Should a thnk you note be sent when a sympathy card is sent to the family

[suzannen]

Although I've never expected one, once I moved to the Northeast, I've always received thank you notes for flowers, food and even sympathy cards. I don't recall ever receiving one when I lived in the south, so maybe it's a regional thing?

 

[Philadisney]

One of my childhood best friends died several years ago (at the age of 22 ). I sent her mother & sister a card with some of my favorite memories of Veronica written inside. I was surprised to receive a card back - her mom had had cards printed with Veronica's picture on the front and a little poem, and then she had written me a very nice note as well. It meant a lot to me and I still have that card - that being said, it was certainly unexpected.
I also received a thank you note for a sympathy card I sent a friend when her mom died, with a long 2-page letter inside (this wasn't even a close friend). I think it made her feel good to write out her memories about her mom. I suppose some people like being able to remember their loved one by reminiscing about them in the cards they send. Again, everyone handles grief differently and I would never expect a card in return for a note that I sent.

 

[happybratpack]

I don't know what the proper etiquette is, but I've gotten a few cards in the mail for my husky Thrawn passing away last week. They've made me feel much better and certainly weren't required so I'm sending a note back saying thank you for thinking of us.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

The last thing I expect from a grieving family is a thank you note (and I am a stickler for thnk you notes otherwise).

If I send flowers for a funeral I cannot attend, I confirm with someone else that they were received in good condition. I usually do receive a thank you card for flowers, I have even received one or two for a sympathy card, but I would never think less of someone who didn't formally acknowledge a card.

this is how I have always felt - I feel of the card/flowers as a way of saying "I understand what you are going through - is there anything I can do to help at this time". I always feel the family is going through so much and I never expect anything. A thank you is nice, but I wouldn't blame anyone in that situation for not sending anything.

 

[arminnie]

Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of the famous Emily Post, writes in Emily Post's Etiquette 17th Edition that "handwritten notes of condolence should always be acknowledged (by the recipient, if possible)." However, "a pre-printed card with no personal message added does not require a thank-you note."

That's how I was taught to do it, but I don't judge what anyone else does in the time of grief.

I personally never send a card - I always write a note. When my mother died we got so many cards that we could barely open them. I know I did not really read them - but I did read all of the notes.

But I did appreciate any gesture. I'm not knocking anybody who sends a card.

 

[Pugsley]

A card does not require a thank you note. Then the recipient would have to send a thank you for the thank you note.

That's what I was going to say. That seems absurd to me that someone would be expected to send a thank you card in response to a card. Wow, it never would have occurred to me that anyone would expect that and I'd hate to think that by sending a sympathy card I'm making a greiving person feel obligated to respond to me. That should be the last thing on their mind.