Should formal and semi-formal nights end?

[wilkeliza]

My husband and I decided not to participate in formal night on our last cruise. I did not want the hassle of packing extra items (especially any more shoes--we were already bringing water shoes, flip flops, sandals, and tennis shoes for each of us). Instead, we ordered room service. But for some reason we had to go to one of the desks on the 4th floor that night (I forget why). My husband felt extremely out of place and was upset because we kept getting dirty looks from the cruisers who were dressed up. I mean really hard stares. We were in t-shirts and shorts. We were only down there 15-20 minutes tops. But I don't see why it bothered people so much that we weren't dressed in formal wear. We were not participating in MDR dinner or the Captain's Gala. We didn't jump in and photo bomb their formal pictures. I don't think we even went to the show that night. We were just trying to take care of some business and get out of there.

I'm shocked people gave you looks. Maybe it was something else. We don't judge others for not dressing up but we do hope that there are more people dressed up than not since we like to participate in the optional nights.

 

[texas disney mom]

There is a lot of "it's all about me" attitude on this thread. Reminds me of the spongebob episode with Mr. Crab's spoiled teenage daughter Pearl and the "It's all about you girl" birthday song. This is my point exactly. When DCL suggests a level of dress for certain nights in the MDR, people who wear shorts are performing an act of defiance akin to that of a teenager. It's the "no one will tell me what to do attitude," and call it your prerogative or whatever, but in the end it is disrespectful to those around you. Disney is not going to stop you, because they don't want to deal with you. I am not suggesting people rent formal wear or that they have to don a tuxedo. But a blazer on formal night? Yes. And it is stunning to me to read people posting things like, "I don't notice anyone else so who cares what people wear." This attitude is so self-centered. How can you not be aware of other people or your surroundings? This is how society falls apart.

 

[tinkerone]

My husband and I decided not to participate in formal night on our last cruise. I did not want the hassle of packing extra items (especially any more shoes--we were already bringing water shoes, flip flops, sandals, and tennis shoes for each of us). Instead, we ordered room service. But for some reason we had to go to one of the desks on the 4th floor that night (I forget why). My husband felt extremely out of place and was upset because we kept getting dirty looks from the cruisers who were dressed up. I mean really hard stares. We were in t-shirts and shorts. We were only down there 15-20 minutes tops. But I don't see why it bothered people so much that we weren't dressed in formal wear. We were not participating in MDR dinner or the Captain's Gala. We didn't jump in and photo bomb their formal pictures. I don't think we even went to the show that night. We were just trying to take care of some business and get out of there.

haha, i know exactly what your speaking of. last cruise, after our early dinner, we changed (as we always do) and went to the shops to look around. we passed through the captains gala drink gathering so i took a glass of wine that was offered to me. i felt a few eyes on us as well. i chose to think it was about how gorgeous i looked in my shorts and tank top as opposed to what i did not have on.
either way, it didn't bother me at all.

 

[tinkerone]

There is a lot of "it's all about me" attitude on this thread. Reminds me of the spongebob episode with Mr. Crab's spoiled teenage daughter Pearl and the "It's all about you girl" birthday song. This is my point exactly. When DCL suggests a level of dress for certain nights in the MDR, people who wear shorts are performing an act of defiance akin to that of a teenager. It's the "no one will tell me what to do attitude," and call it your prerogative or whatever, but in the end it is disrespectful to those around you. Disney is not going to stop you, because they don't want to deal with you. I am not suggesting people rent formal wear or that they have to don a tuxedo. But a blazer on formal night? Yes. And it is stunning to me to read people posting things like, "I don't notice anyone else so who cares what people wear." This attitude is so self-centered. How can you not be aware of other people or your surroundings? This is how society falls apart.

i doubt very much society will fall apart if people don't wear a blazer.
and as you said 'dcl suggests a level of dress'.

 

[wilkeliza]

i doubt very much society will fall apart if people don't wear a blazer.
and as you said 'dcl suggests a level of dress'.

She said it will fall apart because people stop seeing other people and their surroundings not necessarily because people don't wear a blazer.

 

[southerngirl528]

. My husband felt extremely out of place and was upset because we kept getting dirty looks from the cruisers who were dressed up.

