Share your "worst wedding EVER" stories!

[Ember]

Yes, I'm bored. The other wedding thread got me thinking though. We've all been to terrible weddings (or weddings with terrible parts). So share your worst wedding ever story for a laugh.

Mine was definitely the wedding that started an hour and a half late as the guests roasted in the July sun. Other "fun" weddings include the Hindu ceremonies I've attended. They were all for some of the people I love most in this world, but good gracious they're long! The shortest one (I've been to three) was FOUR HOURS! One was 6 hours and we were seated on the floor. My knees and back hurt for a week after that one!

 

[castleview]

We went to a wedding where the bride and groom were 19. At the reception, all their friends started dedicating songs to their boyfriends and girlfriends. It was like a high school dance!

 

[sunnyday123]

I went to one in the back of a florist shop. I had on my ( this will date me ) suit from Paul Harris ( loved that store!) and I was dressed better than the Bride. Seriously. She had on a white sundress that she got from Jamesway ( like a Kmart) and I felt like a heel. When they were announced man and wife, they kissed like they hadn't seen each other in years. Finally the priest cleared his throat and told them to save it for later!

At the reception in someones muddy backyard they got into a knock down fight and the police car got stuck in the yard and the guys not fighting had to push it out. With the groom in it.

 

[justhat]

My husband was in one, well supposed to be, where he and the rest of the groomsmen were kicked out by the bride the day of the wedding. For literally no reason, she was just insane. They had to stand in the back of the church and not even allowed to sit for the ceremony! She replaced them with her family, one of whom was wearing a Rebel hat and another with overalls and a toolbelt. Seriously. They she demanded the kicked out groomsmed set up these heavy pots of sunflowers for her to walk through. At the reception they served Fritos and punch, and there was broken glass in the punch bowl. That was it, nothing else. Oh wait, a cowboy themed cake, like you'd get for a 5yo boy's birthday party. She also had some sort of money dance, where you were expected to dance with the bride and pay. NO ONE would get up so finally one of her sketchy relatives did. Then the DJ literally begged people to come up. Still, no one did. Afterwards, she rode off in a horse and buggy, with instructions that the kicked out groomsmen load the sunflowers into a relative's pick up truck. Needless to say, they all scrapped that idea and took off. Oh yeah, she also lied the time of the wedding so that everyone would be there early, and we all were, sitting there like idiots for 3 HOURS!!!

 

[sunnyday123]

oooh I forgot about these two, I worked with them but didn't attend.

1) Passed a hat around the reception for "donations" to help offset the cost of the reception. At which they served punch out of large plastic garbage cans-with a trash bag lining of course. I did hear the food was good however. They then went home to their $400k house.

2) Wore her "Jesus Sandals" ( I think Birkenstocks?) with her wedding gown, which was quite pretty, and served pizza and subs at the reception, again with the punch-in-a-trash-can. Immediately after eating-some people weren't finished-stood up and "thanked everyone for coming but you have to leave now" and then left.

 

[wdwiala]

edit

 

[AllyandJack]

It would have to be my cousin's wedding in CA when I was in high school.

First, they were flying back to her home in CA from CO, where her DH was a resident just out of medical school. She gets to CA and is waiting for him, just to have him call and say he's delayed because he "forgot" to pay the car payment and the car got repo'd. Nice guy, could be a good doctor (wouldn't know), but not the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to normal, every day stuff. He was delayed to clear that up.

Then, his family arrived. From Nebraska. His sister was a former Miss Nebraska. We had to hear this every. other. word.

She never wore her engagement ring because she had it set with her wedding band. She picked it up and never looked at it. The day before the wedding, she went to show us all - box was empty.

I don't know whose bright idea it was to have the bachelor/bachelorette parties the night before the wedding, but he got wasted and swallowed a quarter during a drinking game. Meanwhile, we're hanging with Miss Nebraska who also got drunk and was doing the limbo telling us all she'd be better at it if she wasn't so, um, well-endowed.

The groom also, somehow, flushed his contacts down the toilet and, during the entire wedding, couldn't see more than a foot in front of him and blinked and squinted the entire time - made for GREAT pictures.

An hour before the wedding, the groom was being x-rayed to see where the quarter was. It was passing through his system, so they let him leave the hospital.

By the time we got to the wedding, my mother and I thought all of this was funny. We were in that "everything is going to make me laugh" stage. We were sitting in the church and my mother had this new purse that snapped shut. She got something out of it and closed it....and it echoed through the church. We tried so hard not to laugh and then my father looks at his suit jacket and realizes a huge tag was still on it. This made my mother and I lose it.

