Should a teenager pay for their own theme park tickets & spending money...

[MrsPete]

I think there are many "right ways" to handle chores, allowance, and kids' financial needs. The parents who get into trouble are the ones who allow themselves to be turned into an ATM machine and don't teach their kids anything about budgeting.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I think there are many "right ways" to handle chores, allowance, and kids' financial needs. The parents who get into trouble are the ones who allow themselves to be turned into an ATM machine and don't teach their kids anything about budgeting.

ITA

My son gets an allowance but it isn't tied to his chores. He has certain jobs to do around the house no matter what. He gets an allowance so that he'll learn how to handle money.

 

[BroganMc]

In general, I am not a big fan of teens working. "Back in the day", kids got jobs so they'd appreciate money -- it worked. Today's job market is vastly different. Take it from a teacher who hears and sees what part time jobs are really like in today's teenaged world:

Goodness Gracious! I didn't realize it had gotten so bad.

I grew up in the day when minimum wage was $3.50 - $4.25 (it went while I was working). Now the kids in my family are under 8, but act like 15.

What happened to parents putting grade stipulations on work? (Keep a B average or you can't work.) As a teen, a job should be a privilege not a necessity. A teen's most important job is getting grades good enough for a good college, more education and a one-day much better career job.

I took Home Economics in school. I had to learn how to keep a checkbook, plan a budget (by culling rental ads and grocery circulars), learn to sew, etc. My mom made me put my first paycheck (earned one summer when I was 12) straight into a bank with a small portion withdrawn for my mad money. If teens are working 20-30 hours, then parents should be making them save some in a bank account. After all, college awaits and with it more expenses than teens expect.

If you want to teach a teen fiscal responsibility for Disney make them pay for extras and give them the freedom to go off and explore on their own in the parks. (Be warned, if they use their money you have to respect their way of using it.) At home, be honest about the bills to run a household (mortgage, utilities, groceries, insurance, taxes, phone bill). Encourage them to open savings accounts and long term CDs. When a person sees their money growing in a bank it tends to make saving fun. Teach them with every budget you "pay yourself first" meaning set aside a certain amount for savings every month no matter what.

J

 

[powellrj]

I am sending you a couple of hugs because I feel your pain. While my son didn't quite go the same route of your son (mine quit college and joined the Army and has been in Iraq a year) I also agree its a bad idea to make teens pay for their own tickets and things. Its hard enough to get them to go on vacation with you once they reach the later teen years. I know if I would have made them pay for their own tickets I know they would never go with us.

Well, I would happily teach my kids about finances (and I do) but at age 16 my son decided that I am stupid and cannot possibly understand how creative and "special" he is. In fact, he is so "special" that he found it "beneath him" to bag groceries at $5.75/hr + tips. So last month he dropped out of high school and went to work for Disney On Ice--hawking cotton candy in the aisles, thre shows a day. Up and down and up and down those stairs. Talk about a life lesson. Last week he called home for spending money and DH had to say(gently) sorry, no, sell your X-box if you have too. You're on your own. (DS is not starving; he just wants to have his cake and eat it too.)

Do me a favor. If ToyStory 2 comes to your town, buy a bag of cotton candy from a skinny pale kid named John. Tell him his mother still loves him.

cathy

 

[4greatboys]

You should atleast pay for their park admission. Since we first started going to Disney in '97 my kids always took their own spending money. I told them I would buy 1 or 2 things each for them and anything else they wanted they had to buy, but we have always paid park admission, food, room, etc. This year my oldest will be 18 before we get to Disney and we will still be paying his park ticket and all.
My oldest doesnt currently have a job. He did but they worked him til usually 10 pm at night and all day on Saturdays. It was to much for him getting up at 7am to go to school, come home and have a snack, go straight to work til 10pm 3 or 4 school nights a week.

 

[Forevryoung]

I agree with everyone else that a family vacation is a family vacation and all major expenses should be paid by the parents who are doing the inviting.

On a second note, I was "invited" to go with a family I am very close with to Disney in June. There are two girls- 10 and 12 and I love them dearly. They have been talking about Disney since I met them 5 years ago and they are finally being given the opportunity to go.

The stipulation of them going is that the children pay for all of their park tickets (4 days at disney and 2 at universal) and whatever else they want that is extra. The girls have been saving up for five years for this chance to go. I keep my mouth shut but I think their parents should be making this the best experience in the world, not a money lesson for their not yet teen-age daughters. Anyone have something for me to say to the parents about Disney definitely not being a cheap vacation? I dont think they have ever been on a real vacation. This is their family's first trip to Disney and I haven't been in about eight years and I just want it special for all of us.