I'm with Wilkeliza, perhaps it was something else?? There are 2 different seatings, and some folks get dressed for both the show and dinner, and others only for dinner so there could be folks in various dress at any given time around the ship. I certainly wouldn't feel badly if I was just needing to run to the atrium to one of the desks and had on my casual wear. If it was during the Captain's Gala there are a LOT of people all dressed up milling around the atrium for free drinks and in lines to get their photos done. That MIGHT explain why you looked a little out of place but regardless, you were doing your own thing and there is no dress code to go to a services desk.

 

[texas disney mom]

When I'm at work, it's not all about me. When I'm on vacation, it's 100% all about me. If I'm not comfortable or having fun on vacation, I did a bad job planning or someone else messed up. And no, I didn't cruise DCL until they relaxed the dress code. Never been to Palo or Remy

As seen in the thread, your sense of entitlement is not unique.

 

[southerngirl528]

When I'm on vacation, it's 100% all about me.

Not sure whether to laugh or sigh over that…. I'm sure you didn't mean that quote to make you sound like one of "those" people who seem to expect everyone to put them first. You know, like one of "those" people that are at the guest services desk yelling at the poor CM's because something wasn't exactly as expected? Again, I'm giving benefit of the doubt that you really aren't one of "those" people…..

 

[wombat_5606]

The sad thing, to me, is that cruising used to be a special and an elegant experience. I'm talking back 30 years ago. You dressed for dinner every night and they still had a formal night. For those of you that don't know, Disney had a non-optional formal night, up until a few years ago. It's in response to people that they have made it optional and now, I guess, people want to lose that and make it casual all of the time. But, what if a majority of the people start wanting DCL to let people wear their bathing suits to meals? Where is it going to stop?

People are changing the cruise experience to just another all-inclusive trip, not something special. And for those people that suggest those that like the formal nights should sail on a luxury line, I say why don't you find a nice resort in the Caribbean, Alaska, Europe, etc. and leave the cruise experience alone? There are those that say that "it's my vacation and I'm paying for it". I say why don't you find a vacation that supports your vacation mode and quit trying to change the cruise experience to fit your needs? For those people that complain that they don't want to dress up on their vacation, then why choose one that required that very thing?

Cruising used to be like nothing else in the world. It's just another resort, now, albeit a floating one.

 

[southerngirl528]

Wanna wear a tux and be extra special fancy pants? Go nuts. Just don't tell me I should do something when I'm clearly following the rules by choosing to not do it.

Dear Chipwich, no one is "telling" you what you "should" do. If you read all MY posts in this thread you would readily see I have stated that I do not wear gowns or cocktail dresses and have made numerous suggestions for very comfortable options for folks like myself that do not do the tux or gown option. And "Fancy Pants"???? Hahahahahaha!! That's a name I don't think I've ever been called. But I take issue that you are "clearly following the rules" when certain nights on most DCL cruises are labeled Semi-Formal and/or Formal. Just because they don't have fashion police doesn't mean the rules are so lax that one should appear for dinner in shorts and tee shirts.

So what ARE you planning on wearing on the Semi-Formal or Formal night(s) on your cruise? You've made your feelings known, but I must have missed where you said what you think is right for YOU.

 

[wombat_5606]

30 years ago, you could smoke in the MDR too. Shall we bring back that lovely tradition as well? The golden age of choking on other peoples smoke? Why don't you find a cruise line that meets your needs? DCL, like most successful business models, changes with the times, and the times dictating that more people want casual over formal.

Personally, I don't think a health issue like smoking is comparable to the way people dress. The dress code problem isn't just Disney's, almost all of the mainstream lines have changed the dress code.

 

[southerngirl528]

Why don't you find a cruise line that meets your needs?

Seems like there are plenty of vacation options where one can dress as casual as they want, heck there are even resorts where you don't even wear clothes!! There's one near where I live if you want the name….

You are entirely missing my point and the point of others here, Chipwich. Try reading through the entire thread. I think you will see what I am talking about. And then there will be no need for name calling or other silliness. You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to my own as well. No rant or rave or examples of "bringing back smoking in the dining rooms" will change my mind that if a cruise has any night(s) entitled formal or semi-formal, that super casual is okay just because they do not enforce the dress code. As mentioned several times in my previous posts, there are a truckload of ways to dress and still look nice without being "formal". Go back and read them and see for yourself.