The bride's SIL (my cousin's wife) is a freak show who wore a sack dress with flip flops and sat on the altar. Then, just as the wedding was starting, she left and sat outside.

They took so many pictures, the bride and groom never made it to the reception. We're all sitting there - starving - waiting. They showed up 20mns before we all got booted out of the room to make way for another wedding.

During this 20mns, Miss Nebraska - drunk again - stepped on my cousin's dress (which was her mother's dress....the one her mother hand made) and tore it to shreds. It was repaired with scotch tape to take more pictures.

The band was horrible. My cousins and I went down the hall to another wedding reception where the music was better and we danced there.

The next day, 2 major earthquakes hit (a 7.4 and a 6.5) within hours of each other.

They've been married 17yrs and have 2 kids.

 

[happily single]

My second (and last) wedding was trouble from the beginning.
Background: DH (now Ex) and I had broken up for several months, began talking and decided to jsut do it after being together almost 10 years. He proposed on Monday and we planned to get married the following Sunday. We decided to get married at our home, 1. to save money and 2. He was extremely nervous and wanted something small. I convinced him it was only going to be us and the witnesses. He about fainted when 20 rental chairs showed up

First as I was upstairs getting ready when my family came running up the stairs asking who the crying blonde was. I had no idea. It was DH's former neighbor, who had found out where we were living, crashed the wedding, locked herself in my bedroom w DH, begging him not to marry me based on our history. I requested she be sent upstairs, where people actually had bets on who was going to knock who out I actually was pretty pissed off, but ended up making friends with her.

Second, the JP, whom I did per diem work for, didn't show up. About 1 hour later I call him-he's sitting in his office waiting for me. H um, why did I give you directions to my house? So,,,,,wedding crasher offers to marry us, despite the fact she was not a JP, only a Notary. She insisted on marrying us, and them obtaining the apporpriate license later. No thanks

Finally, My ds has several special needs and takes meds in small doses during the day to control his issues. At night he takes a whole dose to sleep. I requested DH give DS his 1/2 dose, DH was nervous, gave DS a full dose. I literally have a photo of DS walking in his sleep holding the rings, he crashed on my couch for the entire wedding. One of my high school friends "stood in as him" in my family photo

 

[IDoDis]

At our own wedding reception we had a wedding guest (an old college friend of DH's) who offered to help out at the bar when one of the bartenders didn't show up. He ended up drinking more than he served.

The reception was at a Bed & Breakfast (during the early evening and into the night). We were using the outdoor area which had a dance floor and patio with lots of seating. Our buffet and bar were all outdoors, too. Guests were able to go into the B&B to use the restrooms. Guests had to walk through the B&B's living room to get to the restrooms. Later that evening, our intoxicated "bartender" decided he was going to steal the stereo system from the living room of the B&B. He yanked it off of the shelf and started running to a truck where someone was waiting for him (not a wedding guest). The owner of the B&B chased him and the drunk bartender threw down (and broke) the $3000 sound system, got in the truck, and the truck sped off.

DH and I were horrified! The owner of the B&B was really upset and called the police. We had flashing lights and policeman walking around. Luckily only our close family and friends were the only ones still there since most of the other guests had already left before this happened.

We gave the police the name of the guest who was later arrested for attempted burglary. I was in tears, but several people had told us that our wedding with the outdoor scenery on the Rio Grande, was one of the best weddings they'd ever been to. Many never knew what had occurred since the reception was winding down when this happened and most of the guests had already left.

 

[Caradana]

Okay, so this wasn't a "worst" experience in the sense that we truly had fun. It was memorable as heck, though! I posted it years ago on the DIS and I still think of it from time to time!

It was a family wedding on my DH's side, and it was at a firehouse in Southern New Jersey. I have to give credit to every gas station attendant in Mullica Hill, New Jersey, for giving us and the other 100 or so guests directions, as the directions included with the invitation were wrong and left you behind a Kohl's, doing an illegal u-turn in their loading zone. But I digress.

The bride had ditched her last potential groom, and there was an audible sigh of relief as the double-doors opened and there she was. The sigh was made even more audible by the fact that the DJ's system shorted out at that moment.

So they were married ... lovely lovely ... she and the attendants filed back out ... and then immediately turned around and were introduced back into the room. That marked the end of the wedding and the beginning of the reception. Cool.

The bar served Miller Light in pitchers. You had to ask your waitress for plastic cups.