The kids are really excited about going, it will be a great trip anyway (because it's Disney!)
-K

 

[CherCrazy]

I agree with everyone else that a family vacation is a family vacation and all major expenses should be paid by the parents who are doing the inviting.

On a second note, I was "invited" to go with a family I am very close with to Disney in June. There are two girls- 10 and 12 and I love them dearly. They have been talking about Disney since I met them 5 years ago and they are finally being given the opportunity to go.

The stipulation of them going is that the children pay for all of their park tickets (4 days at disney and 2 at universal) and whatever else they want that is extra. The girls have been saving up for five years for this chance to go. I keep my mouth shut but I think their parents should be making this the best experience in the world, not a money lesson for their not yet teen-age daughters. Anyone have something for me to say to the parents about Disney definitely not being a cheap vacation? I dont think they have ever been on a real vacation. This is their family's first trip to Disney and I haven't been in about eight years and I just want it special for all of us.

The kids are really excited about going, it will be a great trip anyway (because it's Disney!)
-K

Wow! That's a tough one!! I would guess that they just don't have the money to really do a family vacation the "right" way....meaning as most of us agreed here, that if mom & dad are hosting the trip they should be footing the bill. Personally, I would keep my mouth shut and not say anything to them. They probably know it's not a cheap vacation and are coming up with ways to make it work for them. If you are an adult, I would suggest that maybe you could do something special for the kids, like pay for a character meal for everyone so that something really memorable could be added to the trip. In the long run, the memories that the kids will have made will last, the fact that they paid for their own tickets will be forgotten.

For the OP record...I will be footing the entire bill for my family vacations for as long as my kids will go with us!! I WANT my kids to be with us...if I have to bribe them by paying for everything, then so be it!!

 

[BroganMc]

I agree with everyone else that a family vacation is a family vacation and all major expenses should be paid by the parents who are doing the inviting.

On a second note, I was "invited" to go with a family I am very close with to Disney in June. There are two girls- 10 and 12 and I love them dearly. They have been talking about Disney since I met them 5 years ago and they are finally being given the opportunity to go.

The stipulation of them going is that the children pay for all of their park tickets (4 days at disney and 2 at universal) and whatever else they want that is extra. The girls have been saving up for five years for this chance to go.

-K

In that case (especially since the girls have been saving up for the last 5 years), I'd say what this family is doing is the right thing. I would assume a Disney vacation is beyond their normal means so making it a family savings goal is part of the shared experience for them. It also makes it much more special.

I have a friend who is adult, works but is of very limited means and is meeting me in Orlando in May. While I would usually say you go dutch as adults, I'm paying his park ticket and probably will take him to a character meal or two. He just wouldn't be able to go otherwise.

When it comes down to money, it's really a case of who can afford what and who wants to pay. If my teenager worked and wanted to pay his/her own ticket, I'd probably let them. (I'd ask what the catch was first though.)

 

[anb163]

I dont really agree. I am 16 and I help with going to disney world. It's not because my parents make me but because I want to and I know that is the only way we will get to go. My mom and I work together to save the money and the trip is always wonderful. She always pays for the food and the hotel but I save up money for my ticket plus my spending money. She does not ask me to do this but I offer because I know it makes it easier for us to stay longer. And anyway my grandfather gives me enough money that it does not take long to save up.

 

[bopper]

Okay, I guess I'm totally off base for even asking this question! I thought it was a decent way of teaching some responsibility, but you guys (and my DH) have straightened me out!

Be glad your teen still wants to go to WDW!
I would say you are giving each kid $X in spending money, any amount over that you would like to spend you need to bring.

 

[crazymomof4]

When I was adding up the cost of WDW tickets for the family for our upcoming trip, DS15.5 saw the total and offered to pay for his! He works 3 nights/week as a bus boy. I thanked him for offering but declined. He'll be using his money for souveniers, though. Last trip he bought one of those huge sombreros from EPCOT's Mexico!

 

[crazymomof4]

In general, I am not a big fan of teens working. "Back in the day", kids got jobs so they'd appreciate money -- it worked. Today's job market is vastly different. Take it from a teacher who hears and sees what part time jobs are really like in today's teenaged world:

First, kids are working too many hours. .....................

Most of the students who work excessive hours suffer a decrease in grades ......................................
Why should we as parents allow our children to sell their childhood for a few dollars?