Now I'm done with our playtime. I wish you a happy cruise. Shalom.

 

[jenmiller114]

30 years ago, you could smoke in the MDR too. Shall we bring back that lovely tradition as well? The golden age of choking on other peoples smoke? Why don't you find a cruise line that meets your needs? DCL, like most successful business models, changes with the times, and the times dictating that more people want casual over formal.

I am sorry but I do not appreciate that comparison at all. I try not to get involved in posts that are too controversial or that would hurt someone's feelings but suggesting that wanting people to dress nicely for formal night and smoking in the dining room are even remotely on the same plane is ridiculous. A lot of us appreciate the nostalgia of cruising and look at it as a chance to get away from the real world.

I don't think it's fair to make people feel bad for wanting to get dressed up and wanting to see other people dress nicely as well. Obviously, not everyone wants the dress code changed. I would guess it's 50/50 from what I have seen on the ships and heard on the boards. So why ruin it for those who do want to dress up because of those who don't want to be bothered? I don't care if you don't dress up but I do care that Mickey and Minnie aren't going to dress up anymore because of you. ("you" encompassing all of the people who are pushing to have this tradition removed)

Jennifer

 

[texas disney mom]

I gain nothing from yelling at or complaining at anyone. If you read my post, if something goes wrong and I'm not having a fun time or comfortable, it's my fault for lack of planning or something went wrong. Hence, I CHECK the dress code before I go places instead of complain about it once I get there and realize it's not what I wanted because someone is dressed differently than me and whine about it because my magical dress up day is ruined. I play by the rules. I guess I'm smart enough to check what the rules are before I go spend a bunch of cash on something I wouldn't like. You know, like Disney's rule about not having to get dressed up. Wanna wear a tux and be extra special fancy pants? Go nuts. Just don't tell me I should do something when I'm clearly following the rules by choosing to not do it.

Wow. Somebody has a lot of anger. Hence the entitlement.
"Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol"
-Elf

 

[southerngirl528]

Buddy the Elf!!!!! Hysterical, Texas Disney Mom!!!! And so needed here now…. I'm gonna go download a Christmas carol….fa la la la la la la la la!!

 

[tinkerone]

For those of you that don't know, Disney had a non-optional formal night, up until a few years ago. It's in response to people that they have made it optional and now, I guess, people want to lose that and make it casual all of the time. But, what if a majority of the people start wanting DCL to let people wear their bathing suits to meals? Where is it going to stop?

People are changing the cruise experience to just another all-inclusive trip, not something special. And for those people that suggest those that like the formal nights should sail on a luxury line, I say why don't you find a nice resort in the Caribbean, Alaska, Europe, etc. and leave the cruise experience alone? There are those that say that "it's my vacation and I'm paying for it". I say why don't you find a vacation that supports your vacation mode and quit trying to change the cruise experience to fit your needs? For those people that complain that they don't want to dress up on their vacation, then why choose one that required that very thing?

Cruising used to be like nothing else in the world. It's just another resort, now, albeit a floating one.

I have been cruising with dcl since feb., 2007. i don't remember it ever being non-optional so I just pulled out the navigators from that cruise and there is a voyage personal navigator that lists dining. there is a section for 'Evening Attire' and it lists each day and what the dress is. right under the words 'Evening Attire' it says, and I quote, 'The following is suggested as guidelines for dress in the dining rooms each evening'. no where does it say it is mandatory. what do you consider is a few years ago, when was it non-optional.

I think we all need to agree to disagree on this one. there is no answer that is right for everyone. people are following the rules, it may not be the rules we like but they are the rules. formal is not mandatory so why get worked up about it? if you enjoy dressing up, and clearly some do, than dress up and celebrate it. if others don't then don't look around. everyone will have a better time if we all take care of ourselves and not worry about things beyond our control. stop saying people are being 'entitled' because by saying they are wrong not dressing up you are putting yourself in the same category. entitled.

flames commence!