Keep in mind that the ladies room contains 1 stall and an anteroom, rather an issue when 60 women are drinking Miller Light in pitchers. I finally made it up to the front and as I peed, heard the bride's and maid of honor's voice in the anteroom. Cool, I thought. I hadn't met the bride, and as I left, this would be a good opportunity to wish her well. I swung the stall door open to find the bride nude, except for a thong and heavy tattooing. The maid of honor was holding her dress. This step was apparently taken so that the bride wouldn't risk peeing on it.

About an hour later, the ladies room overflowed, and as the facility manager bailed out the bathroom with a wastepaper basket, the DJ announced that women should now use the men's room, and men should use the side door and "go around back."

The entrees came out on the buffet, and the steam cloud of garlic overtook us. That's about all I can say for food ...

The wedding ended at 9:00 PM. At 9:02 PM, they were flashing the lights as the custodians flipped chairs on the tabletops in order to start mopping.

We got lost on the way home. We wound up at a McDonalds somewhere in Gloucester County. We hadn't eaten since breakfast. I don't think I was ever so happy to encounter a french fry in my life.

I will say that the love was apparent. These two clearly, CLEARLY were meant to be together.
__________________

 

[PaddingtonBear]

I'd love to know on each of these posts if the couple is still together.

I was in a wedding once where the brides dress zipper busted open, as did three of the bridesmaids (all altered at the same salon), the flowers were dead, her morose groom didn't greet people as they walked past him into the church, after the wedding (where the unity candle was extinguished by a sudden draft), and the singer's mic kept screaching, which was frankly more pleasant than the singer's voice. Afterward the groom stalked back up the asile and curtly and told the guests to "Go on and eat now" in the church basement. The food, which was mediocre, was gone by the time the wedding party finally finished pictures an hour later, and the wedding party didn't get to eat. Fortunately the meal included potato chips in little plastic baskets on the table, so we did indulge in chips. I know, very elegant.

The cake was awful and it kind of melted aparat and started leaning over before they cut it. The food smelled awful so it wasn't bad that we didn't get to tate it. The bride's family is Catholic and her groom's is Baptist. The pastor of her Baptist church put tracts around exhorting Catholics to repent of idol worship, which had the bride's realtives furious and hurt. It was just a mess of a day.

4 years later and the bride and groom are still together- and I think they will be for the long haul.

 

[IDoDis]

DH and I are still together. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary a couple of weeks ago.

 

[olena]

My husband was in one, well supposed to be, where he and the rest of the groomsmen were kicked out by the bride the day of the wedding. For literally no reason, she was just insane. They had to stand in the back of the church and not even allowed to sit for the ceremony! She replaced them with her family, one of whom was wearing a Rebel hat and another with overalls and a toolbelt. Seriously. They she demanded the kicked out groomsmed set up these heavy pots of sunflowers for her to walk through. At the reception they served Fritos and punch, and there was broken glass in the punch bowl. That was it, nothing else. Oh wait, a cowboy themed cake, like you'd get for a 5yo boy's birthday party. She also had some sort of money dance, where you were expected to dance with the bride and pay. NO ONE would get up so finally one of her sketchy relatives did. Then the DJ literally begged people to come up. Still, no one did. Afterwards, she rode off in a horse and buggy, with instructions that the kicked out groomsmen load the sunflowers into a relative's pick up truck. Needless to say, they all scrapped that idea and took off. Oh yeah, she also lied the time of the wedding so that everyone would be there early, and we all were, sitting there like idiots for 3 HOURS!!!

What a piece of work she was!

 

[Ohiodislover]

A friend of ours were married on Valentines Day. Perfect day-however the blizzard and code 4 weather alert that accompanied it wasn't. We weren't even supposed to be on the roads, yet alone attending a wedding. DH was in the wedding party, so we went. Took 2 hours to go what should have taken 30 minutes, and had to get out and shovel the road a couple of places where it had drifted pretty high. The only thing that saved it, was that it was on a military base, and the base was cleared off. Many guests didn't show because of the weather, so we were able to stay the night, because rooms were reserved but not used.

Not a bad story, but definitely weird. DH used to manage a comic book store. Granted it was one of the nicest in Ohio, but still a comic shop. Two of his customers were married there. Had 25-30 guests, and the reception in the back issue room.

 

[EMom]

Three spring to mind.

