First, SoG does not participate in DME. They are, however, classified as a Disney Deluxe Resort for EMH, on-property transportation, etc.
Considering you are getting a Deluxe room for (on average) the low $100's (nightly), things like DME/
DDP is, in my opinion, not mandatory to make a great vacation.
Regarding veterans...there
is a difference between veterans and military retirees.
Veterans - typically those who served a hitch or two (either during war or peacetime). Their benefits/entitlements are determined by the Veterans Administration (VA).
Retirees - those who normally serve in the military for at least 20 years (a few exceptions do apply). Their benefits/pensions are provided by the Department of Defense (DoD).
That said, it's a great thing when SoG opens their doors to our nation's honorably-discharged veterans on special occassions. Just because someone didn't serve a "full 20" doesn't mean they shouldn't get some sort of "thanks" for their service every now and then.
As for widows/spouses of honorably-discharged vets, due to the fact that no two vets' situations are quite the same, their benefits do vary from person-to-person (best to call SoG directly to get clarification on your entitlements, if any).
Widows/spouses of military retirees
do have full access to SoG, anytime. Your ID card is the "key" to get you in.
Hope this helps-out...