 

[MPS516]

It is optional. By law Disney can't kick you out of the mdr unless they have a really good reason because you paid for it in your cruise. In palo and remy they can and will kick you out because you didn't pay for it in your cruise.

"by law" ? interesting perception. dress codes are established by all kinds of establishments and in Disney's case published prior to our cruise purchase.

The point though is that there is no hard dress code in the MDRs, only a suggestion of attire. That's why the servers tell you to come as you please anyway. The only actual dress codes, which are enforced, are at Palo and Remy.

the dress code appears as "cruise casual" and prohibits swimwear and tank tops. for me (and me only), I always wear long pants and a clean collared shirt, the golf courses will not let me play on a hot sweaty day without a collared shirt, I feel I need to appear at supper at least that well dressed. this thread started questioning formal and semi formal, which are optional formal, I feel no pain putting on a tie and jacked for the evening. if someone goes to the trouble putting on the ritz, I really don't want to spoil. I too wore a uniform for 33 years and had to present in a class A for special events, I was proud to show a family or honoree that respect. I am only 1 of 2400 or 4000 people on the ship but I sure don't appreciate it when someone shows up to the mdr looking like they just stepped out of a gym, only to believe they can do whatever they want because they are on their vacation, we are all on vacation.

 

[texas disney mom]

I have been cruising with dcl since feb., 2007. i don't remember it ever being non-optional so I just pulled out the navigators from that cruise and there is a voyage personal navigator that lists dining. there is a section for 'Evening Attire' and it lists each day and what the dress is. right under the words 'Evening Attire' it says, and I quote, 'The following is suggested as guidelines for dress in the dining rooms each evening'. no where does it say it is mandatory. what do you consider is a few years ago, when was it non-optional.

I think we all need to agree to disagree on this one. there is no answer that is right for everyone. people are following the rules, it may not be the rules we like but they are the rules. formal is not mandatory so why get worked up about it? if you enjoy dressing up, and clearly some do, than dress up and celebrate it. if others don't then don't look around. everyone will have a better time if we all take care of ourselves and not worry about things beyond our control. stop saying people are being 'entitled' because by saying they are wrong not dressing up you are putting yourself in the same category. entitled.

flames commence!

The fact remains that dcl is suggesting you dress a certain way for dinner. They dont require it because they dont want to deal with people like Chipwich. They have enough on their plate. If you wear shorts to formal night, you are not just disregarding their suggestion, you are acting in a defiant manner. This behavior is juvenile. Sorry but I dont subscribe to the "dont judge" theory that seems popular today. If we dont judge we become complete relativists and yes that ultimately leads to chaos. Do I think there are extenuating circumstances or people forget etc. Of course. But when people go on a board and say things like I can do whatever I want I paid for the cruise, it smacks of entitlement. So I disagree. I think you are wrong.

 

[wombat_5606]

The following is suggested as guidelines for dress in the dining rooms each evening

Ok, bad choice of words, but I didn't mean mandatory. I just meant it wasn't listed as optional.

When I began cruising in 1981(obviously not on DCL), formal attire and semi-formal attire was expected on designated evenings.

people are following the rules, it may not be the rules we like but they are the rules

The only point, I was trying to make, is that it hasn't always been the rule. The rule changed! I can rue the day that happened.

Change is not always for the better.

 

[Jennifer777]

A possible solution would be to add a yes/no box when making reservations next to the spot where you get to choose your dining times: Will you be participating in formal night? Then they could try to group together the majority of those who plan to participate and put them on the same dining rotation so they end up in the same dining room on formal/semi formal night. This would help maintain more of an elegant atmosphere for those who enjoy formal night without making anything required for those who don't.

It's impossible to make everyone happy but I do see both sides. For those that have to dress up for work everyday, going on vacation could be a much needed break from the jacket and tie but those who really enjoy that elegant atmosphere, it's a little sad to see that dwindling so rapidly. It's an elegant ship and for those that have cruised for 10+ years, a formal night is part of the experience. Even though we dressed up on our last cruise, it just doesn't feel like formal night when only a few participated.

Oh, and for those of you who mentioned you don't want to dress up because you've been in the military for decades, I just wanted to take a moment on Veteran's Day to thank you for your service!