1. A relative decided to have an outdoor wedding in July in TEXAS at about 1:00. There was not a shade tree to be seen and no cover provided. It was just shy of 100 degrees. The guests who weren't melting were about to pass out. I had mentioned to DH that I didn't know HOW the bride was going to make it through the ceremony in her huge, bouffant, hoop-skirted (okay, at least a massive petticoat) dress. That thing was heavy. Just before the bride comes out, the elderly grandmother, who has reached the age where she feels entitled to say anything, blurts out in a near-yell, "Whose bright idea was it to have this wedding in the big middle of the day in this heat, anyway?" She was only saying what we were all thinking. So the bride walks out in her biggie dress and she looks cool as a cucumber. The ceremony progresses and she continues to not perspire in the slightest. Finally, I muttered to DH, "I think she's got a window unit air conditioner up underneath that hoop skirt." They got a trememdous round of applause when they were pronounced husband and wife, simply because we knew we could now go inside and get some relief. That was over 20 years ago and they are still married.

2. A girl I'd known since kindergarten was getting married to a nice enough guy, but everyone from her friends, to his family, to her family, to the cashier at the grocery store could tell you that marriage had no chance of lasting. I went with two other friends (also known them since kindergarten) and we drove across Texas to that wedding. The whole time, we reminisced about all the good times and near-disasters we'd gotten into since we were five years old. At some point, we drove through LaGrange and it struck us as hysterically funny that we all simultaneously belted out, "how, how, how...." (ZZ Top reference) I'm sure 90% of the people who hit the LaGrange city limits do the same thing.

We found ourselves essentially analyzing whether he would call off the wedding or she would and if so, would they do it before the actual ceremony began or would it occur during the ceremony. Seriously, that is how bad it was. We arrived and discovered that pretty much everyone else, family included, was doing the same thing. The ceremony started and the bride began to walk down the aisle. I kid you not, she was shaking so bad that the petals were flying off her bouquet. She sort of served as her own flower girl. That bouquet was falling apart with every shaky, convulsive step she took. When they got to the part of the ceremony where the minister asks if anyone has any objections, there was an AUDIBLE intake of breath throughout the church and everyone started looking at everyone else. It was like, "YOU say something." "No, YOU say something, I'm not going to say anything." ACK! They were divorced within about 3 years.

3. A childhood friend was getting married. Again, I'd known her since I was 5. I was home from college and really wasn't planning on going to the wedding, but her daddy saw another friend and me that morning and asked if we'd be there......and of course, we said, "Yes, sir." We knew the guy she was marrying was from a family of Class A Rednecks, so there was no telling what was going to be at that wedding. At first, it seemed to be going okay. His side had a few females who were wearing some seriously heavy makeup, but nothing too bad. Then the bridesmaids started down the aisle. I don't know WHO picked those dresses, but they did not consider the girls' figures when they did it. Every girl, save one, was very well-endowed and the dresses were empire waist with a teeny ribbon just under the breasts. All you saw coming down that aisle was......Well, you can guess. Speaking as a well-endowed woman, I'd have never worn that dress. Then the bride came in and her dress was snow white GLOWING satin with a train that must have been 25 feet long. I think they were trying to beat Princess Diana. Problem was, the bride would have to stand on a stool to be 5 feet tall. It was just strange.

Then the real show began....The groom and groomsmen gained our attention. We noticed that the groom was downright maroon in the face. Had he gotten the worst sunburn of his life? And why did his groomsmen (relatives) look so bleary-eyed? Yes, they were still drunk from whatever they had done the night before. And the groom's collar was way too tight. He wasn't sunburned....He was losing circulation. At some point, we couldn't hear his vows anymore and then he just locked at the knees and passed smooth out. Plunk! I'd heard of brides fainting, but seeing that big old bruiser of a guy faint was unexpected. Being drunk and choked was not a good combo.

For a few seconds, everyone froze and there was silence. Then the bride bellowed, "MAMA!!!!!" People started trying to revive him, to no avail. Finally, he had to be carried out and it took awhile to bring him to. My friend and I have a dark sense of humor and couldn't help it.....It stuck us as funny. No one else in that huge crowd looked remotely amused, so we pinched each other to stop giggling. The bride was wailing loudly and finally, the organist had the presence of mind to start playing to cover up her crying. Eventually, the groom was hauled back in, but he was staggering. The best man had to help a bit to get him through it. The minister said the remainder of the vows as fast as an auctioneer. When the bride and groom walked down the aisle, he looked confused and she was pissed. Lord, she was little, but once she got mad, you did not want to be on her bad side. I am sure he got his rear end chewed out that night. They aren't still married.....He died in a car wreck a few years later. I have no idea if they would have lasted.