.............. parents aren't overseeing any savings.

Having this much disposable income sets the kids up for future problems. They develop free-spending habits as teens ................

I see a major attitude shift in kids once they begin working at a steady part-time job. Suddenly they THINK they are self-sufficient. .............

Let your teens be kids -- that's what they really are. They have many, many years of adulthood ahead of them. Encourage them to be young while they can -- it won't be too long before they'll have to face the real world of college, jobs, and responsibilities.

WOW! I copied this for my DS15.5 to read. Much of it is almost verbatim what I've been saying to him. I want him to read it and see that it's not just his mom who sees things this way. He works as a bus boy at a restaurant owed by DH's side of the family. He only works 3 nights/ week and it averages about 12-13 hours total per week. I've told him that this is the maximum he's allowed to work for all of the reasons you cite. I have made him work out a savings plan to pay for a decent used vehicle when he is able to drive. He is homeschooled and so I am the one monitoring his grades. When he started working I told him that if it begins to effect his school work, the job will end.
Thanks for posting this. This teen ager thing is still new to me but reading your words has given me confidence that at least I'm keeping things properly balanced in this area.

 

[Donalds#1Fan]

I entirely disagree with requiring your teenager to pay for his/her own park tickets. I flat out disagree. This may be coming from a teenager, but that does not mean that I am biased in any way, shape, or form. All of the posts I have read have basically stated the same thing: "a teenager is still a part of the family, regardless of age" and that is entirely true. Saying to your son/daughter that going to Disney is something you have to pay for would be like the equivalent of putting a bullet through their heart. Maybe it is their vacation of a lifetime, something they have waited for for years, but now in order to go they have to pay the expensive park admission. Most teens may not be capable of obtaining that much money, others may have to purchase other things, and there are those who really need to save for college or to keep their car running, whatever. And then a Disney trip is presented with a huge stipulation and to worsen the situation their younger siblings get to go for sure without having to pay their own way. That right there would destroy any amount of respect for parents that I have, not to mention I would also become spiteful of my younger siblings being allowed to experience Disney World. By having me pay for my tickets, I would get the feeling that my parents were pretty much saying: "Disney World is only for little kids that is why we're paying the LITTLE KIDS way." Sorry if this is confusing, but I guess I am trying to say that teens are caught in the web of being an adult and being forced to grow up, but at the same time we are trying to hold onto every last inkling of our child hood. Growing up is tough enough, then add on the added pressure of having to pay to go on a family vacation. For a teen, that is like having your parents disown you. We tend to be emotionally unstable that way, and then there's like a Murphy's law when it comes to siblings...that green monster jeaulousy takes over and destroys all sense of reasoning in a lot of sibling cases. Yes, maybe that would be a great way of teaching managing money, but if you wish to have your child mad, angry at siblings, and all around having an unpleasant taste in his/her mouth for the rest of their lives...I'd say go for it. Teens tend to be a bit unstable emotionally and that all comes as a part of growing up. Teens are still kids, still a part of the family, and can still enjoy WDW as a child so why not encourage them to join in. As far as the spending money goes, as a teen I entirely expect to have to purchase any souvenir I want. Now, my parents will offer to buy things or whatever, but never do I expect them to pay for everything. That is one way of managing money that teens should be expected to do. Souvenirs should be their expense, but what they purchase should be respected and not ridiculed. It is their money, they wasted it, and in the long run...THEY WILL REALIZE IT! So there you have it, the opinion of a teen. Sorry if this seems critical.

I hope your trip to WDW is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dtsaos]

donalds#1fan,
I don't think you're being critical at all, you're expressing your opinion-which is greatly appreciated! And as I said earlier, I guess having a teen pay their own way is probably a bad way to teach responsibility, for all of the reasons you just mentioned.

I wanted to ask you though, as another post said, what do you think about the idea of showing the teenager the budget and then letting them be involved in the whole process of where the money should be spent. ie-traveling expenses, hotel, food, tickets, extras, etc. Do you think if done in a pleasant, fun way that would help a teenager understand and appreciate everything involved in planning and paying for a family vacation? Just curious about a teen's opinion.....

 

[TDC Nala]

if it's a trip the whole family is going on, buy 'em the tickets, but if they have a job or an allowance they can save up to buy their own junk.

 

[jtdl]

Both my children, ages 13 and 3 paid for their own souveniers, although I paid for some things, like t-shirts. My 13 year old has a babysitting job and she saved up $300 to take (and she spent every cent). My 3 year old was given money for Christmas from aunts and uncles especially for our trip. I paid for everything else including snacks and drinks.

