenting on my part. When not in a drunken haze, I sometimes sadly think back to what might have been. Unfortunately, I did not stumble upon the treasure trove of knowledgable and perfect parents of the Disboards until it was too late. If so, things surely would have turned out much differently. But, alas, the kid was already set in his ways and I had already lost my desire to do right by him. Perhaps the op is in a similar situation. If so, don't feel bad. I truly believe with all my heart that there are more bad parents and kids out there than good. And that gives me hope for our future and the future of our kids.

gosh, you should have called me sooner, I may have been able to help.

your post cracked me up!!

 

[sunnyday123]

You want an honest opinion ? If not just skip over my post okay ? While it wasn't the smartest place to put it a 16 y/o is a young adult. I don't know what she did to lose the laptop privilege to begin with (doesn't matter not my business don't want to know) but she further complicated things by going into your room to look for it. Total violation of your rights & privacy. If she had found it and then was using it or just took it back she was basically waving her hand at you (minus 4 fingers) I wouldn't give it back at all. I wouldn't even care what it cost to fix......maybe in a few months I would think of another option. I mean really what next ? Take the car in the middle of the night ? Sorry that's my final answer.

This. It's her fault. If she hadn't been looking for it, it wouldn't have gotten broken. It's called a consequence, and good for you for giving her one!!

( I have to admit, I would feel a little bad too at first, but mad would win!)

 

[sunnyday123]

Uh Oh! I guess I have bigger problems than I thought! I'm not a reasonable person!!

Of course hindsight is 20/20 vision but my hiding spot did not seem to be a risky location. It was carefully placed far from where anyone would normally sit or lay.

Well no wonder you had to take your DD's laptop!! I'm guessing the apple doesn't fall far from the tree????!?

Just kidding, OP.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

Who puts any sort of expensive electronics equipment under a mattress?

Personally, I think that was a stupid place to put something like a laptop and is just asking for it to be damaged. To me, the OP was not treating this item the way it should be treated. Beds are made to sit on and sleep on... not for storing electronics.

In my opinion, your daughter should not have access to the laptop for an extended period of time due to her snooping. However, I believe you are responsible for paying for the damages. The screen would not have been broken if you had treated the laptop correctly. It could have easily been someone else who could have ended up breaking it. If you had put the laptop in a safe place instead of under a mattress, this would never have happened.

Got to go with this. The weight of the mattress along with no give in the boxspring(they really don't have springs anymore,just wood framing) and the normal tossing/turning in your sleep could just have easily crack the laptop. Some laptops are more durable than others, so while one person may be able to drop theirs and it be ok another person could trip over theirs and it be cracked. When you look into fixing or replacing it you may want to look into the durability of different brands. My DBil works IT for a pharmaceutical company and says the Lenovos they have are tougher than the Dells.

 

[Wall-E1]

Have we established the type of mattress that the op has? Was it a pillow top? Was it a Temper-Pedic? Also, we will need to know the weight of the daughter. Only then can we definitively plug in the numbers to determine who was truly at fault here. Although, I have to be honest... I am leaning towards believing that the op may be entirely at fault here. As such, I have begun lighting the torches and hope to see all of you in the town square in one hour.

 

[C.Ann]

Have we established the type of mattress that the op has? Was it a pillow top? Was it a Temper-Pedic? Also, we will need to know the weight of the daughter. Only then can we definitively plug in the numbers to determine who was truly at fault here. Although, I have to be honest... I am leaning towards believing that the op may be entirely at fault here. As such, I have begun lighting the torches and hope to see all of you in the town square in one hour.

Wait! Have we already established - to everyone's satisfaction - that the screen was not cracked prior to being placed under said mattress?

If not, I think you need to back up the CSI truck and hold the torches..

 

[Luvchefmic]

Have we established the type of mattress that the op has? Was it a pillow top? Was it a Temper-Pedic? Also, we will need to know the weight of the daughter. Only then can we definitively plug in the numbers to determine who was truly at fault here. Although, I have to be honest... I am leaning towards believing that the op may be entirely at fault here. As such, I have begun lighting the torches and hope to see all of you in the town square in one hour.

are you always this funny or is this one of your drinking binges I am going to have to remeber your user ID I'll have to not have any liquid in my mouth at the time though or I will end up as OP DD..computerless

 

[Luvchefmic]

I changed my mind OP tell us what she did

 

[Wall-E1]

Wait! Have we already established - to everyone's satisfaction - that the screen was not cracked prior to being placed under said mattress?

If not, I think you need to back up the CSI truck and hold the torches..

I see what you're saying. This mother, in a fit of anger, cracked the screen herself and has now come up with this very public "cover" story to hide what she really did. Then, realizing her awful deed, she placed it under the very part of her mattress that she knows her daughter to frequent. She would have gotten away with it also if not for the due diligence of all of us on the Disboards. Bravo to all of us here for another mystery solved.

p.s. - I'm warming the tar right now. Does anyone have feathers?

 

[C.Ann]

Does anyone have feathers?

I have one.. DGD brought it in to me last weekend..

Anyone else?