 

[Starbrite]

Worst Reception Ever...

We had just finished dinner, one attendant was clearing our plates, while the other........ brought us our bill for dinner That's right - we had to pay for our meals at the reception!!! Nobody knew this ahead of time & many people were completely unprepared. I know I ended up paying for the brother of the groom since he didn't have his walet with him. If was knew I was gonna pay for it, I would've ordered the cheaper chicken!

And Yep, they're still married.

 

[EMom]

Oh, I remembered another one.

We went to West Texas for a wedding to a town that gets about 5 drops of rain a year. There were only two places to eat there. The truck stop in the interstate or KFC. A few hours before the wedding, we went to KFC. While there, it began to rain. And rain. Problem is, in places like that, with bone dry ground that cannot absorb rain too well, more than a tiny bit of rain causes flash floods. Yep....The town flooded.

So we chomped on our KFC, hoping the water level would lower enough to get back to the hotel and eventually, it got low enough for us to risk it. We were drenched by the time we got to our room, but hoped we could clean up enough for the wedding. The power was on and off, on and off and getting ready was a challenge, but we did it. We braved the remaining flood water (it kept raining periodlically) and got the the church.

It was dark as night in the middle of the day. There was terrible thunder and lightning, and every few minutes, the power went out, only to come back on in a few more. The organ needed electricity to be played, so every time the power went off, the organ just whined to a slow death. The organist would play it, it would die, she would stand up and haul her music to the other side and start to play the piano instead. When the power came back on, she would pick up her music and trot back over to the organ and play until the power went off again. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat. I told DH that she looked like a duck in shooting gallery, back and forth, back and forth.

The singers were smart and did their duet a capella. The power stayed on long enough for the bride and groom to say their vows. Barely. They divorced probably around 10 years later. She told me she should have taken that storm from hell as a sign to back out of the wedding.

 

[redlight]

I don't know whose bright idea it was to have the bachelor/bachelorette parties the night before the wedding, but he got wasted and swallowed a quarter during a drinking game. Meanwhile, we're hanging with Miss Nebraska who also got drunk and was doing the limbo telling us all she'd be better at it if she wasn't so, um, well-endowed.

 

[Minnie_me]

When I was a sophomore in college, one of my high school friends married a guy she'd met in a bar just a couple months earlier.

While the soloist was performing, I heard someone talking. I was annoyed! The soloist was the bride's sister, and VERY talented. It was a beautiful song! Yet, someone was carrying on a pretty loud conversation during it. I looked around, and discovered that it was the bride and groom!! My mom and I decided that they were still trying to get to know each other.

At the reception, the groom immediately took off his suitcoat and tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. The bride yelled at him because he wouldn't look nice for pictures. He told her to "get lost" (in much ruder words) and started drinking 2-fisted.

During the cutting of the cake, she ever-so-sweetly smushed a teensy bit of cake on his cheek while feeding it to him. He responded by smashing cake all over her face. When she tried to pull away, he grabbed her, pulled her closer, and continued smearing cake all over her. In the struggle, he accidentally pulled out one of her earrings (right thru her earlobe!), and BLOOD started pouring on her white dress!

She ran into the bathroom crying and screaming, "I hate you! I never want to see you again as long as I live!"

They just celebrated their 25th anniversary!

 

[olena]

When I was a sophomore in college, one of my high school friends married a guy she'd met in a bar just a couple months earlier.

While the soloist was performing, I heard someone talking. I was annoyed! The soloist was the bride's sister, and VERY talented. It was a beautiful song! Yet, someone was carrying on a pretty loud conversation during it. I looked around, and discovered that it was the bride and groom!! My mom and I decided that they were still trying to get to know each other.

At the reception, the groom immediately took off his suitcoat and tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. The bride yelled at him because he wouldn't look nice for pictures. He told her to "get lost" (in much ruder words) and started drinking 2-fisted.

During the cutting of the cake, she ever-so-sweetly smushed a teensy bit of cake on his cheek while feeding it to him. He responded by smashing cake all over her face. When she tried to pull away, he grabbed her, pulled her closer, and continued smearing cake all over her. In the struggle, he accidentally pulled out one of her earrings (right thru her earlobe!), and BLOOD started pouring on her white dress!

She ran into the bathroom crying and screaming, "I hate you! I never want to see you again as long as I live!"

They just celebrated their 25th anniversary!