 

[Donalds#1Fan]

I entirely agree with the budget idea. Parents may get some resistance and that sort of thing, but if my parents were to show me how to budget, how the whole bill paying thing goes, exactly what groceries you can live off of at a low price, that sort of thing. It would be excellent as I am heading to college in a couple years anything of that sort would be entirely appreciated. I think having a teen help out with that kind of thing is wonderful as it does teach responsibility, but most importantly it actually teaches your teen something the will use. Schools teach in hypothetical situations and mine surely doesn't teach how to pay your house bill, how to budget groceries, the essentials for living, and how to do your taxes...I think those are skills that would entirely benefit anyone to learn. I'm the type of person who would say yes in an instant if asked, but I know others would be a bit more resistant. So be prepared for that, but really do insist upon that type of thing or at least take opportunities to show your teen how to do stuff like that. Unfortunately, school doesn't prepare you for everything in life. That's just my opinion.

And as far as the budgeting process and such of a family vacation, well I am usually the one who plans the vacations. It is something I entirely enjoy and I guess I am a lucky person who has the ability to take in and come up with a plan the whole family can work with(I have two brothers, 10 and 2). The planning process is definitely something a teen should help with. It allows them to feel slightly in control of their vacation, allows them to become excited and feel a sense of accomplishment. I can tell you this much, I planned our very first Disney trip last year, I knew nothing about Walt Disney World except that it was in Orlando Florida, I needed to take a plane to get there, and it was rather expensive. The amount of stuff I learned was amazing and then the magical vacation that resulted was wonderful. To make it even more enjoyable, not one thing ever went wrong either. I definitely thing a teen should be allowed to take over a bit of the planning. Maybe you could give them a budget, the resort class you would like, and the dates. Allow them to come up with a hypothetical plan all in writing and then you could check over it and give them some important feedback about how it would work, how this wouldn't, and how there is maybe something you never thought of. I love the idea of vacation planning so much!

Also as a side note. As a gift for my mom for putting up with me for so long, spending money on me, and sacrificing a lot of things, I am going to give my mom and brother a magical trip to WDW. As a senior year gift for myself, and as a gift to my mom. I have a part time job working in an after school care facility. We have 2-3.25 hour shifts, 4 days a week, after school only, with weekends free. I am wanting to be a teacher so this job is wonderful for me. Also, my weekends are free to catch up on homework or time for myself. I work no later than 6:15 on school nights and have the freedom to request time off or join school activities. That is a one of a kind job and is really a great learning experience. Best of all it also has a summer program too so I have a summer job as well. So, with all the money I save, I am planning a 5 day/4 night trip. Now, I think that having your child pay their own way when they are giving you a gift is OK. This is entirely my own idea and my mom deserves it entirely!

 

[BroganMc]

Also as a side note. As a gift for my mom for putting up with me for so long, spending money on me, and sacrificing a lot of things, I am going to give my mom and brother a magical trip to WDW. As a senior year gift for myself, and as a gift to my mom. I have a part time job working in an after school care facility. We have 2-3.25 hour shifts, 4 days a week, after school only, with weekends free. I am wanting to be a teacher so this job is wonderful for me. Also, my weekends are free to catch up on homework or time for myself. I work no later than 6:15 on school nights and have the freedom to request time off or join school activities. That is a one of a kind job and is really a great learning experience. Best of all it also has a summer program too so I have a summer job as well. So, with all the money I save, I am planning a 5 day/4 night trip. Now, I think that having your child pay their own way when they are giving you a gift is OK. This is entirely my own idea and my mom deserves it entirely!

You've restored my faith in the next generation. What a wonderful idea and way to show your mom how great her job of raising you was. It'll be so hard for her to let you go after graduation. Mom's always worry about their babies leaving the nest. By planning this, providing for it, and sharing your trip with her... it shows you are growing up (we're never entirely "grown-up") and doing it well and more importantly she'll never really lose you.

As a side note, I hope you keep treasuring your mom. I just lost mine to breast cancer last year. We shared many things (trips to Disney, family holidays, trials & tribulations of disease, fears and hopes of the future, learning finances, house management, family engineering, even just sitting and watching girlie movies on rainy afternoons). Though she gave me the tools and commands to carry on without her, I miss her everyday. A mom is magical thing to have in your life. Though she may screw up now and then, never let yourself forget her.

Just ask some of those Disney princesses. Why is it they always get into trouble? Most don't have mom's warning them of peril.

J